Without a Paddle (2004) - Quotes

Acknowledging Serious Trouble Ahead

Dan Mott: [imitating [[w:C-3PO|C-3PO] We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being--how do you humans say it?-- completely screwed?

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A Disastrous Adventure Comes to an End

Dan Mott: This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.

Tom Marshall: I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.

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Truths and Lies Among Friends

Jerry Conlaine: Wait a second. Tom, were you really employee of the month?

Tom Marshall: No! I lied about that too!

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The Advantage of Running Barefoot

Dan Mott: What are you doing?

Jerry Conlaine: Taking off my shoes.

Dan Mott: Why?

Jerry Conlaine: Because I run faster with no shoes

Dan Mott: You can't outrun that bear!

Jerry Conlaine: I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!

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A Lighthearted Take on Fetal Position Advice

Tom Marshall: He won't bother you if you're in the fetal position.

Tom Marshal: Abort the fetal position!

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Unexpected Wildlife Encounter in the Open

Dan Mott: Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that!

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Bacon and Squirrel Conversation

Dan Mott: Mmm, bacon.

Del Knox: Squirrel.

Dan Mott: Mmm, squirrel.

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Childhood Memories and Fear of Heights

Jerry Conlaine: Come on, Dan. It's like when we'd jump off the railroad bridge into the river when we were kids. This is higher than that.

Dan Mott: But I never did jump in the river! You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking!

Jerry Conlaine: [Pushes Dan] Oh yeah!

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Facing Challenges with Humor and Resolve

Dan Mott: [after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry] Give em hell, Tommy

Tom Marshall: [about to rappel down the tree] This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.

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Unexpected Reunion at Billy's Funeral

Tom Marshall: Is this Billy's funeral? Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?

Tom Marshall: That you, Jerry?

Jerry Conlaine: Tom!

Tom Marshall: Dan with you? Where'd you guys park?

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A Cold Night and a Playful Demand

Jerry Conlaine: Come back to bed, you guys. I'm freezing.

Tom Marshall: Not until he puts Jabba back in his Hut!

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Scouting Memories and Sweet Treats

Jerry Conlaine: Well I was a boy scout, you were a boy scout too right Tom?

Tom Marshall: No but I ate a brownie once.

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Survival Choices in Extreme Situations

Dan Mott: The only chance we have to survive is to huddle together for warmth...

Jerry Conlaine: I, for one, choose death.

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Acceptance of a Difficult Situation

Dan Mott: You know, things are as bad as they could possibly get.

Dan Mott: I stand corrected!

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Coming Out and Acceptance Among Friends

Dan Mott: I'm out.

Jerry Conlaine: What does that mean?

Tom Marshall: I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.

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Inappropriate Celebration and Safety Concerns

Jerry Conlaine: [smashes beer bottle on canoe] I christen this, Duke the second!

River Guide: Thanks for breaking glass where my kids play.

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Cherokee Wisdom Meets Modern Technology

Tom Marshall: We'll shine them. It's an old Cherokee trick.

Jerry Conlaine: Oh, I forgot. The Cherokee have been using flashlights for thousands of years.

Dan Mott: Didn't they pioneer the D-cell battery?

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Decision to Embark on Billy's Trip

Jerry Conlaine: Let's take Billy's trip.

Tom Marshall: I say hell yes!

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Treasure Hunts and Shared Adventures

Jerry Conlaine: [to Denise] Here's the thing: the guys and I are going on a treasure hunt and I know it sounds dumb, but its something that we have to do. For Billy.

Denise: That doesn't sound dumb at all, I completely understand.

Jerry Conlaine: [surprised] You do?

Denise: Just call me when you get a chance. But I... I might be out of the house, for a bit. Yeah cause my girlfriends and I, we're gonna go on a search for the Lost City of Atlantis!

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Canoeing Misadventures and Dark Humor

River Guide: [While talking to Jerry, Dan and Tom about renting the canoe] There's a transmitter in the canoe. So just in case you three go missing, at least we'll get our boat back.

Elwood: [After cutting off a fish's head with a hatchet] How you like me now? Huh? How you like me now, fishy? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk, cause you don't have a head and I cut it off!

Dennis: [hearing "[[w:Do you Really Want to Hurt Me|Do You Really Want To Hurt Me] ]" being sung] The hills have gone gay.

Dennis and Elwood: [singing] Yes we really want to hurt you. Yes we really want to make you cry. Yes we really want to shoot you. Yes we really want to make you die.