Kristen Bell Quotes

Bad Moms

Support Among Friends in Parenting Struggles

Amy All the moms in school hate me, and I am a complete and utter failure as a mother.

Carla First of all, you're so not a failure as a mother. In fact, you're the best mother that we've ever seen.

Kiki True that!

Carla You give your kids salad. Your remember your kids birthdays! I mean, I've sat here and watched you wait until your kid fell asleep before you got high.

Amy Most moms do that, Carla.

Carla That's most moms, yeah. Well, whatever. This is the worst thing I've ever seen you do. You've quit trying. We don't quit! Moms don't quit!

Kiki No! Quitting is for dads!

Carla Listen, no matter what shit is thrown at us, us moms, we have to just... We have to just keep going. Mmm-hmm. And do you know why?

Kiki Because we have low self-esteem.

Carla No. No, no. It's because we love our kids. It's because we love our stupid, selfish, ungrateful, little shit-faces! That's why. We love em so much that we would do... Literally anything for them.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Burlesque

Confrontation Over Personal Insults Among Performers

Nikki What the hell is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch out.

Sean And what did she ever do to you?

Nikki She said I looked like a drag queen!

Sean Well, that can't be the first time that's happened before.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Bad Moms Christmas

A Heartfelt Discussion on Cancer

Sandy I have cancer.

Kiki Cancer? Oh god, what kind of cancer?

[Sandy nods]

Sandy Heart. Cancer.

Kiki Heart cancer?

Sandy Yeah. Stage twelve. Maybe you can find it in your non-cancerous heart to be nice to me before I die.

Kiki I'm so sorry mom, I had... I had no idea.

Sandy I know. I know.

Kiki Mom...

Sandy Aw Kiks... Oh Kiki. No, no. Kiks? Okay I don't have cancer.

[comforting Kiki]

Kiki What?

Therapist I knew it.

Sandy But imagine if I did have cancer, how would you feel being so mean to your mother?

Kiki I'm not trying to be mean to you, mom, I'm trying to have an honest conversation about our relationship!

Sandy I have cancer again.

Kiki No, it doesn't work like that!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spartan

Trust and Betrayal in Uncertain Circumstances

Laura Newton Did my father send you?

Scott That's right.

Laura Newton Why? Why? He wants me dead.

Scott He sent me.

Laura Newton One man.

Scott One riot, one Ranger." You ever heard that?

Laura Newton ], King of Sparta... when a neighboring state would plead for military aid, would send one man.

[[Leonidas I|Leonidas]

Scott Well, there you go.

Laura Newton You ever hear that?

Scott No. I think we went to different schools.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Spartan

Gratitude in Uncertain Circumstances

Laura Newton Thank you.

Scott For what?

Laura Newton For coming for me.

Scott Ah, what the hell.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Boss

Bathroom Time Management Conflict

Claire Knocking on the bathroom door, while Michelle is in the bathroom] Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school.

Michelle Darnell Well, I'm going as fast as I can. You're welcome to come in.

[inside the bathroom]

Claire Fine, but we gotta get on the schedule if you're gonna be here. Oh, my God! Close your robe!

[opens the door to find Michelle applying self-tanning spray]

Michelle Darnell No, absolutely not! I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet.

Claire I can see your vagina.

Michelle Darnell Well, congratulations and you're welcome. You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. They called it a vaguvenation. You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse. I can barely urinate.

[whispers]

Claire Oh, my God.

[still in shock]

Michelle Darnell Now, do me a favor and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings.

[turns around, bends over and lifts up her robe as Rachel comes into the bathroom]

Claire Oh, my God! Put it away!

Michelle Darnell Huh?!

Rachel Whoa!

[shows up]

Michelle Darnell Hi, Racquel.

[turns around]

Rachel It's Rachel!

[correcting herself]

Claire Go grab your backpack, honey. We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine. You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know, it dries darker.

[Rachel leaves the room, as Michelle goes back to spraying her leg with self-tanning spray]

Michelle Darnell No. Does it?

[grabs the bottle]

Claire Yes.

Michelle Darnell That's not what the bottle says. Oh. Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel.

[wipes her face with a bath towel]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Burlesque

A Flirty Exchange About Beauty

Nikki Didn't your mama ever tell you it's not polite to stare?

[annoyed]

Ali You-You're just so damn beautiful, I...

Nikki Well in that case, screw your mama and stare away.

