Memorable Quotes from Elizabeth Perkins
22 quotesSkepticism About Golf Among Working Class
Ann Kaye
He'll be there! I told you! He said, he wants to take some golf lessons and see how it goes.
Eva Krichinsky
Golf? He's going to play golf?
Sam Krichinsky
That's what I said when I heard. A working person doesn't play golf. It's for people with sweaters and a cap.
Eva Krichinsky
Where does he get such crazy ideas?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Workplace Challenges and Perceptions of Behavior
Joan
Tomorrow you know, they're going to come at me like marauding beasts bent on destruction.
Debbie
Stop it.
Joan
Deborah, you work in advertising... a civilized business. I on the other hand work with monsters.
Debbie
You're talking about 5 year olds!
Joan
Yes, and my job is to break their spirit. That's what kindergarten is all about. The Germans invented it Deborah, think about that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Provocative Exchange Between Friends
Bernie
You know something Joan, if you didn't have a pussy there'd be a bounty on your head.
Joan
And you are a schizophrenic, psychopathic, maladjusted social misfit who is clearly in the middle of a very deep homosexual panic.
Bernie
So you want to dance or what?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Trust Issues in Relationships
Joan
Look, if he forgets to call one day, no big deal; two days, it's an oversight. Honey, he hasn't called you in three days; he's sleeping with somebody else.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Self-Care and Personal Joy
June
I pray. I meditate. I eat chocolate. I dance.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Cat and Dog Unfolds
Lou
I'm onto you kitty, and you're in big trouble.
[After Mrs. Brody brings home a Russian Blue kitten]
Russian Blue
I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble.
[Deep, male Russian voice]
Lou
Ugh, yuck!
Russian Blue
From Russia with love...
Lou
Uh-oh...
Russian Blue
...stealth poop.
Mrs. Brody
I don't have time for this. Bad dog!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Exchange Over Last Call
Joan
Give me a gin and tonic.
Mother Malone
Last call was ten minutes ago...
Joan
Give me a gin and tonic or I will kill you.
Mother Malone
Just one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Forgotten Munchies in Indian Summer
Jennifer Morton
No, shit the munchies! I forgot all about the munchies!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honesty and Freedom in Facing Illness
June
My tumor, I see it giving me certain freedoms I never allowed myself.
[''suffering from an inoperable brain tumor'']
Dr. MacKee
Yeah, like being incredibly hostile?
June
Like being honest and expecting people around me to do the same.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity About Virginity and Sex Among Kids
Joan
And the Virgin Mary descended upon...
Kid #1
What's a virgin?
Joan
A virgin is someone who's never had sex.
Kid #2
What's sex?
Joan
Sex is something men and women do to make a baby.
Kid #3
Are you a virgin?
Joan
No.
Kid #3
Do you have a baby?
Joan
No. People who don't want babies also have sex.
Kid #3
What for?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wilma's Request for Fred's Discretion
Wilma Flintstone
Fred! And promise me you won't say anything like you did when you saw my sister's baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Hidden Emotions in Relationships
Joan
Men and women - sharing, working out their hate.
[about a workshop on relationships]
Debbie
I'm sick of hating. I mean, God, Joan. I don't think I have any hate left.
Joan
Yes you do - you just don't know it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Suburban Driving Tensions and Family Dynamics
Doctor
He's not allergic to the bees, so there's no real problem. He's just gonna be a little uncomfortable for a while.
Michael Kaye
I hate the suburbs!
Doctor
I'm surprised your mother-in-law didn't come along with you today.
Ann Kaye
She refuses to get in the car with me. She's never been in a car when a woman drives.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Teeth as a Privilege
Mrs. Winchester
Having teeth is a privilege!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Wish for Shared Sentiments
Wilma Flintstone
Well I wish that I could say the same.
[Miss Stone tells her she's heard so much about her]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Love and Connection
Lily Cummings
Gwen, you make it impossible to love you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of an Unattractive Attraction
Jennifer Morton
He's a moron. No wonder you're attracted to him!
[''to Beth and Jack'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Appeal of Maturity in Relationships
Paul
What is so special about Baskin?
Susan
He's a grown up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Childhood Wishes and Family Aspirations
Dorey Walker
Susan.
Susan Walker
What?
Dorey Walker
What else did you ask Mr. Kringle for?
Susan Walker
A baby brother. See ya.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertain Feelings About Spending the Night
Susan
I'm not so sure we should do this.
Josh
Do what?
Susan
Well, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you.
Josh
Do you mean sleep over?
Susan
Well, yeah.
Josh
Well, okay, but I get to be on top.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Directions to Sea Point Park
Billy
There. Sea Point Park!
Josh
Thanks.
Billy
See you around.
Josh
Taxi! Sea Point Park, please.
Billy
Sea Point Park? Way to go, Josh!
Susan
You know Josh?
Billy
Yes, I am his friend.
Susan
I am...his girlfriend.
Billy
His girlfriend?? Whoa!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for Josh Baskin's Employment History
Paul
Have you tried Mattel?
Susan
Yes.
Paul
Well, how about Coleco?
Susan
Yes, as well as Fisher Price and Worlds of Wonder. None of these places reported ever having a Josh Baskin on their payroll.
Paul
Well, he's got to come from somewhere. The guy just does not come into the executive offices out of the blue.
Susan
Face it Paul, the man comes from data processing.
Paul
It's a mystery.
Milk Carton
MISSING: JOSHUA BASKIN
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.