30 quotes
Wizzie's Excitement for a Bouncy House
Wizzie
We could buy a bouncy house! Godspeed, Tim! It's 8:45 a.m.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child's Frustration with Sibling Rivalry
Tim
I WISH YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BORN!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Freedom and Magical Escape
Wizzie
If only I could reach my magical shank. I could break us out of this big house.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Challenges and Responsibilities
Wizzie
Because it's 7:00 a.m. I have one job to do, and you make it so difficult.
[Tim: What's the point, Wizzie?]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Forever Puppy: A Global Takeover Plan
Francis Francis
We're gonna launch a brand new puppy in every continent. In every country! We're going to take over the world, one heart at a time. Imagine a puppy that never grows up, never gets old. A puppy that stays a puppy forever. I give you the only thing you'll ever love, the Forever Puppy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Meeting with Enthusiastic Responses
Boss Baby
Thank you all for coming here on such a short notice. Now, before we begin...
[Is the kid listening?]
Triplet One
Yes, sir!
Triplet Two
Sure is!
Triplet Three
Affirmative!
Boss Baby
Jimbo, run some interference.
Tim
Hey!
Boss Baby
We babies are having a crisis!
Triplet One
Oh no!
Triplet Two
That's awful!
Triplet Three
Horrible!
Staci
What is it?
Boss Baby
Well, it's simpler if I just show you. Teddy, if you please.
Story Bear
Let's put on a show!
Triplets
Oh.
[Staci gasps]
Story Bear
Here we go!
Boss Baby
Jimbo, hit the lights. You see, babies are not getting as much love as we used to.
[Jimbo hits lights]
Staci
Why? Have we been bad?
Boss Baby
No, Staci. But I will tell you who is. Behold our mortal enemy. Puppies!
All
Aww!
Boss Baby
No! NO! That!s exactly the problem!
Tim
Puppies? What is the deal with puppies?
Boss Baby
Throughout history, people have loved babies more than anything in the world. We have always been must-have item, number one on every wish list. Puppies were merely accessories. But all that changed when the puppies began coming out with new designer models. Each one more adorable than the last. Remember the Labradoodle? The Peekaboo? The Chiweenie? Try to say "Chiweenie" without smiling. Not possible. Don't waste your time. We all laughed at the Shar Pei. And now it is number one in China.
['''All''': Chiwee...; Jimbo laughs]
Triplet One
Oh no!
Triplet Two
That's terrible!
Triplet Three
Horrible!
Boss Baby
Yes. And it gets even worse. Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co, made this announcement. Teddy, roll the clip.
Francis Francis
And we are on schedule to release the most adorable puppy ever! We are going to launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas! Watch out, world! It is going to crush the competition!
Jimbo
Yay!
[laughs]
Boss Baby
No, Jimbo. No "yay". We are the competition! This is war. Puppies are winning, and babies are losing. Thank you, Teddy. And if this new puppy is as cute as we fear, it could put the baby business out of business, baby.
Triplet One
Uh-oh!
Triplet Two
That's awful!
Triplet Three
Bad news, baby!
Staci
What are we going to do?
Boss Baby
My job is to find out exactly what that new puppy is, so that Baby Corp can stop it. And you're going to help me.
Triplet One
Genius!
Triplet Two
Home run!
Triplet Three
You still got it, boss!
Staci
Yay!
Boss Baby
Yay. Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co. So, have you learned anything from them?
Triplet One
Yes, sir!
Triplet Two
Sure did!
Triplet Three
Mm-hm!
Boss Baby
Fantastic. Triplets, go!
Triplets
A, B, C, D.
Boss Baby
No, what have you learned about the new puppy?
Jimbo
Yay, puppy!
[laughs]
Boss Baby
No, Jimbo! Puppies are evil! Staci, read back the notes.
Staci
I can't read. What's it saying?
[Jimbo rattles, then Theodore stops the rattle]
Boss Baby
THIS IS MY TEAM!? A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men, and a doodler?
Triplet One
Exactly!
Triplet Two
Affirmative!
Triplet Three
Good call!
Triplet One
Oh yeah!
Triplet Two
Nice one, BB!
Tim
Gotcha!
Boss Baby
(to Jimbo) PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN! Cookies are for closers.
Story Bear
Let's have another show!
Boss Baby
No, Teddy! No!
[Staci cries]
Story Bear
How about a hug?
Boss Baby
No more shows!
Triplet
Boss!
Story Bear
There's plenty of love to go around!
Boss Baby
Teddy, go to sleep!
Story Bear
Nighty-night...
[in low-battery voice; faints]
Triplet
Boss, Boss!
Boss Baby
WHAT?!
Triplets
PARENTS!
Ted
Aww! It's like they're having their own little meeting!
[The parents begin taking pictures of the babies, Boss Baby is eating his foot, Staci is throwing her papers in the air, and Jimbo is eating all the cookies]
Janice
Isn't that adorable?
Man
Who wants dessert?
Boss Baby
God, this is so humiliating!
[takes his foot out of his mouth; it repeats on the tape]
Tim
Wait until Mom and Dad hear this.
