Memorable Quotes from Charles Barkley
3 quotesCharles Barkley's Unexpected Encounter with Fans
Teenage girl
You're... You're Charles Barkley.
[Surprised; Charles nods]
Teenage girl #2
Who you talking to?
Teenage girl
Girls, come on over. Hurry up, hurry. Look! It's Charles Barkley.
[Calling to her friends]
Charles Barkley
Hey, can I play?
Teenage girls
Sure!
[Agreeing]
Teenage girl
You're not Charles Barkley. Just a wannabe who looks like him. Sorry. Break out. You shouldn't even be here! Be gone. Wannabe! Be gone!
Doctor
Just a few more tests, gentlemen. Tests for electrolyte levels, glucose, CBC's, RBC's, et cetera. and we've scheduled a 12-lead stress test and neurological battery to include EEG, the reflex test...
Charles Barkley
And t-this girl... 5 feet nothing... blocked my shot.
Charles Barkley
It wasn't a dream! It really happened!
Larry Johnson
And it climbed up my back, and into my brain.
[Stands up]
Psychiatrist
Are there any other areas, besides basketball...where you find yourself...
Barry White's voice
Yeah.
Psychiatrist
...unable to perform?
Barry White's voice
Yeah, yeah.
Patrick Ewing
No!
[Sits up, irritated]
Psychiatrist
Just asking.
Larry Johnson
I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-rayed, laser beamed...
Charles Barkley
I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash-talk.
Shawn Bradley
I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm.
Psychiatrist
Really?
Shawn Bradley
Or maybe... I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again.
[Then it's Muggsy's turn]
Muggsy Bogues
What are you saying? That I'm tryna disobey my mama?
Psychiatrist
I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.
Muggsy Bogues
But I love my mama.
Patrick Ewing
Still can't find anything wrong with us.
Muggsy Bogues
Hey, maybe there's nothing wrong with us.
Larry Johnson
That's right, Muggs. Maybe it's just in our heads.
Muggsy Bogues
We're fine. It's just some psychosomatic deal, or something to do with the moon or the alignment of the planet.
Charles Barkley
I'll never go out with ] again.
[[Madonna]
Golfer
What are you doing?
Stan Podolak
I'm, uh...I'm fixing a divot.
[Stops and sees him]
Golfer
Oh. He's fixing a divot!
[Walking back and yelling to his friends]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Basketball Game Disruptions and Apologies
Bang
Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.
Nawt
Excuse me.
[They sit down next to a woman and a man.]
Bupkus
Ow! Get your feet out of my nose!
Nawt
Quiet, they're looking. Hey, it's basketball.
[Shushing, then to Bang and Blanko]
Bang
Where?
[Opens the coat]
Blanko
Whoa, now what?
Nawt
Hey hey!
Pound
What, what?
Nawt
She's looking again.
Bang
Close it up. Close it up.
[Closing the coat]
Blanko
Tightly.
Bupkus
You poked me again!
[Exclaims; He groans as the woman gets uncomfortable sitting next to them and she turns to her husband.]
Woman fan
Sweetheart?
Male fan
What?
Woman fan
I thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
Male fan
This is as good as I could get.
Woman fan
This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Male fan
Honey, will ya just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us.
[Annoyed]
Bang
Hey, someone's killing someone.
[Quietly]
Blanko
No. Seriously?
Pound
Wow, a killer. Let me see.
Nawt
There, that's him. The killer! He's big.
[Sees Charles Barkley and points at him]
Blanko
He's good.
[Smiling]
Pound
He's mine!
[Pushes down Blanko and smiles evilly; Closes the jacket]
Nawt
Okay, go get him.
Pound
Yeah, watch out.
Suns Player
Come on, get back on defense. Come on. Get back on "D", man!
[Pulling Charles by the jersey]
Paul Westphal
What are you doing?
Paul Westphal
Time-out! Call a time-out!
Suns player
What's wrong with you, man? You're killing us!
Nawt
Okay, let him in. Open up.
Blanko
Open.
Bupkus
Wow! He did it!
[happily]
Pound
I got it! I got his talent!
[Comes out of the ball and smiles gleefully; Pointing to Charles Barkley's talent]
Bang
All right!
