Training Day (2001) - Quotes

Alonzo: I'm gonna get that gun and then Imma get that money. And you ain't gonna do a damn thing, cause you ain't gonna shoot no cop in the back, are you?

Jake: [Cocks gun] Don't do it.

Alonzo: You know what they give you for that? The gas chamber. You know what the gas chamber smells like? Pine oil. That's where you headed, boy. To pine oil heaven.

Alonzo: [''After catching Blue in the back of a Korean store after a chase, forcefully pressing a pen down Blue's throat causing him to vomit the crack rocks he was hiding in his stomach''] What's that?

Blue: Motherfucking crack, man.

Alonzo: ['''Pops out a bullet''] That's right, Jimmy Crack Corn. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, you're federally fucked now. You got crack... and a gun. You know with your record you can get 10 years per bullet? Now you gon gimme a name. That's 10 right there.

Blue: Come on, man. You know I ain't no snitch, man.

Alonzo: [''Removes bullet''] I know you ain't no snitch. Gimme a name. That's 20.

Blue: Fuck!

Alonzo: [''Pops out a bullet''; ''Pops out a bullet''] Gimme a name. That's 30 years. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

Blue: He in the county!

Alonzo: Who?

Blue: Nigga named Sandman. That's all the fuck I know, man! Shit!

Alonzo: [''Pops out a bullet''] See how easy that was?

Blue: I'm sick of this shit, man.

Alonzo: You wanna collect the evidence?

Jake: Fuck that.

Alonzo: My nigga.

Blue: [''Wheels up in a wheelchair to Alonzo's vehicle''] What you need, homey?

Jake Hoyt: [[w:crack cocaine|Crack] ]. 20 bucks worth.

Blue: [''Looks at Alonzo''; ''Wheels away in a chase with Alonzo and Jake in pursuit''] Crack? Smells like bacon in this muthafucka! What I look like, a sucka to you, nigga?! Fuck you, rookie!

Alonzo: It behooves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...

Jake: What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Alonzo: Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?

Jake: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.

Alonzo: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.

Jake: I told you, I'm *not* gonna take that money.

Alonzo: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.

Jake: *Fuck* their feelings.

Alonzo: You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.

Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?

Alonzo: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Alonzo Harris: Left that out your service jacket. Yeah, I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know you liked to get wet, dog.

Jake Hoyt: What's "wet"?

Alonzo Harris: Butt-naked. Ill. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what you had. That's what you were smoking, you couldn't taste it?

Jake Hoyt: No, I've never done it.

Alonzo Harris: You have now. I haven't, but you have.

Jake Hoyt: Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Man, I'm gonna get piss-tested, and then I'm gonna get fired!

Alonzo Harris: Lieutenant's got our back. We know a week before we piss.

Jake Hoyt: Oh, shit. Shit!

Alonzo Harris: Boom!

Jake Hoyt: Why did you do this to me?

Alonzo Harris: Nobody told you to smoke that thing. You made the decision. Live with your decision. Ain't like I put a gun to your head.

Alonzo Harris: But I don't believe you. You tapped that ass didn't you. You did! You put her in the back seat- BAM- Code X!

Hoyt: Nah man, I got a wife.

Alonzo Harris: You got a dick. You do have a dick, don't you? OK, the dick lines up straight like that right? To the right of it and to the left of it are pockets, right? In those pockets are money. Look in either one of em - pay the bill.

Hoyt: This car is NOT from the motor pool.

Alonzo Harris: No it's not. Sexy though, isn't it?

Blue: [''Flees in wheelchair''] Smells like bacon in this muthafucka! What I look like, a sucka to you, nigga?! Fuck you, rookie!

Moreno: Hey pig, you ever had your shit pushed in? Your shit pushed in. Simple question.

Smiley: Alonzo, he's a hothead. Last week in Vegas some Russian starts talking shit and Alonzo he just snapped. Beat his ass to death. Turns out that Russian is a somebody and now Alonzo, he's into the Russians for a million.

Smiley: Three of a kind beats two pair, you fucking dumb truck.

Alonzo Harris: [Jake leaves with Alonzo's pay-off for the Russian mob; to the neighbourhood residents who turned on him, tired of his abuse; chuckles; [King Kong; laughing to himself] What? Oh, no, you didn't. Wait a minute, no, you didn't! Aye, aye, Jake! Hey! Jake! Jake! Jake, come back here! Jake! You disloyal fool-ass bitch-made-punk. Jake! I need my money! Jake! Awwww, you motherfuckers. Okay. All right. I'm putting cases on all of you bitches! Huh? You think you can do this shit? Jake! You think you can do this to me?! You motherfuckers will be playin basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you! SHU program, nigga! 23 hour lockdown! I'm the man up in this piece! You'll never see the light of-- Who the fuck do you think you fuckin with?! I'm the police! I run shit here! You just live here! Yeah, that's right, you better walk away! Go on and walk away, cause I'm gonna burn this motherfucker down! ] ain't got shit on me! That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't fuck. I'm winnin anyway. I'm winnin'. I'm winnin any motherfuckin way, I can't lose. Shit, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me. Shit! Oh, what a day! What a motherfucking day!

Alonzo Harris: Shit gets deeper... You get the picture?

Alonzo Harris: You know, I'm surgical with this bitch, Jake!

Alonzo Harris: Fuck him and everybody who looks like him.

Alonzo Harris: [singing] Oh where, oh where has my little Jake gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?

Alonzo Harris: You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

Alonzo Harris: It's not what you know; it's what you can prove.

Alonzo Harris: To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Alonzo Harris: The shit's chess, it ain't checkers!