Joe Pesci Quotes

The Irishman

Conflict Between Loyalty and Morality

Russell Bufalino Jimmy was a good man, you know? He had a nice family too, huh? I never wanted it to go that far. I picked us, over him. Fuck em. Fuck em. Fuck em.

[pause]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

GoodFellas

You are Funny

Henry You're a pistol! You're really funny. You're really funny!

Tommy What do you mean I'm funny?

Henry It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy!

Tommy [dangerously] What do you mean? You mean the way I talk? What?

Henry It's just, you know, you're just funny. It's funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it?

Anthony Tommy, no, you got it all wrong —

Tommy Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. [to Henry] What did ya say? Funny how?

Anthony You're right.

Henry Just —

Tommy What?

Henry Just, ya know, you're funny.

Casino

Skimming Cash in the Casino Operation

Nicky Santoro They had so much fucking money in there, you could build a house outta stacks of $100 bills. And the best part was that upstairs, the board of directors didn't know what the fuck was going on. I mean, to them, everything looked on the up-and-up, right? Wrong! The guys inside the counting room were all slipped in there to skim the joint dry. They'd do short counts, they'd lose fill slips. They'd even take cash right outta the drop boxes. And it was up to this guy, right here, standing in front of about 2 million dollars, to skim the cash off the top without anybody getting wise — the IRS, or anybody. Now, notice how in the count room, nobody ever seems to see anything. Somebody's always looking the other way. Now look at these guys. They look busy, right? They're counting money. Who'd want to bother them? I mean, God forbid they should make a mistake and forget to steal. Meanwhile, you're in and you're out, past the jack-off guard, who gets an extra C note a week just to watch the door. I mean, it's routine, business as usual — in, out, hello, goodbye — and that's all there is to it. Just another fat fuck, walking out of the casino with a suitcase. Now that suitcase was going straight to one place: right to Kansas City, which was as close to Las Vegas as the Midwest bosses could go without getting themselves arrested. That suitcase was all the bosses ever wanted, and they wanted it every month.

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Casino

Addressing Disrespect in Personal Relationships

Nicky Santoro You know, I don't wanna bring this up, but you've been treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect, even your own wife.

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Casino

Anger over loyalty and betrayal

Nicky Santoro Charlie M? Charlie M?! YOU MADE ME POP YOUR FUCKING EYE OUTTA YOUR HEAD TO PROTECT THAT PIECE OF SHIT?! CHARLIE M?! YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!

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Casino

Dependability in Ambitious Plans

Nicky Santoro You know I'm trying to put something really big together out here. You know what I'm talking about, huh? You know! If you're acting like this now, how can I depend on you?

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Casino

A Threatening Business Proposition

Nicky Santoro I think that you've gotten the wrong impression about me. I think, in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see and uh, if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm coming out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fucking head open again. Cause I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do. And we know what you do, don't we, Charlie? You fuck people out of money and get away with it! Hey, you fat Irish prick, you put my fucking money to sleep! You go get my money or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep!

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Casino

Distance and Deception in Business Transactions

Nicky Santoro I used to send Marino back home with a piece of what I made. Not a big piece, but what did they know? They were 1,500 miles away, and I don't know anyone who can see that far.

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GoodFellas

Get Yourself a Nice Girl

Tommy's Mother Why don't you get yourself a nice girl?

Tommy I get a nice one almost every night, Ma.

Tommy's Mother Yeah, but get yourself a girl so you could settle down.

Tommy I settle down almost every night but then, in the morning, I'm free.

Casino

Regret Over Mistaken Choices

Nicky Santoro I've fucked up, Frankie. I fucked up real good this time. I should never have started with this fucking broad.

[To Frank Marino, realizing how far he's gone with his affair with Ginger]

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The Irishman

Discussion of Quality Ingredients in Cooking

Russell Bufalino It was the best move we made, getting this red wine vinegar from Angelo's guy. Great Italian olive oil we got from that other mooch was not bad either. Catania olives, what better.

Frank Sheeran The best.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

JFK

Mystery of the President's Assassination

Jim Garrison Who killed the President?

