Memorable Quotes from Macaulay Culkin
64 quotesFamily Dynamics in a Crisis Situation
Kevin
I made my family disappear!
[has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
Megan
Kevin, you're completely helpless.
Linnie
You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.
Buzz
Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff
Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate
There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank
Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kevin
I made my family disappear.
[smiles, to himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning fairness in a serious situation
Henry Evans
No fair? What do you think this is, a game?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Challenge Accepted: A Playful Bet
Richie Rich
Come on. Let me hit.
Gloria
Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL!
Richie
I could hit it off of YOU.
Gloria
All right, you think you're so hot? Put your ] where your mouth is!
[''insulted''; [money]
Richie
You mean bet?
Tony
Yeah, $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
Gloria
$5? How about $10?
Richie
Okay, seems a little steep, but $10,000 it is.
Gloria
No, not $10,000. $10.
Richie
Oh, $10, okay.
Herbert Cadbury
Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these - children's money.
Gloria
What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?
Cadbury
Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.
[''insulted'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reactions to a Surprising Revelation
Mary
I need to tell you guys something.
Hilary Faye
Eew.
Veronica
Eew.
Roland
WHAT? Wasn't like it was some kind of secret. The guy was like a one-man gay pride parade.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Chaotic Escape from Fictional Dangers
Horror
So, do I think I'm scaring it? He shouldn't swim right after eating you know, he'll get cramps.
Adventure
Where did he go?
Richard Tyler
Aah!
Adventure
Row! Row for your lives!
Richard Tyler
AAH!!!!
[sees Moby Dick]
Adventure
Abandon Ship-!
Richard Tyler, Horror, Fantasy, Adventure
Waa-hooooooh!
[bites off the boat]
Richard Tyler
AAH-!!! Guys! Where are you?!
[screams; falls down to the water and crashed; coughs in water]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Guest on the Same Floor
Cedric
You know, ] once stayed on this floor.
[[Herbert Hoover]
Kevin
The ] guy?
[[w:The Hoover Company|vacuum]
Cedric
No, the, uh, president.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appreciation of a Positive Experience
Richard Tyler
Good. That was definitely good.
[renewed catchphrase in confidence]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of a Drug Addict's Apathy
Michael Alig
Typical James, tired old drug addict. Can't even stay awake for your own movie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating with a unique birthday wish
Michael Alig
But it's my birthday and I want a bloodfeast!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Dispute Over Movie Restrictions
Kevin
Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?
Kate
Kevin, I'm on the phone. When do you come back? Not till then?
[on the phone]
Kevin
It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.
Kate
Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad. No, we're not bringing the dog, we're putting it in the kennel for the... Hey, get off! Kevin, out of the room.
[on the phone]
Kevin
Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you?
Kate
This kid.
Peter
Hey, did you pick up a voltage adapter thing, by any chance?
Kate
No, I didn't have time to do that.
Peter
Then how do I shave in France?
Kate
Grow a goatee.
Kevin
Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.
Peter
I've got something for you to do. Why don't you pick up those Micro-Machines that are in there? Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck.
Kate
He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.
Peter
Didn't we talk about that?
Kevin
Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I made ornaments out of fishhooks.
Peter
My new fishhooks?
Kevin
I can't make ornaments out of the old ones with dry worm guts stuck on them.
Kate
Peter.
Peter
Come on, Kevin. Out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Possibility of Freedom and Flight
Henry Evans
If I let you go... do you think you could fly?
[taunting Mark as he's hanging, about to fall]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Party Enthusiasm on the Go
Michael Alig
Oh please, party in the truck!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Friendship in Isolation
Richard Tyler
You guys are the only friends I've ever had.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing Family Over Adventure
Richard Tyler
Thanks, but I have already a family. I really should be getting home now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Skrink la do Language
Michael Alig
That's Skrink la do, to you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for the Missing Character
Richard Tyler
Where's Horror? Wasn't he with you?
Adventure
He was, but he...I mean, I sort of...uh..he, uh....
Fantasy
Ohh, what did you say to him now?!
[angrily]
Adventure
Well, I-I...I just...uh, I'll go find him.
Fantasy
Yeah, you better go find him. And be quick about it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kevin's Independence in New York Adventure
Kate
Where's Kevin?
Kevin
Fourteen. It's a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.
[He grabs the ticket.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encounter with Fantasy in The Pagemaster
Fantasy
What are you doing, grabbing me like that and messing up my pantyhose? Hmph! Now I gotta straight out my Little Mermaid underwear.
