15 quotes
Siblings Consider a Bold Plan to Switch Places
Susan Evers
You want to meet Father. And I'm just dying to know Mother. Well, what if... Oh my gosh! It might be so scary that we might be able to pull it off.
Sharon McKendrick
Pull what off?
Susan Evers
Switch places!
Sharon McKendrick
Switch?
Susan Evers
We can do it. We're twins, aren't we? Oh, I'm want to know Mother! Look, now I'M getting goosebumps!
Sharon McKendrick
Me, too. You know something? There's more to it than just switching places. I believe fate brought us together.
Susan Evers
How so?
Sharon McKendrick
If we switched, sooner or later, they'd have to unswitch us.
Susan Evers
Mother would have to bring me to California to unmix us.
Sharon McKendrick
And they'd have to meet again.
Susan Evers
Face-to-face. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Sharon McKendrick
Exactly.
Susan Evers
Let's go to work!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expressions of Affection and Reflection
Mitch Evers
Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Ah...
[to brush it off]
Mitch Evers
No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all?
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Mitch?
Mitch Evers
What?
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
You've got stew all over you.
Mitch Evers
I don't care.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Go and wash it off. What do you miss?
[pause]
Mitch Evers
Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without you Maggie, I miss a lot of things... I guess I just miss you!
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Why did you take so long to tell me?
Mitch Evers
I don't know... Well because, cause I guess I was hoping that you'd come back sometime. Maggie, I've been the prize chump of the world. We've both been. We're going to grow into a couple of old lonely people if we don't do something about it.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
I know.
Mitch Evers
You don't want that, do you?
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
No, Mitch.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh Mitch, it's been so long... so very long.
Mitch Evers
Don't cry. Listen, you can slug me in the eye anytime you want.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Okay!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child's Frustration with Parental Actions
Susan Evers
I don't think I'll be able to do any of those today.
[as Sharon]
Grandmother
What did you say?
[surprised]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Sharon! You interrupted your grandmother.
Susan Evers
Well I have something important to tell you. Mother, I think what you and Daddy did to us children is lousy! In fact, I think it stinks!
[emphatically]
Grandmother
Sharon!
Susan Evers
And let's get this straight, I'm not Sharon, I'm Susan. Sharon, your Sharon, is out in California with Daddy.
[approaching Grandmother; facing her mother]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
But it's impossible!
Grandmother
You can't be Susan.
Susan Evers
But I AM Susan. Sharon and I met at camp, so we decided to switch places. She bit off her fingernails and I cut her hair, and now she's out in California with Dad, swimming and riding my horse and having a KEEN time and I'm stuck here with these lousy music lessons and I HATE them!
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Susan!
[staring as if too good to be true]
Susan Evers
Oh I'm sorry, Mother. But I wanted to see you, and I missed not having a mother. I love you very much, and I wondered, if you could love me as me and not as Sharon. Please?
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh Susan! Oh my darling. Why didn't you let me know? Why didn't you tell me?
[she hugs Susan]
Susan Evers
I couldn't help it. I mean, I wanted to be near you and to know what it was like to have a mother and everything.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh, Baby.
[they hug again]
Grandmother
Susan, darling! Let me look at you. She's EXACTLY ...
[getting up and hugging Susan; to Maggie]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
I know, I can't believe it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Relationships Between Generations
Vicky Robinson
You're a big girl now, Susan. You're old enough to understand that wonderful, delicate mystery that happens sometimes between a man and a woman.
Sharon McKendrick
I know what wonderful, delicate mystery Daddy sees in you. And I can't say I blame him there, either. You're very nicely put together.
Vicky Robinson
Your father underestimates you, I think.
Sharon McKendrick
I'm sure you won't, will you, Vicky?
Vicky Robinson
Susan, dear, you've had him to yourself all this time, and I can understand that suddenly to have another woman around, well, it's a tremendous intrusion. But all my life, it seemed, I've hoped and waited for someone like him: someone gentle and mature, rough-edged, but quick to laugh, someone understanding and wise. All the things that I've come to love and cherish in him.
Sharon McKendrick
Well, that's very refreshing.
Vicky Robinson
Why, dear?
Sharon McKendrick
Most girls just run after Daddy because he's so wealthy.
Vicky Robinson
Are you inferring that I'd marry your father for his money?
[angrily]
Sharon McKendrick
If the shoe fits, wear it!
Vicky Robinson
Look, pet. I've tried to be friendly, but I'm going to marry your father, so you get used to the idea!
Sharon McKendrick
You wanna bet?
Vicky Robinson
Oh, honey, don't you play with the big girls. You'll be in way over your head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Personal Identity
The Evers-McKendrick Family
Maggie (wife)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Camp Inch and Miss Inch
Miss Inch
Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals. I am your supreme commander here. My name is... Miss Inch. Oh, yes, Miss Inch.
[reading from index cards; turns to the next card and continues reading; frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Anticipating the Freedom of Teenage Years
Susan Evers
How old are you?
Sharon McKendrick
Thirteen.
Susan Evers
So am I. I can't wait till I'm eighteen and get my own car and stay out dancing till midnight.
Sharon McKendrick
I'll be fourteen November 12th.
