Jason StathamQuotes

Tool: [in a knife throwing contest with Lee Christmas; Lee throws knife near the center of the board] All right, baby, all right. Come on! Let's see what you got!

Hale Caesar: Oh! Oh!

Tool: [throws knife closer to the center] There's my boy!

Hale: Oh! Go... go... go south!

Barney Ross: [to Gunnar Jensen, who he earlier shot] So, you're back from the dead. How are you healin'?

Gunnar Jensen: [recovering from a gunshot wound three inches away from the heart] Good... considering you could have killed me.

Yin Yang: [referring to Gunnar's earlier attempt to kill him] I forgive you.

Gunnar: Okay.

Yin: [referring to their fight] I would've won.

Gunnar: [giving a thumbs and winking at Yin] Of course.

Toll Road: [who sees a therapist; Gunnar nods his head] Hey, Gunnar, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, brother: therapy.

Barney: The man's got a point.

Lee Christmas: [stops before throwing a knife and laughs; reciting a [[w:Limerick (poetry)|limerick] You know what? I'm gonna do you a favor, Tool. I once knew a man called Tool...

Barney: [Hale makes a confused face] I love poetry.

Lee: [Toll Road laughs; Yin and Toll laugh] To me, he was the epitome of cool. He was good with a knife... bad with the wife.

Barney: That hurt.

Lee: [speaking the film's final lines; the team shows a confused reaction; now standing in the street, shocks the Expendables by throwing a bull's eye] To think he could beat me, dreamin he'd defeat me, Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool! Oh yeah!

Barney Ross: [aiming at Munroe] Munroe!

James Munroe: [holding Sandra at gunpoint] Drop the weapons, or I will put a bullet through her eye! Don't test me.

Sandra Garza: [screaming] No, no!

Munroe: [to Sandra; to Barney, who is getting up, in reference to Mr. Church; [w:Central Intelligence Agency|Agency; referring to his control and drug business in Vilena; Barney is now on his feet and approaching] Shut up or I'll kill you. The ]'s parasites hired you, didn't they? I'd have paid you twice as much... to go fishing! You'd have to think I'm pretty freakin stupid to surrender to the Agency. Why would I do that? I created this. I made it all happen! And they wanted me out. Why? Because I saw the big picture! Stop walking! And what about me and you? We are both the same. We're both mercenaries. We're are both dead inside. So why the hell did you come after me?

Barney Ross: [Sandra breaks free of Munroe's hold] I didn't come after you, dipshit. I came for her!

Lee Christmas: [throws knife throws Munroe's back] Call it a tie.

Lee Christmas: [tapping his head after Barney barely misses it while shooting a soldier behind him] Are you crazy? You could've killed me!

Barney Ross: You're welcome.

Barney Ross: [after seeing Dan Paine and his men terrorize a local market] What's wrong with this picture?

Lee Christmas: Everything.

Sandra Garza: [meeting Lee Christmas and Barney Ross for the first time] What are your names?

Lee Christmas: [pointing to himself; pointing to Barney] Buda. Pest.

Sandra: [walks away] Follow me, please.

Barney Ross: [slowly turns to Lee; [w:Budapest|Buda and Pest.] ] Nice.

Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?

Dmitri: No, I don't see him.

Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.

Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

Ryan: [Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet] Santa Monica Pier.

Ethan: No, too busy.

Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.

Ethan: [learning that Jessica had escaped after she killed Mad Dog] Get outside now!

Hennessey: This prison is the home to murderers, rapists, and violent offenders of every kind. The United States Penal System sends me the worst of the worst. But the men you've provoked, well, let's just say Mr. Ames that the life term you've joined us for may be a lot shorter than you think.

Jensen Ames: I understand tradition. Shuffling up the new guy, having a slipping good time up to my neck... (is hit in the side by Ulrich)

Hennessey: Bad language... is an issue... for me. While looking over your record, I couldn't help noticing your occupational history. It seems you have some talent behind the wheel. Out of curiosity, when was the last time you raced?

Jensen Ames: It's been a while. I lost my license.

Hennessey: What if I could help you?

Jensen Ames: Get my license back?

Hennessey: I had something else in mind. You're familiar with the Death Race, and the driver the fans call Frankenstein. A man so disfigured by crashes that he's forced to wear a mask. His return to the track is highly anticipated, and therein lies my problem. No one knows yet, but poor Frank died on an operating table not long after his last race. Anyone can wear the mask, but not just anyone can drive the car. You have the skills required to keep the legend alive. I want you to become Frankenstein.

Jensen Ames: No thanks. He's dead. Why don't you just tell the truth?

Hennessey: The audience wants to see Frank again. He moves them. Inspires them. And in this world that's not easy to come by.

Jensen Ames: What makes you think for a second I would risk my life doing this for you?

Hennessey: Win five races, you go free. Those are the rules, and Frank has won four. Win one more, you walk. Call it intuition, but I don't think you belong in here with the rest of these animals.

Jensen Ames: I might surprise you.

Hennessey: The race is Friday, and I need your decision. You're a skilled driver. You're chances are good. I'm offering you your freedom, Mr. Ames. If it's not worth risking your life for, what is?

Jensen Ames: So where's the ammo?

Gunner: We get that on race day.

Jensen Ames: Pity.

Coach: Yeah, everyone thinks that, the first time.

Jensen Ames: Thinks what?

Coach: About turning the guns on the guards. About escaping.

Jensen Ames: No, I wasn't thinking that.

Coach: Well I'm glad, because Hennessey's got electric kill switches on all the guns on all the cars. And all the guard towers are fortified, and their guns are bigger than your guns. Oh, did I mention the helicopters and also the fact that we're on an island here a mile from the nearest shoreline? The only way in or out of here is on that one skinny bridge you came in on.

Coach: Tomorrow morning, you'll meet your navigator, Case. She'll help you navigate the course, reload your weapons, and help with the running of the car.

Jensen Ames: I'd love to talk to her ahead of time before the race.

Gunner: Yeah, I'd like a big bad girl to lick peanut butter off my toes, but it ain't gonna happen. This is still a prison, man. She's a chick. They get busted from the women's facility upstate.

Coach: It's all about ratings. Fast cars, pretty women...

Gunner: Machine Gun Joe's the only one that has male navigators, cause he's gay.

Lists: Well... actually, it's because he goes through them so fast, and... audience gets squeamish.

Gunner: Yeah he goes through them... through their skin.

Coach: He cuts each kill into his skin as a souvenir, I hear.

Jensen Ames: So what are you in for?

Case: They say I killed a cop.

Jensen Ames: Did you do it?

Case: Yeah.

Jensen Ames: Bad cop?

Case: Good cop. Lousy husband.

Jensen Ames: Why don't you wear a number, Coach?

Coach: Because I'm not a prisoner. I qualified for parole three years ago. Got as far as the gate. They got a name for it: something-or-another syndrome. Simple fact is, world's changed since I've been in here. Don't know what, don't much want to. But this... this I know.

Jensen Ames: What did they sent you away for?

Coach: Oh, plenty... and nothing.

Jensen Ames: (during the race) Did you kill the old Frank?

Case: I sabotaged his rear weapons.

Jensen Ames: Why?

Case: Hennessey. She said she'd sign my release papers. It's my life back.

Jensen Ames: Don't tell me you killed him, too.

Case: I didn't kill him. He wouldn't quit! I just wanted to make sure he wouldn't win.

Jensen Ames: Why would Hennessey want that?

Case: To keep Frank here, racing.

Jensen Ames: And yesterday?

Case: I was trying to set you back.

Jensen Ames: So, I'm not supposed to win, either. Just make it exciting.

Jensen Ames: You sure are lucky a driver like me just happened to turn up in your prison when I did.

Hennessey: Oh, I'm more than lucky. I'm blessed. Sometimes it's like the right hand of god is sitting on my shoulder.

Lists: Jensen Garner Ames. Moved to the states at 24 years old. Named after a car, the Jensen Intercepter. A three time local speedway champion.

Jensen Ames: You've done your homework, or do you just know everything?

Coach: Jensen Intercepter. I had one. Handled like a school bus.

Jensen Ames: What makes you think for a second I would risk my life doing this for you?

