The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) - Quotes

Curiosity and Greetings in the Office

Buzz the Elevator Operator: [to Norville entering the elevator; laughs; Mussburger enters the elevator] Say, buddy! Where'd ya get the new duds? And say, buddy! How'd old bucketbutt like his Blue Letter? Did he bust a gut? Did he die? Did he - Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger, sir...

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Stitching Preferences in Tailoring Discussion

Luigi: Mr. Moose-burger, I give-a you pants a nice-a dooble stitch, eh? Make em strong, and they look-a real sharp.

Sidney J. Mussburger: No, single stitch is fine.

Luigi: But the double stitch will last forever.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Why on earth would I want a double stitch? To pad your account? Single stitch is fine.

Luigi: Ah, what the heck. Mr. Moose-burger is such a nice man, I'm gonna give him a double stitch anyway. That's some strong stitch, you bet.

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A Conversation on Education and Background

Sidney J. Mussburger: Let's get to know one another, shall we? Let's chat man to man. Now you're from the basement, aren't you? And weren't blessed with much... education?

Norville Barnes: Well, I am college graduate.

Sidney J. Mussburger: But you didn't excel in your studies?

Norville Barnes: Well, I made the Dean's List.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Oh.

Norville Barnes: At the Muncie College of Business Administration.

Sidney J. Mussburger: [laughs] Oh. And your friends called you "jerk" didn't they?

Norville Barnes: No.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Dope? Dipstick? Lamebrain? Schmoe? Not even behind you back?

Norville Barnes: No, as a matter of fact they voted me most likely to succeed.

Sidney J. Mussburger: You're fired.

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A Tense Exchange of Ideas at Hudsucker

Sidney J. Mussburger: This better be good. I'm in a bad mood.

Norville Barnes: [Shows him the drawing of the circle, but sees that it's upside down and flips it over] Well, sir. I've got something for you from the mailroom, but first if I could just take a minute or so from your very valuable time to show you a little something I've been working on for the last two or three years. . You know, for kids! Which is perfect for Hudsucker not that I claim to be any great genius; like they say, inspiration is ninty-nine percent perspiration, and in my case I'd say it's at least twice that, but I gotta tell ya, Mr. Mussburger, sir, this sweet baby-

Sidney J. Mussburger: Wait a minute!

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Appointment Uncertainty at the Reception Desk

Norville Barnes: Hullo.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Norville Barnes: Uhh, no, I...

Receptionist: [takes out a huge book] Shall we look in the book, hmmm?

Norville Barnes: No, ma'am, ya see, I...

Receptionist: We don't seem to be in the book...

Norville Barnes: I wouldn't be in the book.

Receptionish: If we had an appointment, we'd be in the book...

Norville Barnes: [Takes out the Blue Letter] I know but ya see I have this, uh, oh here it is.

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Office Interaction in The Hudsucker Proxy

Buzz: Mr. Kline, up to nine. Mrs. Dell, personnel. Mr. Levin's thirty-seven.

Mr. Levin: Thirty-six.

Buzz: Walk down! Ladies and gentlemen, step to the rear; here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier.

Mr. Grier: Buzz.

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Dealing with Oversized Envelopes at Work

Norville Barnes: Say, what do you do when the envelopes too big for the slot?

Ancient Sorter: Well, if you fold em, they fire ya. I usually throw em out.

Norville Barnes: Just got hired today.

Ancient Sorter: [coldy] Terrific.

Norville Barnes: You know, entry level.

Ancient Sorter: Tell me about it.

Norville Barnes: But I've got big ideas.

Ancient Sorter: I'm sure you do.

Norville Barnes: [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper; Ancient Sorter looks at Norville, confused] For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids.

Ancient Sorter: Terrific.

Norville Barnes: So, it sees how I won't be working in the mailroom long.

Ancient Sorter: No, I don't guess you will be.

Norville Barnes: How long you been here?

Ancient Sorter: Forty-eight years. Next year they move me up to parcels... if I'm lucky.

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Questioning Choices in Difficult Situations

Sidney J. Mussburger: [[w:Montecristo (cigar)|Montecristo] It's a pity to waste a whole ].

Board Member 1: He could have opened the window.

