The First Wives Club (1996) - Quotes

Empowerment and Independence in Relationships

Wives: [singing] You don't own me... don't try to change me in any way. You don't own me... don't tie me down cause I'll never stay!

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Casual Conversations Among Friends

Shelly: Got a cigarette?

Bill: Certainly. By the way, how old are you?

Morton: May I have this dance?

Brenda: Certainly Morty.

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Empowering Message on Strength and Independence

Elise: Ivana? I wanna thank you for coming so much, you're an angel!

Ivana Trump: Oh, of course.

Annie: Thank you so much, again.

Ivana: Ladies, you have to be strong and independent. And remember...

Elise: What?

Ivana: Don't get mad... get everything.

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Jealousy and Feelings Among Friends

Elise: You think just because I'm a movie star, I don't have feelings, well, you're wrong! I do have feelings! I'm an actress! I have ALL of them!

Brenda: (putting on a meek voice) Well, I wouldn't understand. You see I'm just a poor little housewife, in a little apron, with a little child to raise!

Elise: Yeah, well, you were always jealous of me, even in college, because I was blonde and beautiful and talented, and I could have any guy I wanted!

Annie: (faintly in the background) Um, you guys...

Brenda: And did! Every guy! Most of the senior class and half the faculty!

Elise: Well! It was the Sixties!

Brenda: (scornful) Look at this place! Is this where your fanclub meets? Do you have ritual sacrifices?!

Elise: Put that down! Put that down! I won that!

Brenda: I remember! Your first talkie!

Elise: Yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? Best Digestion?! (she screams as Brenda throws the statuette) Oh no... Brenda, this is a Golden Globe! It's sacred! It's... TRADEMARKED!! (Elise throws the statue at Brenda and smashes the wall mirror)

Brenda: (frightened, she barks) "Are you CRAZY!?

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Unexpected Guest at the Bar Mitzvah

Brenda: (gasps loudly)

Annie: What?

Brenda: He brought her to our son's bar mitzvah?

Annie: Is she a gift?

Uncle Carmine: Permission to speak freely, Brenda?

Brenda: Oh yea, Annie's cool.

Uncle Carmine: Morty is garbage. You gave him the best years of your life, and he pushes you aside for a younger model. It would be an honor for us to take him out.

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Miscommunication Among Friends at a Celebration

Elise: You didn't invite me to your son's bar mitzvah!

Brenda: You wouldn't have come!

Annie: Yeah, it was in Hebrew...

Brenda: Oh, SHUT UP!

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Confrontation Over Drinking Habits

Elise: You've got some nerve! I drink because I am a sensitive and highly strung person!

Brenda: No, that's why your co-stars drink!

Elise: I am not a DRUNK!

Brenda: Oh really? Let's examine the evidence! Look! All bottles! And gallon jugs!

Elise: I had GUESTS.

Brenda: Who, Guns N Roses?!

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Sisterhood and Frustration in Conflict

Elise: You wouldn't understand, you're civilians!

Brenda: That's it. (infuriated) I understand. (she grabs the bottle from Elise)

Elise: Hey... give that back...

Brenda: I'm saying this to you with love, compassion and the spirit of true sisterhood: you are full of SHIT!

Elise: What?

Brenda: (pouring the alcohol down the sink) So okay, alimony sucks! Okay, you didn't get to play a policewoman in a Wonder bra! But look at you! You grew up gorgeous, and thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts, you still haven't hit puberty! And once upon a time, you were a great actress, you've even got an Oscar to prove it! You've spent your whole life with people sucking up to you, but I'm sure Annie will agree with me when I say your perception of life is somewhat altered!

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A Shocking Breakup Announcement

Aaron: I want a divorce.

Annie: (shocked)B-- BUT WE JUST MADE LOVE! I mean you asked me out! (Starts crying)

Aaron: I asked you out to tell you, but then you looked so good. I thought, gee isn't this romantic. You know one last time, a goodbye kiss.

Aaron: Annie don't be childish, you know how you manipulate me.

Annie: What, manipulate, i.. i..(Realizes what's going on). Oh my god, is there someone else?

Aaron: Of course not this is about us,... well it's really about you...

