Wreck-It Ralph (2012) - Quotes

Taglines: When the arcade closes, the fun begins.

Taglines: Get ready for a new kind of hero.

Taglines: When the game is over, a new world comes to life.

Taglines: This holiday season comes a story for everyone who ever needed a restart on life.

Taglines: This November, he's exploring new worlds, he's meeting new friends…he's got ONE chance to play the hero.

Taglines: The story of a regular guy just looking for a little wreck-ognition.

Soundtrack: [[w:Buckner & Garcia|Buckner & Garcia] *"Wreck-It, Wreck-It Ralph" by ]

Soundtrack: He was minding his own business on the day they cameThey showed a piece of paper saying "eminent domain"They built an apartment building saying progress was to blameSo he got madAnd he turned badBrick by brick he's gonna take his land back

Sour Bill: [The racers gasp; Swizzle Malarkey kneels down] Now I remember. All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush: Princess Vanellope.

Taffyta Muttonfudge: I remember. She's our princess.

Candlehead: Oh, that's right!

Taffyta Muttonfudge: We are so sorry about the way we treated you.

Rancis Fluggerbutter: Yeah, those were... jokes!

Candlehead: [sobs] I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [the other racers look on with anticipation] Tut tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be... Executed.

The Racers: [They all start to cry about their impending death] WHAT?!

Taffyta Muttonfudge: No, no, no, please! Please!

Fix-It Felix Jr.: Oh my land!

Calhoun: Oh, this place just got interesting.

Candlehead: [drops down to her knees and sobs louder] NO!

Taffyta Muttonfudge: [drops down to her knees sobbing, tearfully pleading for forgiveness] I don't wanna die!

Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm just kidding!

Taffyta Muttonfudge: You are?

Vanellope von Schweetz: Stop crying, Taffyta.

Taffyta Muttonfudge: [hyperventilates as her mascara starts running; sobs a bit; stops crying] I'm trying, but it won't stop.

Turbo: Oh, look at that, it's your little friend! Let's watch her die together, shall we?

Ralph: [Ralph looks down at Vanellope, then looks to his goal, the volcano now far enough below him to slam down all the Mentos.] No!

Turbo: It's game over for both of you.

Ralph: [breaks free from King Candy’s grasp and free falls; he extends his fist downward to the Mentos, but he is unable to keep steady, knowing full well that the cola will kill him.] (determined) No. Just for me!

Ralph: [Vanellope's medal slips out of his shirt. He grabs onto it and hugs it to his chest] (reciting the BA affirmation) I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be... than me.

Cy-Bug Turbo: [King Candy lunges at him. Ralph rolls past him.] (laughs maniacally) Because of you, Ralph, I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade! I can take over any game I want. I should thank you, but it'd be more fun to kill you.

Vanellope: It's okay, Ralph, just go. Go without me.

Felix: But what about this game?

Calhoun: Nothing we can do about it. Without a beacon, there's no way to stop these monsters.

Ralph: (realizes and looks toward Diet Cola Mountain) Beacon. Stay with Felix!

Fix-It Felix Jr.: Is that...?

Wreck-It Ralph: NO WAY!!

Vanellope von Schweetz: What the-?! Who are you?!

Turbo: [evil laughter] I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever! AND I DID NOT REPROGRAM THIS WORLD TO LET YOU AND THAT HALITOSIS RIDDLED WARTHOG TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!! Turbotasic! End of the line, glitch!

Fix-It Felix Jr.: [shakes the bar, loosening it; pulls out his golden hammer, in Ralph's voice; pounds it on the bar, but it makes them thicker and stronger; sits down, sobbing] Hello?! Hello?! Somebody, anybody. Please, let me out! Oh. What's he say, what's he say? "I'm gonna wreck it!" Oh. Why do I fix everything I touch?!

Wreck-It Ralph: [bursts through the wall of Felix's jail cell] BAM!!! Felix!

Fix-It Felix Jr.: [jumps up; hugs Ralph; lets him go] Ralph! I'm so glad to see you! Wait. No, I'm not! What do you have to say for yourself?

Wreck-It Ralph: I—

Fix-It Felix Jr.: Wait! I don't want to hear it. I'm NOT talking to you.

Wreck-It Ralph: [dumps out a can full of the broken Candy Kart] Okay. Don't talk. That's fine. But you have to fix this go-kart for me, pronto.

