26 quotes
Reflections on Childhood Relationships and Regrets
Zack Brown
I've known her since the first grade. You don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney
Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten. We got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown
But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney
I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Timing and Sensitivity in Conversation
Zack Brown
]
[''Suggesting porn titles''; [w:Brokeback Mountain|Fuckback Mountain!]
Zack Brown
...Too soon?
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A Bold Proposal for Intimacy
Zack Brown
Let us fuck!
[''Repeated line'']
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Understanding the Dutch Rudder Technique
Lester
I even tried to talk her into givin me the fuckin Dutch Rudder...shot me down on that, too.
Zack Brown
And a Dutch Rudder is...?
Lester
You don't know what a Dutch Rudder—alright, you grab your dick, and then you have somebody else work your arm. Here, lemme show you. Grab my arm. I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm. Now work it, work my arm. See that shit? Now work it up and down. See that? See, it's like somebody else is jerking you off. And of course, there's the Double Dutch Rudder, which, I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm. Same time! Same time. It's like jerkin off together, but not gay. We're not touchin dicks! Each other's dicks, anyway. I'm touchin my own dick. You're workin it, and I'm lovin it. It feels good, sir... try me! C'mon!
[Shakes head.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange About Intimacy
Zack Brown
Oh, you'll be sorry when I'm giving you the best orgasms of your life.
Miriam Linky
Yeah, right. As if you even know what you're doing down there.
Zack Brown
Where's ] again? Is it in your ass?
[[w:clitoris|the clitoris]
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A Promise of Endless Love and Patience
Zack Brown
I don't want to be with anyone but you, so I will wait forever for you, okay? I will wait the rest of my life, because I love you, and I have for as long as I can remember, and I would rather die than be without you, Miriam Linky.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coffee Order Amidst a Conversation
Customer
Can I get a coffee, black?
Delaney
Can't you see we talking, white?
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A Movie Too Naughty for Full Disclosure
Taglines
They Made A Movie So Naughty We Can Only Show Their Faces
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Humorous Take on Unconventional Intimacy
Zack Brown
I don't mean to alarm you...but I think I just jerked off Lester a little bit.
Miriam Linky
The Dutch Rudder?
Zack Brown
Yeah! It's ingenious, really.
Miriam Linky
If you ask me nicely, I will Dutch Rudder you for the rest of our lives.
Zack Brown
Good. I'm getting tired of fucking the ].
[[w:Fleshlight|fleshlight]
Miriam Linky
You fucked it?
[''Laughs'']
Zack Brown
Yeah.
Miriam Linky
What'd it feel like?
Zack Brown
...fucking a flashlight.
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Frustrations of a Lonely Guy
Zack Brown
How come you get to be all ] having sex in ] with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis, and I'm stuck to a bottle of Jergen's in the bathroom?
[[w:Buck Rogers|Buck Rogers; [w:25th century|the 25th century]
Miriam Linky
Holy Bejeesus, tell me you don't use my Jergen's to jack it in our bathroom.
Zack Brown
No. You know what I do? I light a bunch of candles, and I sprawl out on my sheets, and I listen to ]. No, I'm a guy. You give me two ] and a rubber band, and I'll find a way to fuck it, like a filthy ]!
[[w:Sting (musician)|Sting; [w:Popsicle|Popsicle sticks; [w:MacGyver|MacGyver]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery
Delaney
What? ] ain't never had no sex with ] in the ]!
[[w:Han Solo|Han Solo; [w:Princess Leia|Princess Leia; [w:Star Wars|Star War]
Brandon
I will be patient with you. I will be there on your journey. I will be your Sherpa up the mountain...of gayness.
[''To Bobby'']
[[w:Indian exceptionalism|I hate you ebony and ivory motherfuckers!]
Deacon
] during an Can you believe this shit?! ]
[''After getting covered in Stacey's [[w:feces|feces; [w:anal sex|anal sex scene; [w:Wet and messy fetishism|That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!]
Lester
Don't know what a Dutch rudder...? All right, you grab your dick, then you have someone else work your arm. Here, let me show you. All right, grab my arm. I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm. Now work it. Work my arm. See that shit? Work it up and down. It's like someone else is jerking you off. Okay. There's the double Dutch rudder, which, I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm, same time. ]. I'm touching my own dick. You're working it, and I'm loving it. It feels good, sir. Try me, come on.
[''To Zack in the kitchen''; [w:homophobia|It's like jerking off together but not gay. We're not touching dicks, each other's dicks anyway]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenging Perceptions of Film Titles
Taglines
A poster for everyone who finds our movie title hard to swallow.
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Inappropriate Language Sparks Offense
Zack Brown
I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker!
Miriam Linky
Dude... that's really dirty.
Zack Brown
That's too dirty?
Miriam Linky
That offends me.
Zack Brown
Penis?
