Peter BoyleQuotes

Jimmy Ryan: I can't figure him for a cannon. The only thing Pen Pal would ever use is the U.S. Mail... Extortion.

Jimmy Ryan: Sex was nearly all Sue Alabama ever needed, and she could use it the way some guys use a blackjack.

Jimmy Ryan: She primed him and I went in on the cleanup.

Jimmy Ryan: Her name wasn't really Sue Alabama... It was Sue something Greek and unpronounceable.

Dillon: I heard a guy on television the other night. He was talking about pigeons. He called them "flying rats". I thought that was pretty good. What he had in mind, he was going to give them a pill or something, to make them extinct. Now, uh, here was a guy, who got shit on, probably got shit on again, then he got mad. They ruined his suit or something, so he's going to spend the rest of his life getting even with pigeons, they ruined a four hundred dollar suit. Now, uh, there's no percentage in that, you know, because there's probably ten million pigeons in Boston alone. All of em layin eggs every day, which generally produce more pigeons. All, uh, droppin tons and tons of shit, every day, rain or shine. And this guy in New York, he's goin "well, there just aren't gonna be any more of em in this world." A man gets desperate. He does a few things, he knows it won't work. Pretty soon he quits, packs it in, goes away someplace. That's the only way there is.

Dave Foley: Okay. You gave us Scalise, and we're grateful. You can't talk about Coyle, you can't talk about Coyle. It's all right.

Dillon: Thanks.

Dave Foley: Screw. We been friends a long time now. I never asked a friend yet to do somethin he really couldn't do, I knew he couldn't do it.

Dave Foley: [begins walking off in a different direction] Have a nice day.

Dillon: There's nothin much goin on.

Dave Foley: [chuckling] You guys must've taken up circle jerks or somethin'. They ought to run one of these grand juries every three weeks or so. It sure puts you guys in the closet.

Dillon: Fuck you.

Dave Foley: [laughing] By the end of the week, Artie Van's gonna be sellin papers, or shinin shoes, or somethin'. You ought to get unemployment.

Dillon: Cut it out.

Dave Foley: All right. That was a cheap shot, I apologize. But, if there isn't anything goin on...

Dillon: There's somethin goin on.

Dave Foley: A bunch of the boys gettin together to watch dirty movies?

Dillon: Mmm...To tell you the truth, I don't know what it is. People are tryin to sort of avoid people, you know? Guys telephonin for guys that aren't there.

Dave Foley: [hands Dillon some money] Here's twenty. Who's callin up?

Dillon: Remember Eddie "Fingers"?

Dave Foley: Fella that got his hand busted up. Who's he lookin for?

Dillon: Jimmy Scalise. Do you know him?

Dave Foley: Last time I heard, he was in Florida, gettin some sun. Does he find him?

Dillon: I don't know. I'm just a messenger boy.

Dave Foley: They give you numbers?

Dillon: Telephone numbers. I'm a law-abiding citizen. I got a liquor license.

Dave Foley: No, you work for a guy that's got a liquor license. Ever see him? You're a convicted felon.

Dillon: Like I say, I work for a guy got a liquor license. I forget sometimes.

Dave Foley: Want to forget this?

Dillon: I'd just as soon.

Dave Foley: You ought to get yourself a car.

Dillon: [begins walking away] I don't drive. I could afford a car, I wouldn't be takin twenty a week from you.

Dave Foley: Have a nice day.

Rowland: There's a clone doctor named Runa Pedanken. Made a big name for herself creating an entire basketball team from one old guy.

Pluto: The Air Jordans. Yeah.

Buck Grotowski: Who are you?

Leticia Musgrove: Um...

Buck Grotowski: You just walked in my house.

Leticia Musgrove: My bad. I thought...

Buck Grotowski: Hank? You lookin for Hank?

Leticia Musgrove: Yes. Is he here?

Buck Grotowski: Who are you?

Leticia Musgrove: My name is Leticia Musgrove... and, uh... me and Hank is, uh... friends.

Buck Grotowski: Musgrove? Please, little darlin', have you got a cigarette?

Leticia Musgrove: Yeah, but it looks to me like you really don't need to be smoking.

Buck Grotowski: Damn porch monkeys! Your mother, she hated them niggers too.

Buck Grotowski: What the hell those niggers doing out there?

Buck Grotowski: You ain't no man till you split dark oak.