Fix-It Felix Jr.: I don't have to do boo! Forgive my potty mouth. I'm just so, so cross with you! Do you have any idea what you've put me through?! I ran higgledy-piggledy all over creation looking for you. I almost drowned in chocolate milk mix! And then, I met the most dynamite gal. Oh. She gives me the honey glows something awful. But she rebuffed my affections. And then, I GOT THROWN IN JAIL!!

Wreck-It Ralph: Felix, pull yourself together.

Fix-It Felix Jr.: [turns away] NO, Ralph! You don't know what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal!

Wreck-It Ralph: Yes, I do. That's every day of my life.

Fix-It Felix Jr.: It is?

Wreck-It Ralph: [Felix smiles and pulls out his golden hammer] Which is why I ran off (to win a medal) and tried to be a good guy, but I'm not! I'm just a bad guy, and I need your help. There's a little girl whose only hope is this kart. (And her name is Vanellope von Schweetz. You see, Candy is not a good king. He removed Vanellope's code and turned her into a glitch for an unknown reason.) Please, Felix, fix it! And I promise, I will never try to be good again.

Wreck-It Ralph: [to Sour Bill] Hey, Cough Drop!!

Sour Bill: [stops humming and looks at Ralph] Huh?

Wreck-It Ralph: Explain something to me: If Vanellope was never meant to exist, then why is her picture on the side of the game console?!

Sour Bill: [frantically tries to running away, but Ralph grabs him] Uh...

Wreck-It Ralph: [threateningly] What's goin on in this candy-coated heart of darkness?!

Sour Bill: Nothin'.

Wreck-It Ralph: TALK!!!

Sour Bill: No!

Wreck-It Ralph: I'll lick you!

Sour Bill: You wouldn't!

Wreck-It Ralph: [licks Sour Bill] Oh, yeah?!

Sour Bill: Ugh! It's like sandpaper!

Wreck-It Ralph: [[w:Tootsie Pop|how many licks it'll take to get to your center] Mmm, (You look like a small jawbreaker,) I wonder ].

Sour Bill: I'll take it to my grave!

Wreck-It Ralph: [tosses Sour Bill into his mouth; Sour Bill let's out a muffled screamed; Ralph takes him out] Fair enough. Oh, they call you "Sour Bill" for a reason! Had enough yet?

Sour Bill: Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk, I'll talk! Vanellope was a racer until King Candy tried to delete her code!

Wreck-It Ralph: Tried to delete her code"?! So that's why she's a glitch!! Why is he doing this to her?!

Sour Bill: I don't know!

Wreck-It Ralph: [starts to put Sour Bill back in his mouth] Suit yourself.

Sour Bill: No, no, no, no, no, no!!! I swear, I don't know! He literally locked up our memories and I cannot remember! Nobody can!! But I do know this: he'll do anything to keep her from racing. Because if she crosses the finish line, the game will reset, and she won't be a glitch anymore!

Wreck-It Ralph: Where is she now?!

Sour Bill: In the Fungeon with Fix-It Felix.

Wreck-It Ralph: FELIX?!

Sour Bill: I'm sorry! That's all I know, that's all I know, I swear! Now please, don't put me back in your filthy mouth again! (sobs as Ralph sticks him to a lollipop tree)

Wreck-It Ralph: Stick around.

Sour Bill: Yes, okay. I will, I will. Thank you.

Wreck-It Ralph: Hello? Anybody home? Felix? Mary?

Gene: [as he's pouring his martini at the bar] Well. You actually went and did it.

Wreck-It Ralph: Gene. Where is everybody?

Gene: [places an olive on a toothpick into his martini] They're gone. After Felix went to find you, and then didn't come back, everyone panicked and abandoned ship.

Wreck-It Ralph: But... But I'm here now.

Gene: [Starts drinking his martini. Ralph heads to the balcony and opens the door. He gasps at the paper saying "OUT OF ORDER" hung over the game console.] It's too late, Ralph. Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning.

Gene: [tosses the key to Ralph, grabs the suitcase and heads for the door] But, never let it be said I’m not a man of my word. The place is yours, Ralph. Enjoy.

Wreck-It Ralph: [Gene stops walking] Gene, wait. Listen, this is not what I wanted!

