The Faculty Quotes

Stokely So they've just been setting us up over the years with their E.T.'s and their Men In Black movies, just so no one would believe it if it ever happened.

Casey I think so.

Taglines What if your teachers really were from another planet?

Marybeth What happens at the end of all those stories, Stokely? How does Invasion of the Body Snatchers turn out?

Stokely They get us. They win. We lose.

Marybeth Maybe we really win. I mean, Stan didn't look unhappy.

Stokely That's because that wasn't Stan. They took away who he was.

Marybeth Maybe they just bettered who he was. Cleared away his confusion. I know you pride yourself on being the outsider, but aren't you tired of pretending to be something you're not? I know I am.

Casey Conner Guaranteed to jack you up!

Stokely What are we going to do with the police not being an option?

Stan I could call my dad, he'd know what to do.

Casey If he's really your dad anymore.

Taglines And you thought YOUR teachers were weird...

Casey Conner If you were going to take over the world, would you blow up the White House, ] style, or sneak in through the back door?

Taglines Think your teachers are aliens? You could be right.

Stokely Zeke, it is her!

Marybeth She's lying, she's trying to fake you out. We don't know what she is. Gay? Straight? Alien?

Zeke Answer me something, Marybeth... why are you naked?

Marybeth Does it bother you, Zeke? My body? I'm getting kind of used to it myself.

Taglines The students at Herrington high will not only question authority... they'll have to destroy it.

Casey Everyone's been acting really weird, especially the faculty.

Stokely Tell me about it, it's like they've all turned into fucking pod people or something.

Casey Into what people?

Stokely ]. Small town gets taken over by aliens... That was a joke.

Taglines Take me to your teacher.

Taglines You will not be disrespectful this school year!

Stokely Mitchell I always thought the only alien in this high school was me.

Taglines Meet the Alien Generation.

Marybeth You know, in my world Casey, there were limitless oceans as far as the eye could see. Beautiful, huh? Till it started to dry out. So I escaped, came here, and I met you, all of you. And all of you were different from the others. You were lost and lonely, just like me. And I thought that maybe I could give you a taste of my world. A world without anger, without fear, without attitude. Where the underachiever goes home at night to parents who care. The jock can be smart, the ugly duckling beautiful, and the class wuss doesn't have to live in terror. And the new girl, well - the new girl, she can just fit right in with anybody. People who are just like her. You see Casey, even Marybeth's feelings can be hurt by a bunch of pathetic, lost, little outcasts who truly believe that their disaffected lonely life is the only way they can survive. I can make you a part of something so special, Casey, so perfect, so fearless... Don't you want that, Casey?

Casey I'd rather be afraid!

Marybeth Fine. All right. Have it your way! Cause this is where your land of fiction gets it right: we win. End of story!

Casey God, you can be such a...

Delilah What?

Casey Pretty cool human being when you're not being a first class grade A bitch.

Delilah Are you hitting on me Casey?

Casey No. No, I just think that you can be cool. Sometimes. This not being one of them.

Taglines The students at Herrington High always suspected their teachers were from another planet... they were right!

Zeke Casey. Man, the only person in this school whose an alien is you.

Casey Fuck you, Zeke.

Stokely Body Snatchers is a story somebody made up, dingus. It's located in the fiction section of the library.

Casey Yeah, so is ].

Gabe Hey yo, pisswad, you're in my way.

Casey I'm sorry. I was breathing here.

Gabe Yeah, that's the problem. You're occupying my air, you anal probe.

Taglines On December 25, School's Out Forever.

Casey Conner You wouldn't have liked it here anyway.