David Ferrie Oh, man, why don't you fucking stop it? Shit! This is too fucking big for you, you know that? Who did the President? Who killed Kennedy? Fuck, man! It's a mystery! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The shooters don't even know! Don't you get it?! Fuck, man! I can't keep talking like this! They're gonna fucking kill me! I'm gonna fucking die! Son of a bitch!

[smokes a joint, then cracks]

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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Tables Turn in a Dangerous Encounter

Marv My, how the tables have turned.

Harry How do you like the ice, kid? Let's go for a little stroll in the park. Give me that bag. Give me it! Hey, these'll look great in the photo album.

[he and Marv laugh, pick up Kevin and force him to walk beside them]

Marv You may have won the battle, little dude, but you've lost the war.

Harry You ought not have messed with us, pal. We're dangerous.

[pulls his varnish-covered revolver out of his pocket]

Marv Harry?

Harry Shut up.

Marv Harry.

[watches the pigeons in the trees]

Harry Shut up! I wanna enjoy this.

Marv Something's wrong. Let's get out of here.

Harry Shut up, I said! I never made it to the sixth grade, kid, and it doesn't look like you're gonna either.

[still pointing revolver at Kevin]

Pigeon Lady Let him go! KEVIN, RUN!

[shows up with a bucket full of birdseed; Harry and Marv look at her; Kevin runs away]

Marv Shoot her! Shoot her! SHOOT HER!

Harry I'M TRYING TO SHOOT HER!

[tries to do so, but his fingers are too sticky to get a grip]

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A Bronx Tale

A Conversation About Life and Gratitude

Calogero How ya doing, Sonny? Not so good, huh? I was so pissed at Tess, that's what I wanted to tell you. She might be my first great one, and I'm going to go out with her. Thanks for helping me. I want to thank you for saving my life; I never got a chance to tell you. They all died: Slick, Alto, Mario, Ralphie, all of them. Sorry, I thought I was alone. I'm just thinking out loud.

[hears footsteps and turns to see someone else walking in]

Carmine That's okay, it's understandable.

[steps to Sonny's coffin and crosses himself]

Calogero See this man there's a great man. He saved my life.

Carmine Yeah? You're Lorenzo the bus driver's kid?

[takes a long look at Calogero]

Calogero Yeah.

Carmine C", right?

Calogero Yeah.

Carmine Sonny told me all about you.

Calogero Sorry, but I don't even know who you are.

Carmine My name's Carmine. We go back a long way together, Sonny and me. He saved my life, too, once...You don't remember me, do you? Many years ago, the fire house? You don't remember this?

[Calogero shakes his head; points to the scar on his forehead]

Calogero Yeah, the baseball bat. You were the guy that got hit with a baseball bat, right? Yeah, I remember. I was there, I saw the whole thing.

[remembers; Carmine smiles and nods]

Carmine I know, kid. Sonny told me what you did. Listen, I've been away, but I'm gonna be in the neighborhood now, taking care of things for a while. If you need anything, I want you to come and see me at the bar, okay?

Calogero I think I'm gonna give the bar a rest for a while, but thanks anyway.

Carmine That's okay, I understand.

Calogero Was that fight really over a parking space?

Carmine ...No. Don't forget, you need anything, you come to the bar, and you see me. ANYTHING.

[crosses himself once more, puts his hand reverently on Sonny, then looks back to Calogero; Calogero nods]

Calogero Alright.

Carmine So long, kid.

[leaves]

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The Irishman

The Power Dynamics of Trust and Responsibility

Frank Sheeran Russell had a piece of everything. He had this store in Pittston called Penn Drape & Curtains. And he ran everything out of there. Who knew what it all was? I mean, I'm sure the man had partners. They always have partners. Nobody keeps all the money. But everybody listened to Russ. That I can tell you. You wanted to bribe a judge, you asked Russell. You didn't know how much to bribe him, Russell was gonna tell you. You wanna promote one of your guys, Russ would tell you you could or you could not. You wanna make somebody disappear, you gotta get Russell's permission. You know, no two ways about it. And when you did something for Russ, you did it yourself. Like Russ used to say...

[voice over]

Russell Bufalino When I ask somebody to take care of something for me, I expect them to take care of it themselves. I don't need two roads coming back to me.

