Caroline Aaron Quotes

Jonah Baldwin He's not sane enough to judge anything. Now he's kissing her on the lips. She's a ho! My dad's been captured by a ho! What am I going to do?

Dr. Marcia Fieldstone Jonah, calm down. Tomorrow, when you're sitting down to breakfast, tell him how you feel. It's not good to keep your feelings inside you.

Annie Schmidt What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?

Jenko It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up.

Annie Schmidt You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with ] before he got sober, when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!

Doris You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.

Harry Block Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!

Doris You're a self-hating Jew!

Harry Block Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.

Dr. Marcia Fieldstone People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?

Sam Baldwin Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.

Dr. Marcia Fieldstone What are you going to do?

Sam Baldwin Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.

Dr. Marcia Fieldstone Tell me what was so special about your wife?

Sam Baldwin Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.