[to Richard, angrily]
Richard Tyler
Wh-Who are you?
[putting his glasses back on]
Fantasy
I'm Fantasy! Oh! Ahem. I'm Fantasy.
[gruff; starts over; sweet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Conflict Over Pizza Dispute
Kate
What is the matter with you?!
[to Kevin]
Kevin
He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausage and olives and onions and...
Uncle Frank
Look what you did, you little jerk!
[cutting him off]
Kate
Kevin, get upstairs right now.
Kevin
Why?
Jeff
Kevin, you're such a disease.
Kevin
Shut up!
Peter
Kevin, upstairs!
Kate
Say good night, Kevin.
Kevin
Good night, Kevin". Why do I always get treated like scum?
[sarcastically]
Kate
Oh, I am sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.
[to Pizza Boy]
Kevin
How come you didn't bring any more cheese pizzas?
Pizza Boy
Nice tip. Thanks a lot.
Kate
Thanks.
Harry
Having a reunion or something?
Kate
My husband's brother transferred to Paris last year. His kids are still there. He missed the family, so he invited us to Paris so we can be together.
Harry
You're taking a trip to Paris?
Kate
Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.
Harry
Excellent, excellent.
Kate
If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.
Harry
Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands.
Kate
There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one who has to make trouble.
[escorting Kevin to the attic after he caused trouble in the kitchen]
Kevin
I'm the only one getting dumped on.
Kate
You're the only one actin up. Now, get upstairs.
Kevin
I am upstairs, dummy. Third floor?
Kate
Go.
Kevin
It's scary up there.
Kate
Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.
Kevin
I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!
Kate
Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.
Kevin
I'm sorry.
Kate
It's too late. Get upstairs.
Kevin
Everyone in this family hates me.
Kate
Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
Kevin
I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!
Kate
Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.
Kevin
I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.
Kate
I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
[feeling hurt]
Kevin
No, I wouldn't.
Kate
Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
Kevin
I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!
[runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Father and Son Discuss Simple Pleasures
Richard Sr.
Perk up, son. It won't be long before you're having tea and crumpets with the queen!
Richie Rich
Personally, I'd settle for soda and hot dogs at Wrigley Field.
[''forces a smile'']
Richard Sr.
So would I...But don't quote me on that one.
[''chuckles'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threatening Innocence and Familial Bonds
Henry Evans
You like my sister, don't you? Such a sweet little girl...it'd be too bad if something were to happen to her... like she got hurt... you'd be sad, wouldn't you, Mark? But hey, accidents can happen...just ask my mom about Richard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with the Pagemaster
Richard Tyler
Hey! How did you get here?!
[on seeing the Pagemaster again]
Fantasy
Quit it! We're in the presence of the Pagemaster!
[through her teeth]
Richard Tyler
I know who he is. He's the one who did THIS to me! Do you have any idea what I've been through?!
Pagemaster
Tell me.
Richard Tyler
I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor! I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates! And eaten! Got that?! Eaten! By a fire-breathing dragon!
Horror
He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.
Richard Tyler
And not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!
Pagemaster
Yet you stand before me.
Richard Tyler
Well, yeah.
Pagemaster
Think, boy! What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?
Dr. Jekyll
You prevailed over evil.
[morphs into Captain Ahab]
Captain Ahab
Ah, you looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy.
[morphs into Long John Silver]
Long John Silver
Ah, you had pirate stuff, me lad! And don't no one speak any different.
Pagemaster
If I hadn't brought you here from the start, you would never have found the courage to face your own fears. And in doing so, you triumph here...and always.
[hologram morphs into the Dragon]
Richard Tyler
Hey, that's...That's me!
Pagemaster
That was you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Chase Through the Streets of New York
Marv
Over there!
Harry
I don't care if I get the electric chair, I'm killin that kid! Surrender, kid!
Marv
He vanished.
Kevin
I'm down here, you big horses ass!
Marv
Whoa!
Kevin
Nice night for a neck injury.
Marv
Suck brick, kid! No!
[?]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rats on Crack: A Distorted Perspective
Michael Alig
That's not a crack hole, that's a rat hole. Rats on crack attack!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles with Packing a Suitcase
Kevin
I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done it once in my whole life!
Jeff
Tough.
Kevin
That's what Megan said.
Megan
What did I say?
Jeff
You told Kevin "Tough".
