The Goodbye Girl (1977) - Quotes

Appreciating Neil Simon's Humor in Love

Taglines: Thank you Neil Simon for making us laugh at falling in love…again.

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Job Opportunities in Uncertain Times

Elliot Garfield: [after hearing that his play has closed] That's okay. Now I'm free to take that other job.

Lucy McFadden: What other job?

Elliot Garfield: I'm looking, I'm looking!

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Uncertain Congratulations in Conversation

Lucy McFadden: [after Elliot's play flops] Congratulations!

Elliot Garfield: For what?

Lucy McFadden: I didn't know what else to say.

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Incense and Imagination in Everyday Life

Lucy McFadden: [upon awaking at dawn to Elliot's chanting] What's that?

Paula McFadden: Sounds like God.

Lucy McFadden: I smell strawberries burning.

Paula McFadden: That's incense.

Lucy McFadden: What's incense?

Paula McFadden: It is what I am feeling right now.

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Decency and Vulnerability in Unexpected Moments

Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.

Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

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Lease vs. Responsibility in Conflict

Elliot Garfield: I happen to have a lease in my pocket. Are you gonna honor it or what?

Paula McFadden: I have a daughter in my bedroom. That tops the lease in your pocket.

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Addressing Accusations of Misunderstanding

Elliot Garfield: You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know.

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Conflicted feelings about love and conversation

Elliot Garfield: You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate.

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First Impressions of Unconventional Beauty

Elliot Garfield: You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best half-a-face I ever saw!

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Intelligence and Insecurity in Relationships

Elliot Garfield: What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?

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Embracing Unconventional Interpretations in Theater

Elliot Garfield: *during a rehearsal of Richard III in which his director has made him play the title character as a flamboyant homosexual

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Desperation in Pursuit of a Role

Elliot Garfield: My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want this kind of performance? Let me play Lady Anne.

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Meditation and Confidence in New Beginnings

Elliot Garfield: Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am I nervous? No, I am not nervous. For I have meditated. I am relaxed. I am calm. I am confident. You, on the other hand, have not meditated, and therefore you are a pain in the ass.

Critique of a Flawed Performance in Theater

Elliot Garfield: *reading a review of his disastrous Richard III performance

Embracing Drama with Flair and Irony

Elliot Garfield: It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splendid Wicked Witch of the North." Tacky. Tacky. Well, if they're gonna kill me. Let em kill me with panache.

Charming Metaphor About Being Memorable

Elliot Garfield: If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face.

Respecting Boundaries in Shared Living Spaces

Elliot Garfield: *after being told not to bring any female guests into the apartment

Embracing Unconventional Choices and Preferences

Elliot Garfield: I will bring home anyone or anything I chose including a one-eyed Episcopalian Kangaroo if that happens to be my kinky inclination.

Elliot's Nighttime Routine and Personal Preferences

Elliot Garfield: I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed.