Memorable Quotes from Isla Fisher
22 quotesThe Warmth of Attraction to Shopping
Rebecca Bloomwood
You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well, that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better.
Soul Sisters in Friendship
Rebecca Bloomwood
You are like my soul sister!
Misunderstanding Between Finance and Fish
Luke Brandon
Any financial stories that have caught your eye recently?
Rebecca Bloomwood
Yes. And I am glad you brought that up. Because I am furious. No, I really am. No, I mean, what is the story with the recent fish crisis?
[acts mad; looks down at a newspaper folded in half with article title cut off]
Luke Brandon
Fish crisis?
[looks at her confused]
Rebecca Bloomwood
Fiscal... crisis.
[realizes she made a mistake]
Luke Brandon
Fiscal crisis.
Rebecca Bloomwood
Terrifying, fiscally, I mean.
Luke Brandon
How so?
Rebecca Bloomwood
For the... fiscal family.
Hayley
I'm sorry.
[interrupts their conversation]
Luke Brandon
Not a moment too soon.
Shopping Urges and Personal Struggles
Suze
Bex, I just found the perfect book for you.
Garret E. Barton
Control your urge to shop, with Garret E. Barton. That's me. Do you find yourself constantly drawn toward stores?
Suze
Yes.
Rebecca Bloomwood
Nope.
Garret E. Barton
Does your heart quicken when you see new merchandise in neatly stacked piles?
Suze
Yes!
Rebecca Bloomwood
No.
Suze
This guy's good!
Garret E. Barton
Did you answer "no" to these questions and are consequently in denial?
Suze
Yes.
Rebecca Bloomwood
NO.
Garret E. Barton
Did you just say "no" again?
Rebecca Bloomwood
No... Yes...
Repeated Rejections in a Shopping Scenario
Denny & George Clerk
Declined.
Rebecca Bloomwood
Can you try again?
Denny & George Clerk
Really declined.
Material Desires vs. Romantic Relationships
Rebecca Bloomwood
A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags... oh yes... oh yes.
A Unique Performance Announcement in Las Vegas
Merritt McKinney
Thank you. Tonight we would like to try something that will, well, set us a bit apart.
Henley Reeves
For our final trick, we're gonna do something never before seen on a Las Vegas stage.
Jack Wilder
Or any stage for that matter.
Daniel Atlas
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are going to rob a bank.
The Cycle of Shopping and Happiness
Rebecca Bloomwood
When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it's not, and I need to do it again.
Excuses and the Mystery of Finland
Tarquin
Why do so many of your excuses involve Finland?
Rebecca Bloomwood
Because nobody checks up on Finland, Tarkie.
The Necessity of Cashmere Gloves in Winter
Rebecca Bloomwood
Well, these cashmere gloves I *need* as it is winter, and I have... Hands.
Shopping Excuses and Justifications
Suze
I'll do this. It can't be that bad. It's just like a band-aid. It's gonna be fine. Bex! $200 on Marc Jacobs underwear?
[Rebecca pushes away bills; both gasp loudly]
Rebecca Bloomwood
Oh, underwear is a basic, human, right.
[pours the tequila]
Suze
$78.00 on lavender honey?
Rebecca Bloomwood
I felt sorry for the shop assistant. She had a lazy eye. I didn't know which way she was looking! I didn't know if she was looking at me, it was so sad.
Suze
I can't even talk about this one.
Customer Loyalty and Its Discontents
Rebecca Bloomwood
They said I was a valued customer. Now they send me hate mail.
The Allure of Childhood Magic
Rebecca Bloomwood
When I was 7, most of my friends stopped believing in magic. That's when I first started. They were beautiful, they were happy. They didn't even need any money, they had magic cards.
Honesty and Deception in Job Applications
Suze
Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood
Everyone has fudged their resume a little.
Conflict Over a Shared Rivalry
Rebecca Bloomwood
Don't talk about Fluke.
Suze
Why? What happened?
Rebecca Bloomwood
Alicia Bitch Longlegs is what happened.
Suze
I hate her. Who is she?
A Journey of Personal Transformation
Rebecca Bloomwood
I know I've made some mistakes, but I'm turning my life around.
Observations on Uncommon Expressions and Comparisons
Rebecca Bloomwood
And all I would say, is that you never hear anyone say, "There goes a zebra with a small ass.
Shared Love for Scooby Snacks
Shaggy
Boy, oh, boy, those sure do look like Scooby Snacks.
Mary Jane
I know they're for dogs, but they're 100% vegetarian and I love them.
Shaggy
Like, me too!
Mary Jane
Far out. I have never met another person who loves Scooby Snacks.
Shaggy
Me neither.
Mary Jane
I'm Mary Jane.
Shaggy
Like that is my favorite name.
[too shocked to speak]
Mary Jane
Really? No way.
Leaving Finland Behind: A Personal Reflection
Rebecca Bloomwood
Men like you are the reason I left Finland.
Affordable Fashion Column Introduction
Alette Naylor
Your column will be "Affordable Fashion." 500 words, once a month... Welcome to Alette.
Rebecca Bloomwood
I can do affordable fashion! I mean, I know where all the sales are!
[to her potential employer]
Jane Bloomwood
Yes, she does! Oh, in fact, she got that from me!
[interrupting]
Rebecca Bloomwood
I didn't, I didn't! No, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't...
[laughing]