The Big Lebowski poster

The Big Lebowski Quotes

"Times like these call for a Big Lebowski."

R 1998 · 1h 57m
78
Audience
78
Audience
37 quotes
Discussion on Quintana's Character and Past
The Dude Fuckin Quintana. that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude Yeah.
Walter Sobchak No! He's a sex offender, with a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude Oh!
Walter Sobchak When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a ].
[[w:pederasty|pederast]
Donny What's a pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Nobody Fucks with the Jesus
Jesus Quintana Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana Let me tell *you* something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude Jesus.
Jesus Quintana You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. [walks off]
A Casual Invitation to Go Bowling
Walter Sobchak Eh, fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.
Tournament Schedule Discussion Among Friends
Donny They posted the next round for the tournament!
Walter Sobchak Donny, shut the f— When do we play?
Donny This Saturday. Quintana and—
Walter Sobchak Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule.
The Dude Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak I told that fuck down at the league office–who's in charge of scheduling?
The Dude Walter.
Donny Burkhalter.
Walter Sobchak I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
The Dude Walter.
Donny They already posted it.
Walter Sobchak Well, they can fucking unpost it!
The Dude Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back.
Donny How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?
Walter Sobchak I'm Shomer Shabbos.
Donny What's that, Walter?
The Dude Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski?!
Walter Sobchak Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the ] day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle ], I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!
[[w:Jewish|Jewish; [money]
Donny Sheesh.
Walter Sobchak Shomer Shabbos!
The Dude Walter, how am I going to—
Walter Sobchak Shomer fucking Shabbos.
The Dude Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm outta here.
[leaves]
Walter Sobchak Come on, Dude!
[looks at Donny and mouths "What a fucking baby". Donny smirks and nods]
A Tough Love Reality Check for Walter
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
Cultural Identity and Personal Beliefs Clash
Walter Sobchak I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. My point is: here we are. It's shabbos, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death.
The Dude Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak What the fuck are you talkin about?
The Dude Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic.
Walter Sobchak What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Walter Sobchak And you know this!
The Dude Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? I'm as Jewish as fucking ].
[[w:Tevye|Tevye]
The Dude It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from ] to Sandy Koufax. You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! I'm— Jesus. What the hell happened?
[[Moses]
Tribute to a Fallen Bowler
Walter Sobchak Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and up to Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives, and so would Donny: Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
Exploring Emotional Issues in Dialogue
Walter Sobchak You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in ] at one point. Not in Nam of course.
[[pacifism]
The Dude And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak You mean beyond pacifism?
Theories on a Kidnapping Scenario
The Dude She probably kidnapped herself.
Walter Sobchak Huh?
Donny What do you mean, Dude?
The Dude Rug peers did not do this. Look at it! A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. she figures he isn't given her enough, you know. She owes money all over town.
Walter Sobchak That fucking bitch.
The Dude It's all a goddamn fake, man! It's like ] said: You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know—
[[w:Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]
Donny ]"?
[[:w:I am the walrus|I am the walrus]
The Dude You know what I'm trying to say?
Donny I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak That fucking bitch
The Dude Oh yeah!
Donny I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak That's ex— Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
Donny What the fuck is he talking about?
Walter Sobchak Fuckin exactly what happened to those— That makes me fuckin sick!
The Dude Well, what do you care, Walter?
Walter Sobchak Those rich fucks! This whole fuckin thing! I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so this fuckin strumpet, this fuckin whore could waltz around town–
The Dude Walter, Walter, I don't see any connection to Vietnam, man.
Walter Sobchak Well there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude Walter, face it. There isn't any connection. Your roll.
Walter Sobchak Have it your way, but my point that—
The Dude Your roll.
Walter Sobchak My point is—
Jesus Quintana Are you ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up!
The Dude Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes "click".
The Dude Jesus.
Jesus Quintana You said it, man. Nobody fucks with The Jesus.
Walter Sobchak Eight year olds, Dude.
Bunny You must be here to fix the cable.
[on video]
Maude Lebowski Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Life's Inconvenience and Personal Responsibility
Walter Sobchak Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit!
