David Alan Grier

Bones Conway: Jack! Get the phone.

Jack Kaufmann: Who is it?

Bones: It's a freak calling about wild geese migrating.

Christine Jones: [as Jack dials; pulls him near-naked out for everybody to see] Bones!

Bones: Wha- No, don't. Christine, don't. Look.

Christine: Which way?

Bones: Who cares?

Christine: North or south?

Bones: South.

Christine: Yes! Yes, yes!

Bones: What?

Christine: [sees Bones and Jack nonplussed] You guys, don't you remember? About the code? So that if we got called up for active duty then we would know it was for real.

Bones: It's gotta be a mistake.

Christine: It's gotta be Chad.

Fred Ostroff: Hello, Mama? It's Frederick. Uh, you sittin down?

Christine: Chad is the African country, the one that Libya's about to invade.

Jack: [attendees groan] Uh, turn off the music.

Fred: Do you remember when you told me that every Black man should visit the motherland?

Christine: Bones, why do you think I chose water purification?

Bones: Mmm, is your brother a pool man?

Christine Jones: No. It's because Chad is in a desert. And water purification is the Reserve occupation most likely to be called up if there's a desert war. And there's a desert war, and we're going!

Sarah Whittle: Shouldn't we play someplace else?

Alan Parrish: No. I grew up in this. It's out there that scares me.

Sarah Whittle: Okay, it's my turn.

Judy Shepherd: Sarah, if you roll a 12, you win.

Sarah Whittle: Okay, ready? Here I go.

Alan Parrish: It's okay.

Sarah Whittle: Every month at the quarter moon, there'll be a monsoon… in your lagoon." Monsoon. Well, at least we're inside.

Alan Parrish: Yeah, right.

Sarah Whittle: Well, a little rain never hurt anybody.

Alan Parrish: Yeah, but a lot could kill ya. Come on. Make way.

Sarah Whittle: What do we do now?

Alan Parrish: We get to higher ground!

Sarah Whittle: Okay.

Alan Parrish: [a crocodile suddenly appears] Come on! Stay together! Peter! You all right, Peter? Judy!

Sarah Whittle: Alan.

Alan Parrish: What?

Saran Whittle: What is that?

Alan Parrish: Ah! Swim! Go! Go!

Sarah Whittle: Alan!

Alan Parrish: Judy, swim fast! Move! Keep goin'! Get on the table! Peter, get out of the water! On the chandelier! Come on, Sarah.

Judy Shepherd: Peter!

Alan Parrish: Hang on, Sarah!

Judy Shepherd: Are you okay?

Sarah Whittle: Where is he? Alan!

Judy Shepherd: Alan!

Aunt Nora: Judy! Peter!

Carl Bentley: Ma'am, step back and let me handle this, please. It's probably nothing. They probably left the TV on too loud.

Aunt Nora: Peter! Judy!

Carl Bentley: [kicks the door. The pressure from the water blows the doors off and they are surfing down the street on the doors as a crocodile swims next to them] I always wanted to do this. Could you step back, please?

Alan Parrish: Alan, give me your hand.

Judy Shepherd: Alan!

Peter Shepherd: Grab my hand!

Alan Parrish: I got it! No!

Peter Shepherd: Alan!

Alan Parrish: Hey. Take the game. Here you go. You okay?

Sarah Whittle: Yeah. Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.

Alan Parrish: It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg. Come on.

Sarah Whittle: My mistake.