30 quotes
Unexpected sentiments about a funeral invitation
Bobby Ray
We weren't aimin for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for a Slow Song
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one.
[final line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for a Divorce
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Finding Soul Mates
Jake Perry
Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honky Tonk Roots Remain Unchanged
Bobby Ray
You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusation of Dishonesty
Bobby Ray
Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Past and Present Relationships
Jake Perry
The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off.
[about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking a Groom at the Wedding
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!
[after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defending a mother's honor
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Nobody talks to my mama like that!
[After punching Kate; '''Earl Smooter''': Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Poor Communities in Politics
Mayor Kate Hennings
There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Intelligence and Communication Styles
Jake Perry
Honey, just cause I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Confidence in Unlikely Situations
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Unreturned Heart's Truth
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the State of Journalism Today
Mayor Kate Hennings
What ever happened to responsible journalism?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing between conflicting desires and commitments
Earl Smooter
You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Moments in Unlikely Places
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar.
[to Lurlynn; '''Lurlynn''': Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Melanie's Complex Relationship with Jake
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honeymoon Plans Suggested by Bobby Ray
Bobby Ray
Might wanna save those for the honeymoon!
[about a pair of handcuffs; laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling to Explain Family to New York
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?
[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
First Kiss, Last Love
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Passport Requirement for Visiting Alabama
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
People need a passport to come down here.
[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Political Manipulation and Deceitfulness Acknowledged
Mayor Kate Hennings
I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful...and I'm in politics.
[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Cutting Remark on Lifestyle Choices
Mayor Kate Hennings
Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Compliment on a striking appearance
Bobby Ray
Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup.
[to Melanie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Stubbornness and Ignorance
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
You dumb stubborn redneck hick.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judgment on a Yankee's Sobriety
Earl Smooter
Well even if he is a Yankee, at least he's sober.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suggestion to Bobby Ray on Socializing
Melanie Smooter/Carmichael
Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar.
[Drunk, at the bar; '''Eldon''': What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
State Bird of Alabama Warning
Earl Smooter
Careful, you just smashed the state bird of Alabama.
[to Kate]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Roots and Wings in Life
Jake Perry
Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Mel.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns Over Legal Complexities and Simplicity
Jake Perry
I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin me to the cleaners for all I know.
[after looking at divorce papers; '''Melanie''': The cleaners—'''''you'''''?]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.