[determined; gasps, finds Boss Baby and his infants]
Boss Baby
Hey, Templeton, what you got there?
Tim
Uh, nothing.
[hides the tape]
Boss Baby
Hand over the tape.
Tim
Never! Mom! Dad! Over here!
[rushes outside and finds Janice and Ted inside]
Janice
Hi, Timmy!
Ted
Hi! Anyway...
[Tim gets surrounded by Boss Baby and his infants. They are in vehicles. Staci in a kid's flower bike.]
Girl
(on recording) Flower power!
[Jimbo rolls his ball popper. The triplets in a firetruck. Boss Baby in a police car.]
Boss Baby
You can't get away from Johnny Law, simpleton.
[through a bullhorn]
Tim
Ha!
[runs]
Girl
Fasten your seat belt! Let's go!
Jimbo
Run, run, run, run, run...
[crashes through a fence. The triplets ride in the firetruck and snatch the tape]
Tim
Hey!
Triplet
Ha-ha!
[Tim finds the hose rolling out]
Tim
Hmm.
Triplet
Uh-oh!
[gasps; Tim ties the hose to a pole with tap and yanks it really hard, which sends the triplets and the tape flying]
Triplets
WHOA!
[flying through the air]
Jimbo
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run! Catch, catch, catch, catch, catch, catch!
[runs out of the fence; catches them, and the firetruck hits the ground explodes, sending the tape flying]
Tim
Whoa!
Boss Baby
Yes! Oh, yeah! Let go, you little...
[grabs the tape and flies in the air then comes back to the ground; finds Tim in the police car, then Tim splutters]
Janice
Oh, look, the kids are finally getting along.
Ted
That's nice!
[Janice and Ted clink glasses together]
Tim
Sayonara! You wanna play? Let's play!
[rides a rope into his treehouse, and grabs suction cup darts and a Nerf gun; uses a paper clip and swings down on a rope and shoots suction cup darts at Jimbo]
Jimbo
NOOOOO! Save Boss! Save Boss!
[gets suction cup darts on him. The tape drops. Tim grabs the tape]
Boss Baby
Get him!
Triplets
I got him, I got him, I got him!
[Tim jumps on a trampoline into the window of the house, and Staci and the triplets bounce on the trampoline, unable to reach the window. Staci flies into the air and gets stuck in a tree]
Tim
You're toast, baby man!
Boss Baby
Upsies! I need upsieeees!
[Jimbo twirls him, and Boss Baby flies into a window, breaking it.]
Ted
Who wants... cheese-sticks!
[comes out with a plate of cheese-sticks; drops the plate]
Janice
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[They look at the mess.; Jimbo stands still.; The triplets play with the broken glass from the window that Jimbo threw Boss Baby into it.; Staci is stuck in the tree. She looks at them, with a confused expression on her face, and cries.]
Tim
Mom, Dad! I've got proof! Ah! Oh, someone can't go down the stairs? Ha!
[Boss Baby runs in his walker and gets vampire teeth, then growls and bites Tim on the leg; Boss Baby tumbles, and Tim slides down the stairs]
Boss Baby
Nothing can stop me!
[spits out vampire teeth; rolls down the stairs, then Tim opens the door, and he rolls outside, and Tim closes the door]
Tim
Mom, Dad! Where are you guys? Hello! Where did everyone go? Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!
[runs into the office room]
Boss Baby
Oh, can he now?
[turns to Tim in a chair]
Tim
Wait, how did you...?
Boss Baby
Hand over the tape, Timmy, or Lam-Lam gets it, see?
[grabs a stapler]
Tim
No!
Boss Baby
What's that, Lam-Lam? Oh, you want a nose ring? Well, it's really not my scene, but who am I to judge!? And an eyebrow ring. Seems like a little bit too much, Lam-Lam!
[staples Lam-Lam's nose, then Tim whimpers; staples Lam-Lam's eyebrow]
Tim
Ah!
Boss Baby
How's that gonna look in a job interview?
Tim
Stop it!
Boss Baby
The tape, Timmy, or I'm gonna rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip...
Tim
NOOOOO! Let go!
[grabs Lam-Lam and they tug at her]
Boss Baby
You let go!
Tim
You let go!
Boss Baby
Give me the tape!
Tim
Give me Lam-Lam!
[pauses; gasps, seeing Lam-Lam ripped, then glares at Boss Baby]
Boss Baby
Whoops! Too far! Templeton, Templeton, let’s be reasonable! We can be reasonable, right? What are you doing?!
[Tim grunts, grabs him]
Tim
You've been asking for this since you got here!
[throws Boss Baby in a baby jumper and opens the curtains and window; puts the jumper up on the window]
Boss Baby
We can talk about this over a juice box!
Tim
Time for juice boxes is over!
[pulls it back to use as a slingshot]
Boss Baby
No, no, Templeton! You wouldn't!
Tim
Say bye-bye, baby! You're fired!
Ted
Tim, what are you doing?!
[enters the room with Janice]
Tim
Nothing. My proof!
