Space Jam - Struggles of a Basketball Team
Charles Barkley: [Sits down]
Guys...we suck.
Larry Johnson:
Yeah, man. My grandmother played better than I do.
Muggsy Bogues:
At least you guys are still tall. I'm nothing now. Just another short guy.
Charles Barkley:
You got that right.
Larry Johnson:
That's the only thing that's right.
Patrick Ewing:
Who's that?
Larry Johnson:
Who's that?
Muggsy Bogues:
I don't know.
Michael Jordan:
Been getting your butts kicked, haven't you?
Muggsy Bogues:
Who's that?
Charles Barkley:
It's Mike.
Muggsy Bogues:
What's up?
Patrick Ewing:
Hey, man. What you doing here?
Michael Jordan:
Don't be embarrassed. Just face it. You guys stink.
Larry Johnson:
Come on, Mike, lighten up.
Michael Jordan:
I know, and you want your games back, huh? What little games you had to begin with.
Shawn Bradley:
It's hard enough as it is, Mike.
Charles Barkley:
Come on, give us a break.
Michael Jordan:
I'm gonna regret this. Stan, give me the ball.
Larry Johnson:
Look at that.
Muggsy Bogues: [[w:List of Star Trek films|Star Trek]
Look like something from ].
Michael Jordan:
Touch it.
Shawn Bradley: [Shaking his head]
No way. Jose.
Michael Jordan:
Pat, you want your talent back? You don't have any other choice. Just touch it.
Patrick Ewing:
I don't know, man.
Larry Johnson:
Don't touch that, man.
Michael Jordan:
Okay, you're gonna walk around wit a bad game for the rest of your career. Touch the ball.
Shawn Bradley:
Be careful, Pat. We've tried everything else.
Patrick Ewing:
Thank goodness.
Michael Jordan:
Come on, Charles. Touch it. The rest of you guys. Just touch it.
Larry Johnson:
Oh, man!
Charles Barkley:
What was that?
Muggsy Bogues: [Dribbling the ball and doing the "rock"]
Hey. Hey, I caught it!
Patrick Ewing:
Hey, look at Muggsy handle the rock. Handle it, baby.
Muggsy Bogues: [Passes the ball to Larry]
I can handle that rock again!
Larry Johnson:
That's the old Muggs I know.
Patrick Ewing: [Larry slam dunks the ball]
Yeah, get height now. Yeah!
Larry Johnson:
It gave me my powers back!
Charles Barkley: [Takes the ball]
That wasn't bad. Let me show you something.
Larry Johnson: [Charles slam dunks the ball]
Let me see. Whoo!
Patrick Ewing: [Takes the ball; Slam dunks the ball]
The Round Mound is back. You wanna see something? Oh, man that felt good.
Shawn Bradley: [Slam dunks the ball]
I got it.
Muggsy Bogues:
You got it. Yeah, baby.
Charles Barkley:
Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay? Play some 3-on-3 with us.
Michael Jordan:
No. I don't think so.
Charles Barkley:
What are you gonna do, work on that baseball swing?
Patrick Ewing:
Now leave the baseball player alone, man. You know he doesn't play basketball anymore.
Shawn Bradley:
You know, he probably doesn't even have it anymore, guys.
Stan Podolak:
Michael, do you hear them? They don't think you can play the game anymore.
Michael Jordan:
There's only one way to find out.
Announcer on P.A.:
The Chicago Bulls welcome back... Michael Jordan!
Larry Bird: [concerned]
What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray:
Larry, that could've been me.
Larry Bird:
Will you get off that kick? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: [Voice breaking]
Okay. Let's go Bulls!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Space Jam - Charles Barkley's Unexpected Encounter with Fans
Teenage girl: [Surprised; Charles nods]
You're... You're Charles Barkley.
Teenage girl #2:
Who you talking to?
Teenage girl: [Calling to her friends]
Girls, come on over. Hurry up, hurry. Look! It's Charles Barkley.
Charles Barkley:
Hey, can I play?
Teenage girls: [Agreeing]
Sure!
Teenage girl:
You're not Charles Barkley. Just a wannabe who looks like him. Sorry. Break out. You shouldn't even be here! Be gone. Wannabe! Be gone!