Ali No one would ever know.

Nikki Know what?

Ali That you're a dude.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bad Moms

Marriage Struggles and Different Perspectives on Intimacy

Amy I caught Mike having an affair online with a woman, and I guess it's been going on for like 10 months.

Carla Oh! Did you drive a spike through his nuts?

Amy No. Here's the truth. Our marriage has been over for years. I don't even remember the last time we had sex.

[laughs]

Kiki Kent and I have sex every Friday night after Blue Bloods.

Kiki I find ]'s work to be extremely erotic.

[[w:Tom Selleck|Tom Selleck]

Carla I feel like everything that comes out of your mouth is a cry for help.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bad Moms

Frustration with Modern Parenting Rules

Amy Do you know what I hate?

Carla Mmm?

Amy There are so many fuckin rules now.

Kiki Yes, God.

Amy Don't punish your kids.

Kiki Don't say no to your kids.

Carla Yeah. "Go to your kid's baseball games." "Tell your kids you love em." "Don't fuck the janitor at your kid's school." I mean, what the fuck is this? Russia?

Amy We're killing ourselves, trying to be perfect, and it's making us insane. In this day and age, it's impossible to be a good mom. Screw it.

Carla Yeah.

Amy Let's be bad moms.

Carla Oh, I'm in.

Amy Right?

Kiki Oh, my gosh, okay. This is exciting. I'm in!

Amy Yes! To bad moms. Whoo!

Carla To bad moms!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

A Difficult Conversation About Love and Breakup

Sarah Marshall Peter... as you know, I love you very much...

Peter Bretter Are you breaking up with me?

[horrified; drops his towel and covers his face]

Sarah Marshall Pete? Are you, um...?

Peter Bretter I just need a minute.

[turns away, then hunches over and starts whimpering to himself]

Sarah Marshall Okay?

Sarah Marshall Do you want to put some clothes on?!

Peter Bretter Would you like to pick out the outfit you break up with me in?!

[sarcastically]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Confrontation Over Relationship Choices

Aldous Snow Yeah, alright, that's enough!

Sarah Marshall What?

Aldous Snow I made a mistake, coming here with you. You're still involved with im next door, in't ya?

Sarah Marshall Excuse me?

Aldous Snow You should have seen yourself at dinner, Sarah. Then, we come back here, and you put on that... ghastly performance. I mean, I've heard that women fake orgasms, but I've never actually seen one. It really, deeply upset me.

Sarah Marshall You should have seen yourself at dinner! Oh, I'm Aldous Snow... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. No, no drinks for me thanks... bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

[mocking Aldous's accent]

Aldous Snow That's a really reductive impression. If I wanted to see you act badly, I'd just watch your TV show. Which, obviously, I can't now, cause it's canceled.

Sarah Marshall Oh my God, you're such a prick! And, you know what?! Lemme tell you something about these tattoos, okay?! That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, that's just gibberish. They are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the world, it makes you full of shit!

Aldous Snow Was that genuine, or did you fake that as well? Right, I'm gonna probably clear off, now. I'll have a little sleep for a couple of hours, but then, uh, I'm gonna probably go in the morning, okay?

Sarah Marshall I hate your music.

[long pause]

Aldous Snow Yeah, well I fucked the housekeeper the other day.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bad Moms

A Bold PTA Presidential Speech

Amy Hi, um, my name is Amy Mitchell and I am running for PTA President.

Gwendolyn Keep going. You’re doing great.

Amy I know after the other day a lot of you think I’m a pretty bad mom...And you know what? You’re right.

Kiki Why did we make her do this?!

Carla I don’t know I think we made a huge mistake!

Amy Sometimes I’m too strict with my kids, sometimes I’m too nice, and sometimes I’m just a crazy bitch who doesn’t make any sense...What works on my daughter almost never works on my son, and whenever I think I might actually be figuring my kids out, they grow older and I’m back to square one. The truth is, when it comes to being a mom...I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. But you know what? I don’t think anyone does.

Amy I think we’re all bad moms. And you know why? Because being a mom today is fucking impossible.

Amy So can we all just stop pretending like we’ve got it all figured out and maybe stop judging each other all the time?

Kiki She’s doing great!

Carla I know I never doubted her.

Amy I’m running for PTA president because I want our school to be a place where you don’t have to be perfect. A place where you can be yourself and make mistakes and where you’re judged by how hard you’re trying not by what you bring to the fucking bake sale. I want our school to be a place where it’s okay to be a bad mom.