Gene: [turns to Ralph] Well, what did you want, Ralph?

Wreck-It Ralph: I don't know, I just... I was just tired of living alone in the garbage.

Gene: [leaves; Ralph drops the key to the penthouse and heads for the balcony. He sees the "OUT OF ORDER" paper, then he pulls the Hero's Duty medal he had around his neck. He tearfully throws it at the screen which hears a distant smack. The paper moves a little bit, but Ralph sees what was revealed from the view; Vanellope von Schweetz on the side of the game console. His sadness turns to surprise when he catches sight of this and then suddenly, realizing he's been played, gets an idea.] Well, now you can live alone in the penthouse.

Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm back! Did you miss me?

Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah. Uh... Hey, can we talk for a second?

Vanellope von Schweetz: Wait. First, kneel down.

Wreck-It Ralph: What? No, we really...

Vanellope von Schweetz: Will you just do it?

Wreck-It Ralph: Okay.

Vanellope von Schweetz: Now, close your eyes.

Wreck-It Ralph: Vanellope...

Vanellope von Schweetz: [He shuts them. She ties something around his neck] Shush! Close them!

Vanellope von Schweetz: Okay. Open them up.

Wreck-It Ralph: To Stinkbrain." Gee, thanks.

Vanellope von Schweetz: Turn it over.

Vanellope von Schweetz: I made it for you. Just in case we don't win. Not that I think there's even a remote chance we're not going to win.

Wreck-It Ralph: Thanks, kid. Listen...

Vanellope von Schweetz: [Ralph doesn't move] Now rise, my royal chump. I've got a date with destiny. Ralph, come on. Move your molasses.

Wreck-It Ralph: Um... I've been thinking.

Vanellope von Schweetz: That's dangerous.

Wreck-It Ralph: Who cares about this stupid race anyway? Right?

Vanellope von Schweetz: [laughs] That's not funny, Ralph.

Wreck-It Ralph: No, I'm serious, and it was really fun to build the car and everything. But maybe you shouldn't do it.

Vanellope von Schweetz: Hello? Is Ralph in there? I'd like to speak to him, please.

Wreck-It Ralph: Look, what I'm saying is you can't be a racer.

Vanellope von Schweetz: [Her eyes go down to his chest and she sees something; She pulls the Medal of Heroes out of Ralph's pocket] What? Why would you... Wait a minute.

Wreck-It Ralph: No! (Stop!)

Vanellope von Schweetz: Where did you get this?

Wreck-It Ralph: Look, I'm going to be straight with you, kid. I've been talking to King Candy.

Vanellope von Schweetz: King Candy?!

Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah.

Vanellope von Schweetz: You sold me out?

Wreck-It Ralph: No, I didn't... Listen, you don't understand!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [She throws the medal at him, which hits him in the face and falls to the ground. She jumps back in the kart] No, I understand plenty, traitor!

Wreck-It Ralph: I'm not a traitor. Listen.

Vanellope von Schweetz: You're a RAT!! And I don't need you, and I can win the race on my own!

Wreck-It Ralph: [Ralph grabs and picks her up out of the kart. She glitches furiously] But I'm trying to save your skin, kid!

Vanellope von Schweetz: Put me down! Let me go!

Wreck-It Ralph: [He sets her down. She immediately makes a dash for the kart. Ralph blocks her way. She struggles to get around him] No! You listen to me! Do you know what's gonna happen when the players see you glitchin', they're gonna think the game's broken.

Vanellope von Schweetz: I don't care! You're a liar!

Wreck-It Ralph: No, you better care, because if your game goes out of order...

Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm not listening to you!

Wreck-It Ralph: ...you go down with the ship, little sister!

Vanellope von Schweetz: GET OUTTA MY WAY!! I'm going to that race!

Wreck-It Ralph: [He grabs her hood] No, you're not!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [grunts, Ralph hangs Vanellope by her hood on the edge of a lollipop tree] Augh! Take me down from here, Ralph, RIGHT…

Wreck-It Ralph: NO!!

Vanellope von Schweetz: …NOW!!!

