Memorable Quotes from Bill Cobbs
12 quotesPreparation for a Night at the Museum
Cecil
Larry. Your keys, your torch.
Larry Daley
Right.
Cecil
You're gonna wanna strap those to your belt. Now, it can get a little spooky around here at night, so you might wanna put a few lights on. All right, flashlight, keys. What am I for...? Oh. The instruction manual.
Gus
Instructions. You start with one, two, three...
Larry Daley
Four?
Gus
Are you crackin wise? I oughta punch you in the nose, hopscotch.
Reginald
Leave him alone, Gus. You got it covered, right, Larry?
Larry Daley
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Gus
You better get it!
Cecil
Gus. Larry, do them in order, do them all and do them quick. And the most important thing of all to remember: don't let anything in or out.
Larry Daley
Out?
Cecil
Good luck, son.
Larry Daley
Night, Gus.
Gus
Young buck, crackin wise.
Cecil
Moving on.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Craftsmanship and Personal Growth
Glinda
Well done, Tinker. Your machine works beautifully!
Master Tinker
That's just workmanship. What you displayed was real ]. Your father would be more than proud of you. He would marvel at the woman you've become.
[[courage]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unusual Baseball Bat Size Situation
Tipton
Sorry Ed, we don't carry baseball bats your size.
Chubb
We do now.
[laughing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Luck and Skill in Nine-Ball Pool
Narrator
Nine-ball is rotation pool, the balls are pocketed in numbered order. The only ball that means anything, that wins it, is the 9. Now, the player can shoot eight trick shots in a row, blow the 9, and lose. On the other hand, the player can get the 9 in on the break, if the balls spread right, and win. Which is to say, that luck plays a part in nine-ball. But for some players, luck itself is an art.
Orvis
You know who you got stakehorsin here for you? This here's Fast Eddie Felson. Who the hell are you? The end of the world?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dribbling and Drooling in Sports
Referee #1
Does he dribble?
Arthur Chaney
No, but he might drool a little bit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Substitution During the Game
Arthur Chaney
Larry, out!
Larry Willingham
What? Why are you taking me out?
Arthur Chaney
Josh, go on in for Larry, huh?
Buck Willingham
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Arthur Chaney
Time, ref!
Buck Willingham
Why are you taking my kid out?
Arthur Chaney
Because he's playing like a one-man team.
Buck Willingham
This boy is the team!
Arthur Chaney
Maybe he is to a worked-up father, but to me he's a player who's got a whole lot to learn. Now I'll kindly ask you to take your seat, Mr. Willingham. Let me get back to coaching my team.
Buck Willingham
Come on, Larry. We're leaving.
Larry Willingham
But, Dad?
Buck Willingham
Now!
Arthur Chaney
Check in, Josh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recognizing Inner Goodness and Potential
Glinda
For the record, I knew you’d had it in you all along.
Oz
Greatness?
Glinda
No...better than that: Goodness.
Master Tinker
Now, Knuck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Substituting a Dog in Basketball Game
Warriors Head Coach
What the heck's going on here?
Arthur Chaney
I'll handle this, Josh.
Referee #2
Look, the Timberwolves wanna substitute a dog.
Warriors Head Coach
What, are they nuts?
Arthur Chaney
Dog's a registered member of the team. He practices with the team, he travels with the team. You check your rule book. Bet you won't find anything in there that says a dog can't play.
Referee #1
He's right. Ain't no rule that says a dog can't play basketball.
Buck Willingham
This is a joke! I mean, dogs don't play basketball!
Arthur Chaney
What's the matter, gentlemen? Afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Warriors Head Coach & Buck Willingham
Put him in!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Night Guard's Return to Duty
Reginald
Hey, Larry.
Larry Daley
So, I was thinking maybe I'll give it one more night.
Cecil
I'm glad you came around. Welcome back.
Dr. McPhee
You! New night guard, here, now.
Larry Daley
What's up?
Dr. McPhee
What's up?" Oh. Well, take a walk with me, and I'll show you, Mr. "What's up". Come on. So, would you kindly do me the favor of explaining this?
Larry Daley
Ooh. Okay. I'm guessing and I'm just spitballing here but looks like that Roman dude got cocky and climbed over into the Wild West. And that cowboy knows the Roman dude wants to take over his territory, so he rounded up a posse and put him in the stockade.
Dr. McPhee
Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard. "No", is the answer. Sarcasm back at ya with your... humor box. I wasn't laughing. I was pretending to laugh, if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor. Do you?
[laughs sarcastically]
Larry Daley
No. I don't want a... No, I don't want a battle of humor.
Dr. McPhee
No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath. Nothing funny about Little Bighorn. No. I find it about as funny as a "fancist". It's not funny. Okay? And I will not stand for this type of blatant... If I'm not clear, tell me. Am I clear?
Larry Daley
Yeah.
Dr. McPhee
Yeah.
Larry Daley
Hey, Cecil. You got an extra copy of that instruction manual?