Woman #1 My kids haven’t had a bath in three weeks!

Amy Yes! We all do that sometimes.

Woman #2 I confiscated my son's weed and then I smoked the shit out of it!

Carla What's your number?

Woman #3 I give my kids a Benadryl every Tuesday night so I can watch The Voice.

Woman #4 I can't tell my twins apart!

Woman #5 I let my 7-year-old watch Mad Max.

Woman #6 I drink margaritas for breakfast.

Woman #7 I threw my son's violin in the garbage.

Carla Oh, honey, we don't speak Spanish.

Woman #9 I like my nanny better than I like my husband.

Carla Wait, really? Yeah, you do!

Woman #10 I don't even have kids! I just come to PTA meetings because I'm lonely.

Kiki Aw.

Amy Here's the thing. If you're a perfect mom who's got this whole parenting thing figured out, well, then, you should probably vote for Gwendolyn, cause she's amazing. Yes. But if you're a bad mom like me and you have no fucking clue what you're doing, or you're just sick of being judged all the time... Then please vote for me. Thank you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Debating Relationships and Personal Liberties

Sarah Marshall So... just so we're clear, and so that I can kinda hone in on your, your central thesis of the night, wade through all the bullshit, you're telling me you think you have the right to just fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime? That's what you're saying?

[after she, Peter and Rachel have each had a lot of wine]

Aldous Snow Yes! That's right, there it is! Not so eloquently as you just put it, sweetheart, but... Ultimately, that is... Oh, no! Not the shirt! Take my eyes, but not the shirt! Mmm, yeah, that's pretty much what I believe, Sarah.

[spills his cranberry juice over the Tommy Bahama shirt Sarah bought him, and doesn't notice; notices the spill and laughs; laughing]

Sarah Marshall When you're done making jokes, are you gonna get a napkin?!

Aldous Snow D'you know what, I think I've improved it, actually! Against all odds, I think I deserve a design award!

Sarah Marshall Just please get some seltzer water.

[quietly and angrily]

Aldous Snow Um, garcon, could we get some...

[Matthew rushes over and tries vigorously to clean off Aldous' shirt, while Aldous tries to fend him off; Rachel laughs]

Matthew Van Der Wyk I saw it from farther away. Okay, just lean back for a sec. Let me...

Aldous No, it's all right, it's not there. You're very diligent, and I appreciate it, but, let go of the glass now, you're gonna have to walk away, bless you.

[Matthew reluctantly backs off as a waitress brings dessert]

Peter Brenner Oh me, oh my, call the doctor.

[in mock reaction to the dessert]

Rachel Jansen Oh, good!

[they both laugh; Rachel feeds Peter some of her dessert.]

Peter Bretter I love Hawaii.

Rachel Jansen It's good, huh?

[laughs]

Sarah Marshall Yeah, it's nice, but I think, for like a week, tops. Any more than that, and I know I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is a place to escape for people who can't deal with the real world.

Rachel Jansen Yeah, you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists. Gosh, it's such a hard life. I like living here.

[she feeds Peter another bite of dessert, then grabs his face and kisses him.]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bad Moms

Awkward Conversations About Intimacy

Kiki Kent is a never-hard.

Amy Ooh, what's a never-hard?

Kiki Well, he never gets fully hard. So I just have to kinda fold his penis up like a balloon animal and shove it up in my vagina.

Carla That sounds horrible!

Amy Yeah...

Kiki Sometimes, I take the balls and shove em up there too because at least, you know, they're firm.

Carla Honey, that is a lot of shit to shove up your cooter.

Kiki I mean, I'm just happy he's circumcised.

Amy Agh! What if I get somebody who's not circumcised?

Kiki Run out of the room screaming. It's like finding a gun in the street; just scream and get out of there! It's like finding a gun in the street. Just scream and get outta there!

Carla No way, you guys. Uncut guys are great.

Amy Really?

Carla Oh, they're always so nice to you, because they know their dicks are gross.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Confrontation Over Heartbreak and Responsibility

Sarah Marshall What's wrong with you?

[As she is giving Peter oral sex, Peter feels guilty about Rachel]

Peter Bretter Nothing is wrong with me, okay? I just don't feel right.

Sarah Marshall Okay, okay! I didn't mean... well, you know what? Did you drink today? Because, sometimes when you drink...

