Kirstie Alley Quotes

Mollie Here we go, What's that?

Mikey A Penis.

Mollie This one?.

Mikey No penis.

Mollie That's good, he understands, What's this?

Mikey Hmm, tough call.

Joan Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?

Harry Block No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.

Joan You're an atheist, Harry!

Harry Block Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?

Albert Beth has finally agreed to a divorce. Oh Mollie, I am so glad you waited.

Mollie I knew if I was patient, this day would come.

Rona It says here that at the fourth month of pregnancy the baby's sexual organs become visible so depending on the gender it can identify the vulva or penis.

Mikey Hey, what is that that just came out? Is that like my hands? If so I wonder if that could go in my mouth?

James I will contact your husband for you.

Molly I do not have a husband. I was artificially inseminated.

James Are you a lesbo?

Gladys Leeman Hello Father Donnagan, sidewalks? sidewalks? Iris, stop it, it's not his fault. The communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them.

Mollie (After Mikey gets born, she sees married men looking at the baby ward congratulating their wives and passing out cigars celebrating their newborns) Look at all those daddies down there. They are making goofball faces and taking pictures. Well, you will not find your father here. I really messed things up for you. I do not want you to be upset, because I am going to go out there and find you a daddy, and this time I am going to be smart about it. I am not going to go for some handsome guy just because I am in love with him. You are the only thing that matters to me, and I am going to go out there and I am going to get you the best daddy there is.

Gladys Leeman Oh my God! My baby. That swan ate my baby. Baby, please, get out, we gotta go to State!

Mollie Ubriacco When he gets nervous, he gets completely honest. That is a major business liability.