Hennessey: Win five races, you go free. Those are the rules, and Frank has won four. Win one more, you walk. Call it intuition, but I don't think you belong in here with the rest of these animals.

Jensen Ames: Someone once asked me if I was the best future for my little girl. I've thought about this for long time, and here's what I've decided: No one in this world is perfect. Heaven knows I'm not. But I love her more than anyone else possibly could. In the end, that's all that matters.

Jensen Ames: (to Hennessey) You wanted a monster? Well, you've got one.

Jensen Ames: (to his daughter) What does little Piper want? Do you want a story? You know you won't understand it, but it'll be good practice for me.

Turkish: Now … we are fucked.

Turkish: [The dog barks] Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week. Still didn't shut it up, though.

Turkish: [Voiceover] Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? And hey presto, a car's nearly on you, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, cause you're too fucking scared to think – you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't – why? Because he had plans on running the car over. It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction … is quite a fucking thing.

Turkish: [[w:pig|pig] You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy, and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, ]-feeding gangster.

Turkish: [Voiceover] Boris "the Blade", or Boris "the Bullet Dodger". As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

Turkish: Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker … well, he is a fat fucker … but he's dirty and he's dangerous.

Turkish: That's Doug the Head. Everybody knows Doug the Head. If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to. Pretends he's Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey. He thinks it's good for business. And in the diamond business, it is good for business.

Turkish: Hurry up, Tommy, before zee Germans get here.

Turkish: [Voiceover] This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

Turkish: Not many people are named after a plane crash.

Jonas Taylor: See you later, chum.

Jonas Taylor: Look at this.

Jonas Taylor: Humans and megs were never meant to mix.

Jonas Taylor: We've never seen this before. They're hunting in packs.

Jonas Taylor: Biggest meg anyone's ever seen.

Sefina Hobbs: My baby's come home!

Luke Hobbs: [opens the armory to find traditional Samoan spears and handheld weapons] I'm sorry to bring trouble here, Mama, but I need my brothers. This family is going to war. We're gonna need cars... and guns. Mama, where's all our guns?

Sefina: I get rid of them.

Deckard Shaw: [whispers to Hattie] Very noble, Mrs. Hobbs. We're in serious trouble.

Hattie Shaw: That's an understatement.

Sefina: These guns, they kill all our family, bring shame on our house. So I get rid of them. Cause no take one real man for pull one trigger.

Luke: [grabs a spiked club] All right, we're going to war with the family heirlooms... We're gonna need a lot more. Let's get old-school.

Hattie: We're never gonna survive their firepower.

Deckard: It doesn't take a real man to pull a trigger, but for Eteon, it does take an activation chip.

Brixton: Shock will kill a man in three. Do you remember that Deck?

Deckard Shaw: Yeah, I remember a lot of things from back then.

Brixton: I reckon you’ve only got four shocks in you boys.

Luke Hobbs: Yeah? I think we can take five.

Brixton: [gives them one shock] Five? Well, all right.

Shaw: You had to open your big mouth, didn’t you?

Hobbs: I... I thought it was a cool thing to say in the moment.

Luke Hobbs: You wanna tell me just what the hell we're dealing with here?

Deckard Shaw: It's my sister. Family business!

Hobbs: When it's the fate of the world, it becomes my business.

Deckard Shaw: On my three! One...

Deckard Shaw: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! You asshole!

Luke Hobbs: Ha ha ha ha! No one tells me what to do! Whoo! All right, you see the look on his face? You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that.

Luke Hobbs: Pick a door.

Deckard Shaw: [thumbs at the door behind him] One right there.

Luke Hobbs: No. That's my door.

Deckard Shaw: [Shaw picks his door and opens it, revealing eight thugs inside] What's wrong with you? I made a mistake. This is your door.

Luke Hobbs: Oh, no. No backsies. What's the matter? You got a lot of bad guys behind that door?

Deckard Shaw: Watch this, you might learn something.

Computer: Enter corresponding match.

Computer: Access denied.

Computer: Access denied.

Computer: Access denied.

Computer: Access denied.

Luke Hobbs: On my three.

Deckard Shaw: Sure.

Hobbs: One, two, three!

Deckard Shaw: No one tells me what to do!

Luke Hobbs: [muffled] **** you!

Deckard Shaw: This job requires stealth. Look at you. I mean granted, it's not your fault. But you're too obvious.

Luke Hobbs: I'm trying to save the world, which, for the record, will be my fourth time. Cause I'm really good at it.

Deckard Shaw: I'm what you might call a champagne problem.

Doc Miles: [''Answers phone''] Hello, Doc Miles.

Chev Chelios: Yeah, Doc. It's Chev.

Doc Miles: [Doc Miles spews his drink and ice shaking his head rapidly] Jesus H. Chelios! You've gotta be kidding me!

Chev Chelios: [[w:Artificial heart|put in one of those plastic artificial jobs] Listen, I'm deadly fuckin serious, Doc. These Triad motherfuckers cut out my fuckin heart and ].

Doc Miles: You got an artificial heart?

Chev Chelios: Do you think I'm having a fuckin laugh?!

Doc Miles: No-No-No, but you got to admit, it's a little out there, dude.

Chev Chelios: Yeah, you take your fuckin time, Doc.

Doc Miles: You don't have any time, if you've got an artificial heart. They're not designed to keep you alive more than a couple days while you're waitin on a transplant. And don't do anything strenuous.

Chev Chelios: Yeah, sure, Doc. No problem. So what's my next fuckin move?

Doc Miles: Well, we got to get a real heart put back in you preferably your own.

Chev Chelios: I'm on it.

Doc Miles: Okay, you're on it.

Chev Chelios: Doc! Jesus fucking Christ!

Doc Miles: I'm-I'm sorry. Sorry. Does-Does-- Let me-- Does that thing have a a-a-a a belt battery pack?

Chev Chelios: Check.

Doc Miles: How many bars are showing?

Chev Chelios: One.

Doc Miles: Shit. That's better than none, I guess. Look, what they did you with is an Avicor Total Artificial Heart. It's got an internal battery that'll pick up once the belt battery dies. It's like a reserve tank. Once the internal battery takes over, you got one fuckin hour. The internal battery charges wirelessly through its transcutaneous energy transfer system. Two coils, there's one internal, one external that transmit the, uh, magnetic force across the skin without piercing the surface. The internal coil receives power and sends it to the controller device. Is this makin any fuckin sense to you, Chevy?

Chev Chelios: It's fucking Greek, Doc.

Doc Miles: Greek. Look, you got to keep your body electrically charged to keep that piece of shit pumpin'.

Chev Chelios: Copy that.

Doc Miles: Hey, Chev.

Chev Chelios: Yeah.

Doc Miles: I'm stoked you're alive, dude.

Chev Chelios: I'll get back to you, Doc.

Doc Miles: Yeah, well, y- Call me.

Chev Chelios: Fuck!

Cholo: Hey-Hey-Hey! That's a nice car.

Chev Chelios: I don't suppose you know where the Cypress Social Club is, do you?

Cholo: Man, fuck that shit, puto. Let's race, ese.

Chev Chelios: [''Chev rams a concret barrier and goes flying through windshield''] Don't you tempt me, fucker. What I need from you is directions. Oh, shit. Shit!

Cholo: Damn, dog. You good, esé?

Chev Chelios: Tiger fucking Woods. Never better. Greatest day of my fucking life. You gents couldnt point me in the direction of the Cypress Social Club, could ya?

Cholo: Well, you ain't too far. You go down Orange for, like, two miles and then you're there, homes.

Chev Chelios: [''Clamps jump cables to his nipples''] Cool. You mind givin me a jump? Just juice me.

Chev Chelios: [''They are silent''; ''One points to house''] Hey, Menudo, where's the fuckin Social Club? Uh, dondé esta La Social Club?

Cholo: Buénos nachos, white boy.

Chev: [''To obese man''; ''Obese man shakes head and Chev slaps him, knocking him out and Chev walks into house, wreaking mayhem, throwing people out windows and prostitutes run out with Johnny Vang running into a vehicle''] You Johnny Vang?

Johnny: Go!

