Vampires Quotes

Man With Buick Hey, Cowboy! Can I help you?

Montoya Yeah. I'm gonna borrow your car.

Montoya Shhh. Just say "Help yourself.

Man With Buick You want me to say what?

Montoya Hey! Shut the fuck up OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING TEETH OUT THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD, ASSHOLE! BACK OFF!

Man With Buick Uh... help yourself, boy!

Montoya Much obliged, partner!

Jack Crow Padre... I'm beginning to like you... so don't make me hurt you, OK? Just tell me what you know... I'll buy you a beer and get you laid. Come on. If you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to start cutting on ya.

Father Adam Guiteau No, you won't. You're a righteous man, Mr. Crow. Besides I serve a higher master than you. Any secrets I keep are to protect the church and its followers. Part of...

Jack Crow Open your mouth.

Father Adam Guiteau What?

Jack Crow Open your mouth! Gimme your hand.

Jack Crow Now listen to me, you fuck! My father kept a secret once. He got bit by a vampire. He kept it a secret from me and my mother. By the fifth day he was turning. That night he attacked my mother and then he came after me. I killed my own father, Padre. I got no trouble killin you. Last chance.

Cardinal Alba Hello, Jack. From your expression, I assume you couldn't understand my presence here. I'm sorry to disillusion you, Jack. As one grows old, as death approaches, we begin to question... our faith. And I found mine lacking. "Is there a god? Is there a heaven?" I can no longer answer this for certain. I've witnessed no miracles, had no visions, and the prospect of death terrifies me. I've realized I've only one alternative, and I made a bargain. With the devil, if you wish.

Jack Crow You are truly a pile of dog shit, Cardinal.

Cardinal Alba Yeah, that's right. That's correct, Jack and I can live with that. After I have given what Valek wants, he will fulfill our bargain. And I will be transformed into one of his... new children. It's beautiful, isn't it?

Cardinal Alba Eternal life... immortality... can change a heart.

Taglines The blood confrontation of the ages is about to begin.

Jack Crow You ever seen a vampire?

Father Adam Guiteau No.

Jack Crow Well, first of all, they're not romantic, all right? It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin fags hoppin around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Eurotrash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies. They don't turn into bats. Crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You stand there with garlic around your neck, one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada chocolata while he's suckin the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffeta. You wanna kill one? You drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin heart. Sunlight turns em into crispy critters. You got it?

Taglines Prepare for the Dawn.

Taglines From the master of terror comes a new breed of evil.