Space Jam - Struggles of a Basketball Team
Charles Barkley: [Sits down]
Guys...we suck.
Larry Johnson:
Yeah, man. My grandmother played better than I do.
Muggsy Bogues:
At least you guys are still tall. I'm nothing now. Just another short guy.
Charles Barkley:
You got that right.
Larry Johnson:
That's the only thing that's right.
Patrick Ewing:
Who's that?
Larry Johnson:
Who's that?
Muggsy Bogues:
I don't know.
Michael Jordan:
Been getting your butts kicked, haven't you?
Muggsy Bogues:
Who's that?
Charles Barkley:
It's Mike.
Muggsy Bogues:
What's up?
Patrick Ewing:
Hey, man. What you doing here?
Michael Jordan:
Don't be embarrassed. Just face it. You guys stink.
Larry Johnson:
Come on, Mike, lighten up.
Michael Jordan:
I know, and you want your games back, huh? What little games you had to begin with.
Shawn Bradley:
It's hard enough as it is, Mike.
Charles Barkley:
Come on, give us a break.
Michael Jordan:
I'm gonna regret this. Stan, give me the ball.
Larry Johnson:
Look at that.
Muggsy Bogues: [[w:List of Star Trek films|Star Trek]
Look like something from ].
Michael Jordan:
Touch it.
Shawn Bradley: [Shaking his head]
No way. Jose.
Michael Jordan:
Pat, you want your talent back? You don't have any other choice. Just touch it.
Patrick Ewing:
I don't know, man.
Larry Johnson:
Don't touch that, man.
Michael Jordan:
Okay, you're gonna walk around wit a bad game for the rest of your career. Touch the ball.
Shawn Bradley:
Be careful, Pat. We've tried everything else.
Patrick Ewing:
Thank goodness.
Michael Jordan:
Come on, Charles. Touch it. The rest of you guys. Just touch it.
Larry Johnson:
Oh, man!
Charles Barkley:
What was that?
Muggsy Bogues: [Dribbling the ball and doing the "rock"]
Hey. Hey, I caught it!
Patrick Ewing:
Hey, look at Muggsy handle the rock. Handle it, baby.
Muggsy Bogues: [Passes the ball to Larry]
I can handle that rock again!
Larry Johnson:
That's the old Muggs I know.
Patrick Ewing: [Larry slam dunks the ball]
Yeah, get height now. Yeah!
Larry Johnson:
It gave me my powers back!
Charles Barkley: [Takes the ball]
That wasn't bad. Let me show you something.
Larry Johnson: [Charles slam dunks the ball]
Let me see. Whoo!
Patrick Ewing: [Takes the ball; Slam dunks the ball]
The Round Mound is back. You wanna see something? Oh, man that felt good.
Shawn Bradley: [Slam dunks the ball]
I got it.
Muggsy Bogues:
You got it. Yeah, baby.
Charles Barkley:
Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay? Play some 3-on-3 with us.
Michael Jordan:
No. I don't think so.
Charles Barkley:
What are you gonna do, work on that baseball swing?
Patrick Ewing:
Now leave the baseball player alone, man. You know he doesn't play basketball anymore.
Shawn Bradley:
You know, he probably doesn't even have it anymore, guys.
Stan Podolak:
Michael, do you hear them? They don't think you can play the game anymore.
Michael Jordan:
There's only one way to find out.
Announcer on P.A.:
The Chicago Bulls welcome back... Michael Jordan!
Larry Bird: [concerned]
What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray:
Larry, that could've been me.
Larry Bird:
Will you get off that kick? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: [Voice breaking]
Okay. Let's go Bulls!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Space Jam - Unexpected Encounter at Michael's House
Daffy Duck: [they stop digging]
The view back here stinks!
Bugs Bunny: [Stops and sees the house; Bumps into Daffy]
Whoa!
Daffy Duck:
Ow! What?
Bugs Bunny:
We're right in front of Michael's house.
Daffy Duck:
I knew that.
Bugs Bunny:
Shh! Okay, let's go in dis way.
Daffy Duck:
I say, let's go in that way!
