Memorable Quotes from Maya Rudolph
11 quotesUnexpected Conversations About Relationships and Trust
Tara
God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
Herman
I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
Officer Dan
It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Moments in a Group Setting
James
Is it past the tutu?
Brinda
Everyone say a non-denominational prayer to yourselves.
Tattooed Bodybuilder
My safe word is "keep going".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questions at Squat-robics 101 Session
Aerobics Instructor
Welcome to Squat-robics 101. Any questions?
Jackie Tardio
Are you married?
Roxanne
Do you like my hair?
Deanne McKenzie
Can I stick my tongue down your throat please?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rita's Perspective on Time and Money
Rita
That's good, cause I charge by the hour.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Your Place in Monroeville
Malvina Monroe
As you can see, Giselle, everyone has their place. Once you found where you fit, Monroeville can be whatever you wish.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frat House Tensions Escalate Among Characters
Roxanne Feder
Excuse me, why are you here? What's the matter?
Frat Boy Milo
I tell you what is the matter. These old townies trashed our frat house! And nobody treats our good-times headquarters with disrespect!
[mocking Roxanne; frat boys laugh, speaking in normal accent; all frat boys yell "Yeah!"]
Braden Higgins
They didn't do it. Me do it.
Frat Boy Milo
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
Lenny Feder
Who's Z-Dog?
Frat Boy Andy
We know they're trying to get back at us for making them do the naked plunge in our swimming hole.
Deanne McKenzie
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming at the quarry since I was eight years old.
Frat Boy Andy
Apparently, everybody in this crap town has been swimming there since they were eight years old. I guess nobody wants to leave this dump because they're too busy sucking! We'll finish later.
[all frat boys cheer, Andy and Milo do their handshake, but stop in the middle]
Frat Boy Milo
You promise?
Frat Boy Andy
I promise.
[touching Milo's cheek]
Frat Boy Milo
Okay.
Dickey Bailey
Hey, smart guy! Lenny Feder left this town, moved to Hollywood, made big bucks, probably more money than all you brainiacs put together ever will. But guess what? He came back here. Cause this beautiful town is his home. And it always will be his home.
[looks at Lenny, who nods of approval, Dickey raises his beer, and takes a drink]
Frat Boy Milo
Well, that was just a moving testament to this community, bro! But we didn't come here to hear any lame speeches. We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!
[frat boys cheer, Milo turns around and bends over, and Andy slaps his butt three times]
Lenny Feder
Fellas, we may be old.
Marcus Higgins
We may be smelly.
Deanne McKenzie
We may have a penis.
[she, Roxanne, and a drunk woman point at Beefcake Kitty]
Eric Lamonsoff
But the only ones getting their ass kicked around here is gonna be you spoiled, privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
Kurt McKenzie
You hear that? Now let's get BUSY!!
[everyone starts fighting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity About Hidden Truths
Malvina Monroe
Something's going on with her, and I wanna know what.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding the Consequences of Ignorance
Rita
You think ] walked around thinking everyone was a bunch of dumb-shits? Now you know why he built that bomb.
[[Einstein]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Delusion
Malvina Monroe
You're hilarious. Delusional, but hilarious.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Malvina Monroe's Reflection on Giselle's Actions
Malvina Monroe
Oh, Giselle, what have you done?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surprise at Unpleasant Medical Condition
Rita
Man! Upgrayedd didn't tell me they'd be putting me in no damn coffin with tubes and shit!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.