Roger MooreQuotes

Solitaire: Where's Kananga?

James Bond: Well he always did have an over-inflated opinion of himself.

Tee-Hee: [on a telescopic wooden bridge to the crocodilian enclosure at the farm that Kananga produces heroin at; the bridge is being wound back by Adam] There are two ways to disable a croc, you know.

James Bond: [stranded on a little island in the enclosure's big lake] I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what they are.

Tee-Hee: One way is to take a pencil and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye.

Bond: And the other?

Tee-Hee: [gets off the now wound-back bridge and hands the metal feeding tray to Adam as he shuts the gate; slides the gate's locking bolt into position; starts laughing loudly as he, Adam and the other two henchmen walk away to the laboratory] Oh, the other way is twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth and pull his teeth out.

Solitaire: Is there time before we leave, for Lesson number 3?

James Bond: [undressing] Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked.

Mr. Big: [to his men] Is this the stupid mother who tailed you uptown?

James Bond: There seems to be some mistake. My name is...

Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honky out and WASTE HIM! NOW!

M: [Bond activates the watch magnet, drawing M's teaspoon to it] I'm sure the over-burdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how its Special Ordinances section disperses its funds. In future, Commander, let me suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker just down the street. Good God!

James Bond: You see, sir, by pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...

M: I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!

James Bond: I should have told you. Never go in there without a mongoose.

James Bond: [after finding a feathered hat in the cabin, Rosie Carver looks fearful, but Bond tries to console her] Don't worry darling, it's just a hat, belonging to a small-headed man of limited means, who lost a fight with a chicken.

Francisco Scaramanga: Ah, Miss Goodnight.

Mary Goodnight: James!

James Bond: Aren't we a little overdressed, Goodnight?

Scaramanga: [shows Goodnight to her chair; Bond sits next to her as Nick Nack places a tray on the table; he lifts the tray's lid; As he sits down across from Bond, Goodnight takes a hasty look at the mushrooms and glances meaningfully at Bond.] I like a girl in a bikini. No concealed weapons. Miss Goodnight, please. Mr. Bond. Now, let's see what Nick Nack has for us. Ahh- mushrooms. )

Goodnight: The fried mushroom looks terribly interesting.

Bond: [Scaramanga subtly places several pieces of his Golden Gun on the table as Nick Nack pours wine] Yes, I noticed that- I'll get around to it later. Having fun in the sun, Goodnight?

Goodnight: [sarcastically; Scaramanga watches them] Yes- I could stay here forever.

Bond: [tastes the wine, Scaramanga gives him an inquiring look] Mmm, excellent- slightly reminiscent of a 34 Mouton.

Scaramanga: [nods, pulls out a gold-plated pen that doubles as the barrel of the Golden Gun; writes it down] Then I must add it to my cellar.

Bond: You live well, Scaramanga.

Scaramanga: [raises his glass in a toast; he and Goodnight drink, but Bond does not] At a million dollars a contract, I can afford to, Mr. Bond. You work for peanuts, a hearty well done from Her Majesty the Queen, and a pittance of a pension. Apart from that, we are the same. To us, Mr. Bond. We are the best.

Bond: [coldly; [w:Shit|useful four letter word; Scaramanga sets down his wine, his expression cold] There's a ]... and you're full of it. When I kill, it is on the specific orders of my government. And those I kill are themselves killers.

Scaramanga: [takes the various pieces of the Golden Gun and moves them into his lap, out of sight] Ha! Come, come, Mr. Bond, you disappoint me. You get as much fulfillment out of killing as I do, so why don't you admit it?

Bond: I admit killing you would be a pleasure.

Scaramanga: [smirks] Then you should have done that when you first saw me. But then, of course, the English don't consider it sporting to kill in cold blood, do they?

Bond: [reaches for his gun, but Scaramanga raises his Golden Gun, which he has surreptitiously put together.] Don't count on that.

Scaramanga: [quietly; Bond slowly moves his hand away from his pistol] ... I could have shot you down when you landed, but that would have been ridiculously easy. You see, Mr. Bond, like all great artists I want to create one indisputable masterpiece. The death of 007 -mano a mano, face to face- will be mine.

Bond: You mean, stuffed and displayed over your rocky mantelpiece?

Scaramanga: It's an amusing idea, but I was thinking more in terms of history. A duel between titans... my golden gun against your Walther PPK. Each of us a 50-50 chance.

Bond: Six bullets to your one?

Scaramanga: I only need one.

Bond: ...Sounds a bit old-fashioned, doesn't it? Pistols and dawn, that sort of thing?

