What's So Bad About Feeling Good? Quotes

Opening tune Whats so ] with that ] sensation That sense of utter elation What's so ] about ] ]? People sharing ] and goodwill….

Police officer Hey, lady. Don't worry, we'll get you to the hospital right away. Emergency maternity! Call in!

Liz Oh no, Pete, not again.

Liz What's a ] with somebody ], ], ] and ] What's so ] about ] ]?

Liz You're worried.

Pete It's a wonderful ]. Can't last ].

Dr. Shapiro It's too early for the chemotherapy to take affect.

Pete The virus is bound to wear off sometime.

Liz Of course it will, darling. But it's been more than a dream. It's been a new ] for us. And no matter what happens we've got to remember that and cling to it.

J. Gardner Monroe What did you put in that spray? Saccharine?

Liz ] that if the ] came out only once in a thousand years men would look at them differently.

J. Gardner Monroe Are you sure this the right channel? It sounds like a soap opera to me.

Liz We've been warmed by the glow of ] and ], touched by ] and ]. We've felt ] and ]. We've finally seen the ] of the stars.

J. Gardner Monroe And love is what makes the world go round. Roses are red, violets are blue. If my wife talked to me like that, I'd smack her in the mouth.

Dr. Witter It's sentimental, yes, but that's ]. Unfortunately most people repress tenderness, suffocate it with ] and …

J. Gardner Monroe Let me tell you something. Our glorious and dynamic country did not get that way by the glow of kindness and ], no sir, it was built by ], the ] of the fittest. During the gold rush men beat each others ] out with pickaxes, and because of that, the great state of ] was born. What is wrong with you?

Murgatroyd Oh, oh. I was just trying to see, It's getting interesting. If they had a series like this on TV, wow.

J. Gardner Monroe Shapiro, I thought you said that stuff was going to make him mean and irritable.

Dr. Shapiro Well, a situation such as this, spray or no spray, you can hardly expect him to kick her out of bed.

Liz The city was under attack by land, sea and air. Two days later you wouldn't have known the place. Over one million New Yorkers had joined the club.

Dr. Shapiro What this particular virus evidently does is cause changes in our behavior patterns. ] infected become euphoric, have a sense of well-being.

The Mayor Well, I'm not going to order the Police Commissioner to call out twenty-eight thousand cops to find some ] that makes people ] ].

Dr. Shapiro But we have no way of knowing what it may lead to. ] could feel so good they'd quit their ], fly kites in Times Square, block traffic, uh... stop ]...

The Mayor Stop voting? Get me the Police Commissioner!

Liz * Reading the Health Department bulletin about the virus spread by the Toucan.

Pete In the evening the cares of the day were exchanged for the pleasures and relaxations of Broadway, then, when the day people went to bed, Greenwich Village came to life … Yes it was a typical night in the village too, but in the East Village, just a few blocks away, there was an entirely different class of people — real artists —  writers, composers, who were making a true contribution to the new culture. We were the intellectuals, the elite. We weren't eccentrics like the others. We dressed comfortably and casually, and spoke the language as educated people do. Not the jargon of the immature rebels. We weren't searching for the ], we'd found it. A couple of years ago, I was just like the rest of you conformists.

The Mayor Have you found out anymore of the effect of the virus?

Dr. Shapiro Well, it frees people from hostile feelings.

The Mayor You mean like tranquilizers?

Dr. Shapiro No, they merely suppress and diminish hostility. The virus seems to do away with it entirely. People become uh, ], more ], stop brooding.

Aide Mister Mayor, eighty-two percent not only stop brooding, they stop smoking. Ninety-three percent stop drinking.

The Mayor What's wrong with that?

Aide In terms of dollars and cents, it's disastrous. Our city is facing a drastic loss in income from sales tax.

The Mayor That's ridiculous. Forty-seven people? A drop in the bucket.

Aide But if this goes unchecked for a month, by mathematical progression, half of New York will have the virus. You know what that means? It means a loss in cigarette and liquor taxes more than one hundred and eighty million dollars.

The Mayor A hundred and eighty million... Brady, what are you sitting there for? Get that bird!

Pete Just a minute. I'd like to say something.

Reporter Why, yes sir.

Pete Well, I've got it.

Liz So have I!