Peter Bretter Excuse me. No, I haven't had anything to drink today. Maybe the problem is that you broke my heart into a million pieces and so, my cock doesn't want to be around you anymore, Okay?! EVER! Cause you know what I just realized, huh? You're the goddamn Devil! Oh, yeah, wedding in Hawaii. Real original!

[walks past a wedding service on the lawn]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Unexpected Hotel Check-In Request

Rachel Jansen Welcome to Turtle Bay. What can I do for you?

Peter Bretter I'm checking in. My name's Bretter. Peter Bretter. But actually, I don't have a reservation. Just thought I'd... take my chances.

[smiles weakly]

Rachel Jansen Oh! Wow. Bold! We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.

[she looks through the registrar]

Peter Bretter Um, okay. How much is that?

Rachel Jansen $6,000 a night.

Peter Bretter Wow.

Rachel Jansen Beautiful views.

Peter Bretter I can imagine... that's a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. That's a shame. This is such a beautiful... ( hotel.

[he looks around; he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by]

Rachel Jansen Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. People are excited that she's here.

[laughs]

Peter Bretter She's my ex-girlfriend. We broke up three weeks ago.

Rachel Jansen Oh. I'm sorry, sir.

Peter Bretter Okay, like, this is fine, right?

Rachel Jansen Sir?

Peter Bretter It's totally fine. Okay, there she is. Did she see me?

[looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby]

Rachel Jansen Uh-huh.

Peter Bretter Is she coming over here?

Rachel Jansen Yup.

Peter Bretter I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.

Rachel Jansen Fair enough. Why don't you try unbuttoning it? Button it back up.

[Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval]

Sarah Marshall Peter?

Peter Bretter Hey. Hi.

Sarah Marshall What are you doing here?

Peter Bretter I came here to murder you.

[chuckles hysterically]

Sarah Really, what are you doing here?

Peter Brenner I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A. Uh, but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think that's too crazy to...

Aldous Snow Hey there, little sex object! I've lost a shoe Have you seen it anywhere? It's like this one, but obviously it's, um opposite of um, excuse me, Misses? I've lost a shoe. It's like this one. It's like, this one's fellow. Sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact.

[enters the lobby; slaps Sarah's rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard; holds up a black flip-flop; to Rachel]

Rachel Jansen Uh-huh?

Aldous Snow Not like, an evil version, but just, you know, a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise I'd have to...

Sarah Marshall Aldous, this is Peter.

Aldous Snow Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. Aldous. Good to meet you, man.

[shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him]

Sarah Marshall My ex-boyfriend.

Aldous Snow Oh, right! Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.

Peter Bretter I know who you are. Yeah, you're very, very famous.

Aldous Snow Yeah, I am, I am... for my sins. So, are you, um, staying here as well?

Peter Bretter I'm not, as a matter...

Rachel Jansen I'm sorry. Excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall. But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.

[to Peter]

Peter Bretter You were?

Rachel Jansen Yes, sir.

[smiles and nods]

Peter Bretter Marvelous!

Aldous Snow Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, you're very...

Sarah Marshall Aldous!

Peter Bretter No. No, that's very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, I'll be just fine on my own in my Kapua Suite.

Aldous Snow Alright, Peter.

Sarah Marshall Have a good trip, Pete.

Aldous Snow I like your shirt. It's colorful. Bye, ta-ta! I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasn't I?

[he and Sarah walk away; to Sarah]

Peter Bretter Bye, now. Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still can't afford that room.

[to Rachel]

Rachel Jansen Nobody can. It's for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, it's not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since you're not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay!

[hands him a key]

Peter Bretter Why are you doing this for me?

Rachel Jansen She's here with some guy already? Kind of messed up.

Peter Bretter Yeah, right?! Thank you.

Rachel Jansen Really, it's not a big deal. Go, go enjoy yourself!

Peter Bretter Rachel...

[tries to read her nametag]

Rachel Jansen Jansen.

Peter Bretter Jansen. I mean, a thousand times, thank you! You know what I mean? I...

Rachel Jansen Go. Go enjoy yourself!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Growing Apart in a Relationship

Sarah Marshall I feel... I've been feeling... that, for a long time, we've been growing apart. We're leading different lives.

Peter Bretter Who's the dude? Who's the dude?

[stands up]

Sarah Marshall What?! No, that's not what this is about! There's no one else.

