Trouble in Paradise (1932) - Quotes

Gaston: Goodbye.

Mme. Colet: She extends her hand for a handshake.] Goodbye.

Gaston: You could have been marvelous.

Mme. Colet: Divine.

Gaston: Wonderful...But tomorrow morning, if you should wake out of your dreams and hear a knock, and the door opens, and there instead of a maid with a breakfast tray stands a policeman with a warrant, then you'll be glad you are alone.

Mme. Colet: But it could have been glorious.

Gaston: Lovely.

Mme. Colet: Divine...But that terrible policeman.

Gaston: [They kiss; She nods; He pulls her string of pearls from his coat pocket.] Goodbye. Do you know what you're missing? No. That's what you're missing. Your gift to her.

Mme. Colet: With the compliments of Colet and Companie.

Gaston: [He offers her the phone to report him, but she declines.] I see! You have to be in the Social Register to keep out of jail. But when a man starts at the bottom and works his way up, a self-made crook, then you say, Call the police! Put him behind bars! Lock him up! Very well, Madame. I am Gaston Monescu. The police will be delighted to verify my identity.

Mme. Colet: Gaston, did you take the money?

Gaston: Yes.

Mme. Colet: You wanted a hundred thousand francs. And I thought you wanted me.

Gaston: I came here to rob you, but unfortunately I fell in love with you.

Major: No doubt about it. It's that secretary.

Filiba: Funny the kind of men women fall for.

Major: No color, no sparkle, but dependable.

Filiba: The type they marry.

Major: You know, I'm not the marrying type. I like to take my fun and leave it....

Filiba: You know, he's really not such a bad fellow.

Major: No, just dull.

Filiba: Insignificant. He's a secretary. He always was a secretary, always will be.

Major: That's funny, heh, heh. The first time I saw him, I thought he was a doctor.

Filiba: [to Mme. Colet] Tonsils! Positively tonsils!

Gaston/LaValle: Jacques, dismiss the car, Madame is not going.

Jacques: Yes, Monsieur LaValle.

Mme. Colet: Jacques...don't dismiss the car. I'll be down in a few minutes...

Gaston/LaValle: I want you to stay, Mariette. You've got to stay. You can't go now.

Mme. Colet: I must go.

Gaston/LaValle: I'm crazy about you.

Mme. Colet: I know it.

Gaston/LaValle: I love you.

Mme. Colet: I believe you.

Gaston/LaValle: Then why do you want to go?

Mme. Colet: Because I want to make it tough for you.

Jacques: The car is waiting, Madame.

Mme. Colet: I won't need the car. I'm not going.

Gaston/LaValle: Jacques...Madame has changed her mind. She'll be down in a minute...

Mme. Colet: But I told you I don't want to go.

Gaston/LaValle: But you have an engagement, and I don't want people to talk.

Mme. Colet: Talk, about me? About us?

Gaston/LaValle: Precisely.

Mme. Colet: Afraid I'm ruining your reputation, Monsieur LaValle?

Gaston/LaValle: No, yours Madame.

Mme. Colet: [She snaps her fingers] Monsieur LaValle, I have a confession to make to you. You like me. In fact, you're crazy about me. Otherwise, you wouldn't think about my reputation. Isn't that so? But incidently, I don't like you. I don't like you at all! And I wouldn't hesitate one instant to ruin your reputation - - like that!

Gaston/LaValle: You wouldn't?

Mme. Colet: No, I wouldn't!

Gaston/LaValle: [snapping his fingers] Like that?

Mme. Colet: [snapping her fingers again] Like that!

Gaston/LaValle: I know all your tricks.

Mme. Colet: And you're going to fall for them.

Gaston/LaValle: So you think you can get me?

Mme. Colet: Any minute I want.

Gaston/LaValle: You're conceited.

Mme. Colet: But attractive.

Gaston/LaValle: Now let me tell you...

Mme. Colet: [They kiss; They kiss again)] Shut up - kiss me! Wasting all this marvelous time with arguments...

Lily: Goodbye, Gaston darling.

Gaston: Goodbye, sweetheart.

Lily: Well, I'll leave you alone with that lady. But if you behave like a gentleman, I'll break your neck.

Gaston: You're talking like a child. You know exactly what we're here for and what it's all about.

Lily: This woman has more than jewelry.

Gaston: Oh!

Lily: Did you ever take a good look at her, uhm.

Gaston: Certainly.

Lily: They're all right, aren't they?

Gaston: Beautiful. What of it? Let me tell you something. As far as I'm concerned, her whole sex appeal is in that safe.

Lily: Oh, Gaston. Let's open it right now. Let's get away from here. I don't like this place.

Gaston: No, no, sweetheart. There's more sex appeal coming on the first of the month. It's only ten days - 850,000 francs.

Lily: Darling, remember. You are Gaston Monescu. You are a crook. I want you as a crook. I love you as a crook. I worship you as a crook. Steal, swindle, rob. Oh, but don't become one of those useless, good-for-nothing gigolos.

Lily: You see, Mother is dead.

Mme. Colet: Yes, that's the trouble with Mothers. First you get to like them, and then they die.

Gaston/LaValle: In times like these when everything is uncertain, every conservative person should have a substantial part of his fortune within arm's reach.

Mme. Colet: Um, hmm. That sounds sensible. Hm, hmm. Yes. Very sensible. Very very clever.

