There are only two episodes left before A's identity is finally revealed on "Pretty Little Liars," and the internet is breaking. Mostly due to the fact that Aria Montgomery's no longer dating her former stalker (judging you forever, Ezra Fitz), but also because Hanna Marin is currently trapped in a jail cell. This week, the liars join forces to spring Hanna from the slammer, and they come across a few new clues along the way....
(Note the use of mysterious ellipses for extra dramatic effect...)
Alison Goes To Trial, Hanna Pretends She Knows How To Fold Laundry
Alison's trial is upon us, and the prosecution has a theory: Alison lied about being kidnapped and then killed Mona Vanderwaal to keep her secret hush-hush. Uhm, last time we checked only the liars knew the truth about Ali's kidnapping, which means there's an informant among us. Trust no one.
Anyway, now that Ali's lie is out in the open, everyone's in a full blown panic about what's coming . Will Ali be convicted? Will the liars have to take the stand? And more importantly, will Ezra Fitz stop pretending like his bookshop / coffee shop is a success? So many questions. The only good bit of news is that Ali and Hanna get a chance to bond during recess, and they spend their down time in Rosewood's totally Dickensian laundry room chatting about how Ali used to be text buddies with A –– who she thinks was actually Mona. Interesting...
Jason DiLaurentis Takes The Stand, Fails Miserably / Ruins Lives
At this point, the only evidence the liars have is the phone number of some random creeper named Varjack who might be the same person Ali used to text. Now, you might be thinking, "but wait, isn't Caleb Rivers a genius high school hacker?" You are correct, but Caleb has no idea how to trace Varjack's number (damn your brilliant phone skills, Varj! [Can we call you Varj?]), which is particularly annoying considering that this mystery man starts calling the liars and playing inane Edith Piaf songs over the phone.
Obviously, everything is super stressful in Liar Land, and to make matters worse Jason DiLaurentis takes the stand at Ali's trial. This poor dude is completely confused about how to act like a normal person, and ends up kinda-sorta admitting to having an affair with Mrs. Marin and implying that she convinced him to join Team Ali through her seductive wiles. Oh, and then Ms. Marin breaks up with Pastor Ted because she feels so bad about herself. Thanks for nothing, Jason.
The Liars Morph Into Nancy Drew, Andrew Becomes An A-Lister
At a loss as to how they can help Hanna and Ali, the liars break into Mona's house after hearing the dulcet tones of Edith Piaf coming from her window. They quickly find a note from A that says "finders keepers losers weepers" (presumably a red herring to get them off the scent), but then discover a hidden index card that reads "Chandelier's rituals. Sister launched lair. A ruler's list chained." In other words, total gibberish.
In other slightly related news, Aria is still chummy with Andrew Campbell –– however her suspicions are raised when he announces that the world is a better place without Mona in it. Even more alarming, he's seen lurking outside Mona's house when the liars break in! Does this mean that he's A? Who knows at this point, but personally we're holding out hope that it's Chad Lowe. Or, as he's known on "Pretty Little Liars," Byron Montgomery.
Also, this episode ends with A shredding all of Varjack's personal information and chilling with a terrifying parrot, so on that note, we have a lot of questions:
1. We're starting to think that Varjack might be Mona... Yes, we saw her body –– but Mona's definitely smart enough to fake her own death and get away with it.
2. Is Andrew Campbell A? Because there's no other reason for him to be lurking outside Mona's house. Unless he was stalking Aria, which –– given her taste in men –– is possible.
3. Will Ali be proven innocent, or sentenced to life in prison?!
4. Apparently A's identity will be revealed in two weeks, so now's the time to start placing bets. Who is "Pretty Little Liars'" hoodie-clad super-villain?