Training Day Quotes

Alonzo I'm gonna get that gun and then Imma get that money. And you ain't gonna do a damn thing, cause you ain't gonna shoot no cop in the back, are you?

Jake Don't do it.

Alonzo You know what they give you for that? The gas chamber. You know what the gas chamber smells like? Pine oil. That's where you headed, boy. To pine oil heaven.

Alonzo It behooves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...

Jake What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Alonzo Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?

Jake That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.

Alonzo Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.

Jake I told you, I'm *not* gonna take that money.

Alonzo All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.

Jake *Fuck* their feelings.

Alonzo You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.

Jake The team? You guys are fuckin insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?

Alonzo I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Alonzo Harris Left that out your service jacket. Yeah, I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know you liked to get wet, dog.

Jake Hoyt What's "wet"?

Alonzo Harris Butt-naked. Ill. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what you had. That's what you were smoking, you couldn't taste it?

Jake Hoyt No, I've never done it.

Alonzo Harris You have now. I haven't, but you have.

Jake Hoyt Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Man, I'm gonna get piss-tested, and then I'm gonna get fired!

Alonzo Harris Lieutenant's got our back. We know a week before we piss.

Jake Hoyt Oh, shit. Shit!

Alonzo Harris Boom!

Jake Hoyt Why did you do this to me?

Alonzo Harris Nobody told you to smoke that thing. You made the decision. Live with your decision. Ain't like I put a gun to your head.

Smiley Three of a kind beats two pair, you fucking dumb truck.

Alonzo Harris You know, I'm surgical with this bitch, Jake!

Smiley Alonzo, he's a hothead. Last week in Vegas some Russian starts talking shit and Alonzo he just snapped. Beat his ass to death. Turns out that Russian is a somebody and now Alonzo, he's into the Russians for a million.

Hoyt This car is NOT from the motor pool.

Alonzo Harris No it's not. Sexy though, isn't it?

Blue What you need, homey?

Jake Hoyt ]. 20 bucks worth.

Blue Crack? Smells like bacon in this muthafucka! What I look like, a sucka to you, nigga?! Fuck you, rookie!

Moreno Hey pig, you ever had your shit pushed in? Your shit pushed in. Simple question.

Alonzo Harris Oh where, oh where has my little Jake gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?

Alonzo What's that?

Blue Motherfucking crack, man.

Alonzo That's right, Jimmy Crack Corn. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, you're federally fucked now. You got crack... and a gun. You know with your record you can get 10 years per bullet? Now you gon gimme a name. That's 10 right there.

Blue Come on, man. You know I ain't no snitch, man.

Alonzo I know you ain't no snitch. Gimme a name. That's 20.

Blue Fuck!

Alonzo Gimme a name. That's 30 years. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

Blue He in the county!

Alonzo Who?

Blue Nigga named Sandman. That's all the fuck I know, man! Shit!

Alonzo See how easy that was?

Blue I'm sick of this shit, man.

Alonzo You wanna collect the evidence?

Jake Fuck that.

Alonzo My nigga.

Alonzo Harris To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.

Blue Smells like bacon in this muthafucka! What I look like, a sucka to you, nigga?! Fuck you, rookie!

Alonzo Harris Shit gets deeper... You get the picture?

Alonzo Harris You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

Alonzo Harris The shit's chess, it ain't checkers!

Alonzo Harris What? Oh, no, you didn't. Wait a minute, no, you didn't! Aye, aye, Jake! Hey! Jake! Jake! Jake, come back here! Jake! You disloyal fool-ass bitch-made-punk. Jake! I need my money! Jake! Awwww, you motherfuckers. Okay. All right. I'm putting cases on all of you bitches! Huh? You think you can do this shit? Jake! You think you can do this to me?! You motherfuckers will be playin basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you! SHU program, nigga! 23 hour lockdown! I'm the man up in this piece! You'll never see the light of-- Who the fuck do you think you fuckin with?! I'm the police! I run shit here! You just live here! Yeah, that's right, you better walk away! Go on and walk away, cause I'm gonna burn this motherfucker down! ] ain't got shit on me! That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't fuck. I'm winnin anyway. I'm winnin'. I'm winnin any motherfuckin way, I can't lose. Shit, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me. Shit! Oh, what a day! What a motherfucking day!

Alonzo Harris It's not what you know; it's what you can prove.

Alonzo Harris Fuck him and everybody who looks like him.

Alonzo Harris But I don't believe you. You tapped that ass didn't you. You did! You put her in the back seat- BAM- Code X!

Hoyt Nah man, I got a wife.

Alonzo Harris You got a dick. You do have a dick, don't you? OK, the dick lines up straight like that right? To the right of it and to the left of it are pockets, right? In those pockets are money. Look in either one of em - pay the bill.