Ria: [''She climbs up to obese man''; ''Grabs broken bicycle''; ''Rams bicycle repeatedly on man's crotch''; ''Two Triad thugs pull up''] No sucky fucky for your asshole! Cock suck face! Fag whore! Shrimp dick! BB balls! Chicken fat! What you two faggots looking at?!

Cypress Triad Hood #1: Get lost bitch.

Ria: [''To Triad, about Chev''] Fuck you! This dude my Kevin Costner! He going to beat you off!

Cypress Triad Hood #1: What?!

Chev: Where's Johnny Vang?

Cypress Triad Hood #1: You looking to get your ass killed dog?!

Ria: You ask for it, he's gonna tap your ass!

Chev: Wrong expression.

Cypress Triad Hood #1: [''Points gun''] You ain't tappin my ass!

Chev: What's that, fucking cunt-onese?! I'd rather stick my dick in a blender!

Ria: [''Humping him''] Sticky me. Hey! I know where Johnny Vang go!

Chev: Johnny Vang?

Ria: Yes.

Chev: [''She points down street''] Where?

Ria: Hey, dude, why do you run?! Wait for me!

Chev: [''He attempts to carjack a [[w:station wagon|station wagon] Get out of the fucking car! Out!

Station wagon driver: Get your own station wagon, asshole! Get the fuck off! Damn!

Chev: Fuck!

Ria: You taking it too fast with me!

Chev: Which way?!

Ria: I want you to take it slow.

Chev: Which way?

Ria: Hey! Hey! You didn't ask name!

Chev: Shut up a minute, for fuck's sake! Where is he?! Johnny Vang?!

Ria: [''Points''] Yes.

Chev Chelios: Alright, Chow Mein. Who do you work for?!

Shot Gun Triad: [''Chev whacks him with the butt of the shotgun''] Fuck you, Chelios!

Chev Chelios: [''Dips shotgun barrel in oil, pulls down the thug's pants, makes a face like; I-can't-believe-I'm-going-to-enjoy-doing-this and then brutally rams the shotgun up his anus''; ''Thug looks at him confused and Chev points to his heart while an on-screen subtitle says "strawberry tart=heart"''; ''The thug starts stuttering''; ''Starts further ramming the shotgun in the thug's ass and starts wiggling it''] Fucking grunt! You found me in quite an unpleasant mood this morning, mate. Now I'm going to ask you this question one time. Who's got my fucking strawberry tart?! Capische?! J- j- j- j- just spit the fucking name out!

Shot Gun Triad: Johnny Vang!

Chev Chelios: Johnny fucking Vang?! JOHNNY FUCKING VANG?! Good boy! Where?!

Shot Gun Triad: Cypress Social Club!

Chev Chelios: [''Thug nods head''] Cypress-Cypress Social Club? Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?!

Chev Chelios: [''Leaves the shotgun up the thug's ass and walks away''] Good boy! Thanks for coming! Now you can keep that!

Long Beach Nose Punch Triad: [''Taps on Chev's shoulder pointing [[w:Springfield Armory XD|a two tone Springfield XD pistol] ] at Chev] You Lost?

Chev Chelios: [''Parries the gun out of the gunman's hand and slams his forearm in his face knocking him out''] Nope.

Chinese Doctor 1: [''Conversing in either [[w:Mandarin|Mandarin; [w:Cantonese|Cantonese] ]/ How long can we keep him alive?

Chinese Doctor 2: Maybe long time. He die hard with a vengeance.

Chinese Doctor 1: [[w:lungs|Lungs; [w:pancreas|pancreas; [w:bladder|bladder] Big Boss need to harvest his cornucopia of organs for later. ], ], ]...

Chinese Doctor 2: What comes out next?

Chinese Doctor 1: [''Doctor points to a diagram and circles [[w:penis|the reproductive organ] Boss gave specific order. ] with Chev fully aware of the intentions]

Nurse: [''Lifts up medical blanket''] Oh, you big cock English. Strong like horse.

Chev Chelios: [''He proceeds to brutally assault the two doctors before escaping''] Fuck that.

Chev Chelios: [''Peering into Johnny's cooler''; ''Drops cooler on ground''] This isn't my fucking pumper! Becomes deeply revulsed] What is that? What kind of sick freak carries around something like this in a box? I am shocked to my fuckin core. You have got some big problems, motherfucker. What the fuck is that?

Chev Chelios: [''Upon seeing guys using a shock collar on their dog''] You pair of sausage nigels! How do you sleep at night?

Chev Chelios: [''Catches up with Johnny Vang after chase''; ''grabs Johnny Vang by neck''] Did I just drop some change... ...or did I hear a chink?

Chev Chelios: [''Chico [[w:urination|pisses; [w:Wake (physics)|wake; [w:Motorboat|motorboat] ] in the ] of a Massive homo cunt!

Eve: Jesus! Fuck! Are they really...

Chev Chelio: They're dead.

Eve: How do you... How can you do that?

Chev Chelio: I told you, baby. I quit.

Eve: [''He parks the car''; ''He gets out''] Where are you going?!

Chev Chelio: [''He walks into a hardware store and Eve finds him hammering nails into his leg''] Stay there, honey. Jesus! Fuck!

Eve: Chev!

Chev Chelio: Asshole! I can't feel my leg. Shit!

Chev Chelio: I've been trying to call you for a half hour. Where the fuck have you been?

Doc Miles: In my office. Can you make it over here?

Chev Chelio: Sure why not?

Doc Miles: Chocolate what's this fucking receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?

Chocolate: Snacks.

Eve: I hate television.

Chev Chelio: I owe you again, Doc.

Doc Miles: Chevy you're my best customer.

Chev Chelio: What is this stuff?

Doc Miles: Synthetic epinephrine... diluted with some saline.

Chev Chelio: Feels sort of good.

Doc Miles: Well, I got a little meth in there too. You're feeling the endorphins.

Chev Chelio: Wait a minute. I'm not better?

Doc Miles: No you're not better. You're in such shit shape it's stunning. I can't believe your heart's beating. You should be in a fucking medical journal.

Chev Chelio: So, what are you going to do?

Doc Miles: The solution acts as a competing inhibitor. It's pushing the poison out of your receptors and replacing it with a chemical. It's just a temporary fix.

Chev Chelio: Then what?

Doc Miles: Then you're fucked. I can put you on life support and string this out for a few days. But you're going to go into a comma at some point. Does she know?

Doc Miles: Why don't I load you up with something, and you can go out in a beautiful dream.

Chev Chelio: A dream.

Doc Miles: Can I do that for you?

Chev Chelio: No, no, no. That's not what I want.

Doc Miles: What do you want?

Chev Chelio: One hour. I want one hour.

Doc Miles: Give me a fuckin break.

News reporter: So, the wild rampage that began 9am in L.A. Continues. The suspect, still at large.

Associate: We didn't give him enough Chinese shit.

Ricky: [''Answers phone''] You think?! Dude, it's him! What's up, corpse?

Chev: Bonjour, douche bag, Thought you might be interested in a deal.

Ricky: Oh, you a dealer, now?

Chev: Don't you worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.

Ricky: Oh, the antidote?!

Chev: That's right, the antidote.

Ricky: What you prepared to give me?

Chev: How about that jewelry I got off that faggot brother of yours, you cocksucker? Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.

Ricky: Okay.

Chev: You like the deal?

Ricky: Whatever!

Chev: Be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?

Ricky: Yeah.

Chev: Don't be late, or I'll trade the thing to a whore for a hand job. Look, I said I said I'd fuckin be...

Ricky: Fuck!

Chev: See you later, sunshine. Dammit! Fuck!

Ricky: Yo, it's Verona. You won't believe this call I just got.

Chev: It's gonna be all right, baby.

Eve: But you said...

Chev: No, no. Things have changed. There's an antidote. I can make a deal for it, but I got to go alone.

Eve: I'm scared.

Chev: Of course. You'll be safe, now. And I'll be back.

Eve: Promise?

Chev: I promise.

Ricky: What's happening, bro?!

Asian man: [''In woman's voice''] Where did I go wrong?!

Chev: You fuckin just say something?

Asian man: It's like talking to the wall.

Chev: Mom?

Asian man: I'm amazed you remember you have a mother.