Megan
The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
Kevin
I'm not an idiot!
Megan
Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you.
Jeff
She's right, Kev.
Kevin
Excuse me, puke-breath, I'm a lot smaller than you! I don't know how to pack a suitcase!
Linnie
Hey, I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff.
Jeff
Shut up, Linnie.
Kevin
You know what I should pack?
Jeff
Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.
Linnie
Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents".
Kevin
What?
Jeff
Bombs away!
[throws his bag down the stairs which lands at Harry's feet]
Linnie
P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.
Kevin
This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!
[jumps up and down in frustration as Harry looks up at him]
Rod
Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?
[taps on the spider's tank]
Buzz
He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits?
Rod
Some don't.
Buzz
But they got nude beaches.
Rod
Not in the winter.
Kevin
Buzz?
Buzz
Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?
Kevin
Can I sleep in your room? I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.
Buzz
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass! Check it out. Old man Marley.
Rod
Who's he?
Buzz
You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?
Rod
No.
Buzz
That's him. Back in 58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on this block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.
Rod
If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?
Buzz
Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. It'll just be a matter of time... before he does it again.
Rod
What's he doing now?
Buzz
He walks up and down the streets every night... salting the sidewalks.
Rod
Maybe he's just trying to be nice.
Buzz
No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummies.
Kevin
Mummies!
[whispering]
Buzz
Yeow! Look out!
[as Marley spots them, he quickly closes the curtains]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child in Peril in New York
Kevin
You gotta help me! There's two guys after me!
Mr. Hector
What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your... stolen credit card? Let's see what the police have to say about this.
Harry
Get up! Get up! Come on, let's go get him!
Mr. Hector
Get back here, you little thief! Stop that child!
Cedric
Grab him!
[he screams as he and Mr. Hector crash into Mrs. Stone and fall over]
Mr. Hector
You little sh...
Kevin
I've committed credit card fraud.
Mr. Hector
Get me security! We've got to stop that delinquent! Come along, Cedric!
Kevin
I've had enough of this vacation. I'm goin home.
Johnny
Hold it right there!
Mr. Hector
This is the Concierge, sir.
Johnny
I knew it was you. I could smell ya gettin off the elevator! You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Mr. Hector
Yes, sir. I was.
Johnny
You was here...and you was smoochin wit my brother.
Mr. Hector
But...I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.
Johnny
Don't gimme that. You been smoochin wit everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Bony Bob, Cliff...
Cliff
No. It's a lie!
Johnny
I could go on forever, baby!
Mr. Hector
I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.
Johnny
Alright. I believe ya. . But my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
[reveals his [[w:Thompson submachine gun|Tommy gun; Mr. Hector gives a confused look]
Mr. Hector
On your knees. I love you!
[the entire staff gets down on their knees]
Johnny
Ya gotta do better than that!
Staff
I love you!
[in unison]
Johnny
Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give ya til the count of 3 to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door! 1... 2...! 3! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! And a Happy New Year.
[Johnny opens fire wildly, cackling, as the hotel staff dive for cover; while Kevin mouths him from the emergency exit; shoots again; shoots once more]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Packing for the Trip
Kate
Honey, are you packed yet?
Kevin
Yes.
Kevin on Recorder
Yes.
Kate
Everything I put out?
Kevin
Yes.
Kevin on Recorder
Yes.
Kate
Did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip?
Kevin
Let me guess. Donald Duck slippers?
Kate
Close. An inflatable clown to play with in the pool.
Kevin
How exciting. Why do we have to go to Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida.
[sarcastically]
Kate
Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees?
Kevin
How can you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?
Kate
We'll find a nice fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.
Announcer
Guests of Ding, Dang, Dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel: New York's most exciting hotel experience. For reservations, call toll-free, 1-800-759...
Peter
Where's the camcorder battery?
Kate
I put it in the charger. How's this? Oh, much better.
Peter
Hey, Kevin, you'd better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.
Kevin
My tie's in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man. Whatever that means.
[Peter and Kate stare]
Peter
I'm sure he was kidding. Just run in there, get your tie, get out, and don't look at anything.
[after a pause, chuckles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Substance Use and Personal Boundaries
Michael Alig
I won't do crack without heroin!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excess Leads to Fabulousness
Michael Alig
The road of excess leads to the palace of... fabulousness!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child's Plea for Attention
Kevin
Dad, wait up!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation to a Party and Relationship
Michael Alig
Come to my party. You can be my boyfriend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Jealousy and Consequences in Party Monster
Michael Alig
Oh James, I'm getting away with murder and you're just jealous.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Fear in a Dangerous Situation
Harry
You better say every prayer you ever heard before, kid!