Scaramanga: Indeed it is, Mr Bond. But it still remains the only true test, for gentlemen.

Bond: I doubt you'll qualify on that score. However, I accept. As soon as I finish this delicious lunch Nick Nack has prepared for us.

Francisco Scaramanga: [on the dead Andrea Anders] Forget the girl, she's replaceable. But I shall find what she stole from me. Personally, I've got nothing against you, Mr. Bond, and to keep it that way, let us hope our paths never cross again. Please don't try to follow me.

James Bond: Your peanut-toting friend back there wouldn't like it?

Scaramanga: No, he wouldn't.

Francisco Scaramanga: When I was a boy, I was brought up in a circus. My only real friend was a huge, magnificent African bull elephant. One day, his handler mistreated him and he went berserk. Bleeding, dying, he came and found me, stood on one leg, his best trick, picked me up and put me on his back. The drunken handler came along and emptied his gun into his eye... I emptied my stage pistol into his!

James Bond: An eye for an eye. Nut?

Scaramanga: [Bond looks agape at him with the last few words] You see, Mr. Bond, I always thought I liked animals. Then I discovered that I liked killing people even more.

Francisco Scaramanga: [senses Bond preparing to shoot him; Bond looks behind him and doesn't see anything] You won't find it in there Mr Bond. I looked before you came. I wouldn't do that either. Look behind you. Lower.

James Bond: A gun in a bag of peanuts, how original! What will they think of next?

Lazar: My relationship with a client Mr. Bond is strictly confidential, like a doctor or a priest.

James Bond: Of course, yet you make guns for fingerless hoodlums, bullets for assassins.

Lazar: Mr. Bond, bullets do not kill. It is the finger that pulls the trigger.

Bond: [swings a rifle barrel toward Lazar's crotch] Exactly. I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.

Lazar: I have never seen Mr. Scaramanga.

Bond: On a cost-per-bullet basis he must be your best customer.

Lazar: That is true, but unfortunately he seems only to fire them occasionally.

Bond: When was the--uh--last shipment?

Lazar: Mr. Bond, this is impossible! I cannot...

Bond: [reloads the rifle; Lazar, badly shaken, runs into a side room and returns with a cigarette pack full of gold bullets] You're quite right....an inch too low.

Lazar: I have just completed an order for immediate delivery.

Bond: Who collects them?

Lazar: I swear I do not know! My instructions are to go to the casino, I am paid, and they vanish!

Saida: Let us forget the past.

James Bond: Oh, I was hoping you'd say that.

Saida: Are you staying long in Beirut?

James Bond: Depends.

James Bond: [As he bends down to pick it up, he begins to kiss her belly. Saida enjoys it.] Clumsy me. You really do have a magnificent abdomen.

Saida: [fixing her hair when Bond walks in] Come in.

James Bond: Good evening. My name is Bond, James Bond. Your dancing is superb and so are you.

Saida: Merci. And you are very handsome.

May Day: And I thought that creep loved me!

James Bond: [sees a dead miner's body float by] You're not the only one he double-crossed.

Chief Geologist WG Howe: What have they done?

Max Zorin: [switches pistols with May Day] You discharged her, so she and her accomplice came here to kill you. Then they set fire to the office, to conceal the crime but they were trapped in the elevator and perished in the flames.

Howe: But that means I would have to be...

Zorin: [shoots him; Jenny Flex appears at a nearby door. to Bond] Dead! That's rather neat, don't you think?

James Bond: Brilliant. I'm almost speechless with admiration.

Zorin: Intuitive improvisation is the secret of genius.

Bond: Herr Doktor Mortner would be proud of his creation.

James Bond: My department knows I'm here. When I don't report, they'll retaliate.

Max Zorin: If you're the best they've got, they're more likely to try and cover up your embarrassing incompetence.

Bond: Don't count on it, Zorin.

Zorin: [laughs] Ha ha, you amuse me, Mr. Bond.

Bond: It's not mutual.

Max Zorin: [the morning after Bond sleeps with May Day] You slept well?

James Bond: A little restless but I got off eventually.

Emcee: Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful Dominique.

Achille Aubergine: [chuckles] Perhaps we should add this "butterfly" to our collection, no?

James Bond: Tell me, why do Zorin's horses beat others with far superior bloodlines?

Aubergine: This is a mystery.

Bond: Could he be using drugs?

Aubergine: Nothing showed up in the tests. Later this month, Zorin will hold his annual sale at his stud near Paris. Security is formidable. But the key to this mystery is there. And I, Achille Aubergine, will intend to find it.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: James?

James Bond: I think it may be time to go home.

