John Wayne Quotes

Ethan Edwards Well, Reverend, that tears it! From now on, you stay out of this. All of ya. I don't want you with me. I don't need ya for what I got to do.

Dutton Peabody No! No! No you don't! No! I... I'm a newspaperman, not a politician! No, politicians are my meat - I build em up and I tear em down but I wouldn't be one I couldn't be one - it'd destroy me - gimme a...

Tom Doniphon Bar's closed.

Dutton Peabody Good people of Shinbone, I... I... I'm your conscience - I'm the still, small voice that thunders in the night. I'm your watchdog that howls against the wolves! I'm - I'm your father confessor! I... I... I'm... what else am I?

Tom Doniphon Town drunk?

Tom Doniphon I know those law books mean a lot to you, but not out here. Out here a man settles his own problems.

Pinky Farrell Santigo arranged the heist and he came up a loser. Insiders pulled this job.

Pinky Farrell Wally Johnson worked the morning watch alone, it was have been easy for him to slip out the dope and slip in the sugar. His murder, Hyatt's and Stan's all connect.

McQ And no militants mixed up in it.

Pinky Farrell Yeah. Yeah and that makes you wonder, doesn't it, why Kosterman is so eager to stick them.

Col. Davy Crockett Travis says Fannin's coming.

Jim Bowie Travis says! I wouldn't take Travis word that night's dark and day's light!

Tom Doniphon Whoa, take'er easy there, Pilgrim.

George Washington McLintock Now, we'll all calm down!

Drago Boss, he's just a little excited.

George Washington McLintock I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't!

Ethan Edwards Well, Reverend, looks like you've got yourself surrounded.

Reverend Clayton Yeah, and I figure on getting myself unsurrounded.

The Ringo Kid Well, there are some things a man just can't run away from.

Tom Doniphon Liberty Valance's the toughest man south of the Picketwire - next to me.

Jack You're not going to take it, are you?

McQ Just say it's a loan.

Jack Lon, it's not licensed!

McQ Jack, neither am I.

The Ringo Kid Well, I guess you can't break out of prison and into society in the same week.

George Washington McLintock Cuthbert H. Humphrey, Governor of our territory, is a cull. Do you know what a cull is, ma'am? A cull is a specimen that is so worthless that you have to cut him out of the herd. Now if all the people in the world were put in one herd, Cuthbert is the one I would throw a rope at.

Tom Doniphon Pompey, go find Doc Willoughby. If he's sober, bring him back.

Drago Boss, what's "reactionary" mean?

George Washington McLintock I guess he says that anyone who sells at a profit is a reactionary

George Washington McLintock I saw your picture in the paper at the Governor's Ball. You were dancing with the governor.

Katherine McClintock At least he's a gentleman.

George Washington McLintock I doubt that. You have to be a man first before you're a gentleman. He misses on both counts.

Drago I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people...

Katherine McLintock Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife?

George Washington McLintock He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!

George Washington McLintock Well you old Cantonese reprobate, how bout it?

Ching Ya fire me? I kill myself!

George Washington McLintock I'm not talkin about firing you I'm RETIRING you! You've been rustlin food for us for forty years! We're gonna put you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give advice, be one of the family!

Ching I kill myself!

George Washington McLintock I may save you the trouble.

Drago Hey Ching, you kill yourself, I'll cut of your pigtail and y'ain't never gonna get to Heaven!

Ching I'll be one of the family?

George Washington McLintock I give you my solemn word.

Ching Pretty crummy family! Drinkee too muchee! Get in fight! Yell alla time!

George Washington McLintock Cut off his pigtail!

Ching ALRIGHT, I BE ONE OF THE FAMILY!

George Washington McLintock This is probably the first marriage I've ever seen that started out with a spanking!

George Washington McLintock Don't tell me it's a fine morning, or I'll shoot ya!

Tom Doniphon Well, now; I wonder what scared em off?

Dutton Peabody You know what scared em - the spectacle of law and order here, risin up out of the gravy and the mashed potatoes.

Captain Kosterman Now what the hell was that? Just what the hell was it? You hotdogging around like that.

McQ I wasn't sure of my information, by the time...

Captain Kosterman You didn't have to be sure! Your responsibility is to let us know!

McQ My responsibility is to my client. Nothing in the law says I have to tell you anything.

Ethan Edwards I figure a man's only good for one oath at a time. I gave mine to the Confederate States of America.

George Washington McLintock I came close to killing you a couple of times when I was younger. Saddens me I didn't.

Devlin I am just a hired hand around here

George Washington McLintock Every so often Dev, you spell the strangest ideas. Everybody works for somebody. I work for everybody in these United States that steps into a butcher shop for a T-Bone steak and you work for me, it is not much difference

Farmer The government gave us each one hundred and sixty acres.