Susan Evers
No kiddin'? That's my birthday too.
Sharon McKendrick
Isn't that peculiar? November 12th?
Susan Evers
Um huh. Funny, isn't it?
Susan Evers
Uh oh. This one's full. Hey! What do ya know? It's stopped raining.
[Gets up off the bed; Looking around]
Sharon McKendrick
What is your mother like?
[Both outside sitting on the step]
Susan Evers
I can't remember her.
Sharon McKendrick
Did she die?
Susan Evers
Nope. Busted up with Dad when I was young. But she was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous!
Sharon McKendrick
How do you know?
Susan Evers
There used to be a picture of her on Daddy's desk. But once he caught me looking at it and it's never been around since. Hey! You wanna come to the commissary and get a popsicle with me?
Sharon McKendrick
Can you only think about your stomach at a time like this?
Susan Evers
At a time like what?
Sharon McKendrick
Don't you feel it? Don't you know what's happening? Don't you find it peculiar that we both look so much alike, and have the same birthday?
Susan Evers
It's just one of those things. Isn't it?
Sharon McKendrick
Will you come inside a minute? Please?
Sharon McKendrick
Mother always says I'm psychic. You know, that I can sense things when something odd is going to happen. I always get goosebumps. Look.
[Back inside]
Susan Evers
So what?
Susan Evers
I don't understand. What are you doing with her picture?
Sharon McKendrick
It's my mother.
Susan Evers
But it's my mother too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Missed Opportunities in Relationships
Verbena
You didn't know what a good thing you had when you had it.
Mitch Evers
Huh?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Among Campers and Authority Figures
Miss Inch
Congratulations. In the history of our camp, that was the most infamous, the most revolting, the most disgusting display of hooliganism we have ever had.
Miss Grunecker
Brawling like hooligans in front of our guests.
Miss Inch
And worst of all, two sisters who should be setting a good example.
Susan Evers
We're not sisters!
Sharon McKendrick
I've never seen HER before in my life.
Miss Inch
They are! Aren't they?
Miss Grunecker
No ma'am. Just look-alikes.
Miss Inch
An amazing resemblance.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Resemblance and Identity
Ursala
The nerve of her! Coming here with your face!
Betsy
What are you gonna do about it?
Susan Evers
Do? What in heaven's sake can I do, silly?
Betsy
I'd bite off her nose. Then she wouldn't look like you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Twin Sisters Share a Unique Bond
The Evers-McKendrick Family
Sharon & Susan (twin daughters)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heartfelt Reunion and Compliment
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh, it was just wonderful!
Sharon McKendrick
Mother! Oh, I'm so glad you came! Oh! You look wonderful! What'd you do to yourself?
[coming down the stairs; Sharon and Maggie hug]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Do you like it?
Sharon McKendrick
Oh, I love it!
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh darling! Oh! Finally! Both of you together at last. What do you think of each other?
[Maggie hugs Sharon again]
Sharon McKendrick
Fine.
Susan Evers
We love each other!
Sharon McKendrick
Hi, Sue.
Susan Evers
Hi.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh and just look at you! That short hair.
[Addressing Sharon]
Susan Evers
I cut it, Mother.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
You know, I like it.
Sharon McKendrick
Oh, and I love yours, Mother.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Where's your father?
Sharon McKendrick
Oh, he's out somewhere on a horse.
Susan Evers
Are we in time?
[to Sharon]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Time?
[to Susan]
Sharon McKendrick
Didn't you tell her?
[to Susan; Susan shakes her head, no]
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Tell me what?
Susan Evers
Well ...
Sharon McKendrick
Dad's getting married.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Well. When is all this taking place?
Verbena
Saturday, supposedly.
[Maggie looks away, anxiously]
Sharon McKendrick
She just sort of infiltrated, Mother. And before you knew it, Dad was hooked.
Verbena
If you ask me, Mr. Evers is slipping into his second childhood.
Margaret Maggie McKendrick
Oh your father is old enough to know what he's doing. Shall we go upstairs and get unpacked? I'm just dying to get into a hot shower after that long plane trip.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tent Dispute Between Sisters
Sharon McKendrick
Serves you right. Stay out of our tent from now on.
[outside the dance with her roommates]
Susan Evers
You vicious little wretch!
[Susan slaps Sharon and Sharon slaps her back]
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A Plan of Mischief and Frustration
Ursala
I know! We'll wait until she comes over here and when she's not looking we'll dump ants down her dress!
Betsy
Where are we gonna find ants at night, stupid?
Ursala
Ooo, just thinking about it makes me so mad I could just spit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cherishing Memories of Loved Ones
Charles McKendrick
My dear, what are you doing?
[Susan starts sniffing the coat he is wearing]
Susan Evers
Making a memory.
Charles McKendrick
Making a memory?
Susan Evers
All my life, when I'm quite grown-up I will always remember my grandfather and how he smelled of... tobacco and peppermint.
[smells his jacket again]
Charles McKendrick
Smelled of tobacco and peppermint. Well, I'll tell you what. I take the peppermint for my indigestion and as for the tobacco... to make your grandmother mad.
[starts chuckling; looks around]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.