Marv
I hope your parents got ya a tombstone for Christmas! Where'd he go?!
Kevin
I'm up here, and I'm very scared.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complimenting Shoes in a Holiday Encounter
Kevin
Excuse me.
Santa's Elf
Yeah?
Kevin
Hey, nice shoes.
Santa's Elf
Oh, thanks.
Kevin
Is he still here? It's really important that I see him.
Santa's Elf
He's getting in his car. I guess if you hurry, you can catch him.
Santa
Damn! How low can you go! Giving Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?
Kevin
Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Santa
If you make it quick. Santa's got a little get-together he's late for.
Kevin
I know that you're not the real Santa Claus.
Santa
What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity.
Kevin
I'm old enough to know how it works.
Santa
All right.
Kevin
But I also know you work for him. And I'd like you to give him a message.
Santa
Shoot.
Kevin
My name is Kevin McCallister, and my address is 671 Lincoln Boulevard. Do you need the phone number?
Santa
No, that's all right.
Kevin
This is extremely important. Would you please tell him that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Kate, Peter, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank, okay?
Santa
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Kevin
Thanks.
Santa
Wait. Hold on a second. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.
Kevin
That's okay.
Santa
No, no, no, don't be silly. Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get something. Here, hold out your little paw there. There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.
[pours out a few mint Tic-Tacs into Kevin's glove]
Kevin
I won't. Thanks.
Santa
SON OF A!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Apology for Immature Pranks
Buzz
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to apologize for whatever displeasure I might've caused you.
Kevin
What?
Buzz
My prank was immature and ill-timed.
Frank
Immature or not, it was pretty gol-dern hilarious.
Buzz
I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.
Kate
Oh, Buzz, that was very nice. Kevin, do you have something to say?
[the whole family claps their hands and stops, waiting for Kevin to say something]
Buzz
Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.
Kevin
I'm not sorry! I did what I did because Buzz humiliated me! And since he gets away with everything, I let him have it! And since you're all so stupid to believe his lies, I don't care if your idiotic Florida trip gets wrecked or not! Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate anyway?
Kate
Kevin!
Peter
Kevin, you walk out of here, you sleep on the third floor.
Fuller
Yeah, with me.
Kevin
So what else is new?
Frank
You'd better not wreck my trip, you little sourpuss! Your dad's paying good money for it!
Kevin
Oh, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!
Buzz
What a troubled young man.
Kevin
They're all a bunch of jerks.
Kate
Hi. You know, Kevin, the last time we all tried to take a trip, we had a problem that started just like this.
Kevin
Yeah, with me getting dumped on.
Kate
I don't care for your choice of words. That's not what happened last time, and it's not what's happening this time. Buzz apologized to you.
Kevin
Yeah, then he called me a trout-sniffer. He didn't mean what he said. He was just sucking up to you.
Kate
Okay, why don't you just sit up here for a while and think things over? When you're ready to apologize to Buzz and the rest of the family, you can come down.
Kevin
I'm not apologizing to Buzz! I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Kate
Then you can stay up here for the rest of the night.
Kevin
Fine. I don't wanna be down there anyway. I can't trust anybody in this family. And do you know what? If I had my own money, I'd go on my own vacation, alone, without any of you guys. And I'd have the most fun in my whole life.
Kate
Well, you got your wish last year. Maybe you'll get it again this year.
Kevin
I hope so!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Among Characters in a Scene
Horror
Sixteen men on a dead man's stomach.
[singing]
Fantasy
No, no! Chest! Chest!
Horror
Oh, uh, chest. Chest. Ah, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! Yo, ho, ho! And a bottle of rum!
[singing]
Richard Tyler
Aah! Aaaaaah...!
Tom Morgan
Evil spirits!
Horror
Hee, hee! SANCTUARY! Huh!
[jumping off the tree with a vine; knocks the pirates down, then landed on the ground]
Richard Tyler
Horror, you are alive!
Tom Morgan
Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!
[using the gun with Horror]
Horror
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstood Intentions in Family Relationships
Henry Evans
You really thought I was going to jump, huh? I guess you don't know me very well, Mom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring the Eerie Horror Section Together
Richard Tyler
Are we yet in the library?
