Emo Philips Biography
Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec, February 7, 1956) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer and producer. His stand-up comedy persona makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice. The confused, childlike delivery of his material produces the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the "wisdom of children" or the idiot savant. (From Wikipedia)
Emo Philips Movies
Emo Philips TV Shows
Emo Philips Quotes
Absurdity in a Car Sales Promotion
Crazy Ernie:
If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal! That's right. I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy!
Richard Fletcher: [sarcastically, after having tripped up Noodles Macintosh]
Awwwww, did I do that? Oopsie!
Joe Earley: [after cutting off a finger with a table saw]
Can you believe this?! Would you look at that! Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers"! I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red.
Sy Greenblum: [In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial]
Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.
Earl Ramsey:
Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight. Guns don't kill people; I do!
Teri:
George Newman, you are a thoughtless, insensitive CREEP! From now on you can forget all my birthdays, because WE'RE THROUGH!
Philo: [unfolds a piece of paper with the title written on it; recites title with echo effect; folds paper back up]
Hello, my name is Philo and welcome to... Secrets Of The Universe. Today we are going to learn how to make plutonium from common household items.
Young book customer: [in a preview for "Conan the Librarian"; Conan slices him in two!!]
These books are a little overdue.
Gandhi:
Give me a steak, medium-rare.
Kuni (and other karate experts):
SUH-PLIIEES!!
Noodles Macintosh: [having just vengefully stuck a foot out and tripped up Richard Fletcher, now throwing Richard Fletcher's sarcasm right back at him]
Awwww... did I do that? Oopsie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
