Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) - Quotes

Eddie: Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / Come on, you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane.

Jessica: He's lost his mind.

Roger: [in a sing-song voice] I don't think so.

Eddie: This singin ain't my line / It's tough to make a rhyme / If I get stuck, um... I'm-I'm out of luck, um...

Jessica: I'm running out of time!

Eddie: Thanks!

Roger: Hey, Eddie, keep it up! You're killin em! You're slayin em! You're knockin em dead!

Eddie: I'm through with takin falls / And bouncin off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

Roger: Nose!

Smart Ass: Nose"? That don't rhyme with "walls.

Eddie: No, but this does!

Doom: Do they have the will or not?

Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter.

Doom: No matter. I doubt if that will is going to show up in the next 15 minutes, anyway.

Eddie: What happens in the next 15 minutes?

Doom: Toontown will be legally mine - lock, stock, and barrel.

Eddie: Happy Trails.

Roger: No, thanks, Eddie. I'm tryin to cut down.

Eddie: Drink the drink!

Roger: But I don't want the drink!

Doom: He doesn't want the drink.

Eddie: He does!

Roger: I don't!

Eddie: You do!

Roger: I don't!

Eddie: You do!

Roger: I don't!

Eddie: You do!

Roger: I don't!

Eddie: You don't.

Roger: I do!

Eddie: You don't!

Roger: I do!

Eddie: You don't!

Roger: [takes the drink] Listen! When I say "I do", that means I do!

Eddie: [knocks over the barrel of dip to slow down Doom] Got you, kid!

Roger: [he and Eddie rush outside] Come on, Eddie! Let's get outta here! Move it, pops! YIKES!! Yeah! That was quick thinking, Eddie! Nothin like using the ol spine flower, the wise noodle, the smart puddin'!

Eddie: [grabs Roger and throws him in the weasels van] Roger, let's use this!

Roger: Let's get outta here! What are you waiting for?!

Eddie: THERE'S NO DAMN KEY!

Benny: HEY, YOU WEASELS! LET ME OUTTA HERE, WILL YA?! COME ON! I'VE GOTTA MAKE A LIVING!

Roger: [opens the hatch and looks back] Benny, is that you?

Benny: [sarcastically; [Eleanor Roosevelt] No, it's ]. Come on, Roger. Get me outta here!

Roger: [squeezes through the hatch and the love letter to Jessica falls into Eddie's lap. He puts it in his pocket] Eddie! We got ourselves a ride! Open the doors!

Benny: Ah! That's better! I can't believe they locked me up for driving on a sidewalk!

Smart Ass: Say, boss. You want we should "disresemble" the place?

Doom: [taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter; taps "Shave and a Haircut" a few times] No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me. No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick.

Eddie: [Roger starts freaking out; Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut"; Roger freaks out even more] I don't know who's toonier; you or Doom. Roger! Roger! Roger, no!

Doom: [taps "Shave and a Haircut" again; Roger violently freaks out to his limits] Shave and a haircut.

Roger: [crashes through the wall] 2 BITS!

Roger: Hey, who turned out the lights? I can't see a thing! What's going on?

Eddie: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!

Roger: [kicks the bucket off and Valiant catches it] But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.

Eddie: SIT DOWN!!

Roger: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.

Eddie: Yeah. And when they're done laughing, they're gonna call the cops! That guy, Angelo, would rat on you for a nickel.

Roger: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.

Eddie: Why, just because you made him laugh?

Roger: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

Eddie: D'you mean to tell me you could've taken your hand outta that cuff at any time?!

Roger: [jumps away as Eddie tries to hit him and spins in a chair] No. Not at any time. Only when it was funny. Bl-bl-bl-! C'mon, Eddie! Where's your sense of humor?

Dolores: Is he always this funny or only on days when he's wanted for murder?

Jessica: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.

Eddie: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.

Jessica: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Eddie: [runs to them] Uh... Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey!

Sitter: I've been tryin to make him quit, but he just won't listen to me.

Baby Herman: What do you know, you dumb broad? You got the I.Q. of a rattle. You Valiant?

Eddie: Yeah.

Baby Herman: [to a woman; slaps sitter's butt] I wanna talk to you about the Acme murder. Hey, psst, doll. Why don't you run downstairs and get me a racin form?

Sitter: [leaves] Okay, okay, I'm going!

Eddie: The lady's man, huh?

Baby Herman: My problem is, I've got a 50-year-old lust and a 3-year-old body.

Eddie: Yeah. Must be tough.

Baby Herman: [hands Valiant a newspaper for August 1947] Look, Valiant. The rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer. I should know. He's a dear friend of mine. I tell you, Valiant, the whole thing world's like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The paper says Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Every toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us Toons. That will is the reason he got bumped off!

Eddie: Has anybody ever seen this will?

Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.

Eddie: [turns the baby carriage around] If you believe that that joker could do anything solid, the gag's on you pal!

Baby Herman: I just figured since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might want to help get him out. I can pay ya.

Eddie: [angrily pushes the baby carriage forward, and rolls it down the hall] Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!