Chev: Please, I haven't got time for this.

Asian man: You're never around. I've never seen you in the house in sixteen years.

Chev: [[w:valium|valium; [w:tic tacs|tic tacs] Yeah, yeah, yeah, right mom, with you popping ] like ]. I really wouldn't wish at all someone would so this. Why would I stick around for entertainment like this?

Asian man: [''In Ạsian language''] That's hurtful.

Chev: Please, I've no time for this.

Asian man: [''In Orlando's voice''] You got no time, period. You're a persistent motherfucker, Chelios. I give you that.

Chev: Orlando?

Chev: This is weird.

Asian man: [''In Ạsian language''; [w:Michael Myers|Michael Myers; ''In Ricky's voice''] Yeah, I know this is weird, but you know, this has gotta stop sometime. Who do you think you are? ] They pop you and you keep getting up?

Chev: I'm the terminator.

Asian man: You was, but here's a new gun in town.

Chev: You know, I just don't get it. Why didn't you cut me up when you had the chance?

Asian man: [[w:Bipolar disorder|Bi-polar; [w:Sadomasochism|sadomasochistic tendencies; [w:Adrenaline#Adrenaline junkie|Adrenaline junkie] Too easy, motherfucker. Look at you. ], ]... ]...

Alter Chev ego: ...addicted to violence... probably spends every day looking for the big thrill, the big rush, Carving up a guy while he screams in his own blood and excrement, would be like... like a gift. A warriors death.

Asian man: [''Chev's voice''] Hell, you'd probably get off on it.

Chev: Why do you ask this?

Alter Chev ego: Maybe it's best for a guy like you. Going downhill. Winding down. Inevitable. Under so many circumstances.

Chev: Who are you anyway?

Asian man: [''In Asian language''] Don't you know?

Chev: I think I'm starting to figure it out.

Asian man: [''In Chev's voice''] Better late than never. You know you're gonna die up there.

Chev: [''Alter ego Chev becomes radiant with [[w:Ultraviolet|UV light] Yeah, maybe. But I'm taking you with me. ] and then disappears with the Asian man becoming default] Some pills, Doc.

Asian man: [''[[w:Languages of Asia|In Asian language] Did you fucking say something?

Henchman: Chelios?

Chev: [''Ċhev ạpproạçhes''] Hello, girls.

Henchman: [''Çoṇḟịsçạtes Ċhev's ḟịreạrm''] Hold up. Give me the piece.

Chev: Now, isn't that a fucking picture?

Carlito: Chelios. What a fucking nightmare you are.

Chev: No shit.

Carlito: Sit down.

Ricky: [''Ḥeṇçhmạṇ pulls out ạ tube çoṇṇeçted boẋ''] Whoa! Wait a minute. You pat him down, again. I know he's carrying something.

Carlito: Let me see that.

Chev: Motherfucker.

Carlito: [[w:Insulin pump|an insulin pump] Clever. What is this, ]?

Chev: Basically.

Ricky: [[w:Insulin|Insulin; ''Carlito holds up finger for silence''] What the fuck is ]?

Carlito: Ephedrine, right?

Chev: Yeah.

Carlito: You're very resourceful.

Chev: Found a new master, little bitch?

Ricky: I'm nobody's bitch.

Chev: You'll be a bitch when Carlito hires you for half what he paid me.

Carlito: That's enough.

Chev: You'll throw boss a reach-around, show him you're a good bitch.

Ricky: [''Points gun at Chev''] I'm nobody's little bitch! You fuckin hear me? He'll pay me what I tell him to pay!

Carlito: That's enough! Sit down! It's been a long fucking day. In the end, you have to admit, it all works out quite nicely. Don Kim gets his bullet, thanks to you, and Hong Kong gets a goat to take the fall. Please understand, it's nothing personal.

Ricky: [''Mimics a kiss''] Speak for yourself.

Chev: That what I think it is?

Carlito: It's the Chinese shit. Hold him down.

Chev: [''Makes a gun gesture''] Not so fast, motherfucker!

Ricky: [''Chev points at him''] He's gone dipsy-do, yo! Whatever, psycho!

Carlito: [[w:Ḣạrry Ḥoudịṇị|the Houdini act; ''Points at a henchman who falls down from a headshot''] I'm afraid ] is over, my friend.

Ricky: Our Father, who art in...

Carlito: Shut up!

Don Kim: [''Camera pan-out reveals Don Kim and his hitmen team''] So, this is how it is!

Ricky: It's Don Kim! He's supposed to be dead!

Chev: [''Gun fight between henchmens of Carlito and Don Kim ensues''] Presto.

News reporter: Police have moved to surround the Hotel Lint, where the madman behind today's mayhem... is holed up and making a desperate last stand. Officials have confirmed gunfire on the sundeck. Our news chopper will bring live, uncensored coverage from above the hotel. Again, this coverage is uncensored, so any small children present should leave the room.

Ricky: Get me out of here! I'll kill you, Chelios!

Chev: Too late!

Carlito: [''A Don Kim thug has thrown a grenade''; ''Grabs a henchman to cover the grenade''] Look out!

Henchman: Thanks, boss.

Ricky: Let's get the fuck out of here, now! Let's go!

Chev: [''Points gun''] Present from Kaylo.

Ricky: Now what?

Chev: Now you say shit!

Carlito: Where the fuck were you?!

Ricky: [''Plunges syringe into Chev's neck''; ''Shoots Carlito and climbs into helicopter''] Who's the bitch, now?! No, no! You fly, motherfucker! Motherfuckin fly!

Chev: You're dead!

Ricky: [''Chev and Ricky are fighting in the airborne helicopter and they fall out in free fall still fighting''] Oh my God! You're dead! You're dead, motherfucker!

Chev: [''Chev then snaps Ricky's neck who drifts away lifeless and Chev then makes a phone call''] Thought I'd told you I'd kill you, you little bitch!

Chev: [''Chev lands on a vehicle, bounces onto the road and a heartbeat is heard''] Hey, its Eve. I'm glad you called but I'm not here. Leave a message, unless you're selling something cause I'm not interested. If you're not, then just... Wait, time's up. Hey, doll... Looks like I let you down, again. Seems like all my life I've just been going... going... going... I wish I'd taken more time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, I guess it's too late for that now. You're the greatest, baby.

Carlito henchman: [''Ends a call on Don Kim's shirt factory rooftop''; ''Chev comes up behind the Carlito henchman lightly pushing him and pointing a gun at his forehead''] Fucking call me talking shit! I'm doing my job. I'm doing my shit. I'm up here chillin', doing what I do. I'm a rooftop mother- hey, Chevy! What's up, dog? You chillin'? You good? What a coincidence!

Chev Chelio: What do you mean?

Carlito henchman: What, you waiting for a bus?

Chev Chelio: Actually, I thought a helicopter... what is this?

Carlito henchman: What?

Chev Chelio: You working for the Chinese?

Carlito henchman: The Chinese?! You crazy? I wouldn't do that to you.

Chev Chelio: [''Raises up both hands''] I am crazy. Where's Kaylo? Okay, ding. Time's up.

Carlito henchman: [''Chev lunges at the henchman''; ''Chev grabs the henchman''; ''Chev throws the henchman off the roof''] What do you mean, "ding"?! What do you mean, "ding"?!

Chev Chelio: [''Chev then goes some floors below and appears before three Carlito henchmen''] Where is that motherfucker?!

Carlito henchman: Chev.

Chev Chelio: [''Noticing the murdered body of Kaylo''] What the fuck is this?!

Carlito henchman: Chev, baby. Take it easy.

Chev Chelio: [''Points gun at henchman who just blinks eyes and turns head slightly''] Oh, you mean like this? Now you tell me where that little toe-rag motherfucker is; Verona.

Carlito henchman: Verona's got nothing to do with this!

Chev Chelio: What?!

Carlito henchman: Don Carlos wants you off the streets.

Chev Chelio: Carlito?!

Carlito henchman: You've totally lost your shit, dog! Your all over tv, destroying property, making unauthorized hits?! You are bringing the organization a great deal of embarrassment!

Chev Chelio: Organization?! You mean Carlito ordered all of this?!