Discussion of Threats in Context of History
Walter Sobchak Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking ].
[[Nazis]
Donny They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
What Do You Do for Recreation
Walter Sobchak What do you do for recreation?
The Dude Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
A Truthful Observation on Character Behavior
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
The Value of Individual Beliefs
Walter Sobchak ]! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of ], Dude, at least it's an ].
[[Nihilism|Nihilists; [Nazism|National Socialism; [w:ethos|ethos]
The Unconventional Identity of The Dude
The Stranger Way out west there was this fella... fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude". Now, "Dude" - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense.
A Unique Encounter with Bunny Lebowski
Brandt Uh, our guest needs to be going now, Mrs. Lebowski.
The Dude Oh, you're Bunny.
Bunny Lebowski I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt Wonderful woman! We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
[laughs]
Bunny Lebowski Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt Ha ha. That's marvelous.
The Dude Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
The Big Lebowski What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude Dude.
The Big Lebowski Huh?
The Dude Uhh... I don't know sir.
The Big Lebowski Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles
Consequences of Poor Choices
Walter Sobchak You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry? See what happens? This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry!
[smashes car]
Combat Perspectives and Competitive Tensions
Walter Sobchak We're gonna see some tank battles. Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. I mean, that was a foot-soldier's war whereas this thing here should, uh, you know, should be a piece of cake. I mean, I had an ] Jacko, not an ]. Me and ], eyeball to eyeball. That's fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin adversary.
[talking to The Dude; [w:M16 rifle|M16; [w:M1 Abrams|Abrams fucking tank; [w:Viet Cong|Charlie]
Donny Who was in pajamas, Walter?
Walter Sobchak Shut the fuck up, Donny. Whereas what we have here: Bunch of fig-eaters wearin towels on their head tryin to find reverse on a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy fuckin adversary..
Jesus Quintana Hey! What's this "day of rest" shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush-league psych out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Woo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Walter Sobchak ...He's crackin'.
Recreation Activities of The Dude
Maude Lebowski What do you do for— for recreation?
The Dude Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional ] flashback.
[[LSD|acid]
The Importance of a Good Rug
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski Well, sir, it's this rug I had. It really tied the room together.
The Rug
The Dude [repeated line by The Dude and others] That rug really tied the room together.
The Complexity of The Dude's Mind
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski This is a very ] case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you's. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head. Luckily I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber.
[[complicated]
The Mystery of the Toe and Nail Polish
Walter Sobchak That wasn't her toe, Dude.
The Dude Whose toe was it, Walter?
Walter Sobchak How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates—
The Dude The nail polish, Walter!
Walter Sobchak Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to take some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe.
The Dude Someone else's?
Walter Sobchak Pinking shears.
The Dude Where the fuck are they gonna—
Walter Sobchak You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it. Believe me.
The Dude Yeah, but Walter—
Walter Sobchak Hell, I can get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon, with nail polish. These fucking amateurs! They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ!
The Dude Walter—
Walter Sobchak Now the point is—
The Dude They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me.
Walter Sobchak Dude, that's— That's just the stress talkin', man. Now so far, we have, what appears to me, to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude What about the toe?
Walter Sobchak Forget about the fucking toe!
Waitress at diner Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak Oh please, dear? For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!
The Dude Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man.
Waitress at diner Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Walter Sobchak Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
The Dude All right. I'm outta here.
Walter Sobchak Oh come on, Dude. Don't walk away, man! C'mon, this affects all of us, man! Our basic freedoms! I'm stayin'. I'm finishing my coffee. Enjoying my coffee.
[to the waitress; drinks his coffee, trying to ignore people staring at him]
The Balance of Life's Outcomes
The Stranger A wiser man than myself once said, "Sometimes you eat the b'ar.… Sometimes the b'ar, well, he eats you.
Misunderstanding of Identity and Relationships
The Dude Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.
Blond Treehorn Thug Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny.
The Dude My— my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!
Conflict Over Music in a Taxi
The Dude Jesus, man, can you change the channel?
Cab Driver Fuck you, man! If you don't like my fucking music, get your own fucking cab!