[cuts to Russell, explaining straight to the camera]

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The Irishman

Loyalty Amidst Difficult Choices

Russell Bufalino Frank, I had to put you into this thing, or you would never let it happen, and I know you wouldn't. But it's gonna happen. Either way, he's going. I know how you feel, Frank. Trust me. I know how you feel. I told you before, we tried everything to help him, you know that. You tried. He brought this on himself. And it's landing on us. The only reason they agreed to this, is out of respect to me. But you and Reenie will be okay. Cuz you're with me. You're with me.

[pause; pause; pause]

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Home Alone

Family Conflict Over Pizza Dispute

Kate What is the matter with you?!

[to Kevin]

Kevin He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausage and olives and onions and...

Uncle Frank Look what you did, you little jerk!

[cutting him off]

Kate Kevin, get upstairs right now.

Kevin Why?

Jeff Kevin, you're such a disease.

Kevin Shut up!

Peter Kevin, upstairs!

Kate Say good night, Kevin.

Kevin Good night, Kevin". Why do I always get treated like scum?

[sarcastically]

Kate Oh, I am sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.

[to Pizza Boy]

Kevin How come you didn't bring any more cheese pizzas?

Pizza Boy Nice tip. Thanks a lot.

Kate Thanks.

Harry Having a reunion or something?

Kate My husband's brother transferred to Paris last year. His kids are still there. He missed the family, so he invited us to Paris so we can be together.

Harry You're taking a trip to Paris?

Kate Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Harry Excellent, excellent.

Kate If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.

Harry Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands.

Kate There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one who has to make trouble.

[escorting Kevin to the attic after he caused trouble in the kitchen]

Kevin I'm the only one getting dumped on.

Kate You're the only one actin up. Now, get upstairs.

Kevin I am upstairs, dummy. Third floor?

Kate Go.

Kevin It's scary up there.

Kate Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.

Kevin I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!

Kate Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

Kevin I'm sorry.

Kate It's too late. Get upstairs.

Kevin Everyone in this family hates me.

Kate Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Kevin I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!

Kate Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.

Kevin I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.

Kate I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.

[feeling hurt]

Kevin No, I wouldn't.

Kate Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.

Kevin I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!

[runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Irishman

A Father's Advice on Growth and Nourishment

Russell Bufalino Mangia, che cresci. Figlio mio, mangia. - (Eat, so you'll grow. Eat, my son.)

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

A Chase Through the Streets of New York

Marv Over there!

Harry I don't care if I get the electric chair, I'm killin that kid! Surrender, kid!

Marv He vanished.

Kevin I'm down here, you big horses ass!

Marv Whoa!

Kevin Nice night for a neck injury.

Marv Suck brick, kid! No!

[?]

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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

A Child in Peril in New York

Kevin You gotta help me! There's two guys after me!

Mr. Hector What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your... stolen credit card? Let's see what the police have to say about this.

Harry Get up! Get up! Come on, let's go get him!

Mr. Hector Get back here, you little thief! Stop that child!

Cedric Grab him!

[he screams as he and Mr. Hector crash into Mrs. Stone and fall over]

Mr. Hector You little sh...

Kevin I've committed credit card fraud.

Mr. Hector Get me security! We've got to stop that delinquent! Come along, Cedric!

Kevin I've had enough of this vacation. I'm goin home.

Johnny Hold it right there!

Mr. Hector This is the Concierge, sir.

Johnny I knew it was you. I could smell ya gettin off the elevator! You was here last night too, wasn't ya?

Mr. Hector Yes, sir. I was.

Johnny You was here...and you was smoochin wit my brother.

Mr. Hector But...I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.

Johnny Don't gimme that. You been smoochin wit everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Bony Bob, Cliff...

Cliff No. It's a lie!

Johnny I could go on forever, baby!

Mr. Hector I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.

Johnny Alright. I believe ya. . But my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.

[reveals his [[w:Thompson submachine gun|Tommy gun; Mr. Hector gives a confused look]

Mr. Hector On your knees. I love you!

[the entire staff gets down on their knees]

Johnny Ya gotta do better than that!

Staff I love you!

[in unison]

Johnny Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give ya til the count of 3 to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door! 1... 2...! 3! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! And a Happy New Year.