Adventure
Aye, lad. The horror section.
Richard Tyler
It looks pretty eerie.
Adventure
That it does, mate. Just stick close to me and you've had nothing to worry about.
[doesn't sound too sure]
Richard Tyler
There it is! The exit!
Adventure
Looks like the only road to reach the exit is through that far house.
Richard Tyler
No way I'm going in there.
[swallows hard]
Adventure
It's your only chance, boy. It's only a house.
Richard Tyler
Yes, but seventeen percent of all incidents are household related.
Adventure
C'mon down, ya dog-eared scalawag!
Fantasy
Oh, put that fact away. You're frightening him. Come out, come out, wherever you are.
[with that said, she flies up after the little book]
Horror
I know why you shrieked. It's because I'm horrible. I frightened you!
Fantasy
Do I look afraid?
Horror
You mean you're not afraid?
Fantasy
Of course not. C'mon down.
Fantasy
You mustn't judge a book by its cover.
Adventure
Alright. Teatime's over. Let's start navigating this house.
[tired of waiting; takes a step closer to the haunted house]
Horror
No! Don't go in there! It's eerie inside!
[jumps out of Richard's arms]
Adventure
Ha! I ain't a-feared of nothing!
Horror
I'm afraid.
Richard Tyler
Of what? I know how you feel.
[Horror begins to list his fears one by one on his crooked, triple-jointed fingers]
Horror
Horror always has sad endings.
Fantasy
I come from a world of happy endings. Why don't you come with us?
Horror
Th-Through the house? I don't know...
Fantasy
You can do it.
Crow
Nevermore!
Richard Tyler
He-hello? Is anybody home?
Dr. Jekyll
May I assist you in some way?
Fantasy
Hello, Mr.-
Dr. Jekyll
Doctor. Doctor Jekyll.
Richard
Well, sir, we did ring the bell.....
Horror
It's all my fault. I was trying to help them find their road to the other side of the house.
Dr. Jekyll
The other side? My boy, I derive no pleasure in warning you that you are in extreme danger.
[Richard nods. Dr. Jekyll places his arm around Richard and leads him deeper into the house]
Richard
Danger?
Dr. Jekyll
Even as we speak, lurking in this room waiting to strike are forces of evil.
Dr. Jekyll
Every man has possessed of both good and evil. But enough of that. Anyone care for a drink?
Fantasy
Dr. Jekyll? Dr. J?
Mr. Hyde
My name...is Mr. Hyde!
Adventure
The stairs, mateys! The stairs!
Horror
Help, Master! Don't leave me! That's no way to treat a library book. Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
[trapped in the chandelier]
Fantasy
You have to help Him.
Richard
What's going on?
Horror
Ghost Stories.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounters in New York City
Harry
Come to Papa!
Marv
Ha! Round trip to Miami. What's the matter, get on the wrong plane, squirt?
[grabs Kevin's plane ticket]
Harry
Looks like you won't be needin this, kid.
[tears it up]
Marv
American don't fly to the promised land, little buddy.
[they hustle him away]
Harry
Come on. We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.
Marv
We busted out of the clink and we're doing fine. We're gonna be doing even better, because we're not robbing houses anymore. Now we're robbing toy stores.
[Harry chuckles]
Marv
At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that, we get a couple of phony passports, then it's off to Rio...
Harry
Marv! Marv!
Marv
Huh?
Harry
You want to shut up?
Marv
What's the difference? He's not gonna talk to anybody. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.
Harry
Let's just get him to the subway tunnel. I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice. I've got a gun in my pocket. You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.
[to Kevin]
Marv
Well, hello.
[trying to be suave again; she punches him in the face and he falls over]
Kevin
He did it!
[indicating Harry]
Harry
Did what?
[she punches Harry, too]
Kevin
Thanks!
Harry
Go get him!
Marv
He went in the park.
Harry
What are you doing, flirting?!
Marv
Over there!
Boy
Don't!
Girl
Give it!
Marv
Hey, Harry. I got him.
Harry
Let me see! That ain't him! Put him down, that ain't him! We should've shot him while we had the chance. I hate pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.
Marv
What else can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.
Harry
Not this kid.
Marv
But this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's all alone. Kids are scared of the park.
Harry
Yeah, grown men come in the park and don't ever leave alive. Good luck, little fella.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Provocation
Henry Evans
Hey, Mark. Don't fuck with me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Richie Rich Dismisses Mr. Van Dough
Richie Rich
Mr. Van Dough, you're fired!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Directions in a New City
Kevin
Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Donald Trump
Down the hall and to the left.