Board Member 2: Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way.

Myron Addison: [crying] Yeah, but why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well.

Sidney J. Mussburger: What am I, a head shrinker? Maybe the man was unhappy.

Myron Addison: He didn't look unhappy.

Board Member 4: He didn't look rich.

Board Member 5: Waring Hudsucker was never an easy man to figure out. He built this company with his bare hands, every step he took was a step up... except of course this last one.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure, he was a swell fella. But when the president, chairman of the board, and owner of eighty-seven precent of the company stock drops... forty-four floors...

Board Member 6: Forty-five!

Board Member 7: Counting the mezzanine.

Sidney J. Mussburger: ...then the company too has a problem. Stillson, what exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock?

Stillson: Well, as you know, Hud left no will and had no family. The company bylaws are quite clear in that event. His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock and be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year following his demise.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Meaning?

Stillson: Well, meaning simply that Waring's stock, and control of the company, will be made available to the public January 1st.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Do you mean to say that any slob in a smelly T-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker's stock?

Stillson: The company bylaws are quite clear.

Myron Addison: My God, you're animals! How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt forty-five floors?

Board Member 6: Forty-four!

Board Member 7: Not counting the mezzanine.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Quit showboating, Addison, the man is gone. The question now is whether we're going to let John Q. Public just waltz in here and buy our company!

Board Member 4: What are you suggesting Sidney? Certainly we can't afford to buy an controlling interest.

Sidney J. Mussburger: Not while the stock is this strong. How soon before Hud's paper hits the market?

Board Member 8: January 1st.

Board Member 2: Thirty days.

Board Member 4: Four weeks.

Board Member 5: A month at the most!

Sidney J. Mussburger: One month... to make the blue chip investment of the century look like a round-trip ticket on the Titanic.

Board Member 7: We play up the fact that Hud is dead...

All: Long live the Hud!

Board Member 4: We depress the stock...

Board Member 5: ...to the point where we can buy back fifty percent!

Board Member 6: Fifty-one.

Board Member 7: Not counting the mezzanine.

Board Member 5: It could work!

Board Member 3: It should work.

Board Member 4: It would work!

Sidney J. Mussburger: It's working already. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder.

Board Member 6: A puppet!

Board Member 5: A proxy!

Board Member 2: A pawn!

Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around.

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Corporate Orientation and Announcement at Hudsucker

Mail Room Orienter: [Spoken/Shouted very quickly] You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!

Public Address System: [moment of silence] Attention all Hudsucker employees. Attention all Hudsucker employees. We regretfully announce that at thirty seconds after the hour of noon, Hudsucker time, Waring Hudsucker, Founder, President, and Chairman of the Board of Hudsucker Industries, merged with the infinite. To mark this occasion of corporate loss, we ask that all employees observe a moment of silent contemplation. Thank you for your kind attention. This moment has been duly-noted on your time cards and will be deducted from your pay. That is all.

Hutchinson: You! Yah, you, Barnes. You don't look busy! Think you can handle a blue letter? This letter was sent down this morning by the big guy himself! At's right, Waring Hudsucker! It's addressed to Sid Mussburger! Hudsucker's right-hand man! It's a Blue Letter! That means you put it right in Mussburger's hand. No secretaries! No receptionists! No colleagues! No excuses! MUSSBURGER!

Bumstead: No magazines. No coffee. Mussburger! I wanna see Mussburger! Or did he jump out a window too?

Smitty: [repeated line] Let's grab a highball.

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Changing Perceptions of Character Evaluation

Amy Archer: I used to think you were a swell guy. Well, to be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. But then I figured out you WERE a swell guy... A little slow, maybe, but a swell guy. Well, maybe you're not so slow, But you're not so swell either. And it looks like you're an imbecile after all!

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Unity Through Innovation and Joy

Amy Archer: Don't you remember how you used to feel about the hoop? You told me you were gonna bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America, regardless of race, creed or color. Finally there'd be a thingumajig that would bring everyone together -- even if it kept em apart, spatially.

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A Mother's Love on Payday

Amy Archer: Why he has a face only a mother could love... on payday.