Bugs Bunny:
He just never learns.
Daffy Duck: [Lights up a lighter and sees Charles, who is growling at him.; Nervously]
Now let me see. I must be very, very close. Mother...
Bugs Bunny: [As he fixes the rug, he hears knocking on the door.]
Nice digs. Well, well. I wonder who dat could be?
Daffy Duck: [Dizzy; Falls down]
Twinkle, twinkle, little star...
Bugs Bunny: [Whispering]
Shh. Everyone's sleeping.
Daffy Duck: [Gets up]
I knew that.
Bugs Bunny: [Closes the front door]
Come on, come on. We gotta find Michael's basketball stuff.
Bugs Bunny: [Opens the right door and peaks; Closes the door]
Nope. Nothing in here.
Daffy Duck: [Opens the left door and peaks; Closes the door]
Nope. Ahh, but a very nice dinette set.
Bugs Bunny: [Peaks through another door; Closes the door]
Eh-eh. Not here. Let's look upstairs.
Daffy Duck:
Yes. Oh, fearless leader.
Daffy Duck: [Sees Jasmine sleeping]
So, he needs his special underwear...
Bugs Bunny:
Shh!
Daffy Duck: [Quietly]
Sorry. You think she's got enough toys?
Bugs Bunny:
Speaking of toys, you know all of those mugs and, uh, t-shoits and lunchboxes wit our pictures on em?
Daffy Duck:
Yeah.
Bugs Bunny:
You, uh, ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: [Scoffs]
Not a cent.
Bugs Bunny:
Hmm, me neither.
Daffy Duck: [Sighs]
It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents. We're getting screwed.
Bugs Bunny:
We have found the trophy room! Now spread out and soich the place.
Daffy Duck: [Bows; Turns on the lamp, muttering to himself]
Yes, sahib. Oh, brother. Here I am, in the peak of my form, playing second banana to some sort of harebrain...
Bugs Bunny: [Sees the North Carolina bag; Grabs the bag]
Yap, yap, yap. Hmm. This could be useful. Aha!
Daffy Duck: [Digging out the drawers from the dresser]
If this were a union job, I'd... Yes, that's very nice.
Bugs Bunny: [Sees the sneaker; Puts the sneaker in the bag and looks around; Singsongy; Sees the sneaker on the stand; Gets the chair and climbs on it]
Hmm. Oh, one of his shoes. Where is that other shoe? Where are you? Eureka! Come to papa.
Bugs Bunny: [Nearly slips and the trophy falls]
Oops!
Daffy Duck: [Annoyed]
What a fuzz foot. You are so clumsy!
Bugs Bunny: [Reaches the shoe and pushes it off]
Catch, feather head.
Daffy Duck: [Catches it with the bag]
Thanks.
Bugs Bunny:
Well, time to go.
Daffy Duck:
Did we get everything?
Daffy and Bugs: [Realizing]
The shorts!
Bugs Bunny: [Sees the door to the closet]
In there?
Daffy Duck: [Walks to the door; Opens the door, and sees Charles growling at him, who has the shorts in his mouth, then Daffy closes the door and gets scared; Then Charles breaks down the door and makes it fall on Daffy.; Dizzy; coming out from the door; Then he runs up to Bugs]
Okay, I'll check. I found... the shorts. The pain. I'm right behind ya, pal.
Bugs Bunny:
Uh, that's none too reassuring.
Daffy Duck: [Pulls out a bone; Charles doesn't take it]
Nice puppy. How's about a bone? No dice.
Bugs Bunny: [Pulls out a ham; Charles doesn't take it either]
What about a nice holiday ham? He ain't buying it. Uh, can't we talk this over, rover?
Daffy Duck: [Hugging Bugs, scared; [w:Beethoven (film)|Beethoven]
Roll over, ]!
Bugs Bunny: [Sees the kids]
Ooh! The kids are here.
Jeffrey Jordan:
Give it to me, Charles!
Jeffrey Jordan:
Here you go, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: [Chuckling; Gives him a thumbs up]
Thanks, kid.
