31 quotes
A Moment of Distraction in Conversation
Peter Colt
Lizzie, Lizzie, don't say a word. I was thinking a repeat of the other night, like ], early to bed... Mr Bradbury, hello. Mr Bradbury?
[[w:Fish and chips|Fish and Chips]
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Betting on Family Rivalry
Carl
20 quid to win, Ajay Bhat.
Carl's mate
Hey isn't he playing your brother?
Bookie
You should be ashamed.
Carl
Yeah but curiously, I'm not.
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Clarifying a disputed tennis call.
Lizzie Bradbury
What are you talking about. The chalk flew up there's a mark right there.
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Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Peter
Of course I want to win, of course I do. He's just better than me.
Lizzie:
No, he's not.
Peter
I'm two sets down my backs killing me...
Lizzie
Play through the pain.
Peter
I'm too tired, my legs feel like lead.
Lizzie
Find a second wind, its what all champions do.
Peter
His serve is unstoppable.
Lizzie
No it's not it's a bundle of tells.
Peter
Sorry?
Lizzie
Jake's serve is like a book, you just need to know how to read it.
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Analyzing Players' Performance in the Tournament
John McEnroe
Jake Hammond has been on an absolute tear. He's dropped just ONE set this entire tournament and look who he's had to beat. Roddick, Hewitt, Federer.
Chris Evertt
By comparison with the exception of Dragomir and Tom Cavendish, Colt's road to this final has been a relative pushover.
John McEnroe
Yeah but he's played some great Tennis.
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Avoiding Bedroom Mix-ups
Lizzie
It's a good thing you didn't get the wrong bedroom.
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Reflections on a Fading Tennis Career
Peter Colt
The reality is another story, my story. See that good looking fella? No, not the kid in white – the other tired, good looking fella. Yeah, him. Well, that's me. British Davis Cup, long time ago. Two singles titles, even longer ago. Presently ranked 119th in the world. Sport is cruel. Now, I know it doesn't sound too bad. 4 million tennis players in the world and I'm 119th, but what that really means is this: 118 guys out there are faster, stronger, better and younger.
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Misunderstanding Peter's Tennis Ranking
Woman
Oh look that's Peter Colt the new pro. Once ranked seventeenth in the world
Peter
ELEVENTH!!!!
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Missed Opportunity for a Workout
Lizzie Bradbury
Too bad, you could have used the workout.
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Missing sandwich in a cucumber order
Ron Roth
So that's cucumber cucumber and cucumber, they forgot to put the sandwich in my sandwich.
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A Bold Proposition on the Tennis Court
Lizzie Bradbury
Hit this one... and I'll sleep with you.
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Discussion of Men's Tennis Match Results
Carl
Where are the men's games?
Carl's mate
Roddick lost to Jake Hammond in four sets.
Carl
Shit. What about Peter and Prohl?
Carl's mate
Didn't you hear? Pete decimated him mate, straight sets.
Carl
Shit.
Carl's mate
What, you bet against him again?
Carl
That bastard usually comes through for me he's been on such a good losing streak.
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Questioning Priorities in Life and Learning
Peter Colt
Oh my god, shouldn't he be off learning about ] or something?
[[w:masturbation|masturbation]
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Balancing loyalties in sports and family
Ron Roth
I really don't care who wins, I represent both players It's like asking which of my kids do I love more. Which of my kids do I love more? My daughter speak to you later.
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Character Expresses Strong Dislike for Another
Peter Colt
Ron, I genuinely despise you.
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A Character's Frustration in Wimbledon
Peter Colt
Carl, you bastard.
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Comment on Luck and Physical Appearance
Peter Colt
And may I say good body – luck! Shit.
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Unexpected Exclamation in a Tense Moment
Peter Colt
Fuck a duck.
[''Walking out onto Centre Court'']
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Dispute Over Line Call in Tennis Match
Peter
Excuse me, the ball was good.
Umpire
40-30
Peter
Oh come on, the ball was good chalk flew up the whole damn stadium saw it. I don't know if you've noticed but this is quite an important point.
Umpire
That's too close for me to overrule. Please resume play.
Peter
Absolutely not, I'm not playing on this is complete BOLLOCKS!
Carl
ABSOLUTELY BOLLOCKS!
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Changing Plans and Sheets
Carl
Change of venue girls, your mums or mine?
Peter
Out. I am so sorry.
[''To Lizzie'']
Carl
Might want to change the sheets.
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Tactical Betting and Family Rivalry
Carl
100 quid on Cavendish in the quarters.
Bookie
Hold your horses. So still betting against your brother then?
Carl
It's tactical. If he loses I get rich, If he wins I get laid.
Bookie
Where'd you get 100 quid from anyway?
Carl
Photo journalism.
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Considering Retirement in Sports
Peter Colt
Can I retire now, Mum?
[''After winning Wimbledon'']
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Love's Blindness and Foolishness
Peter Colt
My parents are still together, which proves that love is not only blind, it's bloody stupid.
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Miscommunication Among Friends About Tickets
Carl
Now, tell her about the tickets.
Mrs. Colt
Tickets?
Peter
Oh, God, you really are a wanker, aren't you?
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Communication Breakdown Between Peter and Ron
Peter
What are you doing here Ron? You're not still my agent.
Ron
What are you talking about?
Peter
What am I talking about? Let me see. I called you about a year ago and I'm still waiting for you to return my call.
Ron
I don't do phone calls I'm into emails now.
Peter
Ron, that is a lie.
Ron
Yeah its a lie but you know what Peter agents are NOT miracle workers. I can't sell a product that doesn't exist but here you are existing again so I'm back selling.
Peter
Ron, I genuinely despise you.
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A Lighthearted Exchange About Enjoying the Moment
Lizzie
Why are you running behind me?
Peter
I'm just enjoying the view!
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Casual Exchange Between Two Characters
Girl
Piccy?
Carl
Just a bitty.
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A Banter on Weaknesses
Jake
I warned you about her. By the way how's the weak back?
Peter
It's fine thanks. How's the weak mind?
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The Importance of Communication in Tennis
Ron Roth
Call ], call ], call ].
[[w:David Letterman|Letterman; [w:Jay Leno|Leno; [w:Oprah Winfrey|Oprah]
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Frustration with Travel and Relationships
Peter
I'm tired of hotels, airports and long distance love affairs that never go anywhere.
Carl
Losing.
Peter
Yeah losing, thanks Carl.
Carl
Now tell her about the tickets
Augusta
Tickets?
Peter
Oh God, you really are a wanker aren't you?
Carl
Harsh but fair.
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Announcement of Tennis Retirement at Press Conference
Carl
And seeing as this may be my last Wimbledon press conference, I'd like to take the opportunity to announce my retirement – (JAKE enters)
Reporters
Jake! Jake!
Peter
From tennis. That's my retirement from tennis!
[''They don't notice'']
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