George Washington McLintock The government never gave anybody anything. You make these homesteads go, you'll have earned every acre of it. You just can't make em go on the Mesa Verde! God made that land fer buffalo. Serves pretty well for cattle. But it hates the plow! And even the government should know that you can't farm six thousand feet above sea level.

Tom Doniphon Ransom Stoddard, At... torney at Law You're a persistent cuss, pilgrim. You really aim to hang that up outside somewhere?

Ransom Stoddard That's why I painted it.

Tom Doniphon Well, take some advice, pilgrim. You put that thing up, you'll have to defend it with a gun... and you ain't exactly the type.

Ethan Edwards Let's go home, Debbie.

Tom Doniphon That's my steak, Valance.

Liberty Valance You heard him, Dude. Pick it up.

Ransom Stoddard No!

Tom Doniphon Pilgrim, hold it. I said you, Valance; you pick it up.

Liberty Valance Three against one, Doniphon.

Tom Doniphon My boy, Pompey; kitchen door.

Floyd I'll get it, Liberty!

Tom Doniphon You talk too much, think too much. Besides, YOU didn't kill Liberty Valance.

George Washington McLintock I've got a touch of hangover, bureaucrat. Don't push me.

Tom Doniphon Well, Pompey, looks like we got ourselves a ladies man!

Drago That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you paya woman not to live with ya?

George Washington McLintock That's about it.

Drago Some women I know'd be worth it.

George Washington McLintock Becky! Come here. Somethin I ought to tell you. Guess now's as good a time as any. You're going to have every young buck west of the Missouri around here tryin to marry you - mostly because you're a handsome filly, but partly because I own everything in this country from here to there. They'll think you're going to inherit it. Well, you're not. I'm going to leave most of it to, well, to the nation really, for a park where no lumbermen'll cut down all the trees for houses with leaky roofs. Nobody'll kill all the beaver for hats for dudes nor murder the buffalo for robes. What I'm going to give you is a 500 cow spread on the Upper Green River. Now that may not seem like much, but it's more than we had, your mother and I. Some folks are gonna say I'm doin all this so I can sit up in the hereafter and look down on a park named after me, or that I was disappointed in you - didn't want you to get all that money. But the real reason, Becky, is because I love you, and I want you and some young man to have what I had, because all the gold in the United States Treasury and all the harp music in heaven can't equal what happens between a man and a woman with all that growin together. I can't explain it any better than that.

Ethan Edwards That'll be the day !

Liberty Valance You lookin for trouble, Doniphon?

Tom Doniphon You aim to help me find some?

Dutton Peabody I'll have the usual, Jack.

Jack, Barman The bar is closed, Mister Editor, during voting.

Dutton Peabody Bar's closed?

Tom Doniphon You can blame your lawyer friend. He says that's one of the "Fundamental laws of democracy." No exception.

Dutton Peabody No exceptions for the working press? Why, that's carrying democracy much too far!

Captain Kosterman Lon, I know you. I'm not gonna stand for you making up your own rules. (showing clear disgust) You're not gonna play that Micky Peters thing all over again.

McQ Peters was a hood and everyone knew it!

Captain Kosterman (noticeably exasperated) Yeah and you weren't satisfied to throw him up on the roof, you had to go up there and throw him back down! Six months in the hospital, four lawyers screaming about his civil rights!

McQ Well it kept him off the street, didn't it?

Captain Kosterman Yeah, and that's why I'm behind a desk and you're taking orders from me, now cool it.

George Washington McLintock If these settlers get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollerin that this country is too wild to be a state. We'll go on bein a territory some more, with a lot of political appointees runnin it according to what they learned in some college where they think cows are somethin you milk and Indians are somethin in front of a cigar store.

Becky McLintock You are my father and if you do love me you will shoot him!

George Washington McLintock I'm your father and I sure love you.

Becky McLintock You shot him! You really shot him! If he dies...

George Washington McLintock If he dies he will be the first man killed with a blank cartridge . We use this to start the races on the fourth.

Becky McLintock You poor dear.

Devlin Warren Poor dear? You would've had me shot down in cold blood! Yelling I insulted you an all. What you need is a good spanking.

Becky McLintock Daddy?

George Washington McLintock Leave me out of this.

Devlin Warren And I think I'll give you what you deserve.

Becky McLintock You wouldn dare!

McQ Rosey, if this is a shine, I'm coming back and iron your face.

Ethan Edwards Our turnin back don't mean nothin', not in the long run. She's alive, she's safe for a while. They'll keep her and raise her as one of their own til, until she's of an age to... Injun will chase a thing till he thinks he's chased it enough. Then, he quits. Same way when he runs. Seems like he never learns there's such a thing as a critter that'll just keep comin on. So we'll find em in the end, I promise you. We'll find em. Just as sure as a turnin of the earth.

Tom Doniphon It ain’t mannerly, out West, let a fella drink by himself.

Katherine McClintock What's going on here?

George Washington McLintock Now Katherine, are you going to believe what you see, or what I tell you?