Leslie: Babe!

Leslie: Oh my god.

Annie: Oh my god!

Aaron: Oh my god...

Leslie: This is very awkward...

Aaron: No, no, Annie was just leaving!

Leslie: You told her?

Aaron: I was totally upfront!

Annie: What!? Excuse me!

Leslie: Annie, this is rough, I know that-

Annie: ROUGH!? Wait a minute, I don't understand! You are my therapist!

Leslie: I'm a woman.

Annie: He is my husband. Oh!

Aaron: Annie, we've been separated for months. Now let's not over-dramatise.

Leslie: Aaron, she's aloud to be angry. Annie, let's use this; he's found someone new; you're free; closure.

Annie: I am sorry, but that is not what this is. No!

Leslie: Annie no, Annie you're not helping us out here- now I am sorry...

Annie: SO AM I! I AM VERY SORRY I EVER MET YOU; AND I AM SORRY THAT I ALLOWED MYSELF TO LOVE YOU FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. I'M SORRY I DID NOTHING BUT BE THERE FOR YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY AND SUPPORT YOU IN YOUR EVERY MOVE!!! I'M SORRY!!! (Starts crying and leaves)

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Questioning Beauty Enhancements Among Friends

Brenda: OK Elise, the time has come... spill it. Those goddamn lips- what's in em. Are they wax?

Elise: Excuse me?

Brenda: What else did you have done? Come on Elise you can tell me. The cheek one, the jaw line. Did you have a little bit, or the full enchilada?!

Elise: I work out every day. I watch my diet. I have not had plastic surgery.

Annie: Well good for you, you look terrific.

Brenda: Oh come on. Elise your lying through your caps.

Elise: Ok. All right, I have been freshened up a little.

Annie: (Puts down wine glass) Oh god, does it hurt.

Elise: (drinking) Mmmm, no.

Brenda: What do they do with the stuff they take off? Do you get to keep it?

Elise: Oh come on Brenda, it's the nineties for god's sake. (Picks up cigarette and lights it) I mean it's like... Plastic surgery is like good grooming, it's like brushing your teeth.

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Hollywood's Age Constraints on Women

Morris: You're 45! If I give you one more facelift, you're going to be able to blink your lips. I mean, don't you want to be able to play a part your own age?

Elise: My own age?" No no. You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood; "Babe", "District Attorney", and "Driving Ms. Daisy." And right now, I want to be young. Science-fiction young.

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A Humorous Take on Beauty Treatments

Elise: Do it Morris, do it to me now, I need it. You're the only one who does it the way I like it. You're the king.

Morris: Elise, if I give you any more collagen, your lips are going to look like they got stuck in a pool drain

Exploring Identity and Relationships in Conversations

Chris: You're a doormat.

Annie: Why are you so crabby today honey, is it school? I know what it is; it's a boy.

Chris: I'm a lesbian mom. I'm a lesbian, but that's not the point.

Annie: Wait, sweetie, when you say "lesbian"--

Chris: And don't tell daddy, I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's day or Christmas morning.

Catherine: Annie? Thank God you're all right. Where were you? Who saw you?

Annie: Who saw me what?

Chris: She was sleeping with daddy.

Catherine: Oh muffin dear you've come to your senses, I'm so happy.

Annie: Mother, I am not sleeping with Aaron. He's just having some problems with his partners. He's feeling very conflicted and he needed somebody to talk to.

Chris: Doormat!

Annie: Lesbian!

Unexpected Revelations and Social Commentary

Chris: Guess what, dad? I'm a lesbian. A big one.

Dr. Morris Packman: If I give you one more face lift, you're going to be able to blink your lips!

Gunilla: (sees Shelley and Morty entering her building) Social climbers on the rise.

The Complexity of Celebrity Emotions

Elise: You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!

Aging and Attraction: Elise's Perspective on Love

Elise: No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud!

Embracing Abundance and Enjoyment

Elise: Fill em up!

Fashion Critique and Protest Against Designers

Brenda: (upon seeing a slinky dress) Now, I ask you, Duarto, who's supposed to wear that? Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus? It's a conspiracy, I know it is! I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. I'm not buying another article of clothing until these designers come to their senses!