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Invitation to Explore New Ideas

Amy Archer: Well, come on down here, hammerhead, and I'll show it to ya!

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Definition of Imbecile in Five Letters

Amy Archer: Moron. That's a five-letter word for "imbecile"!

Confidence in a Pulitzer Prize prediction

Amy Archer: I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!

In a Bad Mood and Expecting More

Sidney J. Mussburger: This better be good. I'm in a bad mood.

Directional Guidance in The Hudsucker Proxy

Sidney J. Mussburger: Not that way, through the door!

Encouragement for Action at Hudsucker Industries

Sidney J. Mussburger: Up! Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries.

Acceptance of Agreement

Sidney J. Mussburger: [repeated line] Sure, sure.

Elevator Operator's Witty Remarks on Hudsucker

Buzz the Elevator Operator: Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? Waring Hudsucker! Say buddy, when is a sidewalk fully dressed? When it's Waring Hudsucker! You get it buddy! It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper, it's a play on- Jesus, Joseph, and Mary! Is that a Blue Letter! Christ Almighty, why didn't you tell a guy! Hold on folk, we'll express to the top floor.

The Paradox of Time and Success

Buzz the Elevator Operator: Say, buddy, what takes fifty years to get up to the top floor and thirty seconds to get down? Waring Hudsucker! Ya get it, buddy?

Introducing Buzz the Elevator Operator

Buzz the Elevator Operator: Hiya, buddy, my name's Buzz. I got the fuzz I make the elevator do what she does.

A Tale of Highs and Lows

Moses the Clock Man: And that's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed waaay up to the forty-fourth floor of the Hudsucker Building, and then fell all the way down but didn't quite squish hisself. You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story.

Wisdom and Compassion in Leadership

Moses the Clock Man: And Norville, he went on an ruled with wisdom and compassion and started dreamin up them excitin new ideas again.

New Year Reflections in 1959

Moses the Clock Man: And so began 1959, the new year. When he learned that Norville owned the comp'ny, ol Sidney was upset at first. It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner was there because he was able to keep Sidney from harmin his ol self.

Questioning Authority and Creativity

Moses the Clock Man: [having just rammed a broom handle through a clock, thus freezing time. Line spoken to camera] Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this. But you have any better ideas?

Reflections on New Year and Hope

Moses the Clock Man: [Prologue] That's right. New York. It's 1958. Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. Come midnight it's gonna be 1959. A whole nother feelin'. The New Year. The future. Yeah ole daddy Earth fixin to start one more trip round the sun and everybody hopin this ride round be a little more giddy, a little more gay. Yep, all over town champagne corks is a-poppin'. Over in the Waldorf the big shots is dancin to the strains of Guy Lombardo. Down in Times Square the little folks is a watchin and waitin for that big ball to drop. They all tryin to catch hold of one moment of time. To be able to say "Right now! This is it! I got it!" Course by then it'll be past. But they all happy, everybody havin a good time. Well, almost everybody. They's a few lost souls floatin round out there. Now if ya'll ain't from the city, we have something here called "the rat race." Got a way of chewing folks up so that they don't want no celebrating, don't want no cheerin up, and don't care nothing bout no New Year's. Out of hope. Out of rope. Out of time. This here is Norville Barnes. That office he's steppin out of is the office of the president of Hudsucker Industries. It's his office. How'd he get so high? And why is he feelin so low? Is he really gonna do it? Is Norville really gonna jelly up the sidewalk? Well, the future, that's something you can't never tell about. But the past, that's another story.

Recognition of Achievement and Familiarity

Norville Barnes: Well look who it is. Amy Archer, Prizeter Pule winner.

Unexpected Reactions to Unforeseen Events

Norville Barnes: I wasn't expecting all this hoopla. You can quote me on that.

A Call to Battle for Muncie

Norville Barnes: Fight on! Fight on dear old Muncie! Fight on hoist the gold and blue! You'll be tattered, torn, and hurtin once the Munc is done with you! Gooooooooooooo Eagles!

Innovative Creation for Children’s Success

Norville Barnes: [Shows a drawn circle on a piece of paper] For instance, take a look at this sweet baby. I developed it myself. Yessirie, this is my big ticket upstairs. You know, for kids.