The Dude I had a really rough—
Cab Driver I'll pull to the side and kick your ass out.
The Dude Man, come on. I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
Cab Driver Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Crossing the Line in a Game
Walter Sobchak Fucking dog has fucking papers— Over the line!
Smokey Huh?
Walter Sobchak I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.
Smokey Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.
Smokey Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
The Dude Hey, Walter. Come on. it's just– Hey man, it's Smokey. So his toe slipped over a little, you know. It's just a game, man.
Walter Sobchak This is a league game. This determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong?
Smokey Yeah, but I wasn't—
Walter Sobchak Am I wrong?
Smokey Yeah, but I wasn't over. Give me the marker Dude. I'm marking an 8.
Walter Sobchak Smokey, my friend you're entering a world of pain.
[pulls out a pistol]
The Dude Walter, man.
Walter Sobchak You mark that frame an 8, you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey I'm not—
Walter Sobchak A world of pain.
Smokey Look, Dude, I– This is your partner.
Walter Sobchak Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!
[shouting]
The Dude They're calling the cops, man. Put the piece away.
Walter Sobchak Mark it zero!
The Dude Walter, put the piece away.
Smokey Walter?
Walter Sobchak You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!
[racks slide]
Smokey All right. It's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
[marks the card]
Walter Sobchak It's a league game, Smokey.
I'm the Dude
The Dude Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
The Unlikely Hero of The Big Lebowski
The Stranger Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early 90s - just about the time of ] with ] and the ]. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, cause, what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin about the Dude here. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude, in ]. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced him enough.
[[Gulf War|our conflict; [Saddam Hussein|Sad'm; [Iraq|I-raqis; [Los Angeles]
Identity and Honor in Veteran Status
Walter Sobchak Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran that's who I am!
Exploiting Others for Personal Gain
The Dude You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped and you were fuckin glad, man. You could use it as an excuse to make some ] disappear. All you needed was a sap to pin it on! You'd just met me! You f— you human ]! You figured "oh, here's a loser", you know? A deadbeat, someone the square community won't give a shit about.
[[money; [w:paraquat|paraquat]
The Dude Defines His Identity
Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or His Dudeness, Duder or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
Am I Wrong
Walter Sobchak Am I wrong?
The Dude No you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak Am I wrong?
The Dude You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak Okay then.
Walter's Assertion of Calmness
Walter Sobchak I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
Moron
The Dude Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
Communication Breakdown in a Confrontation
Walter Sobchak Language problem here. Little prick stonewalling me.
The Importance of Room Aesthetics
The Dude Yeah, man, it really tied the room together.
Walter Sobchak This was a valued, uh...
The Dude Yeah.
Donny What tied the room together, Dude?
The Dude My rug.
Walter Sobchak Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny?
Donny What?
The Dude Walter.
Walter Sobchak Were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny I was bowling.
Walter Sobchak So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know–
The Dude Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?
Walter Sobchak There's no reason–Here's my point, Dude–There's no fucking reason why these two–
Donny Yeah, Walter, what's your point?
Walter Sobchak Huh?
The Dude Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here. What the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak Huh? No, what the fuck are you–? I'm not...we're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude.
Donny What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude My rug.
Walter Sobchak Forget it, Donny. You're out of your element!
The Dude Look, Walter–Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not— Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Asian-American," please.
The Dude Walter, this isn't ] here. This is a guy—
[[W:Transcontinental Railroad|a guy who built the railroads]
Walter Sobchak What the fuck are you—
The Dude Walter, he peed on my rug!
Donny He peed on The Dude's rug.
Walter Sobchak Donny, you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!
The Dude So, who? Who...?
Walter Sobchak Jeff Lebowski, the other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire!
The Dude That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting.
Walter Sobchak Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources. So that there's no reason–there's no fucking reason–why his wife should go out and owe money all over town, and then they come, and they pee on your fucking rug! Am I wrong?
The Dude No.
Walter Sobchak Am I wrong?
The Dude Yeah, but–
Walter Sobchak Okay, then. That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
The Dude Fuckin A.
Donny And this guy peed on it.
Walter Sobchak Donny. Please.