32 quotes
Questioning Intelligence in Unusual Situations
Earl Bassett
I ask ya: Is this a job for an intelligent man?
[''pricks his hand while setting up a fence'']
Valentine McKee
Well, show me one. I'll ask him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cautionary Advice on Vehicle Maintenance
Earl Bassett
Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.
[''Valentine has just freed the truck from a hangup, after a struggle'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning Ahead for Future Success
Valentine McKee
We plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now, Earl explained it to me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion in Unexplained Circumstances
Valentine McKee
What the hell is going on? I mean what the hell is going on?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions and Empty Threats
Melvin Plug
Burt, you asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!
[discovering the gun Burt gave him is empty]
Burt Gummer
Got you moving, didn't it?
[taking the gun back with a smile]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Burt Gummer Distrusts Sharing Weapons
Burt Gummer
I wouldn't give you a gun if it were World War Three!
[''handing out weapons and refusing to give Melvin one'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Search for the source of the sound
Valentine McKee
So where the hell's that goddamn golden oldie comin from?
[''hearing music from below ground'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation and Consequences in Tremors
Earl Bassett
Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of a Solid Plan
Earl Bassett
Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the Definition of a Stampede
Valentine McKee
STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
Earl Bassett
You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
[''waking up'']
Valentine McKee
Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to pede?
Earl Bassett
I wish they'd stampede up your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of a Hidden Location
Valentine McKee
Hey guys, I think I've found the ass end!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Valentine's Take on the Valley's Abundance
Valentine McKee
This valley is just one long smorgasbord.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hidden Threats Beneath the Surface
Valentine McKee
That's how they get ya. They're under the goddamned GROUND!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Urgency in Tremors
Valentine McKee
GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
[''to Rhonda'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Burt Gummer Questions Absence of Evidence
Burt Gummer
No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump some place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Surprise in Tremors
Valentine McKee
What the shit?
[''looking at Old Fred's messed-up corral with chunks of dead sheep lying on the ground'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning Ahead in Uncertain Times
Earl Bassett
Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Earl's Frustration with a Comedic Twist
Earl Bassett
You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be shittin this basketball... pardon my French!
[''To Melvin after he scares Earl by throwing his basketball at him'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expertise in Garbage Management
Valentine McKee
I'll tell you. Nobody handles garbage better than we do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Earl Bassett's Expressive Apology
Earl Bassett
Pardon my French!
[''repeated line'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation in the Face of Oblivion
Earl Bassett
Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixby's already dead.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation in the Rec Room
Burt Gummer
Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya you bastard!
[''Burt Gummer, with his wife Heather at his side, berates the dead monster fought off with their "family arsenal"'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Romantic Preferences and Standards
Earl Bassett
Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee
Well, sure.
Earl Bassett
Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee
Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett
Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee
I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett
I thought you called it your pecker?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Wake-Up Call for Mr. Bassett
Valentine McKee
Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparation for Monsters in the Underground
Burt Gummer
Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! (long sigh) ...underground. God damn monsters.
[''Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Authority and Intelligence
Valentine McKee
Who died and made you Einstein?
[''to Earl'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regret Over Timing in Leaving Town
Valentine McKee
We decided to leave town just one damn day too late!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Breakfast Disagreement Between Friends
Earl Bassett
No breakfast?
Valentine McKee
I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.
Earl Bassett
No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.
Valentine McKee
The hell you did! Baloney and beans. It's your turn!
Valentine McKee
Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Observations and Unlikely Supplies
Rhonda LeBeck
Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?
Walter Chang
Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Valentine McKee's Determination and Strategy
Valentine McKee
I've got a goddamn plan!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rejecting Free Beer Opportunity
Valentine McKee
I can't believe we said no to free beer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Plan for Escape and Survival
Earl Bassett
Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.
[''To Val'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.