Memorable Quotes from Louise Lasser
5 quotesAbsurdities in a Courtroom Setting
Gina
Fabrizio, my darling, go easy on my hymen.
[in Italian]
Sperm #1
I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling.
Divorce Court Judge
The defendant did commit an adulterous act with a sheep - most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.
The Queen
Didst I feel aright or didst I feel that thy two hands did upon my royal body cop a feel?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Maturity in Relationships
Nancy
You're immature, Fielding.
Fielding Mellish
How am I immature?
[whining]
Nancy
Well, emotionally, sexually, and intellectually.
Fielding Mellish
Yeah, but what other ways?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Baggies and Shared Experiences in Crime
Helen Jordan
Anyway, so the police came and looked in her freezer and found baggies filled with the doorman's genitals.
Mona Jordan
I use baggies.
Joy Jordan
Me too.
Helen Jordan
Everyone uses baggies, that's why we can all relate to this crime. Don't you see?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Eastern Philosophy and Metaphysics
Fielding Mellish
I love Eastern philosophy. It's... it's metaphysical, and redundant. Abortively pedantic.
Nancy
I know just what you mean! ]
Fielding Mellish
I've read ].
[[Søren Kierkegaard|Kierkegaard]
Nancy
Oh, well, he's Danish.
Fielding Mellish
Yes... he would be the first to admit it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Locations in Conversation
Nancy
Have you ever been to Denmark?
Fielding Mellish
I've been, yes... to ].
[[w:Vatican City|the Vatican]
Nancy
The Vatican? The Vatican is in Rome.
Fielding Mellish
Well, they were doing so well in Rome that they opened one in Denmark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.