The World According to Garp (1982) - Quotes

T. S. Garp: Remember, Helen.

Helen Holm: What, my love?

T. S. Garp: Everything.

Helen Holm: Yes, my love.

Randy: Hey you! Dildo. Is this the nut house where you're keeping my Laurel?

Roberta: Laurel's here but we're not exactly keeping her.

Randy: Bullshit, ya big dyke.

Roberta: I'm not a dyke. Is Laurel expecting you?

Randy: I'll kill you douchebag.

Roberta: That's all you men understand is violence.

Randy: Now look. I know what sort of freaks hang around here. It's a big lesbian scene.

Randy: Ooooh, oooh, what are you the man of the house or the court eunuch. Laurel, you in there you bitch?!

Jenny Fields: Hello.

Randy: Oh, I know who you are. My Laurel's not your type sweetie.

Jenny Fields: Perhaps she's not your type either.

Randy: Listen, goddammit. If you don't get Laurel's ass out here I'm gonna...

Laurel: Randy!

Jenny Fields: Are you alright?

Laurel: Baby, you found me.

Randy: Oh, I don't think I can drive the fuckin car.

Laurel: [to Jenny] That's alright. I can drive you just never let me. I guess Randy needs me.

Randy: Easy!

Laurel: Sorry baby, I'm sorry.

Randy: Crazy dyke blind-sided me.

Jenny Fields: [while telling Dean Bodger and her son about his father, who was a brain damaged WW2 veteran with spontaneous erections she was the nurse of] Where was I?

T. S. Garp: He kept having erections.

Jenny Fields: Thank you. He was dying. I wanted a child. It was a good way to have one without the bother of a husband around... who had legal rights to my body. So, one night at work... when the wounded and maimed were all asleep, I went to him. He was asleep. But his erection was there, as always. I removed my undergarments and climbed on top of him. He woke up then. He said the only word other than his name that I ever heard him utter. He said, "good." It didn't take very long, and that once was all that was needed.

Dean Bodger: You raped him! You raped a dying man!

Roberta: I mean, I had mine removed surgically under general anesthesia. But to have it bitten off in a Buick...

Jenny Fields: It's lust!

Jenny Fields: [noticing scantily clad prostitutes] Is that the latest fashion?

T. S. Garp: No, Mom, that's the oldest profession.

Walt: Daddy what's gradual school?

T. S. Garp: What?

Walt: Gradual school. Mommy say's she teaches at gradual school.

T. S. Garp: Oh Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

Jenny Fields: Are you gonna go to sleep or you gonna stay up and think your weird thoughts?

Young Garp: I'll stay up and think weird thoughts for a while.

Roberta Muldoon: [telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man killed her! They're very upset!

Jenny Fields: You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life.

T. S. Garp: Men die young in my family, Helen!

T. S. Garp: [to his infant son in baby carriage; Duncan blows raspberry at Garp] Don't be a baby, Duncan! Say da-da!

T. S. Garp: We'll take the house. Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here.

T. S. Garp: [after being told he shouldn't go to his Mom's feminist memorial] I will grieve alone for the rest of my life, but right now I want to be around people who loved her.