Martin Landau Quotes

Bela Lugosi I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.

Ed Wood Well... I have a car.

Judah Rosenthal God is a luxury I can't afford.

Bela Lugosi This... this live television is madness!

Vandamm What possessed you to come blundering in here like this? Could it be an overpowering interest in art?

Roger Yes, the art of survival.

Eve He followed me here from the hotel.

Leonard He was in your room?

Roger Sure. Isn't everybody?

Roger I didn't realize you were an art collector. I thought you just collected corpses...I'll bet you paid plenty for this little piece of sculpture...She's worth every dollar of it, take it from me. She puts her heart into her work. In fact, her whole body.

Vandamm Has anyone ever told you that you overplay your various roles rather severely, Mr. Kaplan? First, you're the outraged Madison Avenue man who claims he's been mistaken for someone else. Then you play the fugitive from justice, supposedly trying to clear his name of a crime he knows he didn't commit. And now, you play the peevish lover, stung by jealousy and betrayal. It seems to me you fellows could stand a little less training from the FBI and a little more from the Actors Studio.

Roger Apparently, the only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.

Vandamm Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you.

Roger I wonder what subtle form of manslaughter is next on the program. Am I to be dropped into a vat of molten steel and become part of a new skyscraper, or are you going to ask this female to kiss me again and poison me to death?

Roger Who are you kidding? You have no feelings to hurt.

Bela Lugosi It's a wonderful idea! We'll be at peace! In the afterlife, you don't have to worry about finding work!

Bela Lugosi Too constrictive! I can't even fold my arms.

Coffin Salesman Gee, Mister Lugosi, I-I've never had any complaints.

Bela This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time!

Leonard You're not taking her on the plane with you?

Vandamm Of course I am. Like our friends, I too believe in neatness, Leonard. This matter is best disposed of from a great height, over water.

Bela Lugosi Eddie, you got me a new picture, eh?

Ed Wood Yes. It's gonna be a great picture and you'll love your character. Have a seat. Listen, Bunny? Bela's here. I gotta go. Listen, work some parties, hit the bars, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites! All right. Bye.

Bela Eddie... what kind of a movie is this?

Ed Wood My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?

Bela Lugosi You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

Ed Wood Oh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture. She doesn't show em the proper respect.

Bela Lugosi I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs!

Leonard You must have had some doubts about her yourself. You still do.

Vandamm Rubbish.

Leonard Why else would you have decided not to tell her that our little treasure here has a belly full of microfilm?

Vandamm You seem to be trying to fill mine with rotten apples.

Leonard Sometimes the truth does taste like a mouthful of worms.

Vandamm The truth? I've heard nothing but innuendos.

Leonard Call it my woman's intuition, if you will, but I've never trusted neatness. Neatness is always the result of deliberate planning.

Judah Rosenthal I remember my father telling me, "The eyes of God are on us always." The eyes of God. What a phrase to a young boy. What were God's eyes like? Unimaginably penetrating, intense eyes, I assumed. And I wonder if it was just a coincidence that I made my specialty ophthalmology.

Judah Rosenthal Jack lives in the real world. You live in the kingdom of heaven. I'd managed to keep free of that real world, but suddenly it's found me.

Bela Lugosi At Universal, we used to shoot one or two scenes a day. Eddie can knock off twenty, thirty — he's amazing!

Brooks You know which movie of yours I love, Mister Lugosi? The Invisible Ray. You were great as Karloff's sidekick.

Bela Lugosi Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff does not deserve to smell my SHIT! That Limey cocksucker can rot in hell for all I care!

Ed Wood W-what happened?

Bela How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It's all, all makeup, and-and grunting. Grrr-Rrrr!

Ed I agree, Bela. I agree a hundred percent. Now Dracula — there's a part that takes talent.

Judah Rosenthal One sin leads to a deeper sin.

Narrator In the beginning was the word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. I am He. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him, was made nothing that has been made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of man. And the light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness grasped it not. The greatest story ever told...

King Herod The child of imagination is the child I fear.

John the Baptist Repent!

The Dark Hermit - Satan A long climb, wasn't it? A long hard climb...You know, some people think the whole of life should be like that, hm..."An easy life is a sinful life". Not so, my friend...A man's life can be as easy as he wishes to make it. And it can be easy, my friend. If one knows the way to power and glory in this world.

Caiaphas Jesus of Nazareth, your crimes are so many I scarcely know where to begin.

Pontius Pilate You claim to be the son of God. Which one? Mars? Hercules? Jupiter? Which God are you the son of?

The Centurion Truly, this man was the Son of God.

Ed Wood Bela, what's in the needle?

Bela Lugosi Morphine. With a Demerol chaser.