David Alan Grier Quotes - Best Lines & Interviews

Memorable Quotes from David Alan Grier

8 quotes

Jumanji

Unexpected Sightings in a Busy Scene

Sarah Whittle Thank you. Come on.

Judy Shepherd What's going on?

Sarah Whittle Apparently there's a sale happening. You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn't you?

[monkeys on a police motorcycle ride by]

Judy Shepherd Yes.

Sarah Whittle Good girl. Come on. Well, maybe we can bail him out with a check.

[they go up to an ATM but discover it's out of service]

Van Pelt Thanks. You tell that sniveling coward from me, if he wants-- Hey! Get out of my way! Give me that, boy!

[takes the game back]

Peter Shepherd Hey! Help me! Get me outta here!

[Peter is trapped in a car due to a rhino crushing it]

Sarah Whittle It's all right.

Judy Shepherd Oh, my God, Peter.

Sarah Whittle Come on.

[They run to Sir Sav-a-Lot.]

Judy Shepherd There it is!

[spots the game on a counter]

Sarah Whittle Wait here.

[she goes to retrieve it]

Van Pelt Got ya, girlie. When Alan hears of your predicament, he'll come.

[catches Sarah]

Sarah Whittle He doesn't know I'm here, so this isn't gonna work. I'm going.

Van Pelt Don't move or I'll blow your blinking brains out!

Sarah Whittle Call the cops!

Van Pelt That should do it, don't ya think?

Sarah Whittle Oh, yeah.

Judy Shepherd Price check!

[uses the scanner to temporarily blind Van Pelt]

Alan Parrish If you let me go, I can stop all this. It sounds like something out of the Twilight Zone, but it's true. Please. You gotta help me on this.

Carl Bentley I know I'm gonna regret it. Just hold still. There. I let you go. Now what are we gon’ do?

[removing the handcuffs; throws the handcuff keys and handcuffs Carl to the door]

Alan Parrish You are gonna stay here.

Carl Bentley Those are my keys!

Alan Parrish It's for your own good. You just stay there.

Carl Bentley My handcuff keys. Wait.

Alan Parrish This is something I have to do.

Carl Bentley Alan!

Alan Parrish You'll thank me someday.

Carl Bentley Lorraine, come in. Lorraine!

Alan Parrish What's Sir Sav-a-lot?

Carl Bentley It's a discount store.

Alan Parrish Move over.

Carl Bentley Wait. Gently.

Alan Parrish All right. Don't worry. I've done this before once.

Alan Parrish Where's Sir Sav-a-Lot?

Carl Bentley Monroe and Elm.

Alan Parrish The Episcopal church.

Carl Bentley No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a Speedy Burger, or at least it was. I don't know what's left of it. People in this town are goin loopy.

Sarah Whittle Judy!

Alan Parrish We got company.

Carl Bentley It's all right. That's a traffic cop. He'll back us up.

[The same monkeys from before ride up]

Judy Shepherd Here's the game.

Sarah Whittle Come on. Get outta here.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jumanji

Casual Greetings Among Jumanji Characters

Miss Magruder Hi, Alan.

Young Alan Parrish Hi, Miss Magruder.

Frank Good afternoon, Alan.

Young Alan Parrish Hey, Frank.

Bill All yours, Alan.

[holds traffic for him]

Young Alan Parrish Thanks, Bill.

Billy Jessup Get him!

Billy Jessup Prepare to die, Parrish! Hey, Parrish, what's the rush?

Bully He's goin to his dad's factory! Alan wants his daddy now!

Billy Jessup Go ahead, Parrish. Run to Daddy. We'll be waiting.

Young Alan Parrish Hi, Carl.

[he walks upstairs to see Carl]

Carl Bentley Hey, Alan, my man, I gotta show you somethin’. Come here. Now, I've been workin’ on this for almost a year. I got an appointment this afternoon with your father to show him this. Go ahead. Take it. So what do ya think? Ya think he'll like it?