Marcus Jordan: [To Charles]
Shoo! Shoo!
Daffy Duck:
Bad dog! That is the last time I'm ever working with dogs or children!
Jeffrey Jordan: [Stops them]
Hey, where you going?
Bugs Bunny:
Well, uh, you see, the Looney Tunes have a big basketball game coming up, and uh, your dad's gonna play.
Jeffrey Jordan:
All right!
Bugs Bunny: [Jeff nods his head, Bugs and Daffy leave the house.]
Yeah! But don't tell anybody.
Fortune teller:
I see aliens. Little aliens from outer space. They force their way inside your bodies. They need your talent to win a... basketball game against... Bugs Bunny.
Patrick Ewing: [Whispering]
Bugs Bunny?
Fortune teller:
I also see Michael Jordan... being sucked down a golf hole... by furry creatures.
Patrick Ewing: [Gets up from the chair]
That's it. We're outta here.
Larry Johnson:
We're leaving now.
Shawn Bradley:
Let's try some acupuncture.
Muggsy Bogues: [To Fortune teller]
Good idea. Bye.
Stan Podolak:
This is it! This is it! I don't know where you are, Michael, but wherever you are, you obviously enjoy being there more than spending time with me!
Daffy Duck:
You better hope this Jordan character still knows how to play hoops.
Bugs Bunny:
You and me both, brudda.
Daffy Duck: [[w:The Mighty Ducks|The Ducks]
Listen, how's this for a new team name? ]!
Bugs Bunny: [[w:The Walt Disney Company|Mickey Mouse organization]
Please. What kind of ] would name their team The Ducks?
Daffy Duck:
So sue me, It's just a suggestion.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Space Jam - Charles Barkley's Unexpected Encounter with Fans
Teenage girl: [Surprised; Charles nods]
You're... You're Charles Barkley.
Teenage girl #2:
Who you talking to?
Teenage girl: [Calling to her friends]
Girls, come on over. Hurry up, hurry. Look! It's Charles Barkley.
Charles Barkley:
Hey, can I play?
Teenage girls: [Agreeing]
Sure!
Teenage girl:
You're not Charles Barkley. Just a wannabe who looks like him. Sorry. Break out. You shouldn't even be here! Be gone. Wannabe! Be gone!
Doctor:
Just a few more tests, gentlemen. Tests for electrolyte levels, glucose, CBC's, RBC's, et cetera. and we've scheduled a 12-lead stress test and neurological battery to include EEG, the reflex test...
Charles Barkley:
And t-this girl... 5 feet nothing... blocked my shot.
Charles Barkley:
It wasn't a dream! It really happened!
Larry Johnson: [Stands up]
And it climbed up my back, and into my brain.
Psychiatrist:
Are there any other areas, besides basketball...where you find yourself...
Barry White's voice:
Yeah.
Psychiatrist:
...unable to perform?
Barry White's voice:
Yeah, yeah.
Patrick Ewing: [Sits up, irritated]
No!
Psychiatrist:
Just asking.
Larry Johnson:
I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-rayed, laser beamed...
Charles Barkley:
I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash-talk.
Shawn Bradley:
I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm.
Psychiatrist:
Really?
Shawn Bradley: [Then it's Muggsy's turn]
Or maybe... I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again.
Muggsy Bogues:
What are you saying? That I'm tryna disobey my mama?
Psychiatrist:
I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.
Muggsy Bogues:
But I love my mama.
Patrick Ewing:
Still can't find anything wrong with us.
Muggsy Bogues:
Hey, maybe there's nothing wrong with us.
Larry Johnson:
That's right, Muggs. Maybe it's just in our heads.
Muggsy Bogues:
We're fine. It's just some psychosomatic deal, or something to do with the moon or the alignment of the planet.
Charles Barkley: [[Madonna]
I'll never go out with ] again.
Golfer:
What are you doing?
Stan Podolak: [Stops and sees him]
I'm, uh...I'm fixing a divot.
Golfer: [Walking back and yelling to his friends]
Oh. He's fixing a divot!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.














