Weird Science (1985) - Quotes

Creating Your Own Date Solution

Taglines: If you can't get a date, make one!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Exploring the Nature of Desire

Taglines: ...it's purely sexual.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Creating the Perfect Woman in Science

Taglines: Gary and Wyatt have created the perfect woman. And she'll do anything they say all in the name of science.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

From Zeroes to Heroes in a Weekend

Taglines: They went from zeroes to heroes in one fantastic weekend.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Something Unusual Occurs for Wyatt and Gary

Taglines: Something weird is happening at Wyatt and Gary's.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Essence of Science in Weird Science

Taglines: It's all in the name of science. Weird Science.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Importance of Authenticity Over Bravado

Lisa: You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail.

Wyatt: We forgot to hook up the doll.

Lisa: You forgot to hook up the doll.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Uncertainty in a Positive Moment

Gary: I could be wrong, but I think these guys are stoked for us, Wyatt.

Wyatt: I got that feelin myself.

Gary: What do we do?

Wyatt: I don't know.

Gary: Should we go for it?

Wyatt: What about Lisa?

Gary: She did say we should party.

Wyatt: Look, let's get on with these two, score points, and go back to Lisa. This is like a dream come true.

Gary: How about if we see if we can score the points with these two and deal with them in case we get to them later?

Wyatt: Sounds good.

Gary: Okay, but whatever happens, we've gotta give Lisa a shot. I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Maybe the girls are lookin for a long lean bone job from me. Ready to party now?

Wyatt: 10-4.

Gary: Let's break.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Assessing Lisa's Enjoyment in Any Situation

Wyatt: Do you think Lisa's having a good time?

Gary: Lisa could have a good time at an insurance seminar, Wyatt.

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A Friend's Gathering Takes an Unexpected Turn

Wyatt: Lisa, you have to promise me that things aren't gonna get outta control.

Lisa: Wyatt, don't worry. You're just having a few friends over.

Wyatt: I don't have any friends, Lisa.

Gary: He doesn't. Boy ain't lyin'.

Lisa: You do now.

Lisa: Hi!

Guests: HI!!!

One guest: PARTY!

All guests: [chant] Party! Party! Party! Party!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Awkward Conversations About Adolescent Behavior

Lisa: Have you ever wondered how sad it is, that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?

Lucy Wallace: Oh Gary! Oh my God!

Gary: Ma, I never tossed off to anything!

Lucy Wallace: You told me you were combing your hair!

Gary: I was! I was!

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Confusion Among Friends About Past Relationships

Gary: [completely wasted] Fats, man, lemme tell you my story, man. Last year, I was insane for this crazy, little 8th grade bitch.

Fats: Crazy insane?

Man 1: Insane?

Man 2: Crazy?

Gary: I was nuts for the woman, man. Now, you gotta believe me. I'm tellin the truth here. I speakin to ya. I mean, I was nuts for the girl. And what did it to me was these big titties she had. For a 13-year-old girl, man? She wouldn't have had to worry bout no titties for the rest of her life, boy. You know, she was set. She was looking good, I saying.

Wyatt: That's the truth, baby.

Gary: I called her every night for, like, a month. I mean, I talkin devotion, man.

Mitch: Every damn night?!

Gary: Every night, Mitch. I ain't playin with you.

Mitch: On the telephone?

Gary: What this boy talkin bout, on the telephone, man?!

Fats: Explain it to him!

Gary: Well, damn, Fats! Goddamn! We know there's a telephone!

Lisa: But he hung up on her.

Man 1: Oh, you didn't hang up on her. The chick with those big, big titties?

Gary: Hey, you. Now, here the capper. You know what the bitch did to me?

Mitch: Lay it on me.

Gary: Take this shit on. Listen to what she did to me.

Lisa: She kneed you in the nuts and called him faggot in front of everyone.

Mitch: She did what?!

Man 1: Bitch kneed your nuts?!

Gary: Bitch kneed my nuts, man! I ain't playin with ya.

Fats: In the family jewels?

Gary: In the family jewels, man!

Wyatt: Worst pain there is.

Gary: Broke my heart in two!

Fats: She broke more than your heart.

Mitch: [points to Lisa] You can forget that other one. You got this fine jewel sittin right over here by you.

Gary: Ain't that the truth, baby? That's the clean truth!

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Unexpected Attraction in Unlikely Pairing

Dino: Tell me something. What's a beautiful broad like you doing with a malaka like this? Huh?

Lisa: It's purely sexual.

Dino: No shit.

Gary: She's into malakas, Dino!

Dino: She's into malakas"! Do you believe that?!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Navigating Unexpected Situations with Confidence

Wyatt: What are we gonna do with her?

Gary: Look, we'll just go with the situation. Okay? And I'm sure by Sunday, you'll think of something. You're a very bright guy. I have a lot of faith in you. Okay? All right?

Wyatt: I'm just being practical.

Gary: I know you are. Okay? And I appreciate it.

Wyatt: But what are we gonna do about this mess?

Gary: Wyatt, you'll have plenty of time to clean up tomorrow. Okay?

Wyatt: Okay, but don't get any B.O. on Chet's suit, or he'd kill me.

Wyatt: Where are we going, anyway?

Gary: [looks at the suits] I don't know. She said we're gonna go downtown and... Oh, my God! Whose stuff is this? Is that your stuff? Is this yours?

Wyatt: Oh, shit. Gary, I don't know what's goin'--

Gary: Wyatt, what's goin on here?

Wyatt: I don't know.

Gary: What is goin on here?

Wyatt: Gary, I don't know!

Gary: I don't know what's goin on here!

Wyatt: You look good though! All right?!

Gary: Yeah?!

Wyatt: Yeah.

Ceremonial Bras on Heads Explained

Wyatt: Gary?... By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?

Gary: [hesitates] Ceremonial.

Chet's Harsh Reality Check on Romance

Chet Donnelly: You two donkey-dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue.

Chet's Threat to Reveal the Truth

Chet Donnelly: I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad everything. I'm even considering makin up some shit!

Chet's Unconventional Food Suggestion

Chet Donnelly: How bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?

Unexpected Consequences of Aggressive Behavior

Lisa: [to Wyatt's grandparents after they arrive unannounced] You ought to know better than to walk into somebody's house and start hitting people with your Rex Harrison hat!

Unexpected Experiences and Their Thrilling Impact

Lisa: If you ever get the chance, shower with them. I did. Mmm, it's a mindscramble. Hurts so good.

High School Party Expectations Explored

Lisa: You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals.