Memorable Quotes from Michael Zwiener
7 quotesLunchbox Dilemmas in Youth Sports
Kevin O'Shea
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Are you nuts?
[Upon discovering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich inside of Rudy's helmet]
Rudy Zolteck
It's still good!
[Takes a bite]
Kevin O'Shea
You'll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunchbox, son. What are those?
[Sees Butz pull something else out of the helmet]
Butz
Cheetos.
Kevin O'Shea
Crunchy or Puffed?
Butz
Puffed.
Kevin O'Shea
Whimp.
[Under his breath]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Banter Among Friends
Sean Murphy
Get ready dog breath. Because when I'm finished with you, you'll be farting out of your mouth and talking out of your butt!
[As the Cowboys have possession of the ball; to Rudy]
Rudy Zolteck
Is that physically possible?
[To "Rad Tad"]
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Are you all right?
Rudy Zolteck
I think so.
[Talking out of his butt]
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Huh! I guess it is possible.
[Impressed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heated Moment on the Field
Danny O'Shea
C'mon, ref! This isn't American Gladiators! That was a cheap shot!
Referee
No penalty, no penalty.
Timmy Moore
Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greeley?
[Dazed]
Rudy Zolteck
Wow, Spike knocked him all the way back to second grade!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Team Spirit Amidst Adversity
Rudy Zolteck
Great, now they have Spike.
Jake "Berminator" Berman
And we got nothing.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
We got us.
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah! We stink!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Cause you can't catch, Hot Hands.
Rudy Zolteck
At least he can walk, Crush Jerk.
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Hey Zolteck, have another Pop Tart!
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah, fart boy, or can't you open your big mouth wide enough?!?
Danny O'Shea
Okay, guys, that's enough.
Junior Floyd
Yeah, Coach's right. Break it up.
Rudy Zolteck
Oh, shut up, Junior! You're so good, it makes us sick!
Junior Floyd
Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm outta here.
[Pause; Leaves]
Becky
Nice work! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team.
Marcus, the kicker
Hey, if it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and played a little more football!
Little Giants
Yeah!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Why can't we all just play together?
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit!
Rudy Zolteck
Yeah, quit bawling you big baby!
Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
I can cry if I want! It's a free country! I can even do this!
[kicks Rudy's leg]
Rudy Zolteck
Ow! Ow!
Marcus, the kicker
Nice kick.
[Impressed]
Danny O'Shea
Guys, practice isn't over yet.
Little Giants
Who cares?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with a Parent
Rudy Zolteck
Aahh! It's a mom!
[As the Little Giants are changing, a woman arrives with her son]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration and Aspirations in Team Dynamics
Rudy Zolteck
We never get picked for anything. Life stinks!
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros. I'm gonna have to be a senator.
Rudy Zolteck
Here's a kiss for Murphy. And for Patterson and Briggs too.
[Farts loudly]
Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Whoo! Whoo!
[Laughing while waving his hand]
Murphy
UGH! Damn, Zol-fart! What kind of roadkill did your mom feed you last night?
[Enters with Briggs and Patterson]
Rudy Zolteck
Free-range skunk.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Response to a Call
Rudy Zolteck
You rang?
[Repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.