Restaurant cashier: Sir, you can't come in here looking like that.

Carl Lazlo, Esq.: I'm the president of the United States and I can do what I want.

Carl Lazlo, Esq.: You're really getting all this?

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I'm a total professional.

Carl Lazlo, Esq.: As your ex-attorney, I advise you not to worry.

Carl Lazlo, Esq.: As your attorney, I advise you to leave this room at once.

Mother Nature: Jack Frost, you are hereby charged with 273 counts of attempted upstaging of Santa Claus. You froze a volcano in Hawaii, you made it snow in the Amazon, and you frosted Mexico, sending all of the geese north for the winter.

Jack: [scoffs] Oh.

Mother Nature: You have violated the Legendary Figures Code of Conduct in a manner that is both willful and malicious.

Jack: Excuse me, did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?

Scott: Oh, please.

Jack: Guilty as charged.

Father Time: Frost, you herald a season. You're not a holiday.

Tooth Fairy: You're the best friend, not the leading man.

Easter Bunny: And you kill fruit!

Jack McDermott: Stop! Who dares to tow the van of the living Christ?

Driver: The city of New York, Tarzan! $50 for the violation, $75 for the tow and $20 a day for storage.

Jack McDermott: [skyward] Father, forgive us for we have sinned! We parked our car in a forbidden zone!

Jack McDermott: I am the Lord they God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me. Out of my way, asshole.

Jack McDermott: I don't want him next to me. He smells like tuna fish.

Jack McDermott: This is the body and blood of our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. And a damned fine Beaujolais!

Joe Curran: It's colder than a witch's tit.

Joe Curran: [[money] The niggers, the niggers are gettin all the ]. Why work, tell me, why the fuck work, when you can screw, have babies, an get paid for it?

Joe Curran: [at the urinal] Hey, they got ice down there! I never pissed on ice before.

Joe Curran: [[liberals; [Homosexuality|queer; [George Wallace|Wallace] Forty-two percent of all ] are ], that's a fact. The ] people did a poll.

Captain Green: [Witnessing Malcolm's control over a mob] That's too much power for one man to have.

Ossie Davis: [delivering Malcolm's eulogy] Here, at this final hour, in this quiet place, Harlem has come to bid farewell to one of its brightest hopes. Extinguished now, and gone from us forever. It is not in the memory of man that this beleaguered, unfortunate, but nonetheless proud community, has found a braver, more gallant young champion than this Afro-American who lies before us - unconquered still. I say the word again, as he would want me to: Afro-American. Afro-American Malcolm. Malcolm had stopped being Negro years ago. It had become too small, too puny, too weak a word for him. Malcolm was bigger than that. Malcolm had become an Afro-American, and he wanted so desperately that we, that all his people, would become Afro-Americans, too.There are those who still consider it their duty, as friends of the Negro people, to tell us to revile him, to flee, even from the presence of his memory, to save ourselves by writing him out of the history of our turbulent times. And we will smile. They will say that he is of hate, a fanatic, a racist who can only bring evil to the cause for which you struggle! And we will answer and say unto them: Did you ever talk to Brother Malcolm? Did you ever touch him or have him smile at you? Did you ever really listen to him? Was he ever himself associated with violence or any public disturbance? For if you did, you would know him. And if you knew him, you would know why we must honor him: Malcolm was our manhood, our living, black manhood! This was his meaning to his people. And, in honoring him, we honor the best in ourselves.However much we may have differed with him or with each other about him and his value as a man, let his going from us serve only to bring us together now. Consigning these mortal remains to earth, the common mother of all, secure in the knowledge that what we place in the ground is no more now a man, but a seed which, after the winter of our discontent, will come forth again to meet us. And we shall know him then for what he was, and is: a prince! Our own black shining prince who didn’t hesitate to die, because he loved us so.

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Monster: ["Super duper"] UU-AA UU-AA!!!

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Monster: [After Igor and Inga switched Dr. Frankenstein and the Monster's brains from their bodies by using experiments, using proper English to convince Inspector Kemp and the angry mob about the situation; looks down at the unconscious Dr. Frankenstein] For as long as I can remember, people have hated me. They looked at my face and my body, and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness, I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope, I would instead cause fear! I live because this poor, half-crazed genius has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful. And then, when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger, he used his own body as a guinea pig to give me a calmer brain and a somewhat more sophisticated way of expressing myself.