Kevin
Thank you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Taking Chances
Richard Tyler
Can't argue with statistics, Dad.
Alan Tyler
Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.
Richard Tyler
But, Dad...
Alan Tyler
Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy. You can do this.
[with a five-dollar-bill; gives money to Richard]
Richard Tyler
This is not good. Definitely not good.
[leaving his parents behind; to himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Transaction on the Doorstep
Johnny
Who is it?
Snakes
It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
[walks in]
Johnny
Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here.
Snakes
All right, Johnny. But what about my money?
Johnny
What money?
Snakes
Acey said you had some dough for me.
Johnny
That a fact? How much do I owe you?
Snakes
Acey said 10 percent.
Johnny
Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes
What do you mean?
Johnny
He's upstairs, takin a bath.
Kevin
Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!
[calling out]
Johnny
He'll call you when he gets out. Hey, I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no good keisteroff of my property, before I pump your guts full of lead.
[takes out his Tommy Gun]
Snakes
All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going.
[about to leave]
Johnny
1, 2, 10!
Johnny
Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
Kevin
MOM!!
[after a pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Claiming Ownership in a Shared Space
Michael Alig
..Not that it's your movie. You think it's yours. But it's really mine. All mine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Take on Drug Addiction Awareness
Michael Alig
We'll put James in a cage and hang a sign over it that says, "Do not feed the drug child!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Young Man's Search for a Book
Mr. Dewey
Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book.
Richard Tyler
Uh, Mister...
Mr. Dewey
Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons.
[starts speaking magically]
Richard Tyler
Look, all I want is...
Mr. Dewey
Adventure! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.
[grabbing him and speaking excitedly]
Richard Tyler
No, no. That's not it.
Mr. Dewey
Horror. Ahh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. Your library card, please.
[speaking scarily while creeping toward him; back to normal voice]
Richard Tyler
Uh, I don't have one.
Mr. Dewey
You do now.
[makes a library card appear magically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Intruders Attempt to Lure Kevin Out
Harry
Merry Christmas, little fella- we know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.
Marv
Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santa Claus and his elf.
Harry
We're not gonna hurt you.
Marv
No, no. We got some nice presents for you.
Harry
Be a good little fella now and open the door. Owww!
[Kevin shoots Harry in the groin; Harry falls to his knees as he mumbles under his breath]
Marv
What? What? What? What? What happened?
Harry
Get that little----!
Kevin
Hello. Yes! Yes!
[shoots Marv in the head; Marv screams in pain]
Marv
That little jerk is armed!
Harry
That's it! That's it! I'm going in the front! You go down the basement! That smart aleck. Oh, boy. That's it, you little... You little... No, not this time, you little brat. You little creep, where are you?
[Harry gets his hand burnt, screams in agony and then puts his hand in the snow]
Kevin
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Harry
I'll rip his head off! You're dead, kid. Ahhhhhh! Where are you, you little creep?!
[Harry gets his head blowtorched; He runs out, and puts his head in the snow; kicks the door open]
Marv
Harry, I'm coming in!
Kevin
Oh, no! I'm very scared!
Harry
It's too late for you, kid! We're already in the house! We're gonna get you!
[to Kevin]
Kevin
Okay, come and get me!
Harry
Why, you...! Now you're dead!
Marv
I'm gonna kill that kid!
[climbs in through the window and steps barefoot on the ornaments; screams in pain]
Harry
Marv.
Marv
Harry?
Harry
Why the hell'd you take your shoes off?!
Marv
Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
Kevin
I'm up here, you butt heads! Come and get me! You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?
[they slip on the toy cars]
Harry
Heads up! Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.
[Marv gets whacked by a paint can]
Marv
Harry!
[Harry gets whacked by a paint can]
Kevin
Yes!
Marv
He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.
Harry
Ah, shut up, will you? What is it?
Marv
Ooh, you're missing some teeth.
Harry
Where? Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him! You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!
Dispatcher
911, what's your emergency?
Kevin
Help, my house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy.
[disguising his voice]
Harry
You never know what's up there. There he is!
[trips over the wire]
Marv
I gotcha! I got him, Harry. I got him. Harry, get up! Give me a hand! I got him! Harry, help me! Get up! I got him.
[jumps over the wire and grabs Kevin by the ankle as he tries to run into the attic; screams as a tarantula is on his face]
Harry
What are you doing, Marv?
