Janeane Garofalo Quotes

Beth Hey you, penny for your thoughts.

Henry Beth, tomorrow is the least of our problems.

Beth Don't tell me, Oh don't tell me, don't even tell me you have crabs!

Henry No... Well, yes, but that's not the point.

Disco Cabbie Uh, I'm sensing a lot of hostility coming from the back seat.

Ellie Oh, really? That's very astute.

Disco Cabbie Well, that's not good for me, man. That kind of energy damages the plush interior of my cab, right? And you're blowing a $5.00 high, mama. You need to find yourself a man who's secure enough to appreciate you for the superior woman that you are. I like a strong woman.

Ellie Oh... yeah. Mm-hmm.

Disco Cabbie And you are a strong woman. If I was you, I would pull over with me and celebrate our strength together. What do you think about that, baby?

Ellie This corner's great. This corner's fantastic for me.

Ellie I've dated enough narcissistically neurotic men to know that you are all just a pack of roving babies in search of a giant teat from which to suck the lifeblood out of me until I am a hollow shell.

Gail I hope you like shrimp cocktail, because I want you to be guests of honor at our wedding next week!

Beth Well, I hope it's not jumbo shrimp, because I'm allergic to oxymorons!

Beth Well, we've made it to the end of the summer in one piece, except for a few campers who are lepers.

Minnie Mogul Hey! How did that happen?

Fearless Leader We are attached to the project.

Susie Beth, I may regret saying this, but how dare you usurp my authority as producer...

Ben Hmph!

Susie ...director-slash-choreographer of the talent show. I need you to know I have been busting my balls, woman! I am telling you, the musical numbers are a mess, my kids are a bunch of amateurs, and the last thing I need today is some diabetic freak prancing around on stage making my life a living hell! All right; I'll put him on last.

Beth Good.

Susie Oh, she always wins!

Heather Mooney That's Sandy Frink? The hell was I thinking?

Christie Sandy, hi! You look so rich. I mean, great.

Sandy Frink Michele. After all these years, you still take my breath away.

Michele Thanks. So you must be, like, the most successful person in our entire graduating class.

Sandy Well, I guess that depends on how you define "success." If, to you, success means having a house in Aspen. one in Acapulco, penthouse in New York, mansion in Malibu, 60-foot yacht, an eight-seat Windstar, a Bell Jet Ranger, a Bentley, a personal trainer, a full-time chef, a live-in masseuse, and a staff of 24, then, yeah... I guess I am successful. But no matter how much I accumulate... there's still one thing I just don't have.

Michele Your own country?

Sandy I don't have you, Michele. Will you dance with me?

Michele Only if Romy can dance with us.

Sandy Sure.

Beth McKinley, four lower campers are stuck in the ropes course. I meant to tell you about that yesterday, but could you get to it now?