The Watch Quotes

Jamarcus Nice to meet you.

Manfred Fuck you, curly!

Franklin Fawcett You don't fuck with Bob! You show Bob respect. Bob's my special guy. That's right! That's right. That just happened. You don't tell your parents about this. You don't tell your friends about this. You write it in your dream journal. You lock it up and put it under your pillow. I will come back here and I will kill each and every one of you! Except for those two hot girls I was talking to. They have my information, please have them get in contact with me. They seam great.

Franklin Fawcett Lock and load, bitches! Anything from outer space, kill it!

Bob When are you gonna take the plunge and knock a few out?

Evan Well, it's not that simple.

Bob Well, it's about as simple as putting your dick in a vagina. You know what I mean? Make it happen.

Franklin Fawcett Welcome to candyshop, motherfuckers!

Manfred Salisbury Neighborhood watch. What a fucking joke!

Bob McAllister That is the best 2300 bucks I ever spent. I got it at a place called relaxtheback.com. It's like Toys-R-Us for your ass and back.

Franklin Fawcett Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level.

Franklin Fawcett Fuckin alien came on my face.

Jason Is it true your dad ripped off your last boyfriend's dick?

Chelsea Yep.

Jamarcus Can I just say, Bob, that these are the shits?

Franklin Just "the shit.

Jamarcus These are just shit.

Bob What the fuck is he doing here?

Evan It's ok he saved us!

Franklin Ya he came in here jackin dicks left and right.

Jamarcus Perkins It's OK. Touch my goo, Bob!

Evan Trautwig You've been planning an alien invasion... in my Costco?

Bob McAllister Here's the best case scenario: he's a lonely old man, he wants to waltz, he wants to listen to some of the old songs from his childhood. Worst case scenario: you're getting fucked in the ass.

Bob You know what, pal? If being overly aggressive and a little bit snippy was a crime, I'd be making a citizen's arrest right now.

Manfred Why don't you just shut your cocksucker there, dickweed?

Evan Wait a second. I've seen this stuff before.

Franklin Had you just won a Kids choice award?

Bob McAllister Singing was their hobby. Closing ass was their job.

Jamarcus I have this one scenario in my mind. I kinda hope it plays out like this: young, sexy, Asian housewife, alone at night, frightened. A noise out by the trash cans. Best call the neighborhood watch. I show up, look heroic, and then... get this - she sucks my balls.

Franklin I'm also interested in that happening to me.