Gaston/LaValle: Madame. I think you deserve a good scolding. First, you lose your bag.

Mme. Colet: Then I mislay my checkbook.

Gaston/LaValle: Then you use the wrong lipstick.

Mme. Colet: And how I handle my money.

Gaston/LaValle: It's disgraceful.

Mme. Colet: Tell me, Monsieur LaValle. What else is wrong?

Gaston/LaValle: Everything! Madame Colet, if I were your father, which fortunately I am not, and you made any attempt to handle your own business affairs, I would give you a good spanking - in a business way, of course.

Mme. Colet: What would you do if you were my secretary?

Gaston/LaValle: The same thing.

Mme. Colet: [She leans back provocatively and smiles sensuously.] You're hired.

Gaston: It embarrasses you to offer me the 20,000 francs reward.

Mme. Colet: Yes.

Gaston: Don't be embarrassed. I'll take it. I need the money. I wish I were in a position to ignore the whole matter, but you know Madame, the stock market, a bank crash. To make a long story short, a member of the nouveaux poor.

Mme. Colet: Well, I'm glad I lost the bag. I'll write you a check immediately.

Gaston: A lady as charming as you would and should get love letters.

Mme. Colet: Monsieur LaValle.

Gaston: But one suggestion. Not the Major. I don't mind his grammatical mistakes. I will overlook his bad punctuation. But the letter has no mystery. No bouquet. And one lipstick.

Lily: I like you, Baron.

Gaston: [He returns her brooch pin - after appraising it.] I'm crazy about you. By the way, your pin.

Lily: [after suddenly noticing she's missing it] Thank you, Baron.

Gaston: Not at all. There's one very good stone in it.

Lily: [She allows him to search for his pocket watch before looking startled. She hands it to him from her purse - after resetting it.; He pockets the watch with a smile.] What time is it? It was five minutes slow but I regulated it for you.

Gaston: [She checks her leg, under the table, and then Gaston holds the garter up high and kisses it to prove his expertise.] I hope you don't mind if I keep your garter.

Lily: [excitedly, she rises and kisses him, flinging herself into his arms] Darling! Oh now, darling. Tell me, tell me all about yourself. Who are you?

Gaston: You remember the man who walked into the Bank of Constantinople, and walked out with the Bank of Constantinople?

Lily: Monescu.

Gaston: Gaston Monescu.

Lily: Gaston!

Gaston: I love you. I loved you the moment I saw you. I'm mad about you. My little shoplifter. My sweet little pickpocket. My darling.

Gaston: That's hotel life. In one room, a man loses his wallet, and in another room, a man loses his head.

Lily: Please! When I came here, it was for a little adventure, a little game which you play tonight and forget tomorrow. Something's changed me; and it isn't the champagne. Oh, the whole thing's so new to me. I have a confession to make to you. Baron, you are a crook. You robbed the gentleman in 253, 5, 7, and 9. May I have the salt?

Gaston: [as he passes the salt] Please.

Lily: Thank you.

Gaston: The pepper too?

Lily: No thank you.

Gaston: You're very welcome. Countess, believe me, before you left this room I would have told you everything. And let me say this with love in my heart. Countess, you are a thief. The wallet of the gentleman in 253, 5, 7, and 9 is in your possession. I knew it very well when you took it out of my pocket. In fact, you tickled me. But your embrace was so sweet.

Filiba: He said, Good evening. I'm the doctor. I said, Doctor? He said, Yes, the doctor. I've come to see about your tonsils....

Hotel Manager: The representative of police would like to know if there is anything wrong with your tonsils, Monsieur Filiba?

Filiba: No...That's what I tried to tell him. Well, one word led to another. He was really a very charming fellow. We talked for about ten minutes...

Hotel Manager: What did you talk about, Monsieur Filiba?

Filiba: About tonsils.

Hotel Manager: Tonsille!

The Chorus of Police: Tonsille!

Filiba: So then I said to myself, all right, if he wants to look at them, let him look at them. There's no harm in that. Then he said, Say AH! And so I said, Ah! And that's all I remember. When I woke up, I still had my tonsils, but my pocketbook was gone.

Lily: [about her appearance in his room] By tomorrow, it'll be Grand Canal gossip!

Gaston: Don't stop. Keep right on complaining. It's beautiful.

Lily: You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were an American.

Gaston: Thank you.

Lily: Someone from another world - so entirely different. Oh! One gets so tired of one's own class - princes and counts and dukes and kings! Everybody talking shop. Always trying to sell jewelry. Then I heard your name and found out you were just one of us.

Gaston: Disappointed?

Lily: No, proud. Very proud.

Waiter: Yes, Baron. What should we start with, Baron? Hmm?

Gaston: Oh yes. That's not so easy. Beginnings are always difficult.

Waiter: Yes, Baron.

Gaston: [[Giacomo Casanova|Casanova; [w:Romeo|Romeo; [w:Juliet|Juliet; [w:Cleopatra|Cleopatra] If ] suddenly turned out to be ] having supper with ], who might become ], how would you start?

Waiter: I would start with cocktails.

Madame Mariette Colet: [To Francois; To the Major] No, no, Francois. I tell you, no! You see, Francois, marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together. But with you, Francois, I think it would be a mistake. Don't be so down-hearted, Major. You're not the only one I don't love. I don't love Francois either.

Gaston Monescu: Everything will be all right again. Prosperity is just around the corner.