Goodhead: Take me round the world one more time.

Bond: Why not?

Hugo Drax: [Bond raises his hands] At least I shall have the pleasure of putting you out of my misery. Desolated, Mr Bond?

James Bond: [Drax gasps and staggers back towards an airlock; he lets Drax into the airlock] Heartbroken, Mr Drax. Allow me. Take a giant step for mankind!

Dr. Holly Goodhead: Where's Drax?

Bond: Oh, he had to fly.

Hugo Drax: Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?

James Bond: I discovered it had a crush on me.

Dr. Holly Goodhead: Have you broken something?

James Bond: [Goodhead kisses him] Only my tailor's heart. What was that for?

Goodhead: For saving my life.

Bond: Remind me to do it more often!

Hugo Drax: You missed, Mr. Bond.

James Bond: [dryly; returns shotgun] Did I? As you said: "Such a good sport.

Corinne Dufour: My mother gave me a list of things not to do on a first date...

James Bond: Maybe you won’t need it. That’s not what I came for.

Dufour: [disappointed] No? What do you want then?

Bond: What about that list of your mother's?

Dufour: I never learned to read.

James Bond: Oh, I suppose you're right. We would be better off working together. Détente?

Dr. Holly Goodhead: Agreed.

James Bond: Understanding?

Goodhead: Possibly.

Bond: Co-operation?

Goodhead: Maybe.

Bond: Trust?

Goodhead: Out of the question.

James Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Q: [in disguise as the priest] That's putting it mildly, 007!

Countess Lisl von Schlaf: Oops! Me nightie's slipping.

James Bond: So's your accent, Countess. Manchester?

Von Schlaf: Close. Liverpool.

Bond: That was a rather amusing conversation between you and the owner of this. What exactly did Columbo whisper to you at the restaurant?

Von Schlaf: That you were a spy, and to find out more about you.

Bond: And have you?

Von Schlaf: Have I ever.

Bibi Dahl: That's a laugh. Everyone knows it builds up muscle tone.

James Bond: Well, how about you build up a little more muscle tone by putting on your clothes?

Dahl: Don't you like me?

Bond: [Wearily] Why, I think you're wonderful, Bibi... But I don't think your uncle Aris would approve.

Dahl: Him? He thinks I'm still a virgin.

Bond: Yes, well...you get your clothes on and I'll buy you an ice cream.

Tanner: You were supposed to question Gonzales, not let Miss Havelock perforate him!

James Bond: I quite agree, sir.

Frederick Gray: [[Margaret Thatcher|she'll] I'm afraid we have to inform the Prime Minister that Operation Undertow is dead in the water. Why... ] have our guts for garters!

Blofeld: Mr. Bond! Mr. Bond! We can do a deal! I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel! Please!

James Bond: [pats him mockingly on the head] All right, keep your hair on!

Blofeld: Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!

James Bond: [casually; drops Blofeld into a chimney] Oh, you want to get off?

Blofeld: [voice trails off on the way down, and a crash is heard] MISTER BOOOOOOOOOOND!!!

James Bond: [To General Gogol, after throwing the ATAC console off a cliff rather than give it to him] That's détente, comrade. You don't have it, I don't have it!

James Bond: [while buying flowers after killing a motorcycle rider] Just send them to the funeral, would you?

James Bond: [after kicking a car down a cliff] He had no head for heights.

James Bond: [Amasova has just used a Bond car gadget to kill an enemy] How did you know about that?

Major Anya Amasova: I stole the blueprints to this car two years ago.

James Bond: The lady will have a... Bacardi on the rocks.

Major Anya Amasova: [[martini] For the gentleman, vodka ] - {{W|shaken, not stirred}}.

James Bond: Touché.

Major Anya Amasova: [[w:On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|Wife killed–] Commander James Bond, recruited to the British Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to kill and has done so on numerous occasions. Many lady friends but married only once. ]

James Bond: All right, you've made your point.

Major Anya Amasova: You're sensitive, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: In some cases, yes.

James Bond: [to Sandor; Sandor says nothing] Where's Fekkesh? Where's Fekkesh!

Sandor: Pyramids!

James Bond: What a helpful chap.

Q: Right. Now pay attention, 007. I want you to take great care of this equipment. There are one or two rather special accessories...

James Bond: Q, have I ever let you down?

Q: Frequently.

James Bond: [finding Jaws hiding in a closet] He just dropped in for a quick bite.

James Bond: [after Karl Stromberg fires his bolt] You shot your bolt, Stromberg... Now it's my turn.

James Bond: [after a motorcycle Rider falls off a cliff to his death] All those feathers and he still can't fly.