[shows him the prototype of the shoe he’s been working on]

Young Alan Parrish What is it?

Carl Bentley What is it? Man, this is the future. If I can get Wilt Chamberlain to wear em... I predict there'll be a pair of those in every closet in America. That's gonna be the height of fashion. What's wrong?

[concerned'']

Young Alan Parrish Nothin'.

Sam Parrish Alan! Thanks, Bob. What are you doing here? I've told you before. This factory isn't a playground. It's dangerous.

Young Alan Parrish Dad, can I have a ride home?

[The belt starts up]

Sam Parrish Look, Alan. Is Billy Jessup picking on you again? Son, you're gonna have to face him sooner or later. Look, if you're afraid of something, you've got to stand and face it. Now, run on, son. Carl, you should know better than to let the boy play in here.

Carl Bentley Sorry, sir.

Sam Parrish Now, what was it you wanted to show me?

Carl Bentley Just a minute, sir.

[looking for the shoe]

Sam Parrish What the devil--

[the shoe has been shredded]

Man Get an extinguisher.

Sam Parrish Who did this? Well?

[Alan walks down the stairs as Sam pulls what’s left of the shoe off the belt]

Carl Bentley I did, sir.

[covering for Alan]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

In the Army Now

Unexpected Call About Migrating Geese

Bones Conway Jack! Get the phone.

Jack Kaufmann Who is it?

Bones It's a freak calling about wild geese migrating.

Christine Jones Bones!

[as Jack dials; pulls him near-naked out for everybody to see]

Bones Wha- No, don't. Christine, don't. Look.

Christine Which way?

Bones Who cares?

Christine North or south?

Bones South.

Christine Yes! Yes, yes!

Bones What?

Christine You guys, don't you remember? About the code? So that if we got called up for active duty then we would know it was for real.

[sees Bones and Jack nonplussed]

Bones It's gotta be a mistake.

Christine It's gotta be Chad.

Fred Ostroff Hello, Mama? It's Frederick. Uh, you sittin down?

Christine Chad is the African country, the one that Libya's about to invade.

Jack Uh, turn off the music.

[attendees groan]

Fred Do you remember when you told me that every Black man should visit the motherland?

Christine Bones, why do you think I chose water purification?

Bones Mmm, is your brother a pool man?

Christine Jones No. It's because Chad is in a desert. And water purification is the Reserve occupation most likely to be called up if there's a desert war. And there's a desert war, and we're going!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jumanji

Describing a Mysterious Creature in Jumanji

Carl Bentley Gimme that description again.

[calling dispatch in his cruiser]

Radio I said, red fur and long tail.

Carl Bentley Get down off of my car, please. And get up on the sidewalk.

[Alan jumps up on Carl’s cop car]

Alan Parrish What ] is it?

[[year]

Carl Bentley It was brand new.

Alan Parrish No. What year is it?

Judy Shepherd Uh, 1995, remember?

Alan Parrish 95.

Carl Bentley You got some I.D.? Oh, let me guess. You left it in your other ] outfit, right?

[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]

Alan Parrish Twenty-six years.

Carl Bentley Are you from around here?

Alan Parrish I was! But I've been in Jumanji.

Judy Shepherd Indonesia. He was in the ].

[[w:Peace Corps|the Peace Corps]

Alan Parrish Bentley. Carl Bentley, the Soleman.

[looking at Carl’s badge and whispering to himself]

Carl Bentley Is this man related to you?

[About Alan, still dressed in jungle garb]

Judy Shepherd Yes, sir. He's our uncle.

Carl Bentley Does he always dress like that?

Judy Shepherd Well, yeah, he's a vegetarian.

Alan Parrish Get out of there! Monkeys! Monkeys.

[notices 2 monkeys inside Carl's car; Screeches and makes monkey noises; to Judy, Peter, and Carl]

Carl Bentley Is he all right upstairs?