Carlito henchman: Look, don't worry about Verona, we'll take care of him, the best thing for you to do is just find some nice dark quiet place... and just die. I mean, we all gotta die some time right?

Chev Chelio: [''Chelios points to forehead and a CGI text of CUNT appears on Chelios forehead''; ''Suddenly Eve comes up in elevator''] Die. Just die. What, you think I've got cunt written all over my face? So, I'll just die.

Carlito henchman: [''Chev opens fire on henchman starting a gun fight and Chev gets shot trying to escape in elevator''] What the... What the...

Eve: You got shot!

Chev: Mother... Jesus!

Chev Chelio: Eve, move!

Carlito henchman: You, asshole!

Eve: Don't talk to him like that! My boyfriend kills people!

Chev Chelio: Nice.

Eve: Oh, God! I had to see if you were telling the truth.

Cab driver: [[w:Cocaine dependence|You a crackhead] Hey man, what's the matter with you? ]?

Chev: Right, just step on it, all right?

Cab driver: You're won't die in my cab, crackhead. I got something for you. Take this Haitian shit. This shit is some hardcore shit. It's made from plant shit. Hey, what are you laughing at? Look at this. You see that? That's what a man look like, crackhead. That's power. Now look at you. What the hell. Yeah.

Chev: It tastes like ass.

Cab driver: That's right, devil. You wait... We're here.

Chev: What'd you say was in this stuff?

Cab driver: I told you, it's hardcore. It's $5.55. It's all you, man. Have a nice day, devil.

Eve: Be careful. All right. I'm gonna get some help, all right? Yeah. Hey, did you try to call?

Chev: You've been home all day?

Eve: I was sleeping in.

Chev: Sleeping in. That's great, Eve. Super great. You all rested, now? Glad to hear it. Listen, I've been fatally poisoned. A psychopath's on his way over to torture and kill you, but don't get out of bed, I'll be over in a flash. Could you fry up a waffle?

Eve: Sure, yeah. Come on over. I'll be here.

Chev: Right, you'll be there. Okay.

Eve: Bye.

Thug 1: So, let's go get the bitch!

Thug 2: Come on, please!

Thug 3: All right, all right. Jesus!

Eve: Oh my God! Is this your new look or something?

Chev: Yeah, you into it?

Eve: It's gross. Are you looking for my other boyfriend?

Chev: Yes! You haven't watched TV today, right?

Eve: No, why?

Chev: Didn't think so. Come on, we're leaving.

Eve: Don't be such a freak.

Chev: Get dressed.

Eve: Actually, can you change the clock on the microwave? I never changed it back.

Chev: What?

Eve: The microwave. Can you change the clock? The daylight savings time, I never changed it back.

Chev: The microwave?

Eve: Yes.

Chev: Listen. I bought some flowers. They got fucked up on the way over.

Eve: That's sweet! You okay? You look like you're on drugs or something.

Chev: You love me, yeah?

Eve: Yes.

Chev: Then I need you to do something for me.

Eve: What? What's wrong?

Chev: I need you to put some clothes on and come with me, right now.

Eve: No.

Chev: I'll change the clock on the microwave.

Eve: Okay. All right.

Chev: Shit's wearing off.

Eve: The waffle iron's on if you want to make one.

Chev: Great.

Eve: [[w:Cannabis (drug)|some pot] Great. You're so stressed out. Want ], or something?

Chev: [''Chev deliberately burns himself on the waffle iron''] Yeah! Ready!

Eve: What's wrong?!

Chev: I burned my hand.

Eve: Oh, my God! Let me see it!

Chev: Don't worry about it. Hey!

Eve: What the...

Chev: I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for. Can we just...

Eve: Fine. Parked out the back. Darn! That... thing.

Chev: What thing?

Eve: The waffle thing, I gotta turn it off. Hello? Hello?

Chev: All right, very funny.

Eve: God, I hate that. Do you want to burn the building down? Ouch!

Chev: Sorry, honey.

Eve: [''Chev has noticed the ṇeạrby thugs and deliberately spills the purse contents of Eve's purse to ḟịght them''; [w:Tiger Balm|Tiger Balm] Nice one, Chev. Oh, there's my ]. I swear to God, Chev. I don't know what you're on, but it isn't working for you. My hand cream! That's where you went. Chev? Can I have some help, here? Where's your car?

Chev: Actually, I took a cab.

Eve: This isn't gonna be... This isn't gonna be easy, as they say.

Chev: Oh, fucker.

Eve: All right, here it is.

Chev: [[w:video game programmer|I was a video game programmer] Sorry. I told you ].

Eve: Yeah?

Chev: That was a lie. Actually... I kill people. Professional hitman. I freelance for a major West Coast crime syndicate. Last night was a job like 100 others. High dollar hit, nothing special. The Triads from Hong Kong had been moving in on the local drug cartels. My target was the number one man in L.A., Don Kim.

Don Kim: Well? What are you waiting for?

Chev: [[w:11 mm caliber|like a .45 slug] Then, this insane idea comes in the back of my head, ] at close range.

Chev: [''Chev relents in killing Don Kim''] Congratulations.

Don Kim: Did I win something?

Chev: Your life, jackass.

Chev: So, sooner or later it's gonna happen, but I'm not doing it.

Eve: I see.

Chev: Instead you're gonna do something for me. You're gonna get out of town, disappear. I don't care where you go or what you do, so long as you're invisible for 48 hours. That's all I ask. Or, if you prefer, we can do it the other way. The way where I go to work, and you meet Buddha. See... I quit. I quit the business for you.

Eve: For me?

Chev: Yeah. I figure I call you that night and tell you everything. We get on a plane, leave this shit, never come back. Pretty crazy, huh?

Eve: You are so weird.

Eve: Are we going on a trip?

Chev: Well... I might be going on a trip, but you're not coming with me...

Chev: Please! Wait, please!

Eve: Mob hits, Chev?! Chinese poison?! Do you know how ridiculous you sound?! If you're gonna break up with me, at least you can tell me the truth! What's wrong with you?!

Chev: Wait a minute, you trust me?!

Eve: No.

Chev: [''Chev begins to succumb to the ''“Beijing cocktail”'', then grabs Eve''; [w:Sexual intercourse|Make love to me] ].

Eve: What?!

Chev: I think it'll help.

Eve: What? Are you kidding? Get off me!

Chev: Take your clothes off.

Eve: No! No!

Chev: You said you wanted to be more spontaneous!

Eve: You're crazy! You're an adrenaline junkie with no soul!

Chev: Save me, Eve. Save my life!

Eve: [''Punches him''; ''Ċhev grạbs her ạgạịṇ''] Stop it! I'm sorry. Oh my God, are you okay? Are you okay? No! No!

Chev: Shit!

Eve: [''Chev gets on top of her''] Get off! You filthy animal! Take me right here, in front of everyone! That's it! Come on! Do it! What are you waiting for?!

Chev: Jesus! Come on! I'm trying! Shush!

Eve: Oh, God! Now you can't get it up? Come on, get it up!

Chev: I'll fucking get it up!

Eve: Goddammit, Chev!

Chev: [''Starts vigorously [[w:Doggy style|doggy-styling; ''All the passerbys all cheer in synchronity of Chev and he answers phone''] Shut up! ] Eve and pumps with fists] I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive, you motherfuckers! Oh, my God! Wow! Oh, my God! Yes! Yeah?

Eve: What are you doing?!

Chev: Yeah.

Kaylo: I've got Verona!

Chev: Kaylo?!

Kaylo: I've got Verona, man.

Chev: What? No shit? Where are you?

Kaylo: Don Kim's shirt factory, upstairs.

Eve: What's the matter with you?!

Chev: [[w:Alameda Street|Alameda] 5th and ]?

Eve: Who's at 5th and Alameda?!

Chev: Don't let that fucker out of your sight! Hear me? With you in 10 minutes. You got it?!

Kaylo: Yeah, Chev.

Chev: [''Hangs up phone''; ''Leaves''] Honey, I gotta go. I'll call you!

Eve: [''To bystanders''] Oh God, what are you looking at?!

Chev: I'm looking for something which begins with E.

Pharmacist: [[w:England|England] ]?