Pete & Liz The virus!

Pete And its the ] thing that ever happened.

Liz It makes you feel WONDERFUL!

Pete Forget about what the mayor said, forget about those masks.

Liz Find a crowd and BREATHE DEEP!

J. Gardner Monroe Do you realize what would happen if this got to ]? ] agreeing with ] and vice versa. This ] could destroy our two party ]. The very foundation of our great ]. This bird…

Conrad Could be the salvation of ]. This bird has given us what the ] needs more than anything else: ].

Liz Well, uh… That's the way you kiss your sister?

Pete Well, you see we have a slightly incestuous relationship.

Dr. Witter I believe no more than 50% are infected. The rest are just being swept along.

J. Gardner Monroe Well if they haven't got it, then why aren't they acting like normal cynical people?

Dr. Witter People who have it aren't spreading a virus so much as a manner of behavior. They ] the ] is not beyond ]. They're ], considerate, polite, friendly — and the others are responding in kind.

Liz I wonder if that's what happened to me, Pete. You know I didn't wake up that morning feeling good the way you did.

Pete You didn't?

Liz No. But then Gertrude and Conrad and the others were so cheerful, and the way you had been so nice the day before. Maybe I was immune to the virus, and it just sort of rubbed off on me.

Pete Virus, schmirus — long as you feel good.

The Sack Since the problems of ] are insoluble, one should withdraw into complete isolation and live a life of total non-involvement with other ].

Liz Aida and I teamed up. We were "The Bubble Sisters" and every bubble Aida blew was filled with greetings from Amigo.

Amigo Oh Boy! Grapes.

Pete What the hell is that?

Liz Get a load o that beak!

Pete Come on, you. Hey! Hey! Those are my grapes.

Liz Oh, let him eat em. He's probably hungry.

Pete Oh sure. Make a pet out of him, get ] involved. That what you want?

Liz I don't ] if you have him for breakfast.

Opening tune * "What's So Bad About Feeling Good?" by ] and Dave Blume Well you lazy no good rotten stinkin… Shutup before I give you a hit in the mouth. Like hell you did, you came in after me. Your telling me when I came in? You're damn right I am. Who you shoving mack? You own the sidewalk? C'mon, c'mon, get out of the way. What are you, some kind of nut or sumpin?) -->

Liz * "Blue, Black and Grey" by ] and Dave Blume

Taglines It's good for what Bugs you!!! (and what's so bad about that?)

Liz Read this, It's a Health Department bulletin it ] the whole thing. That's what happened to you, you got it from that ] that flew in this ]. The police are trying to catch him.

Pete Hey, how bout that. ] in behavior. That's me!

Pete Very contagious.

Liz Uh, huh, huh, ha.

Pete One little ] and you'll have it too.

Liz I don't want it.

Liz I was once a sad optimistic ] only grim, realistic, Turning off to the games people play I find peace of ] in the ] That true existence is dreary Because ] was meant to be blue, black and gray. All the ].

Pete Come ere! Come ere. Look. In this cruddy pile o junk — a ]. The odds against ] must've been a million to one. But it made it. Couple of drops of ], and some ]...

Liz Pete, what's ]? What's the matter with you?

Pete I don't know. Ever since I got up I've been feeling kind of ]. I don't think I can explain it to you, but every thing seems different. Hey ].

Liz To what? The traffic?

Pete Kids ].

Liz You know why they're laughing? Cause they're not old enough to read the newspaper. You take a look at the front page and then try laughing. The ]'s a stinking, hopeless mess! Oh, Pete, you're ]. Sometimes a high fever can make you feel this way.

Pete I feel GREAT!

Liz That's what I mean.

Pete Of course there were some who didn't ] back. They clung to the illusion that ] was ]. It got to be a ] … but they were in the ].

Liz No. Don't ask me to go back. Pete, remember what we had. Remember it. Cling to it.

Pete You're kidding yourself. Hinklemeyer's right. You talk about ] and ]. Read the front page and try to find some.

Liz Pete, I can't go back. I couldn't live that kind of life, ever again.

Pete Okay, you drink your poison, and I'll drink mine.

Liz The virus produces a sense of euphoria, a feeling of well-being. No symptoms but a sudden ] in behavior patterns. Highly contagious. Avoid contact.