Blanko
Super.
Paul Westphal
Sit down, Chuck.
Charles Barkley
Hey, man. I'm fine. I am fine.
[Sits down and grabs a towel]
Paul Westphal
No, no, no. I'm playing you too many minutes.
Charles Barkley
I'm not tired.
Paul Westphal
Go get the doctor.
[To assistant coach]
Knicks Player #1
What's up, man? You all right?
Patrick Ewing
Yeah, man.
Knicks Player #1
You sure?
Knicks Player #2
Come on, we're okay. We're okay. You're all right. Come on, let's go.
Referee
Come on, Patrick, it's show time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of a Basketball Team
Charles Barkley
Guys...we suck.
[Sits down]
Larry Johnson
Yeah, man. My grandmother played better than I do.
Muggsy Bogues
At least you guys are still tall. I'm nothing now. Just another short guy.
Charles Barkley
You got that right.
Larry Johnson
That's the only thing that's right.
Patrick Ewing
Who's that?
Larry Johnson
Who's that?
Muggsy Bogues
I don't know.
Michael Jordan
Been getting your butts kicked, haven't you?
Muggsy Bogues
Who's that?
Charles Barkley
It's Mike.
Muggsy Bogues
What's up?
Patrick Ewing
Hey, man. What you doing here?
Michael Jordan
Don't be embarrassed. Just face it. You guys stink.
Larry Johnson
Come on, Mike, lighten up.
Michael Jordan
I know, and you want your games back, huh? What little games you had to begin with.
Shawn Bradley
It's hard enough as it is, Mike.
Charles Barkley
Come on, give us a break.
Michael Jordan
I'm gonna regret this. Stan, give me the ball.
Larry Johnson
Look at that.
Muggsy Bogues
Look like something from ].
[[w:List of Star Trek films|Star Trek]
Michael Jordan
Touch it.
Shawn Bradley
No way. Jose.
[Shaking his head]
Michael Jordan
Pat, you want your talent back? You don't have any other choice. Just touch it.
Patrick Ewing
I don't know, man.
Larry Johnson
Don't touch that, man.
Michael Jordan
Okay, you're gonna walk around wit a bad game for the rest of your career. Touch the ball.
Shawn Bradley
Be careful, Pat. We've tried everything else.
Patrick Ewing
Thank goodness.
Michael Jordan
Come on, Charles. Touch it. The rest of you guys. Just touch it.
Larry Johnson
Oh, man!
Charles Barkley
What was that?
Muggsy Bogues
Hey. Hey, I caught it!
[Dribbling the ball and doing the "rock"]
Patrick Ewing
Hey, look at Muggsy handle the rock. Handle it, baby.
Muggsy Bogues
I can handle that rock again!
[Passes the ball to Larry]
Larry Johnson
That's the old Muggs I know.
Patrick Ewing
Yeah, get height now. Yeah!
[Larry slam dunks the ball]
Larry Johnson
It gave me my powers back!
Charles Barkley
That wasn't bad. Let me show you something.
[Takes the ball]
Larry Johnson
Let me see. Whoo!
[Charles slam dunks the ball]
Patrick Ewing
The Round Mound is back. You wanna see something? Oh, man that felt good.
[Takes the ball; Slam dunks the ball]
Shawn Bradley
I got it.
[Slam dunks the ball]
Muggsy Bogues
You got it. Yeah, baby.
Charles Barkley
Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay? Play some 3-on-3 with us.
Michael Jordan
No. I don't think so.
Charles Barkley
What are you gonna do, work on that baseball swing?
Patrick Ewing
Now leave the baseball player alone, man. You know he doesn't play basketball anymore.
Shawn Bradley
You know, he probably doesn't even have it anymore, guys.
Stan Podolak
Michael, do you hear them? They don't think you can play the game anymore.
Michael Jordan
There's only one way to find out.
Announcer on P.A.
The Chicago Bulls welcome back... Michael Jordan!
Larry Bird
What's the matter, Bill?
[concerned]
Bill Murray
Larry, that could've been me.
Larry Bird
Will you get off that kick? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray
Okay. Let's go Bulls!
[Voice breaking]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.