Call now and get Targaryen in an Aquarium absolutely free!



"Jimmy Kimmel Live" just created a new holiday tradition for families sick to death of the destructive powers -- and high maintenance -- of the Elf on the Shelf. Jimmy told his audience the elf was tearing his family apart. "But fortunately, there's a new little sentry for children of all religions that's based on a very popular series on HBO."



Cue "Game of Thrones" star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, aka Jaime Lannister, as "Lannister on the Bannister" in his own creepy little ad.




Cheerful ad voice-over: "No one can escape the Kingslayer's watchful eye!"

Jaime Lannister: "You steal that candy, and I'll chop your hand off ... LIKE THIS!"




The one-handed man goes on to terrorize the two children in the ad, while hitting on their mother. "Now, you remind me of my sister..."



Check it out:

That violent, mutton-eating demon is clearly superior to any elf. And what a great deal to get a Dany aquarium at the same time, for only four monthly payments of $19.99. "A Lannister always pays his installments."



(By the way, if you call that 1-800 number, it takes you to Santa's Naughty or Nice hotline.)



"Game of Thrones" Season 8 is now filming, for a (probable) 2019 release on HBO.



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