Wreck-It Ralph: [He goes over to the kart and clenches his fists. She struggles to get free, but can't] I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

Vanellope von Schweetz: [But he doesn't stop and smashes his fists onto the kart; screams in shock; Ralph destroys the kart. She breaks down sobbing, then she glitches and lands on her knees on the ground. Ralph turns to her, heartbroken; She runs away crying into the mountain entrance. Ralph hangs his head. He sighs, then walks over and picks up his medal and leaves Sugar Rush.] Wait, wait, wait. No. No. No, no, no, no! Please, Ralph! NOOOOO!! RALPH, STOP IT! STOP IT! NOOOOO!! You really are a bad guy.

King Candy: [arrives in his car] Hello!

Wreck-It Ralph: YOU!!

King Candy: [desperately trying to placate Wreck-It-Ralph] Now, now, I come alone, unarmed.

Wreck-It Ralph: [enraged and hurling a jawbreaker at King Candy; [w:Robots (2005 film)|I've had ENOUGH of you, ''pillowpants!''] ]

King Candy: [dodging the jawbreaker and begging for mercy] Please, calm down, please, just.. look..

Wreck-It Ralph: [lividly] I'M GONNA BEAT THE FILLING OUTTA YOU!!!

King Candy: [immediately dons a pair of glasses; Ralph yanks the glasses off and breaks them over Candy's head; Wreck-It Ralph GRABS King Candy by his lapels] AHHH!! You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? AHHH! You hit a guy with glasses. That's... that's... well-played. AAAHHH!!

Wreck-It Ralph: [threateningly] What do you want, Candy?!

King Candy: Listen...I..I...just want to talk to you.

Wreck-It Ralph: I'm not interested in anything you have to say.

King Candy: [produces Hero's Duty medal] Well, how about this...are you interested... in this?

Wreck-It Ralph: [surprised] My medal?!...How did you...?

King Candy: [Wreck-It-Ralph takes the medal] It doesn't matter. It's yours! Go ahead, take it. All I ask is that you hear me out.

Wreck-It Ralph: [becoming skeptical] About what?

Wreck-It Ralph: Get to the point.

King Candy: Point being, I need your help. Sad as it is, Vanellope...cannot be allowed to race.

Wreck-It Ralph: [outraged] WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO AGAINST HER?!?!

King Candy: I'm not against her!! I'm just trying to protect her.

Vanellope von Schweetz: Look, you want that medal, right? And I wanna race. So, here's what I'm thinkin': You help me get a new kart—a real kart—and I'll win the race and get you back your medal!

Wreck-It Ralph: You want me to help you?

Vanellope von Schweetz: [extends her hand] All you gotta do is break somethin for me. C'mon, what do you say, friend?

Wreck-It Ralph: We are not friends.

Vanellope von Schweetz: [seriously] Aw, c'mon, pal! You son-of-a-gun! C'mon, buddy! Shake on it! C'mon, chumbo! Ralph, my man! M main man! Hey. My arm's getting tired. Do we have a deal or not?

Wreck-It Ralph: [groans; defeatedly; shakes Vanellope's hand] You better win.

Vanellope von Schweetz: What are you looking at?

Wreck-It Ralph: You're welcome, you rotten little thief.

Vanellope von Schweetz: I'm not a thief. I just borrowed your stupid coin. I was gonna give it back to you as soon as I won the race!

Wreck-It Ralph: It's not a coin! It's a medal!

Vanellope von Schweetz: Coin, medal, whatever! Just go back to your own dumb game and win another one.

Wreck-It Ralph: I can't. I didn't win it in my game. I won it in Hero's Duty.

Moppet Girl: Mr. Litwak!

Litwak: What's the trouble, sweetheart?

Moppet Girl: The game's busted.

Litwak: Oh boy. Looks like the game's gone cuckoo, like my nana. Sorry, sweetie. Here's your quarter back.

Moppet Girl: But what about the game?

Litwak: I'll have someone look at it tomorrow, but if he can't fix it, it might be time to put old Ralph and Felix out to pasture. Like my nana.

Gene: Ladies and gentlemen, we're out of order.

Mary: Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed!

Wreck-It Ralph: [looking into lost and found crate; a [[WALL-E|cockroach; flicks it off, finds a Super Mushroom; puts it back, finds a [[w:Metal Gear|Metal Gear; he tosses it, and finds Zangief's underwear; he drops it back in] Okay, let's see what we got here. ] lands on his hand] Shoo! Shoo! Go on, get out of here. Mushroom? No. ] exclamation point] What is this? No. Oh, come on, Zangief. Gross. What am I doing?

