Sweet Home Alabama (2002) - Quotes

Earl Smooter: Well even if he is a Yankee, at least he's sober.

Earl Smooter: [to Kate] Careful, you just smashed the state bird of Alabama.

Earl Smooter: You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Bobby Ray: [about a pair of handcuffs; laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look] Might wanna save those for the honeymoon!

Bobby Ray: Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?

Bobby Ray: We weren't aimin for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral.

Bobby Ray: You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Bobby Ray: [to Melanie] Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup.

Mayor Kate Hennings: [after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful...and I'm in politics.

Mayor Kate Hennings: There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people.

Mayor Kate Hennings: What ever happened to responsible journalism?

Mayor Kate Hennings: Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something?

Jake Perry: Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?

Jake Perry: Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Mel.

Jake Perry: [after looking at divorce papers; '''Melanie''': The cleaners—'''''you'''''?] I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin me to the cleaners for all I know.

Jake Perry: Honey, just cause I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid.

Jake Perry: [about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign] The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [final line] Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching] Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] People need a passport to come down here.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [After punching Kate; '''Earl Smooter''': Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!] Nobody talks to my mama like that!

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [Drunk, at the bar; '''Eldon''': What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: [to Lurlynn; '''Lurlynn''': Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar.

Melanie Smooter/Carmichael: Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!