[Johnny opens fire wildly, cackling, as the hotel staff dive for cover; while Kevin mouths him from the emergency exit; shoots again; shoots once more]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Irishman

Understanding the Value Beyond Money

Russell Bufalino You don't need money, do you?

Jimmy Hoffa It's not about money.

Russell Well, if it's not about money, then I'm really having trouble understanding, because I don't know what all the talk is about?

Hoffa It's my union. Is that hard to understand?

Russell No, no. It's your union. That's right. It'll always be your union. You could step down and still run it.

Hoffa No, you don't step down.

Russell What do you mean?

Hoffa Russ, you don't step down to run a union. You step down to go to your grave.

Russell Well, listen. I still think — I can't help but think, I'm sorry — but is there another reason or something?

Hoffa This is my union! What do you mean another reason? This is my union! All right, let's start with that! And then try to understand things!

Russell Listen, some people, not me. But some people, they're a little concerned. Some people, not me. They think that you might—

Hoffa I might—?

Russell You might be demonstrating a failure to show appreciation.

Hoffa I'm not showing appreciation?

Russell According to, you know, some people.

Hoffa I went to school for five fucking years.

Russell Yes, you did.

Hoffa Five fucking years! I didn't name one fucking name!

Russell You did the right thing.

Hoffa I did the right thing.

Russell You did the right thing.

Hoffa Sat there everyday with that whining cocksucker from New Jersey, talking to me about his woes, his problems, and all I wanted to do was finish my ice cream in peace. This cocksucker shows up at a meeting! Fifteen minutes late! Wearing fucking shorts! Who wears shorts to a meeting?

[pointing to Tony Pro]

Russell Nobody.

Hoffa That's right.

Russell Nobody.

Hoffa I'm not showing appreciation?

Russell It's not me. According to some people.

Hoffa No, I know it's not you! Some people, some people say I'm not showing appreciation. Well, then fuck them.

Russell I'm trying to help you, Jim.

Hoffa I know you are. But nobody threatens Hoffa.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Raging Bull

Confrontation and Frustration in Raging Bull

Joey LaMotta Salvy, this ain't funny anymore. Is it you? I know somebody's there. I can hear you breathin'. You listenin'? Your mother sucks fuckin big fuckin elephant dicks. You got that?

[on the phone, not realizing it's his brother Jake who's called him]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Facing Fear in a Dangerous Situation

Harry You better say every prayer you ever heard before, kid!

Marv I hope your parents got ya a tombstone for Christmas! Where'd he go?!

Kevin I'm up here, and I'm very scared.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Irishman

Introducing Family Connections in The Irishman

Bill Bufalino Frank, I want you to meet my cousin, Russell Bufalino.

Frank Sheeran How are you?

[shakes hands]

Russell Bufalino Hi, nice to meet you.

Frank You helped me with my truck a couple of months ago.

Russell Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. The timing chain.

Frank Yeah.

Russell Did you get it fixed?

Frank I fixed it the next day, yeah.

Russell That a boy.

Frank Thanks again.

Russell Ah, you're welcome. It's my pleasure. I'm glad you fixed it. Better watch. There's a lot of tough guys around here. Did he tell you? You're not afraid of tough guys, are you?

[pause; Bill]

Frank No.

Russell I didn't think so. I'll see you around.

Bill Thanks, Russell.

Frank Your cousin saved my ass. I could'a lost the whole load.

Bill Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he knows everything about trucks, really. Yeah, he worked at Canada Drive for a long time.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Unexpected Encounters in New York City

Harry Come to Papa!

Marv Ha! Round trip to Miami. What's the matter, get on the wrong plane, squirt?

[grabs Kevin's plane ticket]

Harry Looks like you won't be needin this, kid.

[tears it up]

Marv American don't fly to the promised land, little buddy.

[they hustle him away]

Harry Come on. We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.

Marv We busted out of the clink and we're doing fine. We're gonna be doing even better, because we're not robbing houses anymore. Now we're robbing toy stores.

[Harry chuckles]

Marv At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that, we get a couple of phony passports, then it's off to Rio...

Harry Marv! Marv!

Marv Huh?

Harry You want to shut up?

Marv What's the difference? He's not gonna talk to anybody. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.