Marv
Harry, don't move.
Harry
Marv?
Marv
Don't... move.
Harry
Marv, what are you doing? Marv...
[screams in agony from Marv hitting him with the crowbar to try and kill the tarantula]
Marv
Did I get him? Did I get him? Where is it? Where is it?
Harry
Never mind did you get it! How do you like it, huh?! You jerk! Get that kid! Go on! Get that kid! Where'd he go?
[whacks Marv with the crowbar repeatedly]
Marv
Maybe he committed suicide.
Kevin
Down here, you big horse's butt! Come and get me before I call the police!
Marv
Let's get him!
Harry
Wait, wait. That's just what he wants us to do- us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up.
Marv
He's gonna call the cops!
Harry
From a treehouse?! Come on.
Marv
Out the window?
Harry
Yeah.
Marv
I'm not going out the window.
Harry
Why, you scared, Marv? Are you afraid? Come on, get out here. Come on. Come on! Keep going. Keep going.
Marv
Let's go back, Harry.
Harry
Shut up. Shut it, Marv!
Kevin
Hey, guys! Check this out.
Harry
Go back! Go back. There he goes! There he is! Get out of the way, you dope!
Marv
There he is!
Kevin
Hey, I'm calling the cops.
Harry
Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea. Come on. Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!
Marv
What are we gonna do to him, Harry?!
Harry
We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with his blowtorch.
Marv
Then we can smash his face with an iron!
Harry
I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe!
Marv
Or shove a nail through his foot!
Harry
The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of those little fingers, one at a time.
[Old Man Marley knocks them both down with a shovel]
Old Man Marley
Come on, let's get you home.
[to Kevin]
Kevin
Wow, this is great.
Officer 1
Nice move. Always leavin the water running. Now we know each and every house that you guys have hit.
Officer 2
Yeah, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.
Marv
Yeah, well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits. Wet Bandits. That's W-E-T--
Harry
Oh, shut up! Shut up! Get in the car! Hands off the head, pal!
Officer 1
Come on!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pizza Delivery Interaction
Johnny
Who is it?
Delivery man
It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza.
Johnny
Leave it on the doorstep and get outta here.
Delivery man
Okay. Um, well, what about the money?
[puts the pizza on the doorstep]
Johnny
What money?
Delivery man
Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.
Johnny
Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?
Delivery man
Uh, that'll be $11.80, sir.
Johnny
Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
Delivery man
Cheapskate.
Johnny
Hey, I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no good keister off of my property, before I pump your guts full of lead. 1, 2, 10!
Kevin
A lovely cheese pizza just for me.
[picks up the pizza, breaths in and exhales]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter on Christmas Day
Marley
Merry Christmas.
Kevin
Huh?
Marley
May I sit down? That's my granddaughter up there. The little red-haired girl. She's about your age. You know her?
[Kevin nods]
Kevin
No.
Marley
You live next to me, don't you?
Kevin
Yeah.
Marley
You can say hello when you see me. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay? You been a good boy this year?
Kevin
I think so.
Marley
You swear to it?
Kevin
No.
Marley
I had a feeling. Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself.
Kevin
It is?
Marley
I think so.
Kevin
Are you feeling bad about yourself?
Marley
No.
Kevin
I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. I really haven't been too good this year. I'm kind of upset about it because I really like my family. Even though sometimes I say I don't. Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?
Marley
I think so. How you feel about your family's a complicated thing.
Kevin
Especially with an older brother.
Marley
Deep down, you always love em. But you can forget that you love em. And you can hurt them and they can hurt you. And that's not just because you're young. You wanna know the real reason I'm here right now?
Kevin
Sure.
Marley
I came to hear my granddaughter sing. And I can't hear her tonight.
Kevin
You have plans?
Marley
No. I'm not welcome.
Kevin
At church?
Marley
You're always welcome at church. I'm not welcome with my son. Years back, before you and your family moved on the block, I had an argument with my son.
Kevin
How old is he?
Marley
He's grown up. We lost our tempers, and I said I didn't care to see him anymore. He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since.
Kevin
If you miss him, why don't you call him?
Marley
I'm afraid if I call him he won't talk to me.
Kevin
How do you know?
Marley
I don't. I'm just afraid he won't talk to me.
Kevin
No offense, but, aren't you a little old to be afraid?
Marley
You can be a little old for a lot of things. You're never too old to be afraid.