[looks at his father; Boss Baby looks at Ted, and cries. Tim let us go of the jumper, accidentally shoots the tape out the window, then it lands onto the road and gets run over in tape is brokeness by a passing car, horrified, gasps; Boss Baby grins triumphantly]
Janice
Tim! Explain yourself!
[takes Boss Baby]
Ted
Yes, explain yourself!
Tim
It wasn't me! It was the baby's fault!
Ted
The baby's fault?
Tim
It's true, he can talk! They all can talk! They're having a meeting! There's something about puppies! It's one big baby con-spy-racy!
Janice
Timothy Leslie Templeton!
[shocked; Boss Baby snickers]
Ted
We are very disappointed in you.
Janice
No, we're mad at you!
[corrects Ted]
Ted
Exactly, we're mad at you!
Tim
Mad?
[heartbroken]
Ted
You need a time-out!
Janice
You're grounded!
[corrects Ted again]
Ted
Yes, grounded! (to Janice) For two?
Janice
Three!
Ted
(to Janice) Three days?
Janice
Weeks!
Ted
Weeks! Three weeks!
Janice
For three... EVERS!
Tim
Grounded?
[heartbroken]
Janice
You're gonna stay in this house with your baby brother... until you learn to get along.
[Boss Baby gasps and looks at her up with confusion]
Boss Baby
Oh, great.
[slight pauses; disappointed; Tim looks down in disappointment. The scene fades to a jail/prison cell]
Adult Tim
It was my first time behind bars. The big house. The lock-up. Grounded for life. The minutes turned into hours, the hours into days. Every man has his breaking point. This was mine.
[narrates]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embrace the Power of Dark Magic
Wizzie
Expose his dark magic!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence in Leadership
Boss Baby
Let's just say, I'm the boss.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Forever Puppies Launch Announcement
Francis Francis
I'm launching my Forever Puppies, and there's nothing you can do about it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Enlightening Parents with a Great Curse
Wizzie
Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened. With a great curse! They shall not pass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wizzie Promotes the Importance of Breakfast
Wizzie
Arise for a nutritious breakfast! It's 7:00 a.m.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Departure from Wizzie
Wizzie
Wake up, little halflings! It is time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives. BE GONE WITH YOU!!!
[After the end credits, the alarm clock goes off; flailing his arms up and down]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wizzie Questions Timothy's Mood
Wizzie
Oh, what's wrong, Timothy? Has that little dwarf made you blue?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Call to Action
Wizzie
Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Reminder to Stay Prepared
Tim
Hang on to your diaper!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Rivalry over a Song
Tim
Stop it, that is my song, not yours! My parents wrote it just for me!
[about "Blackbird"]
Theodore
Really? Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?
Tim
No, Ted and Janice. You don't even know their names. You’re just trying to steal them from me! You stole everything! You’re the one who should be in jail!
Theodore
Look, it is time we put our differences aside. Oh, uh, have you been...
[sighs]
Tim
No!
Theodore
Oh, where is HR when you need them? Take it.
[?]
Tim
I don't want your filthy money.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Assistance and encouragement in challenging times
Wizzie
It's okay, little halfling. Perhaps I can be of some assistance. Blackbird singing in the dead of night! Pray, take these broken wings and learn to fly! Fly, you fools!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dynamics of Baby Leadership
Tim
So this whole place is run by babies?
[regarding Baby Corp]
Theodore
Yep.
Tim
My dad says, "Those who can, do. And those who cannot, supervise.
Boss Baby
Your father is a hippie.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determined to Achieve Vengeance Against Baby Corp
Francis Francis
Nothing is going to get in the way of my vengeance. Not you, not anybody! Baby Corp is through! I win! Ha!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusation of Theft and Betrayal
Tim
No, Ted and Janice. You don't even know their names. You're just trying to steal them from me! You stole everything! You are the one who should be in jail!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Attention and Support
Boss Baby
Upsies. l need upsies.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret Over Parental Love and Authority
Francis Francis
You could have had your parents love all to yourself again! But no, you blew it! You let that baby boss you around!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Childhood Comfort Objects
Ted:
Well, you carried Lam-Lam around until you were like-
Tim:
This is not about Lam-Lam.
[suddenly sharp; Boss Baby snorts to hold back a laugh and spits out baby food]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rejection of Unwanted Wealth
Tim
I don't want your filthy money.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Upcoming Puppy Launch at Pet Convention
Francis Francis
And we are on schedule to release the most adorable puppy ever. We're gonna launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas! Watch out, world! It's gonna crush the competition!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Time in a Wizard's Realm
Wizzie
It's okay, little halfling. Sometimes, I get confused too. Especially during daylight savings time. Spring forward, fall back. We don't even have calendars in the wizard's realm! There is no spring, only darkness and winter!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wizzie's Declaration of a Great Curse
Wizzie
Then I shall cast upon him a great curse! He shall not pass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child's Perspective on Attitude
Francis Francis
Bratty kid!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cookies Are for Closers, Not for Sharing
Boss Baby
(to Jimbo) PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN! Cookies are for closers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Love and Revenge
Francis Francis
Baby Corp stole all the love from me, and now I'm goingto take it back from them... You should understand what I'm talking about! You got replaced just like me?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.