Baby Herman: [collides with the sitter, drops his cigar; looks down at his cigar, starts crying] Hey, no! Valiant, don't! Oh! My stogie! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Eddie: [looks at the newspaper in his office; drinks his whiskey; notices the will is Marvin Acme is in the picture, gets out of the magnifying glass to investigate it] It ain't not my fault the rabbit got himself in trouble. All I did was take a couple of lousy pictures. The baby was right. The hell with it.

Bongo: What do you think you're doing, chump?

Eddie: Who are you callin a chump, chimp?

Bongo: [closes the door] And don't let me catch your peepin face around here again! Got it?

Eddie: OOGA-BOOGA!

Marvin: Come, my dear, Jessica. Over here. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed.

Jessica: [tired out] Oh, not tonight, Marvin. I have a headache.

Marvin: Oh, Jessica, you promised.

Jessica: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.

Eddie: [surprised] You gotta be kidding me.

Roger: [crying; struggles the window blinds; heads to bang his head on his desk] Patty-cake! Patty-cake! I don't believe it! Patty-cake! Patty-cake! Is that true?!

Maroon: Take comfort, son. You're not the first man whose wife played patty cake on him.

Roger: I just don't believe it. I won't believe it. I can't believe it. I shan't believe it!

Eddie: [drops the wet handkerchief in the bin] Believe it, kid. I took the pictures myself. She played patty cake.

Roger: [looks at couple pictures of Jessica and Marvin; throws pictures into the air] No... not my Jessica! Not patty cake. This is impossible. I don't believe it. It can't be. It just can't be. Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee.

Eddie: You better start drinking it black, cause Acme's taking the cream now.

Maroon: Hard to believe. Marvin Acme's been my friend and neighbor for 30 years. Who would've thought he was a sugar daddy?

Roger: Somebody must have made her do it.

Maroon: [hands Roger a glass of whiskey] Now drink this, son. It'll make ya feel better.

Roger: [drunkenly] Thanks. I needed that.

Eddie: [shakes the whiskey off of his hands] Son of a bitch. Look, Mr. Maroon, I think my work here is finished. How about that carrot you owe me, huh?

Maroon: [hands Eddie the check] A deal's a deal.

Eddie: Thanks.

Maroon: Roger. I know all this seems pretty painful now. But you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?

Eddie: [chuckles] Yeah, sure. A good looking guy like that? The dames'll be breaking his door down.

Roger: [suddenly comes to life; angered; grabs Eddie by the collar] Dames?! What dames?! Jessica's the only one for me! You'll see! We'll rise above this pickling peccadillo! We're going to be happy again! You got that? Happy! Capital H-A-P-P-I!

Eddie: Well, at least he took it well.

Judge Doom: [last words] I'M MELTING! MELTING! WAUGH-WAUGH-WAAAAH! Oh no!

Judge Doom: [after showing Eddie his true form: A toon; as his voice grows higher-pitched every second] Remember me, Eddie?! When I KILLED your brother, I TALKED. JUST. LIKE. THHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIS!!!

Judge Doom: ['''Jessica Rabbit:''' Oh, my God! It's '''DIP!!!'''] Can you guess what this is? That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the Earth!

Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtains on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I am retiring to take a new role in the private sector.

Jessica Rabbit: I think... I'm gonna faint.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, my God! It's DIP!!!

Jessica Rabbit: [madly slaps Eddie in the face] Mr. Valiant? I hope you're proud of yourself. And those pictures you took.

Eddie Valiant: [looks at the newspaper in his office; drinks his whiskey; notices the will is Marvin Acme is in the picture, gets out of the magnifying glass to investigate it] It ain't my fault the rabbit got himself in trouble. All I did was take a couple of lousy pictures. The baby was right. The hell with it.

Eddie Valiant: [while seeing Jessica Rabbit and Marvin Acme playing patty-cake] You gotta be kidding me.

Eddie Valiant: Who're you calling a chump, chimp?

Eddie Valiant: [stuffs a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off] Get this straight, meatball. I... don't... work for toons!

Eddie Valiant: Nice booby trap!

Eddie Valiant: [to Earl, who recently got laid off] Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.

Eddie Valiant: [Penguin waiters from Mary Poppins] Scotch on the rocks. And I mean ice!

Roger Rabbit: ['''Judge Doom''': Put that gun down, you buck toothed fool!; a 1-ton load of bricks falls on him] Yes, it is me my dearest. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage! That is it, Doom! Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead! Thought you could get away with it, didn't you?! Ha! We Toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid! We demand justice! Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks!

Roger Rabbit: A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it is the only weapon we have.

Roger Rabbit: Is there nothing that can permeate your impervious puss? Hey, Eddie! (makes silly noise) Boy, nothing!

Roger Rabbit: [while crying, looking at his pictures of him and Jessica; wedding, honeymoon and nightclub] Oh, Jessica. Please tell me it's not true. P-p-p-please?

Roger Rabbit: [angrily to Eddie] Dames?! What dames?! Jessica is the only one for me! You will see! We will rise above this pickling peccadillo! We are going to be happy again! You got that?! Happy! Capital H-A-P-P-I!

Roger Rabbit: My whole purpose in life is to...make...people...laugh!

Roger Rabbit: [repeated line] P-p-p-please!