Kevin
That's true. I was afraid of our basement. It's dark. There's weird stuff down there, and it smells funny. That sort of thing. It's bothered me for years.
Marley
Basements are like that.
Kevin
I made myself go down to do some laundry... and I found out it's not so bad. I worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.
Marley
What's your point?
Kevin
My point is, you should call your son.
Marley
What if he won't talk to me?
Kevin
At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it. You won't have to be afraid anymore. No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad, especially around the holidays.
Marley
I don't know.
Kevin
Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway. I'm sure she misses you. And the presents.
Marley
I send her a check.
Kevin
I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a Big Bird knitted on it.
Marley
Oh, that's nice.
Kevin
Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that. I have a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.
Marley
You better run home where you belong. Think about what I said, all right?
Kevin
Okay.
Marley
It's nice talking to you.
Kevin
Nice talking to you. What about you?
Marley
Me?
Kevin
Yeah, you and your son.
Marley
We'll see what happens. Merry Christmas.
Kevin
Merry Christmas.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Classic Characters in a Heated Exchange
Adventure
I heard that! And I would let you know, I'm a Classic!
Fantasy
Mm-hmm, a classic misprint.
Adventure
Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out your pages, and use them for-! OH NO! MAN OVERBOARD!
[slips off; falls to the ground]
Richard Tyler
Do something!
[really freaking out]
Fantasy
Hmm... Oops. Ha, ha, I forgot my wand doesn't always work outside of the fantasy section.
[gives you a blast of wand, then Adventure falls and crashed down]
Richard Tyler
You mean you can't wish us to the exit?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disparaging Remarks About Authenticity and Originality
Michael Alig
You're just some lame-ass, Johnny-come-lately, fairy, faggot, copycat! You don't even know your skrink from your skrod! You stupid logger blogger!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Fear with Courage
Richard Tyler
(to the Dragon before being swallowed and overcoming fear of being eaten) I’m not scared of you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Support and Loyalty in Uncertain Times
Richie Rich
Okay; if any of you guys wanna turn back, just speak up and I'll understand.
Gloria
Hey, would you turn back if you were us? We're with you, Richie.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kerosene and Christmas: An Unexpected Encounter
Marv
Harry? You wearing aftershave?
Harry
That's not aftershave, that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.
Marv
Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?
Kevin
Merry Christmas.
[lights a match, Harry and Marv look at him; sets the rope on fire]
Harry
GO UP!
[Marv screams in horror]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Promise of Unforgettable Experience
Henry Evans
I promise you something amazing... something you'll never forget. Are you in?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Underestimating the Opponent in Home Alone 2
Marv
Where'd he go?!
Kevin
I'm up here! Come and get me!
[on the roof; takes a picture of them]
Marv
Let's kill!
Harry
Hold on, pea-brain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
Marv
This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's runnin scared. He ain't got a plan.
Harry
May I do the thinking, please? Thank you. Sonny!
[Marv gestures "go ahead"; calls up to Kevin]
Kevin
Yes?
Harry
Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knockin off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Understand?
Kevin
Mmm-hmm.
Harry
But since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal wit'cha. You throw down your camera, and we won't hurt ya. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?
Kevin
You promise?
Harry
I cross my heart and hope to die.
Kevin
Okay!
Harry
Okay, kid. Give it to me!
[he and Marv snicker; Kevin throws a brick, hitting Marv on the forehead]
Marv
Oh!
[falls down]
Kevin
Direct hit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Creating a Colorful, Endless World
Michael Alig
I wanted to create my own world. A world full of color where everyone could play. One big party that never ends.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Modern Slang in Conversation
Pee-Wee
Hey, man, just checking out your crib here.
Richie Rich
My crib?
Herbert Cadbury
I believe that's street slang for home, sir: an ].
[[idiom]
Omar
Who you callin an idiom?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Concern in The Pagemaster
Richard Tyler
This is not good. Definitely not good.
[repeated line in fear and doubt]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Calculating Risks in Everyday Life
Richard Tyler
Dad, 8% of all household accidents involve ladders, another 3% involve trees. We're looking at another 30% probability here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Adventures and Perils in a Fantasy World
Richard Tyler
I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor, made into a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten- got that? -eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lost Library Card and Exit Dilemma
Richard Tyler
I lost my library card. I can't check anybody out. We'll never get to the exit now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Promise of Love and Acceptance
Michael Alig
You'll love me. I promise.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.