[Taps at his temple]

Judy Shepherd Uh, he suffered a head injury a few months ago.

Carl Bentley Hey! Hey-- What? Don't you move! Freeze! Hey!

[the monkeys discharge the shotgun and drive away]

Alan Parrish Don't move. Don't move.

Judy Shepherd Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going?

Alan Parrish To find my parents!

Judy Shepherd Come on.

[to Peter; She and Peter follow Alan]

Judy Shepherd Wait!

Alan Parrish My dad used to make shoes here. They were the best shoes in New England. Hey! Sorry.

[barges into the office]

Shoe Factory Bum Easy, girl.

[his dog attempts to get up, but he stops her]

Alan Parrish Sorry. Do you know what happened to this shoe factory?

Shoe Factory Bum Yeah, it folded up, like everything else in this town. Hey, it's pretty cold out there. How bout some coffee?

Alan Parrish Why would they close Parrish Shoes?

Shoe Factory Bum Well, when his kid ran away, Sam put all he had into trying to find him. His time, his money. Everything. After a while, he stopped comin to work. He just quit caring. I don't think anybody loved his boy more than Sam did. Here. You're gonna freeze out there.

[gives him some clothes]

Alan Parrish Thank you. Are the Parrishes still around?

Shoe Factory Bum I see em now and then.

Alan Parrish Yeah?

Shoe Factory Bum They're over on Adams Street.

Judy Shepherd Our parents are dead too. They were in the Middle East negotiating peace when--

Peter Shepherd Our dad was in advertising.

[glares at Judy]

Alan Parrish I bet you miss him, huh? Me too.

[Alan places his hat on the headstone and walks away]

Judy Shepherd There he goes again.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jumanji

Tension Builds Amidst Chaos in Jumanji Scene

Carl Bentley Turn the siren off. Right there!

Alan Parrish I got it.

Carl Bentley Okay!

Van Pelt Stop your cringing, woman. I could have shot you at any moment.

Sarah Whittle Then why didn't you?

Van Pelt You didn't roll the dice. Alan did.

Carl Bentley There it is. Hit the brakes. Hit the brakes!

Alan Parrish I'm hittin em.

Carl Bentley Hit the brakes!

Alan Parrish I'm hittin the brakes!

Van Pelt He should be here any moment.

Alan Parrish Sarah! You're all right?

[the car plows into the store knocking shelves over and burying Van Pelt in paint cans]

Sarah Whittle Yes.

Alan Parrish Where's Peter?

Peter Shepherd I'm here.

Alan Parrish Oh, great.

Self-help tape So remember, circumstances are never ever out of your control. End of tape three.

Carl Bentley I got it.

[using a hacksaw to free himself from the door]

Sarah Whittle Alan, talk to him. Please?

Alan Parrish What? We don't have time for this, okay?

Sarah Whittle I know, but he's a kid and he was trying to help.

Alan Parrish All right.

Sarah Whittle Thank you.

Alan Parrish I warned you about this, Peter. No, you wanted to play the game. What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

[to Peter]

Alan Parrish I'm sorry. Twenty-six years buried in the jungle and I still became my father. It's okay. Come here. I'm sorry. Hey. It's all right. Remember what you told me? It's all right to be afraid.

Peter Shepherd It's not that.

Alan Parrish What is it? Okay. Ready? Don't worry. We're gonna have you turned back into your old self in no time flat. Cause we're gonna go in here, and together, we're gonna sit down, we're gonna finish that game, no matter what. Suddenly, I feel right at home.

[whispers in Alan's ear; pulls Peter's tail out of his pants; The house has turned into a swamp]

Carl Bentley Lorraine, this is Carl. I know who's behind this. I'm headin to the Parrish place. Gimme backup. Lorraine?

Aunt Nora Wait!

Carl Bentley Now what?

Aunt Nora Stop! Wait, stop!

Carl Bentley Is there a problem, ma'am?

Aunt Nora Can I have a ride home?