Chev: [[w:History of catecholamine research|Some kind of artificial adrenaline] Very funny. No. ].

Pharmacist: Artificial adrenaline?

Chev: Yeah, I've got heart problems.

Pharmacist: [[w:Epinephrine|Epinephrine] ].

Chev: Yes! Epinephrine. I love you. Epinephrine.

Pharmacist: I can't give you epinephrine.

Chev: Why?! Hey!

Pharmacist: Just a minute.

Chev: [''Noticing [[w:Decongestant|nasal decongestant] Oi! What do you mean... ] nearby] What is this shit?!

Chester: Nasal spray.

Chev: Miserable bitch! What?!

Chester: Nasal spray. It's got epinephrine in it. It'll get you tweaked, man.

Police: Sure that's the guy?

Hospital staff: Yeah.

Chev: This room's clear.

Hospital security: [''Chev gives chase''] Yo, yo, yo! Yo! Stop! Stop! Jerk-off!

Chev: [''Points gun at hospital orderly pushing a cart''] Coming through! I know you motherfuckers have epinephrine. Clear the hallway! I'm having a bad day. Tell me you've got epinephrine on this cart!

Orderly: You all right?

Chev: Tell me you've got epinephrine! Motherfucker!

Orderly: I don't know. I'll check.

Chev: Get back!

Orderly: Take it easy!

Chev: [[w:American English|Do you understand fucking English] ]?

Orderly: Yes, I just don't know which drawer it's in.

Chev: Come on, look! Give me the fucking epinephrine!

Orderly: I don't know where it is, man!

Chev: What is this, a rest home? What are you doing?! Hurry up! Get back!

Orderly: [[w:Health insurance in the United States|We can't treat without insurance] ]. I don't know if I have it, give me a second!

Hospital security: Put the weapon down!

Chev: What the fuck?! Where the fuck is it? My heart!

Orderly: What?

Chev: My heart!

Orderly: Yeah, yeah.

Hospital security: Drop your weapon now! What do you think you're doing? This is...

Chev: Shut up! You! Gimme the epinephrine? Don't even think about it!

Orderly: [[w:Albuterol|Albuterol; [w:Barbiturate|Flortab] ]... ]... Epinephrine! Here it is! I've got it! Here you go.

Chev: Gimme that.

Orderly: Asshole.

Chev: [''Referring to [[w:Defibrillation|defibrillator paddles] I'm not gonna tell you again. ...all right? Just be quiet. Juice me.

Orderly: Juice?

Chev: Do it.

Orderly: All right.

Chev: Come on! I haven't got all day. Okay, I need both of them to... give them to me.

Orderly: One. Two. Clear!

Chev: [''Orderly defibrillates Chev causing him to shoot backwards into the elevator and the doors close''; ''Chev becomes hyper-adrenalised and runs maniacally out of the hospital''] Get the fuck back! Get out! How much of this stuff did he say to take?

Doc Miles: Chevy, we're in the air, man. Did you get the stuff?

Chev: Got it.

Doc Miles: Did you take it?

Chev: Yup.

Doc Miles: You took the whole thing.

Chev: Yup.

Doc Miles: I said 1/5th oḟ ạ syrịṇge. The shit's gonna kill you.

Chev: Right.

Doc Miles: Chest on fire?

Chev: Check.

Doc Miles: But you're cold.

Chev: Check.

Doc Miles: [[w:erection|got a steel hard on] And you've ], don't you?

Chev: Let me check. Check.

Doc Miles: [[w:Urethral sphincters|Urinary sphincter] Your blood vessels are stimulated. ]'s so tight, you couldn't piss to save your life.

Chev: Urinary sphincter, check!

Doc Miles: [[w:Hydrocodone/paracetamol|Vicodin] Get some ]. You at the hospital?

Chev: Negative.

Doc Miles: Get some grass. That shit'll be out of your system in 30 minutes, or it'll kill you. This is costing me a fortune. I'll call you in 20 minutes when we land.

Chev: Copy.

Doc Miles: Hey, Chevy? You're a good dude. Been nice knowing you.

Chev: Copy, out.

Newscaster: [''A [[w:Facial composite|particularly well-done police sketch; ''Chev then walks up to [[w:California Highway Patrol|a police highway patrolman on a motorcycle] Some medical emergency. Police have declined to name the man they say is still at large, on a citywide rampage that has left one man dead, dozens injured, and hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage... in it's smoking, bloody wake. ] of Chev appears] The suspect is a professional killer... with ties to organized crime and a long police record. He is considered armed and highly dangerous. We now continue with regularly scheduled programming, but stay tuned for continuing coverage of this bizarre story, as it unfolds... ] and steals his firearm]

Patrolman: Oh, shit!

Chev: Take it easy. Get back, pig!

Patrolman: I... just give me the...

Chev: Come on, then. Let's see you run, piggy. Come on, piggy.

Patrolman: Give me the gun. Let's talk this over.

Chev: [''Chev steals the motorcycle with the patrolman hanging and sparks flying from boots and Chev drives off and deliberately crashes the motorcycle''] Yeah, you want it? There. Let's go, come on.

Chev: How'd you like that one, tough guy? How frickin awesome was that, huh? Well, well, well. You feel like talking? Where's your fuckin brother?

Aaron: Doing your mother like a whore, you bitch!

Chev: [[w:Cut of beef|I wonder how many steaks I could carve out of you] Nice. ].

Aaron: You died, motherfucker! Yeah, wanna fuck with me, ese?

Chev: What, you rolling pin mighty good?

Aaron: [''Chev executes Aaron with his own gun''] What the hell you think you doing, huh? What, you want to dance with me, motherfucker? I'll fuck you up! Come on!

Chev: [''Throws Aaron's hand to Kaylo''] Jesus! Nothing's easy. Wanna hold hands?

Ricky: [''Answers phone''] Hey, talk to me, bro.

Chev: [[w:Fellatio|How much for sucking me off; [w:Emasculation|Are you in the mood; [w:Anilingus|Maybe let me lick your ass or something] Hey, Ricky. ]? ]? ]?

Aaron: Who is this?! Shit! Chelios?! Is this fucking Chelios?!

Chev: That's right, bro. Guess how I got your brother's phone? I'm sure you have it all figured out. Looks like you should've cut me up when you had the chance. I'm having a little trouble hearing you. You experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight?

Aaron: You're supposed to be fucking dead!

Chev: You know, I kind of like that shit you put in me. Gonna give me some more?

Ricky: Well, I'm... I'm...

Chev: [[w:Homophobia in ethnic minority communities|You guys really are faggots] I know, I know. Hey... What's this?! A necklace?! ], huh?!

Ricky: That's the medallion my grandfather gave by dad and- You know what you take that and you shove it up your ass. Fuck! Fuck you, man! Shove that thing up your ass!

Chev: No thanks. You know, I think I'll hang on to it. You'll have to come find me, after all. Fucked up that you killed your own brother.

Doc Miles: Hey, Chev. My flight's delayed.

Chev: Shit!

Doc Miles: [[w:ephedrine|ephedrine] It's all right. Relax. I mean, don't relax. That shit they gave you is cutting off your adrenaline. Excitement, fear, danger. It causes your body to make a chemical called ]. They introduced an inhibitor to your system.

Chev: Fuck!

Doc Miles: [[w:Adrenaline|epinephrine] Dude, you've got to massively increase the ephedrine levels in your body, to force out the inhibitors. Go to a hospital. Get ], an artificial adrenaline. It comes in 10-milligram syringes. It's potent, so don't overdo it. A 5th of an injection will do. Chevy? Did you get that? Did you get that?

Chev: Yeah, epi-something.

Doc Miles: Okay, okay. I've gotta go. Now, I'll call you when I get there.

Chev: [''Jumps with clothes on ịṇto the pool of Carlito's penthouse condominium where he is swimming''] Hey, boss. Something urgent has come up.

Carlito: So I've heard. Word travels fast.

Chev: Carlito, I need your help. I don't have a lot of time.

Carlito: No, not much.

Chev: We've gotta find an antidote, or something. What's the matter?

Carlito: That shit they gave you... It's that Chinese shit. There is no antidote.

Chev: What, that's it?

Carlito: Honestly, you should be dead already. It's a miracle.