[stands up]

Peter Bretter I know what's happening here. I really do. You've been working so much lately, that we haven't got to spend much time together and you're forgetting what it's like to be with me. But maybe if we just held each other or something, you would remember what it's like to be with me.

Sarah Marshall No.

Peter Bretter Please hold me. Please.

[Sarah hesitates; he comes over to her and hugs her, still naked. Sarah hugs him back reluctantly]

Sarah Marshall There's someone else. I'm sorry.

[Peter pulls away from her and looks at her in shock; she walks out in tears]

The Boss

Taking Initiative in the Workplace

Claire : Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, I can't continue to work here.

Michelle Darnell Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. About time, Claire, I love it. I didn't know you were listening all these years. What am I always saying?

Tito Don't go in that room!

Michelle Darnell True. I do say that, but I also say, you want something, you gotta take it. Claire, you just took it and you grew a pair in the process.

Claire I'm holding your earrings?

Michelle Darnell You're holding a pair of earrings, as in 2001, I paid $ 62,000 for it, and that's your raise now, it's a good raise and you earned it.

Claire Thank you.

Tito Congratulations on your balls, Claire!

Burlesque

Defiance Against Competition in Performance

Nikki I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs.

Spartan

Struggles of Home and Identity

Laura Newton Fuck it. I don't want to go home. Nobody there cares about me. I'm just a whore. I'm just a little whore.

Scott Yeah, how'd you get like that?

Laura Newton I was raised by wolves. I don't wanna go home.

Scott Look, you go home some wave their hats, some turn their backs. It's all the same. None of them know where you've been.

Bad Moms

Motherly Fury and the Fight for Justice

Carla This is about standing up to the bitch that hurt your little girl! Now, are you gonna sit here and let Gwendolyn get away with this shit?

Kiki Don't do it, Amy.

Carla Fuck that! Fuck it! You are gonna rise up like a small, little white Apollo Creed and you are gonna look at Gwendolyn and you are gonna say, "You can do what you want to me, I don't care, throw it at me, but you fucked with my daughter, and now I have to fight you. I will fight you in the playground. I will fight you in the cafeteria. I will even fight you in the parking lot of Trader Joe's. But I will have justice for my little girl, because I am a fucking mom. And we protect our young." So get up off this couch, turn off ], and let's bodyslam this bitch.

[[12 Years a Slave (film)|12 Years a Slave]

Kiki Come on, Amy.

Carla Come on. Get those tits up.

Kiki Get em up.

Carla Get em up.

Kiki Get your boobs up.

Carla Get those tits right up.

Bad Moms

The Misunderstanding of a Bra's Purpose

Carla Holy fuck! Look at your mom bra!

Kiki Ooh.

Carla There's so much surface area. You can make three regular bras out of this one mom bra.

Amy This isn't my mom bra. This is my sexy bra.

Carla Shut up!

[laughs]

Amy Don't laugh.

Carla Wait, are you serious?

Amy Yes!

Carla Oh, honey. Amy. Oh! That looks like you just got out of surgery.

Amy Is it that bad?

Carla Yeah, there's just one boob-log.

Kiki Yeah.

Carla You don't even have two tits.

Amy I have this in black. Do you guys wanna see it in black?

Carla No!

Kiki No!

Amy Oh, wow.

Kiki This bra will be the death of your vagina.

Bad Moms

Unexpected Guest at the Raging Party

Amy This party is raging.

Kiki What a turnout.

Martha Stewart Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?

Amy Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.

Kiki Thank you. Oh, my God.

Martha Stewart Good, right?

Carla I'm cumming.

Kiki Oh, my God. What's in this?

Martha Stewart Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.

Kiki They're delicious!

Martha Stewart I start my day with six of these.

Bad Moms

A Fantastical Escape from Daily Life

Kiki Sometimes when I'm driving all by myself, I have this fantasy that I get into a car crash. Not a big one with fire and explosions, but just like a little one, but I do get injured and I get to go to the hospital for two weeks and I sleep all day and I eat Jell-O and I watch so much TV and it's all covered by my insurance. My kids bring me balloons, and the nurses rub cream on my feet, and oh, my God, it's so amazing. Is that like something you guys fantasize about, too?

Carla, Amy No.

Carla You're batshit crazy.

Amy Yeah.

Carla And I'm never gonna get into a car with you.

Memorable Quotes from Kristen Bell