Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask - Absurdities in a Courtroom Setting
Gina: [in Italian]
Fabrizio, my darling, go easy on my hymen.
Sperm #1:
I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling.
Divorce Court Judge:
The defendant did commit an adulterous act with a sheep - most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.
The Queen:
Didst I feel aright or didst I feel that thy two hands did upon my royal body cop a feel?
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Bananas - Questioning Maturity in Relationships
Nancy:
You're immature, Fielding.
Fielding Mellish: [whining]
How am I immature?
Nancy:
Well, emotionally, sexually, and intellectually.
Fielding Mellish:
Yeah, but what other ways?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bananas - Confusion About Locations in Conversation
Nancy:
Have you ever been to Denmark?
Fielding Mellish: [[w:Vatican City|the Vatican]
I've been, yes... to ].
Nancy:
The Vatican? The Vatican is in Rome.
Fielding Mellish:
Well, they were doing so well in Rome that they opened one in Denmark.
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Bananas - Discussion on Eastern Philosophy and Metaphysics
Fielding Mellish:
I love Eastern philosophy. It's... it's metaphysical, and redundant. Abortively pedantic.
Nancy:
I know just what you mean! ]
Fielding Mellish: [[Søren Kierkegaard|Kierkegaard]
I've read ].
Nancy:
Oh, well, he's Danish.
Fielding Mellish:
Yes... he would be the first to admit it.
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Happiness - Baggies and Shared Experiences in Crime
Helen Jordan:
Anyway, so the police came and looked in her freezer and found baggies filled with the doorman's genitals.
Mona Jordan:
I use baggies.
Joy Jordan:
Me too.
Helen Jordan:
Everyone uses baggies, that's why we can all relate to this crime. Don't you see?
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