Harry Let's just get him to the subway tunnel. I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice. I've got a gun in my pocket. You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.

[to Kevin]

Marv Well, hello.

[trying to be suave again; she punches him in the face and he falls over]

Kevin He did it!

[indicating Harry]

Harry Did what?

[she punches Harry, too]

Kevin Thanks!

Harry Go get him!

Marv He went in the park.

Harry What are you doing, flirting?!

Marv Over there!

Boy Don't!

Girl Give it!

Marv Hey, Harry. I got him.

Harry Let me see! That ain't him! Put him down, that ain't him! We should've shot him while we had the chance. I hate pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.

Marv What else can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.

Harry Not this kid.

Marv But this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's all alone. Kids are scared of the park.

Harry Yeah, grown men come in the park and don't ever leave alive. Good luck, little fella.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Lethal Weapon 2

Lucky Number Nine

Leo Getz I remember, because 9 is my lucky number.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Casino

Maintaining Loyalty Through Ruthless Actions

Nicky Santoro But I knew how to keep the bosses happy. Whenever they gave me little jobs to do, you know, to send a message, I would carry things out to a tee. Like the time Tony Dogs, who's supposed to be the new maniac tough guy in town, shot up one of Remo's bars. Here's a fucking guy, kills two of Remo's guys and a poor fucking waitress who's just working on her night off of all things. I mean, this guy's just begging to be made an example of.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Good Shepherd

The Nature of War and Control

Joseph Palmi You're the guys that scare me. You're the people that make big wars.

Edward Wilson No, we make sure the wars are small ones.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Confrontation in the City Streets

Officer #2 Oh, my God!

Officer #1 All right, let's go.

Officer #2 On your feet.

Harry Take it easy.

Officer #1 You guys should have started earlier. The prisoners have already exchanged gifts.

Marv We missed the presents? He made us hide out in a toy store so we could steal all of the kid's charity money.

Harry Shut up, Marv!

[angrily kicks Marv]

Marv AAAH!

[pigeon flies out his jacket]

Harry Got the right to remain silent, ya know.

Marv He's a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.

Harry SHUT UP, MARV!!! Geez!

[angrily kicks Marv again]

Officer #1 Get em out of here.

Officer #2 All right, let's go.

Marv Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits! We're the Sticky Bandits! Ow! That's Sticky! That's S...

Harry Shut it!

Marv T, uh...

Harry I.

Marv I...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Irishman

Power and Violence in Leadership

Russell Bufalino If they can whack a President, they can whack a president of a union. You know it and I know it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Home Alone

Intruders Attempt to Lure Kevin Out

Harry Merry Christmas, little fella- we know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.

Marv Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santa Claus and his elf.

Harry We're not gonna hurt you.

Marv No, no. We got some nice presents for you.

Harry Be a good little fella now and open the door. Owww!

[Kevin shoots Harry in the groin; Harry falls to his knees as he mumbles under his breath]

Marv What? What? What? What? What happened?

Harry Get that little----!

Kevin Hello. Yes! Yes!

[shoots Marv in the head; Marv screams in pain]

Marv That little jerk is armed!

Harry That's it! That's it! I'm going in the front! You go down the basement! That smart aleck. Oh, boy. That's it, you little... You little... No, not this time, you little brat. You little creep, where are you?

[Harry gets his hand burnt, screams in agony and then puts his hand in the snow]

Kevin Yes! Yes! Yes!

Harry I'll rip his head off! You're dead, kid. Ahhhhhh! Where are you, you little creep?!

[Harry gets his head blowtorched; He runs out, and puts his head in the snow; kicks the door open]

Marv Harry, I'm coming in!

Kevin Oh, no! I'm very scared!

Harry It's too late for you, kid! We're already in the house! We're gonna get you!

[to Kevin]

Kevin Okay, come and get me!

Harry Why, you...! Now you're dead!

Marv I'm gonna kill that kid!

[climbs in through the window and steps barefoot on the ornaments; screams in pain]

Harry Marv.

Marv Harry?

Harry Why the hell'd you take your shoes off?!

Marv Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?

Kevin I'm up here, you butt heads! Come and get me! You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?

[they slip on the toy cars]

Harry Heads up! Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.

