Cowboys: Texas vs. New Mexico Debate
Officer Shaw:
Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper:
Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.
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Debate Over Unpaid Bills
Sonny: [Pepper drags Sonny behind a horse carriage, hiding from the owners of the Waldorf Astoria]
Pepper, those people are guessing that you skipped the bill.
Pepper:
Oh yeah, well they guessed right!
Sonny:
Well, then pay them!
Pepper:
Yeah right, with what?
Sonny:
You lying son of a bitch, you told me You still got some of that prize money left!
Pepper:
Of course I do, have I ever lied to you before?
Sonny:
Well, how much do you got?
Pepper:
About 8 bucks, I reckon.
Sonny:
About 8 bucks, I reckon?
Pepper:
Better than a poke in the eye.
Sonny: [Starts walking off]
Pepper, I've about had it with you!
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Questioning Integrity in Financial Dealings
Sonny:
So, what did you do to make the money to buy this? You didn't give that old lady a fake check did you?
Pepper: [under his breath]
No, of course not. Bitch wouldn't take a check.
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Ordering Wine at the Waldorf Astoria
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
And would you care to order wine with your meal?
Pepper:
Uh, yeah why don't you bring us a bottle of something or other, uh not too sweet, American.
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
American something or other, yes sir an excellent choice and would you like glasses or do you prefer to drink directly from the bottle?
Pepper:
Well, um, glasses I reckon and oh hay toss a little ice in mine if you would my good man.
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
Ice, certainly sir. Nothing could surprise me now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Steak Preparation Confusion at Waldorf Astoria
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
How would you gentlemen like your steak prepared?
Pepper:
Prepared? Oh you mean cooked?
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria:
Yes, of course, that's what I should have said, cooked.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelations Among Friends
Chango:
What's a baby cow gonna do to me?
Chango:
Hey come on man! What you doing?
Sonny:
Well what do you know, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants!
Pepper: [pulls a baby calf out of the barn and the calf starts snorting]
He sees it!
Sonny:
Damn, that hungry devil thinks your little wee-wee is his mama's teat.
Chango:
Hey hey man, you guys can't do this.
Sonny:
I'll ask you one more time asshole, where's Teresa?
Chango:
I ain't telling you shit!
Sonny:
It's your call stubby, let him go Pepper!
Chango: [begins to moan as the calf begins to suck his penis]
Whoa!
Sonny:
Damn, that looks like it hurts.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Steak Cooking Preferences in The Cowboy Way
Waiter:
How would you like you steaks cooked?
Pepper:
Oh, just knock its horns off, wipe its nasty ass, and chunk it right here on this plate.
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Friendship Tested at the Rodeo
Nacho:
Pepper is still trying to make up.
Sonny:
Hell I ain't listening
Nacho:
He's your friend. You guys should be out there chasing that steer together, right now.
Sonny:
A friend don't pull a no show at a national rodeo, Nacho. Not in my book. I had plans for that money, you know that.
Nacho:
Is there anything in that book about forgiveness?
Sonny:
Nacho, Pepper & I are through, OK?
Nacho:
You have the heart the size of a tiny raisin, you know that?
Sonny:
Why don't you just handle my book?
Nacho:
If you only knew what it was like to be alone, you would treasure your friend.
Sonny:
Where are you going?
Nacho:
Home. I'm going home.
Sonny:
You're not going to stay and watch me ride?
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A Reunion in Unexpected Circumstances
Nacho:
Good to see you, man!
Pepper:
¿Como estas?
Nacho:
Where the hell have you been?
Pepper:
I've been with the worms in Mexico
Nacho:
¡Chihuahua!
Pepper:
I miss your cookin
Nacho:
You talk to Sonny? C'mon Pepper, Sonny will forgive you.
Pepper:
Oh, yeah? When? That rodeo was a year ago. He ain't said six words to me, since. I told him I'm sorry. What the hell does he want?
Nacho:
Sonny, he don't care about words. You have to show him.
Pepper:
I ain't gonna kiss his ass if that's what you mean. It's so sour it probably taste like a damned old lemon, anyhow.
Nacho:
Don't give up on him, Pepper. You've been friends too long for that.
Pepper:
Yeah. I had a reason for not showing up to that rodeo
Nacho:
Tell him what he wants and he will understand.
Pepper:
Maybe someday when he ain't being such a damned shitass.
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Versatile Skills of Riding and Dancing
Pepper Lewis:
If it's got hair, I can ride it. If it's got a beat, I can dance to it.
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