Chev: A miracle?

Carlito: We give that shit to horses.

Chev: You don't have to be so damn fucking cool about it.

Carlito: What do you expect me to do?

Chev: [[w:Wolverine|wolverines] Find that punk Verona, and his whole fucking crew, and feed them to a cage of ]. What is this? What, are you boys now or something?

Carlito: Verona? That's a small time punk. Not to say that this isn't an opportunity.

Chev: Opportunity?!

Carlito: Everyone knows the love I have for you, Chev. But maybe this makes up for the Don Kim hit which was... perhaps ill-advised.

Chev: Ill-advised?!

Carlito: The heat from Hong Kong was much more than we anticipated.

Chev: Well, that's outstanding. Glad to know my death can be of some use to you.

Carlito: Don't be difficult.

Chev: I'm not being difficult. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm having a difficult fucking day, brother! I'm out of here.

Cab driver: [''Ċhev ạpproạçhes''] You're not getting in my cab wet!

Chev: I just gave you $200 to wait for 3 minutes.

Cab driver: You're not getting in my car, no way!

Chev: [''Grabs cab driver and throws him to ground''; ''Shouts to nearby restaurant patio diners, pointing to him''; [:Al-Qaeda|Al-Qaeda; ''Restaurant patio diners do a dog pile on him''] Yeah, you're right. ]! Al-Qaeda!

Cab driver: [[w:Jingoism|I love America; [w:Public image of George W. Bush|I love Bush; [w:George W. Bush 2004 presidential campaign|I Voted Bush] ]! ]! ]!

Orlando: Yo, Chevy...

Chev: Where's Verona? Talk!

Orlando: What about?!

Chev: Don't fuck with me!

Orlando: I'm not! Just calm down!

Chev: Don't tell me to calm down!

Orlando: Fuck, man!

Henchman: [[w:White trash|a white nigger] Orlando? You all right? Hey, there's ] with a gun up in here!

Orlando: Just be still, motherfuckers! You see that? I'm trying to help you here, man.

Chev: I gotta find Ricky Verona.

Orlando: Why would I know where Verona is?

Chev: [''All henchman come thronging into washroom pointing all their guns at Chev''] Yeah, yeah. You don't know, but you're gonna tell me. Or I'm gonna blow your brains into the fuckin toilet! I'm gonna fucking kill him!

Orlando: [[w:Somali Civil War|them Somalia niggers] Whoa! Put your guns down! The white man is cool! The white man is... The white man is cool! Y'all like ]. Now look, Chevy came here to discuss something. We gonna discuss this shit in a civilized manner. Chevy? You had a question? Or a point to make?

Chev: Where's Verona?

Orlando: [[w:Kane Spring, California|Anselmo] Okay, I'm not affiliated with Ricky Verona. You pulled the ] job together.

Chev: Don't fuckin bullshit me!

Orlando: Easy! Easy! Easy! All right? Look, you're operating under a false pretence. Ricky and I did not pull... the Anslemo job together. Ricky fucked me on the Anselmo job. In fact, Ricky Verona still owes me $7,5000.

Chev: Not how I heard it.

Orlando: [[w:Gucci|the Gucci] But that's the way it is. So, you see, I don't know where Verona is. If I did, I'd probably be there right now, beating ] off his ass.

Chev: All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about. That's almost civilized.

Orlando: Shit, dude. What's wrong with you?

Chev: Just give me some coke. You got any coke?

Orlando: Now you're gonna insult me.

Chev: Come on, I don't have time! Just give me something. I'm really dying, here.

Orlando: I can see that.

Chev: I'm really fucking dying!

Ọrlạṇdo: [[w:List of cocaine analogues|this is medicinal-use coke] You saying ]?

Çhev: Ṭhạṭ's rịght.

Orlando: Well?!

Chev: What?!

Orlando: [''Chev throws out some dollar bills''; ''Chev opens coke bag spilling contents on floor''] This shit ain't free, nigga. That's enough. What, you gonna do the shit right here? Oh God! Chevy... What the... oh, that's good, that's good. That's good right? Why you looking for Verona anyway?

Chev: Some Chinese assholes hired him to kill me. This is about Don Kim. What do you know about it?

Orlando: I know you pulled the trigger.

Chev: Of course I pulled the trigger. Why wouldn't I pull the fuckin trigger?

Orlando: Whoa... yo, Chelios, you good?

Chev: This shit ain't working.

Orlando: Excuse me?

Chev: I know what I have to do.

Orlando: Well, shit. A man's got to do what a man's got to do. What is it you gotta do?

Chev: I gotta kick some black ass.

Orlando: What?! Shit! There he goes again.

Chev: [[w:Reverse racism|Who wants white meat; ''Chev fights Orlando's associates while going to his car and drives off''] ]?!

Orlando's associates: You ain't got shit, motherfucker! Put that fuckin twig down, bitch! Faggot! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!

Chev: [''Answers phone''] Doc? What's up, Doc?

Ricky: You motherfucker! Why aren't you dead yet?! What the fuck you doing?!

Chev: Coming for you. Fucking believe me. Whatever.

Ricky: [[w:List of James Bond villains|that gay James Bond tape] I'll be waiting, but you won't make it. You should know that I'm all about hooking up with that mystery girl, you've been banging. Soon as you're underground. I forgot to say so on ] I left.

Chev: What and then you're gonna rape my grandmother? Blah blah fuckin blah you lịttle mug. You listen to me. What do you think Carlito will do when he finds out what you did? Your whole crew is history!

Pursuing police cruiser: Driver, pull over!

Chev: Fuck! Great.

Ricky: You talking about Carlito? Because me and Carlito, we're boys now. We're tight.

Chev: Tight, like when your brother fucked you in 3rd grade?

Ricky: That's snappy. But I did you pretty good, didn't I Chelios? Admit it. We'll see.

Pursuing police cruiser: Pull over!

Chev: Know what the best part is? Sorry, must go. Bye-bye. Yeah. Doctor Miles. Fuck! What took you so long? Jesus Christ. Sorry Chevy I just got the message. Okay. Forget it. Listen, I'm dying! I've been poisoned with some Chinese synthetic shit. What? You've gotta fucking do something for me.

Doc Miles: What are your symptoms?

Chev: It's like I'm slowing down.

Doc Miles: Stuck in tar. Blurred vision?

Chev: Yeah.

Doc Miles: Dizzy?

Chev: Sure.

Doc Miles: Any pain in your chest?

Chev: Not really. I feel good right now.

Doc Miles: What are you doing?

Chev: Driving through a mall cops chasing me.

Doc Miles: The adrenaline is what's keeping you alive.

Chev: Having a little trouble hearing you.

Doc Miles: You got to keep moving, Chevy.

Chev: Explain.

Doc Miles: [[w:adrenal gland|the adrenal gland; [w:Sensory neuron|it's receptors] If I'm right they gave you the “Beijing cocktail”. It's very nasty shit. It works on ], blocks ]. The only thing you can do to slow it down, is to keep the flow of adrenaline constant. Meaning if you stop you die.

Chev: Hang on.

Doc Miles: Jesus! What... Are you there? Are you okay?

Chev: What'd you say Doc? If you stop, you die!

Doc Miles: That's what I'm trying to do. Keep moving, keep the blood pumping. Chevy, you there?

Chev: Every time I slow down it's like my veins start to rust.

Doc Miles: Did you take anything?

Chev: Couple grams of coke.

Doc Miles: That's a start.

Chev: I'll be in L.A. In an hour.

Chev: Who want's some white meat now?

Chev: Bonjour, Douchebag!

Chev: Yeah, blah, blah, fuckin´ blah you little mug!

Chev: [After chopping Ricky Verona's brother's hand off] You like that tough guy? How frickin awesome was that, huh?

Chev: Don't pop a blood vessel you little penis.

Lee Christmas: From one friend to another...

Barney Ross: What?

Lee Christmas: You really need to learn how to fight.

Lee Christmas: What's the plan?

Barney Ross: Track him, find him, kill him.

Gunner Jensen: I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.

Lee Christmas: What's he doing?

Barney Ross: Probably making a bomb.

Barney Ross: Ask him.