[Marv gets whacked by a paint can]

Marv Harry!

[Harry gets whacked by a paint can]

Kevin Yes!

Marv He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

Harry Ah, shut up, will you? What is it?

Marv Ooh, you're missing some teeth.

Harry Where? Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him! You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!

Dispatcher 911, what's your emergency?

Kevin Help, my house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy.

[disguising his voice]

Harry You never know what's up there. There he is!

[trips over the wire]

Marv I gotcha! I got him, Harry. I got him. Harry, get up! Give me a hand! I got him! Harry, help me! Get up! I got him.

[jumps over the wire and grabs Kevin by the ankle as he tries to run into the attic; screams as a tarantula is on his face]

Harry What are you doing, Marv?

Marv Harry, don't move.

Harry Marv?

Marv Don't... move.

Harry Marv, what are you doing? Marv...

[screams in agony from Marv hitting him with the crowbar to try and kill the tarantula]

Marv Did I get him? Did I get him? Where is it? Where is it?

Harry Never mind did you get it! How do you like it, huh?! You jerk! Get that kid! Go on! Get that kid! Where'd he go?

[whacks Marv with the crowbar repeatedly]

Marv Maybe he committed suicide.

Kevin Down here, you big horse's butt! Come and get me before I call the police!

Marv Let's get him!

Harry Wait, wait. That's just what he wants us to do- us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up.

Marv He's gonna call the cops!

Harry From a treehouse?! Come on.

Marv Out the window?

Harry Yeah.

Marv I'm not going out the window.

Harry Why, you scared, Marv? Are you afraid? Come on, get out here. Come on. Come on! Keep going. Keep going.

Marv Let's go back, Harry.

Harry Shut up. Shut it, Marv!

Kevin Hey, guys! Check this out.

Harry Go back! Go back. There he goes! There he is! Get out of the way, you dope!

Marv There he is!

Kevin Hey, I'm calling the cops.

Harry Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea. Come on. Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!

Marv What are we gonna do to him, Harry?!

Harry We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with his blowtorch.

Marv Then we can smash his face with an iron!

Harry I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe!

Marv Or shove a nail through his foot!

Harry The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of those little fingers, one at a time.

[Old Man Marley knocks them both down with a shovel]

Old Man Marley Come on, let's get you home.

[to Kevin]

Kevin Wow, this is great.

Officer 1 Nice move. Always leavin the water running. Now we know each and every house that you guys have hit.

Officer 2 Yeah, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.

Marv Yeah, well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits. Wet Bandits. That's W-E-T--

Harry Oh, shut up! Shut up! Get in the car! Hands off the head, pal!

Officer 1 Come on!

Casino

The Hidden Power Behind Las Vegas Casinos

Nicky Santoro These old greaseballs may not look it, but believe me, these are the men who secretly control Las Vegas, because they managed the Teamsters Union. The Teamsters Union was who you had to go to in order to borrow money to build a casino. And no one got approved for a loan from the Teamster's pension fund unless these guys in the room knew they were going to get their little suitcases.

[About the bosses]

Raging Bull

Confrontation of Desire and Commitment

Joey LaMotta What are ya thinkin about? Ya keep lookin'. Where the fuck you going? You're dead! You're married! You're a married man, it's all over. Leave the young girls for me.

Raging Bull

Title Shot Comes with a Twist

Joey LaMotta He gave you the old good news/bad news routine. The good news is - you're gonna get the shot at the title. And the bad news is - they want ya to do the old flip-flop for em.

Casino

Admiration for Unbreakable Toughness

Nicky Santoro To be truthful with you, I had to admire this fucking guy. He was one of the toughest Irishmen I ever met. This son-of-a-bitch was tough. For two days and two fucking nights, we beat the shit out of this guy. I mean, we even stuck ice picks in his balls. But he never talked. In the end, I had to put his fucking head in a vice.

[about Anthony Dogs' interrogation]

Betsy's Wedding

Family Betrayal and Accusations Unfold

Oscar Henner How could you do that to your husband? I'm your family!

Gloria Henner Oh, you're quite the family man. You were cheating on your wife. You're cheating on your brother-in-law. You're probably cheating on this poor secretary underpaid and overscrewed.