Carl Bentley Where do you live?

Aunt Nora Jefferson Street. The old Parrish place.

Carl Bentley Do you have children? A boy and a girl?

Aunt Nora Oh, my God! What happened?

Carl Bentley Get in. I'll explain it on the way. Fine! Take it! We gotta get to that house.

[a vine from the game has taken Carl's cop car]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jumanji

Choosing the Right Place to Play

Sarah Whittle Shouldn't we play someplace else?

Alan Parrish No. I grew up in this. It's out there that scares me.

Sarah Whittle Okay, it's my turn.

Judy Shepherd Sarah, if you roll a 12, you win.

Sarah Whittle Okay, ready? Here I go.

Alan Parrish It's okay.

Sarah Whittle Every month at the quarter moon, there'll be a monsoon… in your lagoon." Monsoon. Well, at least we're inside.

Alan Parrish Yeah, right.

Sarah Whittle Well, a little rain never hurt anybody.

Alan Parrish Yeah, but a lot could kill ya. Come on. Make way.

Sarah Whittle What do we do now?

Alan Parrish We get to higher ground!

Sarah Whittle Okay.

Alan Parrish Come on! Stay together! Peter! You all right, Peter? Judy!

[a crocodile suddenly appears]

Sarah Whittle Alan.

Alan Parrish What?

Saran Whittle What is that?

Alan Parrish Ah! Swim! Go! Go!

Sarah Whittle Alan!

Alan Parrish Judy, swim fast! Move! Keep goin'! Get on the table! Peter, get out of the water! On the chandelier! Come on, Sarah.

Judy Shepherd Peter!

Alan Parrish Hang on, Sarah!

Judy Shepherd Are you okay?

Sarah Whittle Where is he? Alan!

Judy Shepherd Alan!

Aunt Nora Judy! Peter!

Carl Bentley Ma'am, step back and let me handle this, please. It's probably nothing. They probably left the TV on too loud.

Aunt Nora Peter! Judy!

Carl Bentley I always wanted to do this. Could you step back, please?

[kicks the door. The pressure from the water blows the doors off and they are surfing down the street on the doors as a crocodile swims next to them]

Alan Parrish Alan, give me your hand.

Judy Shepherd Alan!

Peter Shepherd Grab my hand!

Alan Parrish I got it! No!

Peter Shepherd Alan!

Alan Parrish Hey. Take the game. Here you go. You okay?

Sarah Whittle Yeah. Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.

Alan Parrish It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg. Come on.

Sarah Whittle My mistake.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jumanji

Seeking a Replacement Weapon

Gun Salesman What can I do for you?

Van Pelt I want a gross of these.

[hands him a bullet]

Gun Salesman You know, they stopped making these in 1903.

Van Pelt Damn. I shall need a replacement weapon.

Gun Salesman Well, there's a waiting period, and you'll have to... fill out these. Or I could fill these out. Louise. Now, anyone asks, you didn't get this here. You're not a postal worker, are you?

[he places a stack of forms on the counter as Van Pelt drops some coins; Louise stops what she's doing and changes the "Open" sign to "Closed".; hands Van Pelt a new gun; Van Pelt looks at the salesman as if to say, "are you crazy"?]

Sarah Whittle Alan!

Peter Shepherd Alan!

Alan Parrish Quiet. Okay. No!

Sarah and Judy Peter!

Judy Shepherd Peter, that was great.

[Peter has successfully gotten the game back]

Sarah Whittle Are you okay?

Judy Shepherd I can't believe you did that. That was so cool. You gave me chills.

Sarah Whittle It was great. Alan.

Alan Parrish It's nice work. Come on, gimme the game. Let's go.

Alan Parrish Oh, no. Act natural.

[Carl notices Alan]

Carl Bentley Hey!

Alan Parrish Hide the game.

Carl Bentley I don't believe this. Every time there's trouble, I run into you.

Alan Parrish Me? I don't know what you're talking about.