Lee Christmas: What you doing, Gunner?

Gunner Jensen: I'm making a bomb. You mind?

Barney Ross: A maniac with brains.

Lee Christmas: Scary.

Pilar: Who you are?

Barney Ross: [[w:American people|We're Americans] ].

Lee Christmas: Since when?

Gunner Jensen: Swedish.

Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.

Maggie: Chinese.

Toll Road: Retards.

Barney Ross: [''To Toll Road''] You done?

Gunner Jensen: She's into me.

Hale Caesar: She hates you.

Gunner Jensen: [''Feigns coughing and Maggie just stares at him unimpressed and Hale makes a throat slashing gesture with a razor blade''] Watch this.

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''] You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?

Barney Ross: I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.

Lee Christmas: Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.

Barney Ross: Really?

Lee Christmas: Yeah.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's phone rings''] Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''; ''To Lacy''; ''Makes thumbs-down gesture to Barney''] You know, I will stab you one day. Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about?

Barney Ross: [''Scoffs''] Hopeless.

Maggie: [''To Bill''] Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Afghanistan|Afghanistan; [w:Kunar Province|Kunar Province] Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was ], ].

Maggie: Didn't like it anymore?

Bill The Kid Timmons: Uhh... long story.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Taliban|Taliban; ''Maggie looks down and back heartfelt''] All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 ] opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am.

Barney Ross: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.

Lee Christmas: Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?

Barney Ross: She cheated on you.

Lee Christmas: It was a half-cheat.

Barney Ross: Which is?

Lee Christmas: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.

Barney Ross: Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas: I should stab you in the heart.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's wife comes over''] Too late.

Lee Christmas: You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.

Lacy: [''To Barney''] Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?

Barney Ross: [''Gets up to sit at a table with other colleagues''] Cross my heart.

Lee Christmas: If he had one.

Hale Caesar: [''Referring to Barney''] Look whose lost in space.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Barney takes out elaborately decorated pen''] Got a pen?

Lee Christmas: Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?

Barney Ross: Matter of fact, I don't.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Writes out physics equation on napkin and holds it up''; [w:Albert Einstein|Einstein; [w:Special relativity|Theory of Special Relativity; ''Blows nose in napkin''] ]'s ], only I made it better.

Lee Christmas: Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

Lee Christmas: [''Dressed as a priest''] By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

Bacon: Right. Let's sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't. Because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping, you're up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite; Fanny by the gaslight. Take a bag, come mon, take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewellery? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It's as long as my arm; I wish it was as long as something else. Don't think because these boxes are sealed up, they're empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I'd make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.

Eddie: Did you say ten pound?

Bacon: Are you deaf?

Eddie: That's a bargain. I'll take one.

Bacon: Squeeze in if you can. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking. You want one as well, darling? You do? That's it, they're waking up! Treat the wife. Treat somebody else's wife. It's a lot more fun if you don't get caught. Hold on. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life, then. It's no good standing out there like one o'clock half-struck. Buy them, you better buy them. These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for, and we can't get them again, they've changed the bloody locks. Here, one for you. It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you'll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.

Eddie: Bacon, cozzers!

Bacon: [quickly throws all the goods inside a suitcase and starts running] Shit.

Bacon: [To Dog holding up a gun] Bend over the fucking desk!

Bacon: Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go. Hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe.

Rick Ford: [[parachute; [Cirque du Soleil] You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a ] and broke both legs upon landing. I still had to pretend I was in a fucking ] show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and reattached with this fuckin arm.

Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible. I mean, medically…

Rick Ford: [[Barack Obama] During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of Congress as ].

Susan Cooper: In blackface? That's not appropriate.

Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while on fire. Not the car. I was on fire.

Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

Rick Ford: What're you gonna do? Bring one of your cats as a sidekick?

Susan Cooper: I don't have any cats.

Rick Ford: Nothing kills me. I'm immune to one-hundred seventy-nine different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.

Rick Ford: You—times infinity.

Rick Ford: [[piano] Well, I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do. Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up ] at a late age.

Rick Ford: [[Face/Off] And I know there's a fucking ] machine! You're jus keeping it secret from me.

Rick Ford: I'm pretty sure we all took a fucking vow. I remember it. I remember raising my fucking hand and saying some shit.

Jonas Taylor: You sure about this?

Suyin Zhang: (nodding enthusiastically) Not really...

Jonas Taylor: [[story; [money; [nature] You're going to tell me your ] and I'm going to say no. You're going to offer me ] and I'm going to say no. You're going to try to appeal to my better ] and I'm still going to say no because I don't have one.

Jonas Taylor: Chew on this, you ugly bastard!

Jonas Taylor: That thing's out there. We need to find it and kill it.

Jonas Taylor: My God, it's a Megalodon.

Jan: What do you want? You here for the money?

H: I don't want the money. I want you to read this.

Jan: Bullets A-1 and A-2 entered the right lung, causing collapse. Bullet B-1 penetrated the liver, and Bullet B-2 ruptured the spleen. Bullets C-1 and C-2 lacerated the heart. Cause of death, blood loss and trauma. Manner of death, homicide.

H: In summary, the liver, the lungs, the spleen, and the heart.

Jan: What the fuck do you want?

H: I want your liver.

Jan: Fuck…

H: [''H shoots''; ''H shoots''] Your lungs . Your spleen . By the way, his name was Dougie.

Bullet: You know I like you, right, H? Well, there's somethin I need to tell you. About me. I've got some friends. I help em out. They help me out from time to time. My pals, I helped em get into the cash truck game, in a manner of speaking. With me on the inside. You get me?

H: Nah, Bullet, I don't.

Bullet: I tell them which trucks to hit and they hit em. The two guards being killed was necessary. The boy was unfortunate. But we're a winning team. Militarily precise. You with me now?

H: Yeah. I with you 100%. Continue.

Bullet: For starters, there are no bullets in your gun. Secondly, I have to tell you, the will kill you if you don't comply. So, do as I say, and you won't get hurt.

H: And why do you need me?

Bullet: We need somethin super-sized. So we can walk away for good. We want the jackpot.

H: The depot. You want me to get you in.

Bullet: Then you can look the other way.

H: When, Bullet?

Bullet: Today. There's no turning back.

H: And what's in it for me?

Bullet: Your life. Do we have a deal?

H: Yeah. We have a deal.

Jane: [Dougie] He looked up to you. He was obsessed with you.

H: It wasn't my work, Jane.

Jane: [''Jane crying softly.''; ''Jane sniffles.''; ''Jane leaves.''] You killed our son. And still, you have nothing to say. You are a cold, cold cunt.

Lyle: [[w:Shawn Fanning|he; [w:Napster|Napster] And then ]'s just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should have been on the cover of WIRED magazine. You know what he said? He said he named it ] because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, it's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn't even graduate.

Handsome Rob: I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they'd do the same to you.

Left Ear: So come on, gentlemen, shopping list. Who's doing what? Spare no dirty details.

John: Come on, guys. Take a lesson from an old man. Don't spend it. Invest.

Left Ear: In what?

John: In gold.

Left Ear: What are you getting, Rob?

Handsome Rob: Ah, I don't know. There's a lot of things you can get with a lot of money. You know, I'm just thinking about naked girls in leather seats.

Left Ear: Obviously. See?

Handsome Rob: [[w:Aston-Martin Vanquish|Aston-Martin Vanquish] Suppose I'll get the ]. There's not a lot a girl won't do in the passenger seat of one of those things.

Lyle: I'm gonna get a NAD T-770 digital decoder with a seventy-watt amp and and Burr Brown DAC's.

Left Ear: [at a loss] Yeah...

Lyle: It's a big stereo. Speakers so loud, they blow women's clothes off.

Handsome Rob: Now you're talking!

Left Ear: [points] Thirty-five million dollars, you can't get more creative than that, man? I'm going to Andalusia. The south of Spain. Right over there. Get me a big house, get me a library full of first editions, get a room for my shoes... What about you, Steve?

Steve Bendel: I don't know. I haven't decided yet.

Left Ear: You haven't decided yet? Come on, man. Is it the mountain air? Just —

Steve: I liked what you said. I'll take one of each of yours.

Left Ear: [Laughs] Well here's to two of everything for Steve!