Oscar Henner I don't wanna hear this. This is ridiculous. I don't have to sit around and listen to that kind of talk.

Gloria Henner You're a rat, Oscar. You don't belong in a family, you belong in a pack!

The Good Shepherd

Cultural Identity and Community Connections

Joseph Palmi We Italians, we got our families and we got the church. The Irish, they have the homeland. The Jews, their traditions. Even the Niggers, they got their music. What about you people Mr. Wilson, what do you have?

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Kerosene and Christmas: An Unexpected Encounter

Marv Harry? You wearing aftershave?

Harry That's not aftershave, that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.

Marv Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?

Kevin Merry Christmas.

[lights a match, Harry and Marv look at him; sets the rope on fire]

Harry GO UP!

[Marv screams in horror]

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Underestimating the Opponent in Home Alone 2

Marv Where'd he go?!

Kevin I'm up here! Come and get me!

[on the roof; takes a picture of them]

Marv Let's kill!

Harry Hold on, pea-brain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.

Marv This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's runnin scared. He ain't got a plan.

Harry May I do the thinking, please? Thank you. Sonny!

[Marv gestures "go ahead"; calls up to Kevin]

Kevin Yes?

Harry Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knockin off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Understand?

Kevin Mmm-hmm.

Harry But since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal wit'cha. You throw down your camera, and we won't hurt ya. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?

Kevin You promise?

Harry I cross my heart and hope to die.

Kevin Okay!

Harry Okay, kid. Give it to me!

[he and Marv snicker; Kevin throws a brick, hitting Marv on the forehead]

Marv Oh!

[falls down]

Kevin Direct hit!

Casino

Nicky Santoro's Defiance Against Authority

Nicky Santoro You said I'm bringing heat on you?! I gotta listen to people because of your fucking shit?! You're ordering me out?! You better get your own fucking army, pal!

[Chewing out Sam in the Nevada desert]

The Irishman

Acceptance of Reality in Tough Conversations

Russell Bufalino It's at a point where your gonna have to talk to him and tell him, "It's what it is". It's what they want. It's where it's gotten.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

New York City: Land of Opportunity

Harry Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. Smell that?

[takes a deep breath]

Marv Yeah.

[takes a deep breath]

Harry You know what that is?

Marv Fish.

Harry It's freedom.

Marv No, it's fish.

Harry It's freedom, and it's money.

Marv Okay, okay, it's freedom.

Harry Come on, let's get out of here before somebody sees us.

[leaves the truck]

Marv And it's fish.

[follows Harry]

Harry Yep, one quick score. We get ourselves a couple of phony passports and we hightail it to some foreign country.

Marv Arizona?

[shoves tape-covered hand into a donation kettle to steal some coins]

Harry That's very smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santy Claus?

Marv Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nickname. We're the Sticky Bandits!

Harry Real cute. Very cute.

[sarcastically]

Marv Huh?

Betsy's Wedding

Unexpected Encounter at the Wedding Tent

Oscar Henner You pushed me through the tent? Through the tent you pushed me?

Casino

Planning for Problems in the Desert

Nicky Santoro Got a lot of holes in the desert. And a lot of problems are buried in those holes. Except you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half hour or 45 minutes of digging. And who knows who's gonna be coming along in that time? Before you know it, you gotta dig a few more holes; you could be there all fucking night!

Casino

Power and Dependency in the Underworld

Nicky Santoro Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you! You only exist out here because of ME! That's the only reason! Without me, you, personally - every fucking wiseguy skell around will take a piece of your fucking Jew ass! THEN where you gonna go?! You're fucking warned! Don't ever go over my fucking head again, you motherfucker, you!

[Chewing out Sam in the Nevada desert]

Casino

Nicky Santoro's Frustration with Agents

Nicky Santoro What the fuck is this? Where's this fucking guy gonna land, in the fairway? They're fucking agents, Frankie, look at this! $100 for whoever hits the plane.

[Watching the FBI plane overhead while golfing]

Casino

Threats and Intimidation in a High-Stakes Situation

Nicky Santoro Listen to me, Anthony. I got your head in a fucking vice. I'll squash your fucking head like a grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Don't make me have to do this, please. Don't make me be a bad guy, come on.

Memorable Quotes from Joe Pesci