Cecil
Oh, no, I'm afraid not, Larry. Listen, I'll tell you what you do. Read some books. Brush up on your history. Helped me a lot when I first started out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Soul's Reckoning in New Jack City
Old Man
(last lines) Idolator! Your soul is required in ]!
[[Hell; shoots and kills Nino]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning About a Dangerous Family
Grandpa Booker
Meanwhile, you be careful. That brother and sister act you mess with are evil, plain and simple.
Fool
Wait a minute, brother and sister?
Grandpa Booker
Brother and sister. Tailend of the craziest family you ever heard of. Every generation more insane than the one before it. Started out as a family running a funeral home, selling cheap coffins for expensive prices. Then they got their fingers into real estate, started making a lot of money taking over people's homes. The more money they got, the greedier they got. The greedier they got, the crazier they got. All sorts of rumors about what's going on in that place. Never proved it because the police never took it serious. But believe me, when I was a kid, none of us ever walked past that house.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dog's Loyalty Amidst Family Conflict
Jackie Framm
That's my son!
Larry Willingham
Water boy! Nice shot.
Norm Snively
I'll take my dog back now.
Josh Framm
He doesn't wanna go with you.
Jackie Framm
What's the problem?
Norm Snively
There's no problem, Mrs. Framm. Your son's had his little fun. Now I think it's time to give me back what is rightfully mine.
Jackie Framm
You know what, Mr. Snively, I believe my son is right. That dog doesn't like you. So the answer is no.
Norm Snively
You don't have any choice, lady. I got papers. I'll see you in court!
[chuckling]
Bailiff
Next case, Snively vs. Framm.
Judge Cranfield
Is this one of your high-profile divorce cases?
Bailiff
No, sir, it's custody.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, custody. Holy Toledo, what is that dog doing in the courthouse?
Bailiff
That's the, uh, child, sir.
Judge Cranfield
That's a pretty ugly kid.
Bailiff
It's a dog.
Judge Cranfield
What?
Bailiff
The case is about custody of a dog.
Judge Cranfield
All right, I'll take it, but we have to do this seriously. I will not have my courtroom turned into some kind of a circus. Who the hell are you?
Norm Snively
Mr. Norman F. Snively, your honor. I'm the plaintiff.
Judge Cranfield
You look like an idiot.
Norm Snively
Why, thank you, sir. You see, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. And begging to your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to your honor if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.
Judge Cranfield
Whatever, whatever. You go first, clown.
Norm Snively
Well, the fact is, your honor, that dog's my property, and I have papers to prove it.
Judge Cranfield
Well, would you show them to me, please?
Norm Snively
Well, actually, your honor, I had papers to prove it. But that boy, that young hooligan, because of his irresponsible and criminal activity, is responsible for what you see.
Judge Cranfield
Order!
Norm Snively
You see, sir, when I lost my dog for the first time, it broke me up real bad. When I lost him the second time, it darn near killed me. Hell's bells, your honor, all I wanna do is get Old Blue back. So it can be him and me together, just like it always was.
Josh Framm
Why, so you can abuse him some more?
Judge Cranfield
That will be enough, young man.
Norm Snively
I raised that dog from a puppy. I wouldn't harm a hair on his head!
Judge Cranfield
Bailiff, what is that?
Bailiff
The dog, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Oh. Order! Quiet!
Josh Framm
It's the gavel, sir.
Judge Cranfield
What? Speak up! Bailiff!
Bailiff
You said speak.
Judge Cranfield
Speak! Will somebody please suppress that dog?
Norm Snively & Josh Framm
Shh!
Judge Cranfield
Oh, what a day. What a day. Now then, young man, have you any evidence that this man abused your dog? Did you ever see him hit the dog?
Josh Framm
Well, no.
Judge Cranfield
Then how did you know the dog was abused?
Josh Framm
Because Buddy doesn't like him. Buddy's my friend. I know what he's feeling, so he knows what I'm feeling.
Jackie Framm
He's telling the truth, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Who's that?
Bailiff
The boy's mother.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, it's all right, you may sp... You may address the court.
Jackie Framm
When we first moved to this town, my son was very unhappy. And then he found Buddy here. And Buddy's given him something to look forward to. Please, please, don't take Buddy away from my son.
Judge Cranfield
Mrs. Framm, as far as this court is concerned, the dog is property unless you have evidence...
Jackie Framm
All of these people did not come here because of a piece of property, your honor. They came here because of Buddy. He's part of this town. He's part of the team, and he's part of our family now, your honor.
Norm Snively
Well, he's part of my family too! He's like a son to me! Aw, shut up!
Arthur Chaney
Why not let the dog choose, your honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?
Judge Cranfield
Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?
Arthur Chaney
Arthur Chaney, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, do you reali... Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, 56? Huh. I was at that Celtics game where you did the turnaround jumper at the buzzer. I spilled beer all over my wife.
Bailiff
Your honor.
Judge Cranfield
What? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mr. Chaney.
Arthur Chaney
Well, I've been thinking. This dog is what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult in our years. I say let Buddy decide.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamamie proposals, but this one I like.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.