Carl Bentley All right, I'm taking you in for questioning.

[arresting Alan]

Alan Parrish I'm not going anywhere.

Sarah Whittle Just a second. You can't take him. He's--

Judy Shepherd Her fiancé.

Carl Bentley Wait a minute, I thought you said he was your uncle.

Alan Parrish It's all right. I'll be back soon.

Van Pelt Blast!

[fails to shoot Alan]

Sarah Whittle Remember you said you'd never abandon your friends?

Alan Parrish We'll finish the game later. Okay?

Sarah Whittle Later?

Alan Parrish Van Pelt. Van Pelt.

Carl Bentley I suggest you all go home now.

Alan Parrish Okay.

Judy Shepherd Now how are we supposed to finish the game?

Sarah Whittle We can't. We can't finish it without him.

Peter Shepherd Judy!

[Has set the game on a stump and rolled the dices; Sarah and Judy run over]

Judy Shepherd What?

Sarah Whittle What happened?

Peter Shepherd I thought I could end the game myself. I was only ten spaces away.

Judy Shepherd A law of Jumanji having been broken; you will slip back even more than your token.

[Reads a notice in the center of the board]

Sarah Whittle You tried to cheat?

Peter Shepherd No. I tried to drop the dice so they'd land on 12.

Sarah Whittle Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be cheating.

Judy Shepherd Peter, your hands! Look at your hands!

Carl Bentley What is this about? I know you know.

Alan Parrish Yes, I do, but you wouldn't believe me even if I told you, Carl.

Carl Bentley Wait a minute. How do you know my name is Carl?

Alan Parrish I know a lot more than that. I know you used to work on the stamping line at Parrish Shoes. They used to call you Soleman.

Carl Bentley Soleman. Yeah, that's right. I was in there too, until old man Parrish fired me.

Alan Parrish He fired you?

Carl Bentley Yeah, man. And I had something I could've turned this whole town around.

Alan Parrish Your shoes.

Carl Bentley Right.

Alan Parrish Listen, Carl, I know it doesn't mean much after 26 years, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Carl Bentley Sorry for what?

Alan Parrish It's me, Alan.

[screeches to a halt]

Jumanji

Emergency Call to Investigate Suspicious Activity

Carl Bentley Oh, my God! My car. Oh, my car.

[Carl finds his car smashed against a tree]

Carl Bentley I can't believe this. Start. Please.

Carl Bentley Carl here.

Carl Bentley You gotta get Stan and Willy on it. I'm headin to the old Parrish place to check a suspicious character, over. I should've been a fireman.

[backing the car up]

Alan Parrish Sarah!

Sarah Whittle Oh, get your hands off me!

[attempting to run away]

Alan Parrish The game is not over yet, Sarah.

Sarah Whittle Well, it is for me. You are not in the jungle anymore. Stop this! You don't treat people like this.

Sarah Whittle Anybody up for iced tea? I'm gonna make some tea.

[they're all in the library sitting at the table; angrily pushes the sword into the floor]

Sarah Whittle Alan, please. Last time I played this game, it ruined my life.

[Sitting down to play the game]

Alan Parrish It ruined your life? "In the jungle you must wait, till the dice read five or eight.

[laughs]

Sarah Whittle I was a little girl, Alan. You disappeared. And a bunch of bats surrounded me and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.

Alan Parrish So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

Sarah Whittle Me too.

Judy Shepherd It's okay, Sarah. We're scared too. But if we finish the game, it'll all go away.

Sarah Whittle What if I get stuck in the game?

Alan Parrish You won't. Because I won't stop playing.

Judy Shepherd And neither will I.

Peter Shepherd I won't either.

Alan Parrish Come on, Sarah.

Judy Shepherd Please?

Sarah Whittle I knew this was gonna be a bad day.

Alan Parrish Hey, come on. We'll be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with the punches.

Alan Parrish A hunter from the darkest wild, makes you feel just like a child.