Miriam Linky
Fine.
Zack Brown
I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!
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Body Image and Confidence in Decision Making
Miriam Linky
So... I guess we should do this.
Zack Brown
I think we should probably wait, uh, just until I lose another 20-30 pounds.
Miriam Linky
Stop it. You look good.
Zack Brown
Thanks.
Miriam Linky
So...what about me? How do I look?
Zack Brown
I mean, you look beautiful. You always look...so beautiful, so I guess it's not a big deal. But you...you look amazing.
Miriam Linky
Okay! Let's go make a porno!
[''Grabbing his hand lovingly, then quickly beginning to swing it back and forth'']
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Humorous Exchange About Adult Film Concerns
Zack Brown
Delaney, my friend, you are On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over.
Delaney
Man, I can't be in no porno. My wife will kill me.
Miriam Linky
Hump me, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over. You're my only hump.
Delaney
On the other hand, fuck my wife.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conversation Between Aspiring Actors
Brandon
], we call that "].
[''Referring to Miri's outfit''; [w:Los Angeles|In L.A.; [w:Nickelodeon|Nickelodeon chic"]
Zack Brown
Wait, L.A.? Los Angeles? That's awesome, man. What do you do out there?
Brandon
I'm an actor.
Zack Brown
Wow! That's really impressive.
Brandon
Thank you.
Zack Brown
Fucking movies!
Brandon
Fucking movies. Pretty much.
Zack Brown
Look at you! Anything I would have seen? What movies?
Brandon
].
[[w:Gay pornography|Oh, all sorts of movies with all-male casts]
Zack Brown
All-male casts? Like ], like that?
[[Glengarry Glen Ross]
Brandon
].
[[w:Pornographic parody film|Like ''Glen and Gary Suck Ross's Meaty Cock and Drop Their Hairy Nuts in His Eager Mouth'']
Zack Brown
]?
[''Pause''; [w:naivety|Is that like a sequel]
Brandon
Sort of. It's a reimagining.
Zack Brown
Oh, like ].
[[The Wiz]
Brandon
More erotic. And with less women. No women, to be exact.
Zack Brown
I apologize in advance if I am outta line here, but are you in gay porn?
Brandon
Guilty as charged.
[''smiles'']
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Questioning the lengths to escape debt
Taglines
What would you do to get out of debt?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commentary on Fame and Exploitation in Media
Zack Brown
]! It's like ] or ] ]. Look at ]. She throatfucks a guy in night-vision, now she's selling fragrances to teens! And I'm pretty sure she's legally retarded!
[[w:Pornification|Porn has gone mainstream; [w:Coca-Cola|Coke; [w:Pepsi|Pepsi; [w:human penis|with dicks in it; [Paris Hilton]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bold Declaration of Creative Ambition
Zack Brown
We are gonna launch arcing ropes of jism all over this motherfucker! Peace!
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Unexpected Solutions in a Difficult Situation
Miriam Linky
What happened to the water?
Zack Brown
I guess they musta shut it off...
Miriam Linky
Help me get this shit outta my hair! Just use the water outta the toilet!
Zack Brown
There's poo in there...
Miriam Linky
The back part of the toilet!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memorable Titles in Adult Film Industry
Zack Brown
Brandon here is the star of such adult films as...what was that one called again?
Brandon St. Randy
You Better Shut Your Mouth or I'm Gonna Fuck It.
Zack Brown
Oh, yeah... surprised I forgot that.
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Critique of Wealth and Ignorance
Zack Brown
Have you seen ] who made ]? That guy is the biggest fucking idiot piece of shit in the world and he has a jet and a fucking island.
[[w:Joe Francis|that Joe Francis guy; [w:Girls Gone Wild|Girls Gone Wild]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversation About Dogs and Intimacy
Lester
Hey Stacey. You like dogs?
Stacey
Yeah. Especially pocket dogs.
Lester
Oh. I really liked porking you. It made my dick feel good.
Stacey
Me too. Except for the dick part, because I don't have one but the good part.
Lester
Cool. Well, see ya.
Stacey
Bye.
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Choosing the Perfect Porn Name
Zack Brown
What's your name?
Lester
Lester... Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff.
Zack Brown
Wow. That's a great porn name.
Lester
I get to pick a porn name? Then I want to be called... Pete Jones.
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An Awkward Question About Intentions
Zack Brown
Sorry to change the subject on you, Lester, but if you're not fucking Miri, why is your dick out right now?
[''To Lester nude in the kitchen'']
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Desire for Voyeurism in Unexpected Places
Miriam Linky
Nobody wants to see us fuck, Zack!
Zack
EVERYBODY wants to see ANYBODY fuck. I hate ], but if somebody said, "I got a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting fucked stupid," I'd be like, "Why the fuck aren't we watching that right now?!
[[Rosie O'Donnell]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.