The Quick and the Dead (1995) - Quotes

John Herod: You're not fast enough for me!

Ellen: [after Herod accepts the Kid's challenge] You would fight your own son? I'm gonna kill you if I have to ride all the way to Hell to do it.

John Herod: Do you have some particular problem with me?

Ellen: I'll let you know.

John Herod: I said, are you still fast?!

Cort: Faster than you.

Cort: Last night, The Kid. Tonight, Herod. You're a busy woman. Any man in this town you're not interested in?

Ellen: Yeah: you.

John Herod: I could give you more money than you could ever spend.

Ellen: I wouldn't feel like I'd earned it.

John Herod: Oh yes, you would.

Ellen: Thought a man like you would have a woman.

John Herod: I was married, to a beautiful woman. She was unfaithful.

Ellen: Where is she now?

John Herod: I told you, she was unfaithful.

John Herod: Mr. Hanlon, I wanted to ask you about Indian Wells. Did that fight really take place?

Ace Hanlon: [combing his mustache] Sure did.

John Herod: Then it's true that you gunned down four men?

Ace Hanlon: Two with my left hand, two with my right hand. You see, the truth is that I am just as good with either.

John Herod: You must be the fastest gun in the west. That, or the biggest liar.

Ace Hanlon: It's a pity you weren't there to find out.

John Herod: Oh, but I was, Ace. You see, I was the one that really killed the Terrence brothers. And I doubt if a lying little chickenshit like you was even in the same state!

John Herod: How about that left hand, Ace? How about that left-handed draw?

John Herod: [draws both pistols; shoots twice, barely missing Ace's feet; shoots twice again; guns Ace down] Mr. Ace Hanlon, the scourge of the sagebrush! The terror of Tucson! A bladder full of hot air!

The Kid:: That gun shoots straight. I wouldn't sell it if it didn't.

Cort: It's okay, Kid. I won't draw.

Ellen: Don't you even want to fight back?

Cort: Sure. I'd like to kill them all for what they've done. But I won't. Killing people is wrong.

Ellen: Some people deserve to die.

Ellen: In case you forgot preacher, I saved your life last night.

Cort: No, I think you just stretched it out a bit. I might've even gone to heaven if you'd let me die.

Ellen: Sorry.

Ellen: Sign me up!

Horace: No women in quick draw! It's against the rules!

John Herod: No rule against ladies. It's just that women can't shoot for shit!

The Kid: I'm worth $3,000 in four states. Seventy-five offenses and no convictions. My name's Fee but, uh ... everyone calls me the Kid.

Ellen: Congratulations.

The Kid: I'm so damned fast I can wake up at the crack of dawn, rob two banks, a train and a stage coach, shoot the tail feathers off a duck's ass at 300 feet, and still be back in bed before you wake up next to me.

Cantrell: Sergeant Cantrell.

Horace: How do you spell that?

Cantrell: Correctly.

Scars: You're purty.

Ellen: You're not.

Scars: I need a woman.

Ellen: You need a bath.

Blind Boy: John Herod owns that house. He gets 50 cents of every dollar in this town.

Ellen: What's the town get?

Blind Boy: Heh. They gets to live.

Ace Hanlon: [shuffling a deck of cards] You wanna play poker with me, little lady?

Ellen: Looks like you're having a pretty good time playing with yourself.

Ace Hanlon: [fans it; most of the cards are aces] This is a very special pack. See, I put an ace in every time I kill a man.

Ellen: [walking up behind Horace, who's standing on a stool with his back to the door] How about a room?

Horace: Whores next door.

Ellen: Say that again.

Horace: I said whores next door.

Ellen: [kicks the stool out from under him] : Now, do you have a room available?

Horace: Uh, room and bath, yes ma'am. Coming up!

Dog Kelly: I am going to kill you, bitch!

Townsman: We're gonna have to bury this old man deep. He stinks something awful.

Ratsy: [throwing Cort into The Kid's gun shop] And that concludes the lessons for the day.

Spotted Horse: [showing off old gunshot wounds] Spotted Horse cannot be killed by a bullet! See! I've taken four bullets in my arm, three in my left leg, one in my right, and two bullets in the back. Another bullet went through my lip. Another bullet went through my left foot. And another bullet went into my head today, here, and has not even come out yet!

Cort: Sorry, John. Changed the rules. From now on, all the fights are fair.

Cort: There's a click before the strike. Listen to the clock.

John Herod: [To Ellen, during dinner; chuckles bitterly] My father was a judge. That surprised you. He used to make my mother and me watch people being hanged, for our improvement. One day, he said there was too much bad in this world. He took a bullet, put it in his gun, spun the chamber, and took it in turns clicking it at each of us – – until he finally blew the back of his head off with the final click. Understand this. There is nothing on this earth that frightens me now. Nothing.

John Herod: Like I always say – put a fox in the henhouse and you'll have chicken for dinner every time.

John Herod: [After shooting and wounding Cantrell; Shoots the gun on Cantrell's belt before he can draw it; Cantrell raises his gun; Herod kills him with a headshot] I'm confused. All I hear from you, you spineless cowards, is how poor you are; how you can't afford my taxes, my protection. And yet somehow, you've all managed to find the money to hire a professional gunfighter to kill me. Where's all this money coming from? What am I to think? If you got so much to spare, I'm just gonna have to take some more off you. Because you clearly haven't got the message! This is my town! If you live to see the dawn, it's because I allow it! I'm in charge of everything! I decide who lives or who dies! Your gunfighter's dead. Old news.

John Herod: You must be the fastest gun in the west. That or the biggest liar!

John Herod: The rules say you have to accept every challenge. You got a problem with that, scuttle your butt out of town.

The Kid: Shit, that was fast.

The Kid: The gunfight is in the head, not the hands.

The Kid: Is it possible? Is it possible to improve on perfection?

The Kid: [Showing off guns for sale in his shop] This here's the Eagle Butt Peacemaker. Solid ivory handle, Mexican emblem. Only thirty of these ever made. This is the, uh, customized Remington New Model Army .44. It's probably more accurate than your Colt. I had the wooden handles removed and replaced with solid silver. Used with great success on, um, thirty-s...naw, thirty-five bank robberies by its late owner. And this? This is the best help a man can get. The Smith and Wesson Schofield .45. Just meat and potatoes. Me and Jesse James think it's the best handgun in the world. I had the trigger guard removed, it saves drawin time. Don't ever wear it when you're drunk, or you'll kill your feet.

The Kid: Am I fast, or is Sweden just a very small place? Tell me now!

Ellen: You stole my life.

Ellen: Some people deserve to die.