Time Bandits - A Moment of Unusual Goodness
Evil:
Suddenly, I feel very, very good.
Robert:
Oh, I'm sorry, Master.
Evil:
No, it'll pass, it'll pass.
Benson:
Shall I bring them in, Master?
Evil:
Yes, Benson. Bring them into the Time of Legends!
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Time Bandits - The Quest for Technological Supremacy
Evil:
When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Minion:
Uh, understanding of what, Master?
Evil:
Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of video cassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how He spends His time! Forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert:
Slugs.
Evil: [accidentally zaps a minion, who screams]
Slugs! He created slugs. They can't hear! They can't speak! They can't operate machinery! I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic?... If I were creating a world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one! Sorry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Time Bandits - Divine Creation and Its Incompetence
Evil:
What sort of Supreme Being created such riffraff? Is this not the workings of a complete incompetent?
Baxi Brazilia III:
But He created you, Evil One!
Evil:
What did you say?
Baxi: [Evil blows him to bits]
Well He created you, so He can't be totally—
Evil: [Minions applaud]
Never talk to me like that again! No one created me! I am Evil. Evil existed long before good. I made myself. I cannot be unmade. I am all powerful!
Cartwright: [Evil obliterates him]
But why, if that's the case, are you unable to escape from this fortress?
Evil:
It's a good question. Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness?
Robert:
Because you—
Evil:
Shut up. I'm speaking rhetorically.
Robert:
Oh, of course.
Evil:
I let Him keep me here in order to lull Him into a false sense of security.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.