Wreck-It Ralph: Hey, excuse you!

Markowski: [mumbling, shell-shocked] We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy all Cy-Bugs. We are humanity's last hope.

Wreck-It Ralph: [stands and looks at him, curious] Uh... You okay there, space cadet?

Markowski: [traumatized] We've only been plugged in a week, and every day it's "Climb the building, then fight bugs. Climb the building, fight more bugs!

Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah, yeah. Right. Look. Easy on the overalls, spaceman. It's tough all over, all right?

Markowski: And all for what, a lousy medal?

Wreck-It Ralph: [ding] Medal? You win a medal?

Markowski: Yeah, Medal of Heroes.

Wreck-It Ralph: Ooh. Is it shiny?

Markowski: Eh... Pretty shiny.

Wreck-It Ralph: Ooh! And it says "hero" on it?

Markowski: Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

Wreck-It Ralph: And you say you win it by climbing a building?

Markowski: AND FIGHTING BUGS!

Wreck-It Ralph: Right, bugs. Listen, is there any chance I could go with you to your game and, you know, maybe get one of those medals?

Markowski: Negatory!

Wreck-It Ralph: Does that mean "maybe"?

Markowski: [sees a cockroach who climbs on Ralph's shoulder; emits a high-pitched shriek and runs straight into the wall, knocking himself out] NO! Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps. BUG!!!

Felix: How about we just eat the cake?

Gene: Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal!

Wreck-It Ralph: Well, then, how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once? Would that be the end of the world, Gene?

Gene: Now you're just being ridiculous! Only good guys win medals, and you, sir, are no good guy!

Wreck-It Ralph: I could be a good guy if I wanted to and I could win a medal!

Gene: Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us!

Wreck-It Ralph: And THEN would you finally let me be on top of the cake with you guys?!

Gene: If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the penthouse! But it will never happen! Because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building!

Wreck-It Ralph: No, I'm not!

Gene: Yes, you are!

Wreck-It Ralph: [angrily smashes the cake and everyone gasps] No, I'M NOT!!!!

Gene: Yes. You. Are.

Wreck-It Ralph: [Ralph exits] Alright, Gene. You know what? I'm gonna win a medal. Oh, I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen! A medal that will be so good that it will make Felix's medals...WET THEIR PANTS!! And good night! Thank you for the party.

Saitine: Well happy 30th anniversary, Ralph.

Wreck-It Ralph: Thanks, Satan.

Saitine: Uh, it's Saitine, actually.

Wreck-It Ralph: [pauses out] Got it. But here's the thing. I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.

Kano: You can't mess with the program, Ralph!

M. Bison: You're not goin Turbo, are you?

Wreck-It Ralph: Turbo?! No, I'm not going Turbo! C'mon, guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once in a while? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?

Zombie: Yes.

Clyde: Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. And the sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.

Zangief: Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.

Wreck-It Ralph: [last lines] The best part of my day, is when the Nicelanders throw me off the roof. Because when they lift me up, I get a perfect view of Sugar Rush, and I can watch Vanellope racing. The kid's a natural, and the players love her, glitches and all, just like I knew they would. That's when I realize: I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. Because if that kid likes me, how bad can I be?

Wreck-It Ralph: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be– than me.

Wreck-It Ralph: [repeated line] I'M GONNA WRECK IT!

Wreck-It Ralph: [first lines; [w:Asteroids (video game)|Asteroids; [w:Centipede (video game)|Centipede] My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy. Uh, let's see, I'm 9 tall, I weigh 643 pounds, got a little bit of a temper on me. My passion bubbles very near the surface, I guess—not gonna lie. Anywho, what else? Uh, I'm a wrecker. I wreck things, professionally. I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. Thing is, fixing is the name of the game. Literally. Fix-It Felix Jr. So yeah, naturally, the guy with the name Fix-It Felix is the good guy. He's nice enough as good guys go. Definitely fixes stuff really well. But, uh, if you got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor, carpenter guy, I guarantee you, he would not be able to fix the damage that I do as quickly. When Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that, I say, "Ha!". And no, there aren't. 30 years, I've been doing this, and I have seen a lot of other games come and go. Kinda sad. Think about those guys at ]? Boom, gone. ]? Who knows where that guy is, you know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at, I'm very lucky. It's just, I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it.