Doctor:
Just a few more tests, gentlemen. Tests for electrolyte levels, glucose, CBC's, RBC's, et cetera. and we've scheduled a 12-lead stress test and neurological battery to include EEG, the reflex test...
Charles Barkley:
And t-this girl... 5 feet nothing... blocked my shot.
Charles Barkley:
It wasn't a dream! It really happened!
Larry Johnson: [Stands up]
And it climbed up my back, and into my brain.
Psychiatrist:
Are there any other areas, besides basketball...where you find yourself...
Barry White's voice:
Yeah.
Psychiatrist:
...unable to perform?
Barry White's voice:
Yeah, yeah.
Patrick Ewing: [Sits up, irritated]
No!
Psychiatrist:
Just asking.
Larry Johnson:
I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-rayed, laser beamed...
Charles Barkley:
I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash-talk.
Shawn Bradley:
I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm.
Psychiatrist:
Really?
Shawn Bradley: [Then it's Muggsy's turn]
Or maybe... I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again.
Muggsy Bogues:
What are you saying? That I'm tryna disobey my mama?
Psychiatrist:
I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.
Muggsy Bogues:
But I love my mama.
Patrick Ewing:
Still can't find anything wrong with us.
Muggsy Bogues:
Hey, maybe there's nothing wrong with us.
Larry Johnson:
That's right, Muggs. Maybe it's just in our heads.
Muggsy Bogues:
We're fine. It's just some psychosomatic deal, or something to do with the moon or the alignment of the planet.
Charles Barkley: [[Madonna]
I'll never go out with ] again.
Golfer:
What are you doing?
Stan Podolak: [Stops and sees him]
I'm, uh...I'm fixing a divot.
Golfer: [Walking back and yelling to his friends]
Oh. He's fixing a divot!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Space Jam - Basketball Game Disruptions and Apologies
Bang:
Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.
Nawt: [They sit down next to a woman and a man.]
Excuse me.
Bupkus:
Ow! Get your feet out of my nose!
Nawt: [Shushing, then to Bang and Blanko]
Quiet, they're looking. Hey, it's basketball.
Bang: [Opens the coat]
Where?
Blanko:
Whoa, now what?
Nawt:
Hey hey!
Pound:
What, what?
Nawt:
She's looking again.
Bang: [Closing the coat]
Close it up. Close it up.
Blanko:
Tightly.
Bupkus: [Exclaims; He groans as the woman gets uncomfortable sitting next to them and she turns to her husband.]
You poked me again!
Woman fan:
Sweetheart?
Male fan:
What?
Woman fan:
I thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
Male fan:
This is as good as I could get.
Woman fan:
This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Male fan: [Annoyed]
Honey, will ya just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us.
Bang: [Quietly]
Hey, someone's killing someone.
Blanko:
No. Seriously?
Pound:
Wow, a killer. Let me see.
Nawt: [Sees Charles Barkley and points at him]
There, that's him. The killer! He's big.
Blanko: [Smiling]
He's good.
Pound: [Pushes down Blanko and smiles evilly; Closes the jacket]
He's mine!
Nawt:
Okay, go get him.
Pound:
Yeah, watch out.
Suns Player: [Pulling Charles by the jersey]
Come on, get back on defense. Come on. Get back on "D", man!
Paul Westphal:
What are you doing?
Paul Westphal:
Time-out! Call a time-out!
Suns player:
What's wrong with you, man? You're killing us!
Nawt:
Okay, let him in. Open up.
Blanko:
Open.
Bupkus: [happily]
Wow! He did it!
Pound: [Comes out of the ball and smiles gleefully; Pointing to Charles Barkley's talent]
I got it! I got his talent!
Bang:
All right!
Blanko:
Super.
Paul Westphal:
Sit down, Chuck.
Charles Barkley: [Sits down and grabs a towel]
Hey, man. I'm fine. I am fine.
Paul Westphal:
No, no, no. I'm playing you too many minutes.
Charles Barkley:
I'm not tired.
Paul Westphal: [To assistant coach]
Go get the doctor.
Knicks Player #1:
What's up, man? You all right?
Patrick Ewing:
Yeah, man.
Knicks Player #1:
You sure?
Knicks Player #2:
Come on, we're okay. We're okay. You're all right. Come on, let's go.
Referee:
Come on, Patrick, it's show time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.