Waterworld (1995) - Quotes

Deacon: [''After the Doctor has been painting a ball bearing in the Deacon's eye socket to resemble a prosthesis''] Well? How's it look?

Deacon: [''After the deck of the Deez clears, one lone figure walks toward the bridge''; ''The Mariner removes his mask''] Why aren't you rowing?

Nord: [''Derisively laughs''] It's him.

Enola: It is him! You guys are in so much trouble!

Deacon: Well, I'll be damned. It's the gentleman guppy.

Nord: You know, he's like a turd that won't flush.

Mariner: I want the girl.

Deacon: [''Derisively laughs'] You know, I thought you were stupid, friend. But I underestimated you. You are a total freaking retard!

Mariner: I want the girl. That's all.

Deacon: [''The Mariner takes [[Flare#Roadside and rail|a flare] Well, what on this screwed-up earth of ours makes you think you're gonna get her? ] from his belt, and holds it over a fume pipe leading down to the Deez's fuel hold]

Mariner: You know what this is. I drop it, you burn.

Doctor: We all burn...

Deacon: Now-now-now, let's not do anything rash here. I mean, are you sure this kid is worth it? I mean, she never does stop talking, she never shuts up!

Mariner: I noticed.

Deacon: So what is it, then? It's the map.

Mariner: She's my friend.

Deacon: Golly gee, a single tear rolls down my cheek. You're gonna die for your friend.

Mariner: [''Ignites the flare, and holds it over the fume pipe again''] If it comes to that.

Nord: He's bluffing! I'll kill him.

Enola: He's not bluffing, he never bluffs.

Deacon: [''To the Mariner''] SHUT UP! I- I- I- I- I don't think you're gonna drop that torch, my friend.

Mariner: Why not?

Deacon: [''The Mariner smiles, lifts his hand, and drops the flare down the hole''] Because you're not crazy. NO...!

Depth Gauge: Sir? Your Deaconship? Good day! Or night. Whatever the case may be...

Deacon: What is it? I'm a busy man.

Depth Gauge: [''the Deacon spits on the Depth Gauge's head''] I thought you should know. There's exactly nine feet and four inches of THE BLACK STUFF... Oh, thank you!

Deacon: What you got?

Nord: Couple of heartbeats over there. Aren't saying much.

Deacon: [''To two Atoll captives hanging up on gear spindles''] If you'll notice the arterial nature of the blood coming from the hole in my head, you can assume that we're all having a real lousy day. So here it is, I need to know about that tattooed girl. First one that tells me lives.

Atoll captive 1: I saw a girl. I saw...

Atoll captive 2: It was... she had a big tattoo on her.

Deacon: [''Shoots Atoll captive 1, to Atoll captive 2''] You won. Start over.

Atoll captive 2: I saw a girl. I'm not sure, but I think she got on that boat with three hulls.

Deacon: The boat that cost me 1,000 G's of go-juice?

Atoll captive 2: Yeah, the mute-o's boat.

Deacon: Mute-o?

Atoll captive 2: [''laughs''; [w:fish gill|like fish gills; [w:Evolution|fluke of evolution] Yeah. He got these slits here. Like... ]. He wasn't really a man. ].

Deacon: Oh, I'm sorry. A fluke of, uh...

Atoll captive 2: Evolution.

Deacon: [[w:Intelligent design movement|I know! Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen; [w:Book of Genesis|In the beginning, the provider said, 'Let there be water, and the seas came forth. He created everything that we know. The sun, the air that we breathe. He made, also, both man and fish; [w:Objections to evolution|and no combination thereof. He does not abide the notion... ''OF EVOLUTION!''] ]. ], ]

Nord: [''Raises a fist''] Amen!

Smokers: Amen!

Atoll captive 2: No! No, you said you wouldn't kill me!

Deacon: Did I say that?!

Atoll captive 2: Yes, yes, yes! You said... you said it!

Deacon: [''Gives gun to Nord who then executes the screaming Atoll captive 2''; [w:Hot air balloon|that sky boat; ''Pulls down eye patch to reveal empty eye socket''; [w:Ichthys|that ichthy-freak] Oh, I may have... I may have! We get to the Deez, tank up ], send it out on patrol. We gotta keep an eye out for ].

Atoll enforcer: [''To the Mariner having just arrived at the Atoll''] You know me ?

Mariner: I know what you are.

Atoll enforcer: Good. Then you know if you look for trouble while you're here, you'll find more than you can handle.

Atoll enforcer: You got two hours.

Mariner: I'll only need one.

Depth Gauge: [''Sees the Mariner's lit flare plunging into the tanker hold's of [[w:crude oil|crude oil; ''The reserve detonates''] Oh, thank God!

Hellfire Gunner: Floor it. Floor it!

Hellfire Gunner: Swab it. Swab it! I'm jammed.

Gatesman: [''While wrestling with Mariner trying to apprehend him, sees with horror a gill behind the Mariner's ear; with abhorrence''] Mu-u-ta-tion!

Nord: [''To the Mariner''] You should have stayed under water.

Deacon: Deacon: He'll see what's left of you in a goddamn jar!

Deacon: I've had a vision so great, as it came to me I wept.

Deacon: [''Kamakazees are flying out of water on jet skis and skid on ski jumps to fly over the Floating Cage's walls and take out the inhabitants. One kamakazee is sent in a tugboat to drive into the base of the Floating Cage''] Bring out the kamakazees. Well, that made a hole!

Deacon: [''To Enola''] How bout a cigarette? Nothing like a good smoke when you miss your mom... Never too young to start...

Deacon: If I ever see him again, I'm going to cut open his head and eat his brain.

Deacon: Well, I'll be damned. It's the gentleman guppy. You know, he's like a turd that won't flush.

Deacon: Look, it's the gentleman guppy.

Deacon: Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen.

Deacon: [''To two Atoll captives being interrogated''] If you'll notice the arterial nature of the blood coming from the hole in my head, you can assume that we're all having a real lousy day. So here it is, I need to know about that tattooed girl. First one that tells me lives.

Deacon: [''To Smokers''] Don't just stand there, kill something!

Deacon: [''To Enola''] Wanna cigarette? You're never too young to start.

Deacon: Dry land is not just our destination, it is our destiny!

Deacon: [''Referring to the Hellfire Gunner's boat whose line of fire is being pulled to the Deacon's boat by the Mariner ''] Maybe he doesn't answer to Chuck! Call him Charles!

Helen: I thought you all stopped for each other. Maybe he has some FOOD!

Enola: [''After the Mariner drops the flare and the tanker ship is imploding, to the Deacon looking on disamyed''] Was this your big vision?

Enola: He doesn't have a name, so death can't find him. He doesn't have a home or people to care for. He's not afraid of anything, men least of all. He's fast and strong like the big wind. He can hear 100 miles and see 100 miles underwater. He can hide in the shadow of the noon sun. He can be right behind you and you wont even know it till your dead.

Drifter: [''To the Mariner with two smokers in pursuit''; ''The Mariner sabotages the Drifter's boat who gets killed by the two pursuing smokers''] Forget the bag. It's not worth it. You'll never make it with your sails down.

Mariner: This is my boat. I got it the way I like it. You take up space and you slow me down.

Mariner: I've seen your boat before. Haven't seen you.

Mariner: [''Referring to dry land''] Because I haven't seen it. And I've sailed further than most men have dreamed.

Narrator: The future... The polar ice caps have melted, covering the earth with water. Those who survived have adapted, to a new world.