The Longest Yard poster

The Longest Yard Quotes

"It's survival of the fiercest and funniest"

R 1974 · 2h 1m
68
Audience
68
Audience
15 quotes
Importance of Protecting the Quarterback
Paul Crewe The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!
Prison Hustles and Unexpected Offers
Paul Crewe Whattya got for me, Sunshine?
Caretaker I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want. You name it. I'm the best hustler in the joint.
Paul Crewe How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?
Nate Scarboro He can get you laid in here... with a woman.
Struggling with Burdens Despite Having Control
Paul Crewe You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it.
Consequences of Betraying Team Trust
Caretaker Most of these old boys don't have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let your teammates down, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
Paul Oh I did, did I?
Caretaker Oh, I ain't saying you did or you didn't. All I'm saying is that you could have robbed banks, sold dope or stole your grandmother's pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off of a football game, man that's un-American.
First Down and a Decade Ahead
Taglines First Down...And Ten Years To Go.
Authority and Control in a Hostile Environment
Captain Knauer Dammit, Warden, I think this game's a big mistake.
Warden Hazen Captain, not only will you have the chance to hone our team to a fine edge, you'll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life. Why is it, do you suppose, that I can walk through this yard, surrounded by hate, and in total command?
Captain Knauer Because you've got 15 gun turrets all around you that say you can.
Assessing Prospects Against Professional Teams
Warden Hazen How do you think we'd do against the pros?
Paul Crewe That team against the pros?
Warden Hazen Yeah.
Paul Crewe Well, you'd have a real problem.
Warden Hazen Well, how do you think we'd do against the cons?
Questioning Intentions in a Serious Game
Paul You take your football down here real serious, don't you?
Caretaker You mind if I ask you one question?
Paul Yes, I do mind!
Caretaker Why did you do it?
Paul It's a long story.
Caretaker Well, I got eight years.
Tackling Strategy in Unconventional Play
Granville Alright men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead. Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth.
The Value of Resilience and Courage
Paul Crewe Nate, if you're thinking about winning this game, then you're as crazy as he is.
Nate Scarboro Well, maybe so. But you spend fourteen years in this tank, you begin to understand that you've only got two thing left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you. Your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.
Survival of the Fiercest and Funniest
Taglines It's Survival of the Fiercest and Funniest
Introduction of Characters and Their Backgrounds
Paul Crewe What's his name?
Caretaker Indian.
Paul Crewe That makes sense.
Paul Crewe Paul Crewe. Heard you played some football.
The Indian Yeah.
Paul Crewe Where?
The Indian Oklahoma State.
Paul Crewe Oklahoma State U?
The Indian Prison.
Paul Crewe Well, first thing we have to do is get you out of here.
The Indian How?
Paul Crewe Well, we'll work on it.
Regret in the Face of Authority
Paul Crewe You know, there's only one thing I'm sorry about.
Warden Hazen What's that, Mr. Crewe?
Paul Crewe That you're not out here with us knockin heads.
Warden Hazen I'm afraid I'm a little old for that.
Paul Crewe No, you never had the guts to begin with!
Injury Report: Broken Neck Confirmed
Samson I think I broke his fuckin neck!
Announcer I think he broke his fuckin neck!
Team doctor One side, one side. Get the ambulance! I think he broke his fuckin neck.
[Examines injured player]
Samson See! I told you I broke his fuckin neck!
Introduction to a Notorious Character
Caretaker Well, there he is. Connie Shokner, baddest cat in the joint. Even the guards are scared of him. He killed three people on the outside and two since he's been in here.
Paul Crewe Yeah, that karate's some bad stuff.
Caretaker Oh, that was before he learned karate.
Paul Crewe Say, what's he doing now?
Caretaker Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.